Chapter 3

The next day I felt pathetic. I had to go to work late in the afternoon and had planned to interview prep in the morning for a government job that would be hiring in a few months.

But I stayed in bed in my underwear with the air-conditioning on, flipping between browsing Tinder and looking for hookers for my morbidly obese friend.

I googled escort sites. Rio Dreams, VIP Gold RJ, Naughty Girls, Pinup Rio.

You’ve got the time, Hugo had said. Apparently, I did.

Sassy Brunette, Blond Freak, Sulamita, Sheron, Tuliane, Micaella, Capitu, Ana Kelly, Paola, Shana, and Mel.

I figured Blond Freak might be a good bet.

Unforgettable oral, vaginal, nice chat, and massage.

Kissing: Yes. Anal: No. Men, women, couples.

All cards accepted. I called her, explained the situation, she hung up on me.

I guess Blond Freak wasn’t so freaky after all.

“Who is this?” she answered, like she was in the middle of something very important. She had a deep, domineering but pleasant voice, like a cabaret singer. There was traffic noise in the background.

“I saw your ad and I’d like to hire you.”

“Right now?”

“Next week. The nineteenth.”

It was like making a doctor’s appointment. Do you take Blue Cross?

“Look, it’s kind of a delicate situation,” I said. I was so tired of women hanging up on me that I even briefly considered leaving out Piglet’s weight.

“Where are you now?”

“Copacabana.”

“So am I. Can you meet me?” I insisted. “I’d rather speak in person.”

“You buying lunch?”

I looked at my watch. It was already past noon. I had to eat, change, and be at the bookstore by three.

“Okay,” I said.

We arranged to meet in thirty minutes at lifeguard station 2.

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