23. Calder
Calder
As I rode back to my house, more lies formed in my head.
Now that I had the Elder Council’s permission to keep Ethan safe, I had to convince Ethan to stay with me.
And I hadn’t exactly been treating him the best so far.
Every time he got close, I pushed him away.
Just as soon as I did that, I’d sweep him up and make some romantic gesture, then push him away again. The guy had to be getting tired of me.
But the truth couldn’t be avoided anymore.
After spending so much time with him, I was sure he was my mate.
There was no other way to explain how I felt.
It was also the only way to explain why I’d gone from straight to gay at the speed of light.
As much as I searched my past, I couldn’t find any signs that I’d secretly been into men the entire time.
But now that I was with Ethan, I couldn’t think about anyone else but him. Only a mate bond could do that.
My wolf wanted him bad. Suddenly nothing felt important except Ethan.
I didn’t care about the Council, the car garage, my pack, or even whether or not I’d eaten.
All I could think about was him, his touch, and the way his scent clung to my skin.
And that feeling was going to get me in trouble.
If the Council saw me abandon everything for this human, they’d know my secret immediately.
I was pretty sure Elder Morgana knew already.
I pulled into my driveway, cutting the engine and sitting there for a long moment. The house looked peaceful in the morning light, no sign of the turmoil happening inside my head. Taking a deep breath, I dismounted the bike and headed for the door, trying to organize my thoughts.
The scent hit me the moment I stepped inside, coffee brewing, toast, and Ethan.
My wolf stirred immediately, eager and possessive.
I found him in the kitchen, wearing nothing but his boxers and one of my t-shirts that hung loose on his smaller frame.
The sight of him in my clothes made something primal rumble in my chest.
"Hey," he said, glancing up with a tentative smile. "I hope it's okay that I made coffee."
"Of course," I managed, trying not to stare at the way the sunlight caught in his blonde hair. "My house is your house."
His eyebrows rose slightly at that. "That's... generous. Considering you left me a note practically threatening me if I stepped outside."
I winced. "Sorry about that. I had an important meeting I couldn't miss."
"At seven in the morning?" Ethan leaned against the counter, those green eyes studying me carefully. "In your nicest clothes?"
Damn his reporter instincts. "It was work-related."
"The auto shop opens at seven on Saturdays?" He wasn't buying it, and I couldn't blame him.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Look, Ethan... there are some things about me, about my life, that I can't explain right now."
"Can't or won't?" His voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it.
"Both." I met his gaze directly. "But I need you to trust me when I say that staying here, with me, is the safest place for you right now."
Ethan set down his coffee mug with deliberate care. "Because of what I saw last night? The monster?"
I nodded, moving closer to him. "That thing, whatever it was, left a human heart outside your apartment. That's not random, Ethan. You're being targeted."
“I know,” he said simply. “It’s not the first time I’ve seen him.”
I froze, the words hitting me like a physical blow. "What do you mean it's not the first time?"
Ethan's face went pale, his hands trembling slightly as he reached for his coffee. "The night my father died. That thing was there. I saw it—” He stopped mid-sentence, his voice no longer working.
My wolf whined in distress at the pain in his face, the old trauma bleeding through his carefully maintained composure. I wanted to pull him close, to comfort him.
“And then I saw it again,” he said at last. “A year ago. Just before I went… into the mental hospital.” He lifted his gaze, his eyes full of anguish. “It’s the same monster. Always has been. His eyes… they’re always the same.”
My blood ran cold. A year ago. The same time frame when rumors of rogue attacks had started filtering in from other parts of New England. The pieces were falling into place in the worst possible way.
"Ethan," I said carefully, moving closer until I could smell the lingering traces of my scent on his skin. "This creature that's been following you... did it ever try to hurt you directly?"
He shook his head slowly, his fingers wrapped so tightly around his coffee mug his knuckles were white.
"No. It just... watches. Like it's waiting for something or like it’s teasing me.
" His voice dropped to a whisper. "That's what scared the doctors.
They said I was having paranoid delusions, that grief was making me see things that weren't there. "
The pain in his voice made my wolf pace restlessly. This beautiful, brave man had been carrying this terror alone for years, dismissed and medicated when he was telling the truth all along.
"But you kept researching anyway," I said, thinking of the box under his bed, all those newspaper clippings and police reports.
"I had to." His green eyes met mine, fierce despite the fear. "No one else was going to find answers. No one else believed me."
I believe you, I wanted to say. I know exactly what you saw because I am one of them.
But the words stuck in my throat, held back by years of conditioning and the very real threat of what the Council would do if they discovered I’d given away my secret.
Instead, I reached out and gently took the mug from his trembling hands, setting it aside before pulling him into my arms. He came willingly, melting against my chest with a shuddering sigh.
"You're safe now," I murmured into his hair, breathing in his scent.
