Chapter 6
The next morning, I went into the bookstore early.
The mall was empty. It was a Tuesday and the end of the month.
I felt nervous and excited about the secret dinner.
Something told me it would be a success.
I was already imagining people talking about it, waiting lists, the dinners being announced on cooking shows.
Maybe this was what would finally allow me to quit my job at the bookstore and run my own business.
Owner of a restaurant chain … That didn’t sound bad at all.
The excitement made me spend a few hours in the cookbook section.
I leafed through the books, looking at the photos, taking notes.
I googled menu terms I didn’t know and did a little research on table etiquette.
The afternoon flew by. When it was time to leave, my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was my mother.
“Hi,” I said impatiently.
“Is everything okay, son? Miguel called Mirtes earlier today and it sounds like you’re having a tough time. She was worried and came to talk to me … Is something going on? Do you need help?”
“No, Mom, everything’s fine.”
“Is it money? I mean, you know—”
“There’s no problem.” I cut her off. It wasn’t a matter of pride but self-preservation.
“I can tell when you’re lying to me, Dante. You’re acting strange.”
“I’m at work, that’s all. I can’t just sit around chatting on the phone.”
“You’re still working at the bookstore?” she asked, some scorn in her voice.
“Yes. I have to go, okay? I love you.”
I hung up, outraged by Miguel’s behavior.
I was sure he’d purposely talked to his mother about the rent just so my mom would hear about it.
But on the bus ride home, I managed to calm down.
I was sure he hadn’t done it maliciously.
Miguel wasn’t that kind of person. When I got home, I’d talk to him and ask him to call his mother, to explain to her that it was all an overreaction, it wasn’t that big of a deal.
I rehearsed what I’d say a few times in my head but forgot everything by the time the elevator reached our floor.
I heard shouting before I even got to the door.
I turned the key and ran inside. It wasn’t hard to figure out that the argument was coming from Piglet’s bedroom.
I entered without knocking. Piglet was sitting in his massage chair in front of the computer.
Over by the window, his face as red as a fire hydrant and the veins on his forehead popping out, Miguel was shouting, his finger raised. “You reckless, insane idiot!”
I’d never seen him so upset. Piglet kept a calm expression, his eyes glued to the monitor.
“What’s going on?”
“A total fucking disaster, Dante!” Miguel said as he slapped a picture frame above the headboard. “A total fucking disaster!”
Somewhere on his mess of a desk, Piglet found a lighter and lit a joint.
“Care to explain?” I asked him.
“Check this out,” Piglet said, giving a wide but tense smile. “You’ve gotta see this!”
Miguel turned his back, like he couldn’t bear to look at the computer screen again. Hesitantly, I moved closer. Several pages were open on the monitor. One of them was from .
“Insanity, man, it’s total insanity,” Piglet said, blowing smoke in my face.
He opened a new tab and went to Itaú online banking. He filled in the login details for some guy named José Pereira Valim.
“Who’s that?”
“It’s an account I’ve been logging into for years. He died, but the bank never found out.”
Without another word, Piglet clicked on the Statement Balance icon. It took a few seconds for the page to load, then the following appeared on the screen: R$30,000.00.
“Wait, what? You were lying? You didn’t spend our money?”
“Guess again, babe. I’ve uncovered a gold mine!” he cried, taking a hit from the joint pursed between his lips. “Remember that riddle you told us about the seagull meat?”
I nodded, still not understanding.
“I don’t know why, man, but that stuck in my head,” Piglet said.
“So, like, as a prank, I decided to mess with the registration form Hugo asked me to fill out on . Instead of charging five hundred a head, I set the price at three thousand. And … instead of saying there would be lamb with a vodka and green apple reduction, I said there would be … human meat. Human flesh with a vodka and green apple reduction. Get it now?”
I felt my knees buckle and had to lean against the back of the chair to keep from falling to the floor. Miguel massaged his temples with his left hand.
“I thought that shit would get taken down by admins in a matter of minutes … I was just messing around,” Piglet explained ecstatically.
“But you’re not gonna believe this, I went on the site half an hour later and people were already signing up.
More than ten people were interested, Dante.
People willing to pay a fortune. Thirty thousand reals in half an hour. So, how do you like that, kiddo?”