Chapter 36 #2
against the bristly landscape of his jawline. His familiar scent wove around her. She drank him in while a herd of wild horses
trampled her chest.
Then she met his gaze again as awareness crackled between them.
“You have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?”
She brushed her thumb along his jaw. “What’s stopping you?”
His blink was slow and tortured. “I’d like to think I’ve grown up a little in the years we’ve been apart. I don’t go around
kissing unavailable women these days.”
The memory of their first kiss washed over her like a warm wave. Would it still be like that? She was desperate to find out.
“That’s good... because I’m not unavailable anymore.”
A question flared in his eyes, quickly replaced by desire. As if needing no further explanation, he leaned close. His lips
brushed hers as soft as a breath.
As charged as a live wire.
His fingers threaded into her hair, holding her steady.
But she wasn’t steady. Wasn’t anything close. Steady was overrated. It was just as it had been before. Just as it had always
been. They were combustible, sparking and sizzling at a mere touch. A fire out of control. Molten lava.
He palmed her face. His hands slipped down to her shoulders, around her waist, pulling her close. They mapped out every inch
of her back.
She remembered now. How had she forgotten what passion was? How had she let herself settle for such a poor imitation when
this was out there?
Because he broke your heart.
She tried to pluck the errant thought. But the pernicious weed was already growing roots. Strong ones that wouldn’t give way
no matter how hard she tugged.
As if sensing her hesitation, Gray began retreating in degrees. His hands returned to her face, softening. The kiss slowed.
An inch of space edged between them, then two.
Then his forehead was against hers, their ragged breaths mingling between them.
“Man, I’ve missed that,” he said.
Missed didn’t begin to cover it. But that weed stretched and twined, strangling every good thought and feeling his kiss had planted
in her heart.
He drew back. “Shelby?”
“Give me a minute.” She was breathless. Mindless. His kiss, his touch, had scrambled her thoughts.
“You do the same to me. Rattle me. All these years I’ve let myself believe what we had must’ve been a fluke. Youth, hormones,
whatever.”
“Um, nope.”
He chuckled. His eyes sparkled in the firelight.
The exchange lightened her mood. They’d always had passion, yes. But they used to have fun together too. He could be funny
when he let down his guard. She used to wish he’d let others see that lighter side of himself.
And she’d forgotten about this bolder side of herself. He’d always brought that out in her. She’d been the best version of
herself when she was with him, and she’d missed that. Hadn’t realized how much until now.
“What happened between you and Logan?”
“I broke up with him on Tuesday. It just wasn’t working. He didn’t... We were always a dead end, I think.” And what about
Gray and her? Weren’t they a dead end too—for completely different reasons?
“I almost feel sorry for the guy.”
Their gazes met and clung as her thoughts spun. His life was hours away from Grandville and he wasn’t welcome here. Just being
back in this town must bring back such awful memories for him. “What are we going to do?”
His thumb swept across her cheek, his eyes growing intense. “I want to be with you, Shelby.”
Her heart did a slow roll. “But how will that work?”
“We’ll figure it out.”
That was too vague. She’d gone into this the first time thinking they’d figure it out, and look what happened. She drew back.
“That’s not a plan.”
“I know we have some obstacles—”
“Putting it mildly.”
He acknowledged that with a nod. “All right. Fair. We live in separate towns.”
“And you’ve wanted out of Grandville since forever—not that I can blame you. That’s just the beginning.”
“You’d never leave your grandmother’s shop, and your family hates me with a passion.” His eyes gleamed. “That about cover
it?”
Everything except the biggest obstacle. Might as well put that on the table too. “Then there’s the past. You up and left me,
Gray. You left me just like my mom did.”
The gleam faded. His expression turned stricken. Either it was a trick of the firelight or his eyes glazed with a sheen of
tears.
He hadn’t realized. Hadn’t made the connection till now.
“Shelby... I’m so sorry. The last thing I ever meant to do was hurt you. What an idiot I was.”
“I’m not trying to rub your nose in it. I’ve forgiven you—but I’m not a slow learner.”
“Neither am I. I’ve paid for my stupidity a hundred times over by losing the best thing I ever had. I’ll never stop being
sorry for leaving you the way I did or for the pain I caused you—especially now that I understand it better.” He pinned her
with an unswerving look. “But, Shelby... I will never up and leave you again. You have my word on that.”
She wanted to believe him. She could see he meant what he said. But they had other problems and no foreseeable solutions. It all seemed rather hopeless.
“Relationships always have obstacles. And we’re not kids this time. I know I have to rebuild trust with you. I’m willing to
put in the effort. We can figure all this out one step at a time.”
The trust thing was daunting enough on its own. As for the rest, she didn’t see any easy answers. But she also couldn’t see
giving up what they had together now that they’d found it again.
I still love him.
The thought hit her like a punch to the heart. How could that be true? She wasn’t sure, but it was. She felt it down to her
soul. And she’d spent too many years trying to find this special something with other men not to appreciate its rarity.
“This is worth fighting for, Shel. I believe it with everything in me.” He gave her a little space, held eye contact for a
long moment. “But the ball’s in your court. If you can’t go there with me again... I understand. I’d hate it, but I’d understand.
If that’s the case, I’ll do whatever you want—stay and help you through the holiday or... pack my things and leave.”
The very thought made her want to hide his suitcase. She wouldn’t send him packing. But her heart, though bursting with love
for him, was wary. She had to keep her senses about her somehow until they found reasonable solutions to their problems. Maybe
that was a lost cause, but she had to try. “We’d need to take it slow.”
Relief flared in his eyes as a grin tipped his lips. “You’re calling the shots here, Sunshine.”
The old nickname warmed her through. But she was too busy thinking of their obstacles to dwell on it. Like her family and
their feelings toward Gray. “No sneaking around like last time.”
“I think we both learned our lesson on that one.”
Were they really going to do this? A thrill of pleasure shot through her. He stroked the back of her hand, the touch resurfacing that runaway kiss they’d just shared. If she was going to keep her head, they’d have to dial it way back. “And we need to take those kisses down about ten notches.”
“Whatever you say.”
She gave him a stern frown. “I mean it.”
He lifted both hands, palms out. “You’re the boss.”
Hmm. All this power was starting to agree with her. She should use it to her best advantage. “All right then, Grayson Briggs.
Get over here and kiss me again. But mind you keep that tongue in your mouth, mister.”
His grin split wide open. “Yes, ma’am.”