"Whatever this thing wants, it'll have to go through me to get it. "
Ethan pulled back slightly to look at me, his hands resting against my chest. "Why are you doing this, Calder? Really? Last night you said I was yours, but we barely know each other."
The question hung between us, loaded with implications I wasn't ready to address.
How could I explain that every instinct I had screamed to protect him?
That being near him felt like coming home?
That the thought of losing him made my wolf howl with anguish?
"I don't know," I said finally, which was both a lie and the truth.
"All I know is that when you called me last night, terrified and alone, nothing else mattered except getting to you. "
His eyes searched my face, looking for deception. "And this morning? When you left so early?"
I hesitated, weighing how much I could reveal. "I was making arrangements. Ensuring you'd be protected."
"What kind of arrangements?"
Before I could answer, my phone rang. Trevor's name flashed on the screen, and I cursed under my breath.
I'd completely forgotten about my own business. He was probably wondering why the hell I wasn’t at work.
"I have to take this," I said and pulled away from Ethan reluctantly, stepping into the living room to answer.
"Trevor, what is it?" I kept my voice low, though I knew Ethan's human ears wouldn't catch it from the kitchen.
"Where the hell are you? We've got three oil changes backed up and Mrs. Gonzalez is throwing a fit about her timing belt."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I had Council business this morning. I'm handling something important."
"Something important named Ethan Murphy?" Trevor's voice held a knowing edge that made my hackles rise.
"Watch it," I growled.
"Look, I'm not judging. Just need to know if you're coming in today."
I glanced back toward the kitchen where Ethan was watching me, those green eyes tracking my every movement. "No. Handle it without me. And reschedule any appointments I have for the next few days."
Trevor's low whistle carried through the phone. "That serious, huh? What did the Council say?"
"They've given me temporary guardianship. He stays with me until we catch the rogue."
"And after that?"
The question hit like a punch to the gut. When the threat was gone and I no longer had an excuse to keep Ethan close, what would I do? When the Council would expect me to walk away from my mate as if the bond between us meant nothing.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," I said finally. "Just handle the shop please. I’ll make it up to you."
I hung up before Trevor could respond, turning back to find Ethan leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. My t-shirt hung loose on his smaller frame, exposing his collarbone in a way that made my mouth go dry.
"Everything okay at work?" he asked.
"It's fine," I said, shoving my phone in my pocket. "Trevor can handle things."
"For how long?"
I moved closer, drawn to him like a magnet. "As long as it takes to keep you safe."
Ethan's eyes widened slightly. "You can't just put your life on hold for me, Calder. I appreciate what you're doing, but—"
"I'm not putting anything on hold," I interrupted, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. The simple contact sent electricity through my fingertips. "This is exactly where I need to be right now."
He caught my wrist, his touch gentle but firm. "You're not telling me everything. I'm a reporter, remember? I know when someone's hiding something."
The earnestness in his gaze made my resolve waver. Would it be so terrible to tell him the truth? To explain why I felt this overwhelming need to protect him, to claim him?
"Ethan," I began, my voice rougher than intended. "What I feel for you... it's complicated."
"Try me," he challenged. "I'm pretty good with complicated."
I took a deep breath. “I can’t explain it,” I lied. “Not yet anyway. I’m still trying to figure it out.”
“Because I’m a guy?”
I nodded even though that wasn’t the reason anymore. “Y-Yeah. This is all really new to me. I like it,” I added quickly. “But it’s… different and kind of intense.”
Ethan's expression softened, and he stepped closer, his free hand coming up to rest against my cheek. "Intense how?"
The simple touch made my wolf rumble with satisfaction, and I had to fight to keep my eyes from shifting. "Like I can't think straight when you're around. Like nothing else matters except making sure you're safe and... mine."
The possessiveness in my voice should have scared him, but instead his pupils dilated slightly, his scent spiking with arousal. "Calder..."
"I know it's too much, too fast," I said, leaning into his touch. "But I can't help it. When I thought that thing might hurt you last night, I nearly lost my mind."
"You didn't though," he said softly. "You came for me. You protected me."
The trust in his voice made my chest tight. Here was this incredible man, placing his faith in me despite all my secrets, all my half-truths. He deserved better than lies, but the truth would get him killed.
"Stay with me," I said instead, my forehead dropping to rest against his. "Not just until this is over. Stay."
Ethan's breath caught. "Calder, we just—"
"I know," I interrupted. "I know it's crazy. But I meant what I said last night. You're mine, and I'm yours. I don't want to let you go."
His green eyes searched mine, and I saw the moment he made his decision. "Okay," he whispered. "But I have conditions."
"Name them."
"No more running away when things get intense. No more pushing me away just to pull me back again." His thumb traced along my jawline. "And eventually, when you're ready, I want the truth. All of it."
My wolf whined at the impossible promise, but I found myself nodding anyway. "Deal."