The Secret Of Us (Coates Academy #2)

1. Izzy

1

IZZY

“You’re proposing?!”

“Can you both be quiet?” Isaac hisses, stepping out into the busy corridor as if Violet will appear out of thin air. Even if she were near my room, she definitely wouldn’t be able to hear us over the sound of hundreds of students moving in for the year.

“You’re proposing to Violet?” Luke yells in the loudest whisper I’ve ever heard. I don’t know how Isaac has put up with him for all these years, but their friendship means he’s become a permanent fixture in my life, too.

“Who else would I be proposing to, idiot?” Isaac says, raising his hands in exasperation.

“I might have misheard you!”

I watch them going back and forth, bickering like brothers. Isaac rolls his eyes at everything Luke says, already getting carried away with plans for parties. He grabs onto Isaac’s shoulders, shaking him until Isaac finally puts him in a headlock. All I can see is the top of Luke’s sandy hair, but the noises he’s making tell me I should probably try and break this up.

I pull on Isaac’s arms so he’ll let go of Luke, and the two straighten up once they remember they’re meant to be older and more responsible than me. I force us to get back to the pressing matter of my brother telling us he’s going to propose to the love of his life.

“Are you serious?” I try to hide the glee in my voice, but it’s been a long time coming. I know Violet’s been waiting for this moment, and honestly, so have I. She’s already like a sister to me, but I can’t wait for us to really become a family.

“I spoke to her mum about it a few days ago,” Isaac says as he reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a small black box, opening it to reveal a ring. “She gave this to me.”

Luke and I both bend our heads closer to look at it. It’s a simple gold band with a small diamond embedded in the middle. It must mean a lot to Violet and her mum for her to give it to Isaac.

“When are you going to do it?” Luke asks, and I look up at Isaac for his response.

He suddenly seems so much older than twenty-one, so much older than the brother I’ve grown up with for the past seventeen years.

He’s had a tougher time than I have, especially after everything that happened with our parents. But he’s shielded me from so much of it, allowing me to grow up without the same worries he had to deal with.

Isaac had to mature faster, taking on the role of a guardian so that he could look after me. The guilt I’ve been feeling for the past few years starts pressing in again, resurfacing whenever I feel a slight bit of happiness or optimism.

“As soon as I can. I need to finish the video I’m making for her first, though,” he says as he pockets the ring, patting it once it’s secured again.

Over the summer, Isaac graduated from university, studying animation. He always makes short videos for Violet of his favourite scenes from her books. They’ve been sharing their art with each other for years, working on projects whenever they have a spare moment.

“I’m so happy for you, Isaac,” I tell him, forcing down the lump in my throat and hoping he doesn’t see the tears forming in my eyes.

“Me too,” Luke adds, pulling Isaac into a hug and firmly clapping him on the back. “If you don’t let me be your best man, I will ruin the wedding.”

“Oh my god,” Isaac says as he shoves Luke away.

“Just something for you to think about,” Luke says, backing away from Isaac and turning toward the door. “I’m going to go and help your future wife with those last boxes.”

The scowl on Isaac’s face is replaced with a wide grin. He runs his hand over his face, as if he can do the impossible task of wiping the smile off it. He’s so happy and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted for him.

Luke exits the room, leaving us alone. I step closer to him, wrapping my arms around his middle to hug him. He rests his chin on my head, squeezing me tightly.

We haven’t always been this close. A few years ago, I probably would have shuddered at the idea of hugging him like this. But we’ve both worked hard to strengthen our relationship, knowing that we need to be there for each other.

“You okay?” he asks, pulling back to look at me, his hands moving to rest on my shoulders as we take a step back from each other.

“Yeah, just feels weird this is my last year.” I shrug.

“I felt the same way. Try to enjoy it as much as you can. You won’t even realise how fast it goes by.”

I try to keep my expression fixed so Isaac doesn’t realise that he’s voiced my biggest worry. Once the school year ends, I don’t know what I’m doing. Isaac has been passionate about animation for as long as I can remember. But I don’t have anything like that. The idea of going to school for another three years to study something I don’t care about sounds like the worst thing ever.

But I know I need to figure it out soon. I can’t live with Isaac and Violet for the rest of my life, especially now that he’s just told me they’re going to get married.

Isaac must sense the way my mind has started wandering because he ducks his head down to look directly into my eyes. We both inherited our mum’s green eyes, and at one point, we used to share the same shade of dark brown hair from her, too. However, a decision made out of boredom and being left alone for too long over the summer means mine is now blonde.

