Chapter 13 #2
Ciara sighed, knowing her mother was right. She was doing some wishful thinking for a plan that would never get off the ground. ‘I know, Ma,’ she said. ‘I should stop dreaming.’
Maureen nodded. ‘Yes, you should. It’s not going to be possible to turn this into a business that brings in an income.’
‘Why not?’ Ciara asked, even though she knew Ma was right. But she didn’t want to let go of the dream just yet.
‘Because you don’t have a clue how to run this kind of business for a start,’ Maureen said.
‘I could learn,’ Ciara countered.
‘No, you couldn’t,’ Maureen retorted. ‘But I do think there are a lot of valuable books here, so maybe we can sell them? There must be a collector out there somewhere who’d love some of these. That’s all I see us doing with this place.’
‘What a shame,’ Ciara said. ‘This could be a wonderful opportunity for us. A whole new start.’
‘Or a way to lose everything you have in a short time.’ Maureen shook her head. ‘You have a good, pensionable job and you could rise in the civil service if you only put your mind to it.’
‘Ma, please stop trying to run my life.’ Ciara paused, knowing she might have been too harsh, but she had a feeling her mother was trying to take over and tell her what to do.
As usual. This is my inheritance and my adventure, Ciara thought.
I was happy Ma came with me to help out, but that’s all I’m going to let her do.
I know she’s lonely and misses Dad, but I can’t let her butt in and ruin everything.
‘If that’s how you feel,’ Maureen said, looking hurt, ‘I could go back home, if you want. I thought we were in this together. It was giving me such a thrill to go somewhere new with you and help you do up this place so you’d get a good price for it.
But if you feel I’m ruining this experience for you, I’ll go.
’ Maureen put the books she was holding on the counter and started for the door, her eyes brimming with tears.
Full of remorse, Ciara rushed to her mother’s side and put her arms around her.
‘No, Ma, please don’t go. I do want you here with me.
You’ve been such a help already. It’s just that I want to decide for myself what to do.
I know I’m imagining all sorts of things that don’t seem realistic at all to you.
I do have a job, but I’m not really happy there.
And yes, a flat that I like and a social life in Dublin.
I know you think it would be crazy to give all that up and move here to the back of beyond and start some kind of business. ’
Maureen nodded and pulled away, taking a tissue from her pocket. ‘Yes, it would. But I understand,’ she said, dabbing her eyes. ‘You were trying to realise your dreams of changing your life and do something more challenging.’
‘That’s it,’ Ciara agreed. ‘I would love to be able to take the risk and make this little shop come alive again. But you’re right. It would be stupid to leave everything I have behind and jump into a venture that would probably crash in the end.’
Maureen sighed. ‘Oh, I would love to join you in a venture like this, so I do understand how you feel. I need to do something with the years I have left, you see. I’m fit and healthy and full of energy, and I’m sick of old people!’
Ciara couldn’t help laughing. ‘I’m sorry, Ma. That sounded so funny in all the misery. You’re not old to me, but a very smart woman and I love you to bits.’
‘I love you too, Ciara,’ Maureen said, walking back to her daughter, wrapping her arms around her.
‘I’m sorry about trying to stop you doing something you’d love.
And running this shop with you would be such fun.
It was just an idea, and you should feel like you can explore it.
I just don’t want you to give up your secure job and your whole life.
It would be beyond foolish, even if it’s a wonderful dream. ’
‘Thanks for understanding, Ma,’ Ciara said, feeling her own tears well up.
‘We’ll talk about it later. If we get a good price for this place, we could buy a little holiday home by the sea close to Dublin with a garden that you could look after.
Then you could be there all summer long.
Enjoying it, not stressing about a new business. What do you think about that idea?’
‘That sounds nice,’ Maureen said, looking a little brighter. ‘But first we have a lot of work to do before we can even think about that.’
‘We do,’ Ciara said. ‘So let’s roll up our sleeves and get stuck in. It’s a lovely space here and once we clean the windows, the sun will shine in.’
Maureen nodded and blew her nose. ‘Yes. One step at a time, of course.’
‘Exactly,’ Ciara said, feeling satisfied her mother had understood what she wanted to do.
‘But I do think you should be nicer to that lovely young man,’ Maureen continued.
‘What young man?’ Ciara asked. Then she realised Maureen meant Ronan. He did seem to be a kind of mother-in-law’s dream with his polished appearance and polite manners. ‘Oh, him,’ she said. ‘Well, I’m afraid he’s not on the market, even if you thought he was interested in me.’
‘You mean he’s involved with someone else?’ Maureen asked, looking disappointed.
‘In a way, yes,’ Ciara replied cryptically. ‘We’re not even friends, really. I think he was just curious, to be honest.’
‘I see,’ Maureen said. ‘In any case, I think Oisín is much more suitable for you.’ She pushed up the sleeves of her shirt and grabbed the broom. ‘No matter. Let’s clean the windows and sweep the floor before we wash it and then we can—’