“I know you still aren’t sure about what you want to do, but it’s fine. You’ve got time to think it through in the next few months. And even if you don’t figure it out, that’s fine, too. I just want you to enjoy yourself as much as you can this year.” He smiles at me, lightly shaking my shoulders before letting me go.

I muster up the best smile I can, but I know how forced it looks. Isaac does the nice brotherly thing and pretends he doesn’t notice as Violet and Luke enter my bedroom.

“Izzy, you know I love you, but I think you have a problem,” Violet says, waving my star-shaped lamp in the air. Isaac takes it from her and places it on my desk as Luke drops the box he’s carrying on the floor. “Where did half of this stuff even come from?”

I shrug my shoulders in response, adjusting the position of the lamp so it sits exactly where I want it.

“I like buying stuff.”

“We need to cut her allowance,” Violet says jokingly to Isaac. He moves to stand behind her, drooping his arms around her shoulders.

“Never happening,” he says, kissing the top of her head and making her whole face light up. There’s a slight blush on her tan skin, her brown eyes twinkling as she brings her hands up to hold on to Isaac’s. “Are you okay to unpack the rest of this yourself? We should probably start heading back soon so we don’t hit traffic.”

“I’ll get the girls to help me later.”

As much as I’ve been worried about coming back to school, I’m also excited to spend time with my friends. We met up a few times over the summer, but it’s more fun when we’re back at school and around each other all the time.

Violet steps out of Isaac’s arms and pulls me into hers.

“It’s going to be a good year. Take every day as it comes, and try to enjoy yourself.”

“I will,” I tell her, hugging her back and hoping she knows how much I appreciate everything she’s done for me.

We let go of each other and then Isaac hugs me again.

“Call me if you need anything.”

I nod, not sure why I feel like I’m about to cry when we’ve done this routine before.

Luke lifts his hand for a high five, and I slap my hand against his as hard as I can.

“I’ll be around a lot for football, mainly on Wednesdays and Thursdays,” he says, wincing and cradling his now red hand.

“Okay, so I won’t be around on Wednesdays and Thursdays.”

Luke pouts like a puppy dog while Isaac and Violet stifle their laughs.

“Come on, let’s leave her alone to sort this all out,” Isaac says, gesturing to the stack of boxes I’ll most likely leave untouched for weeks.

Violet helped me unpack the important things, sort out my toiletries in my bathroom, and put away most of my clothes. All that’s left is little things like my books and trinkets to make the place feel more like home.

The three of them leave my room with a chorus of goodbyes, and I follow them, peeking my head out the door. I watch my makeshift family walk down the hallway and disappear from sight as they turn the corner to leave the building.

I step back into my room, closing the door to muffle the loud noise outside the corridor before sitting at my desk. A heavy breath that feels like it’s been weighing down on my chest finally escapes now that I’m alone.

I check my phone and see a whole scroll of notifications, but I focus on the group chat with my friends.

Amelia

What time are you both free?

Chloe

Mum is making my bed and then they’re leaving

Amelia

Mine are just about to leave too

Izzy

Isaac and Violet just left but I’ve got a few things to unpack

Chloe

Meet in an hour on the green?

Amelia and I respond with the thumbs-up emoji at the same time, and I lock my phone, throwing it behind me on my bed. While Isaac and Luke were going back and forth to get my belongings from the car, Violet and I put the sheets on together. I turn in my chair, running my hand across the soft blanket on top before my fingers grip it.

Although it’s been a while since I left my parents’ house, and I’m happy with my decision to do so, I’ll feel a pang of something like regret every now and then.

Everyone else’s parents show up for them on move-in day, helping them get settled in for the new school year. But I don’t have that anymore, and it feels like I’m missing out on something when I see mothers with their daughters. I know it’s irrational to expect my parents to show up when I chose to leave them, but it still hurts on days like this.

When Isaac had to move out a few summers ago before he started university, I didn’t know what to do with myself. The house felt too empty without him, his absence haunting every interaction I had with my parents. I couldn’t figure out how they could pretend he didn’t exist when he was the most important person to me.

So, a few months later, when it finally sunk in that they weren’t going to let him come back home, I decided it was time for me to leave, too. They let me go without a fight. My fingers tighten on the blanket, creasing it before I let go and smooth it out.

Isaac was worried at first, not wanting me to damage my relationship with our parents just because he didn’t have one with them anymore. But now that time has passed, it’s obvious it was the right decision for both of us.

They still pay my school fees, but apart from that, we barely communicate at all. Occasional texts here and there to check in but nothing meaningful, nothing that tells me to come home. But I’ve made my own home now with Isaac and Violet.

I stand up and start sorting through some of the boxes, trying to distract myself from spiralling. I line up my books—most of them borrowed from Violet—on the shelf above my desk. Then, I unpack more clothes and wonder why I have so many when I spend most of my time in uniform.

An hour passes quickly, and a ping from my phone tells me it’s time to meet my friends. I adjust my star lamp one last time, grabbing my phone before I leave my room.

By the time I make it down to the big field we call the green, Amelia and Chloe are already sitting together. We must have used some form of telepathic communication because we’re all wearing the same outfit: a white T-shirt with blue jeans. It’s a cute outfit, but when we’re gathered like this, it does seem slightly cult-like.

“There she is!”

“Izzy!”

I drop down to join them on the ground, their arms outstretched toward me as I reach for them. We end up in the strangest huddle that somewhat resembles a hug.

“Missed you both so much,” Amelia says as we let go of each other and settle back into a small circle.

“We literally saw each other last week,” Chloe retorts, flicking her dark hair behind her shoulders.

“Meeting outside of school is different from being back here,” Amelia replies.

“Whatever you say,” Chloe says as she turns to me. “Did Violet do your hair again today?”

She reaches out to fiddle with the small braids forming a crown, and I swat her hand away.

“Yes, so don’t mess it up.” I smooth my hair back down, fixing one of the braids back into place. “This is the only time my hair will look nice this year.”

“Ugh, don’t even mention hockey,” Amelia groans, her hands going to the top of her head as she slicks her golden hair back into a ponytail. “Can’t wait to look like this for the rest of the year.”

I take her hands and pull them down.

“You look beautiful either way,” I tell her, and she blows me a kiss.

“Someone tell me that when you see my new mouthguard. I lost my old one so had to get another one fitted,” Chloe grimaces, baring her teeth at us. “I can still taste it.”

The haunting taste of the gum they use to make impressions of our teeth comes back to me, and I shudder. I’ve been lucky enough not to have to go through that horrifying experience again since Year Seven. Though, if I lost it now, I don’t think I’d even bother getting a new one.

I don’t know the exact moment it happened, but I’ve started losing my joy for playing hockey. It used to be something I loved a lot, and Isaac even fought with our parents over letting me play it when I was younger. And I guess that’s why I feel like I can’t drop it now. To stop playing it now, after everything that Isaac had to deal with to follow his own passions, just feels like I’d be betraying him in some way.

I’m drawn out of my thoughts by Chloe tapping my knee as Amelia waves her hand in front of my face.

“Earth to Izzy. Do you want to go out for dinner later?” Amelia asks.

“Sounds good, but I want to get a quick workout in first. Would anyone like to join me?” I ask them, already knowing what the answer will be.

“I’ll come with you, but I’m too tired to do anything,” Chloe says, and Amelia agrees with her. I’ll take it, though. Even if they just stand in front of the treadmill while I run, at least I can keep talking to them.

“I’ll get changed and meet you there?” I ask them, pushing myself up from the ground. They do the same so we’re all standing together.

“We’ll secure your favourite machine,” Amelia says, lifting her hand in a salute. A laugh escapes me as I draw them both into a hug, squeezing them tightly.

My phone pings, and I let go of them to check who’s texting me because my friends are in front of me, and Isaac and Violet won’t be home yet. I wish I hadn’t.

I throw my head back to face the sky, letting out a groan of frustration.

“Is he still bothering you?” Amelia asks, taking my phone from my hand. When I tip my head back down, they’re both huddled over my phone, scrolling through my messages with Ryan. Very one-sided messages because I haven’t replied to a single one since we broke up before summer.

“He’s relentless,” I tell them as Amelia hands my phone back to me, and I pocket it.

“I can get Josh to fight him,” Chloe says, referring to her own boyfriend, who is on the football team with Ryan. We all burst into laughter at the same time at the idea of gentle Josh fighting anyone.

“It’s fine; he’ll give up eventually when I ignore him in real life, too,” I tell them. “I’m going to go and get changed, and I’ll meet you guys at the gym.”

Amelia and Chloe link arms as they walk toward the sports building, and I turn to walk back in the opposite direction, to the dorms.

When I get back to my room, I ditch my jeans for shorts and change into running shoes. I lace them up, pushing away any negative thoughts about the upcoming school year. Maybe spending these next few months thinking positively will help me avoid making any big mistakes when it comes to decisions about my future.