Chapter 17 Rum and Coke, please. Actually, make that two #2
“Good,” I concede, wishing Paddy would walk through the door and quite literally save me from having to sit and fake pleasantries with this man.
Shit. No. I remember what Paddy said he’d do if he ever saw Rory again. Crap.
He takes another loud sip of his drink before his beer-soaked lips smack together. “That’s good.”
Yeah, I’m doing really good. “Why are you here?” I ask, attempting not to sound rude.
I hate the way his lips pull into a tight line. “I’m visiting my parents. They’re still out this way.”
“Funny, I don’t see them around much.”
Rory places his glass on the table and sits back in his chair. “No, they moved out to East Parish after I left.”
The next village over is even quieter than where we live. “Good for them.”
He shrugs. “They love it. I prefer more noise, personally. More action, if you know what I mean.”
Thick silence falls like a bad smell that neither of us wants to acknowledge. I have no idea what he’s referring to because I am quite happy with the silence our little village has to offer. Once again, I wish I’d just stayed there instead of coming here.
Picking up my drink, I realise I left it unattended. I’m pretty sure I’d be fine, but Holly and I have watched enough movies together to know it’s a dumb idea. I try my best not to take a sip before I ask, “Are you still working at the gym?”
Jerry and I haven’t shared much since he’s been home, but I know that he and Rory stayed in contact. So, I already know the answer to my pointless question.
Rory leans forward, placing a hand on my leg. “Yeah. I have my own place by the art centre. You should come by; I could get you a free membership.” His thumb rubs a smooth circle on the outside of my thigh.
Unwanted memories of our night together, have me recoiling. “No. Thank you,” I add, holding my arms across my middle, turning my body away from him. His slight touch has my blood pressure spiking.
“Ah, don’t act like a stranger with me. You used to like me flirting with you.”
I choke on nothing. “Actually, I didn’t.”
Rory tries to laugh away the fact that I just admitted to not liking him. “If you weren’t so frigid, maybe things could have worked out differently.”
“Frigid?” I question, my insides sinking. I know I shouldn’t care what he says, but the truth is, it throws me right back to being a kid again and hating the fact that I lost my grip on my life somewhere along the way. “I was never frigid.”
He laughs maniacally. “That’s your opinion.” Clutching my bag tightly, I go to stand, but his hand on my leg grips me tighter.
My skin instantly crawls. “Let me go.”
“Why?” he asks, his voice low, coaxing.
I glance around for the barman, heart thudding so loudly, I swear other people can hear it. “Because the last time you called me that, I almost made a mistake to try and prove you wrong.” It was the worst night of my life.
“Maybe you should try and prove me wrong again.” His smug face makes me feel sick. He has no clue how repulsed I am. And if he does, he doesn’t care.
When he winks at me, my eyes narrow. My throat turns dry. My hands won’t stop trembling. That old weight, the shame, the fear, it slams into my chest so violently, the words crack out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Even if I was desperate, I would never do that with you.”
Gripping my leg harder, he leans in close enough for me to be able to smell his rancid breath. It makes my blood run thin, and a putrid taste fills my mouth. “Maybe I like ‘em desperate.”
Grimacing, I turn my face away as his fingers start to move on my skin. I have every intention to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone, but large, strong hands pull me to my feet before I can.
He comes out of nowhere, a blur of anger I’ve never seen on his face before. One second, Rory had me cornered, voice sharp with threat. The next, the man I’ve loved in silence is standing between us, his hand moving me behind him. Protecting me.
Paddy looks down at Rory, eyes blazing, chest heaving. “You don’t get to fucking touch her.” He growls the words, and it’s not why he says them that makes me falter, but the way he says them. Like I’m worth protecting. Like I matter.
Rory’s eyes dance wildly between the two of us as I look over Paddy’s shoulder.
“What, and you do?” Rory sneers.
Paddy snarls in a low, unhinged manner, and I gently tug his arm, wanting to get out of here.
“Come on, O’Keefe, it’s no big deal,” Rory then mutters, voice shaky.
Paddy turns and ushers me out of the pub, his hand guiding me at the small of my back the entire way. The simple touch makes my stomach twist, even though I can feel him vibrating.
His BMW is parked like it was dumped out the front, and no words are exchanged as he opens the passenger door for me to get in.
It’s weird. I’ve never seen him like this before. I don’t know what to say. Knowing in my gut it’s probably best to follow his lead, I blink and duck into his car.
Without a word, his lips press together in a tight line, and he glares at me, like he’s mad. Really mad.
At me?
I don’t get a chance to ask him. He closes the door with a thud before he instructs, “Stay here,” in a deep tone of voice. When he straightens his back, fists clenched, I know he’s about to go back inside instead of getting in the car.
Worry gnaws in my stomach. My gaze drops to my hands. I swear, even through the glass, I hear him sigh before he turns and walks away. It’s only then do I look in the direction of the pub, wondering how bad things are about to get.
Not having to wait long, the door flies open with Rory under Paddy’s hold. Paddy’s usually lively eyes are entirely black. Completely devoid of any sympathy for the man who had his hand on me.
Body trembling, I sit up in my seat, one hand pressed against the door handle, ready to get out and stop him from doing anything stupid. I’ve never had anyone look at me the way Paddy did: like I was his. He didn’t even think. He just moved. And now he’s about to do something stupid. For me.
“What’s your problem, O’Keefe?” Rory yells, swiping under his nose. It’s dark, but not dark enough for me to miss the red splatter on his chin.
“You. You’re my fucking problem.” Paddy throws Rory to the ground.
I can’t stop staring at him. It’s like our kiss when Jerry caught us all over again.
Me wishing he wouldn’t stand up for me in case he gets hurt but being completely overrun with emotion because he’s the only man who ever does.
It causes my heart to stutter before catching fire.
The way he stepped in without hesitation like I was worth fighting for. Like I was worth everything.
“You’re a fucking arsehole for doing what you did to her.”
“I didn’t touch her,” Rory squeals.
Paddy towers over Rory threateningly. “I’m not talking about tonight,” he spits.
The door to the pub opens again just as Paddy raises his fist and Rory lifts his hand to cover his face. Watching the barman who served me looking at Paddy, the two of them exchange a nod.
Paddy lowers his hand, breathing heavily. “Sorry about the mess,” he says, striding away from Rory on the ground without so much as a glance over his shoulder.
The barman nods. “You did me a favour.”
Rory stumbles to his feet unsteadily. Sensibly, he doesn’t mutter another word, but he shakes his head.
My eyes are still fixed on the barman when the driver’s door swings open, and the car bounces with Paddy getting in.
Rory turns and walks away, and eventually, the barman closes the door. We, however, remain stationary, sitting in Paddy’s car.
I wait.
And I wait.
The only sound is Paddy’s heavy breathing. In. Out. In. Out. With time, it slows, and his hands rise to his face, both palms pressing into the sockets of his eyes.
“Paddy?” I whisper gently. He keeps his hands pressed against him, but they tremble. “Paddy,” I say again, resting my hand on his arm.
“I went to his house, you know? The night he hurt you.”
My head snaps to him.
What?
Aghast, I stare at him blankly.
“I knew from the moment you tried to hide your tears that something had happened.”
My eyes prickle and my nose twinges.
“Fi wouldn’t tell me anything, only that it had something to do with him. I thought she was lying or just being a loyal friend. I went to his place in a fit of rage after I dropped her home.” He turns to look at me. “I shouldn’t have done that then, but I couldn’t stop myself, Morgan.”
“Paddy.” His name is my stupid response. My eyes close as I think about what to say. “Did he tell you what happened?”
He nods once, and I look out my window, feeling ashamed. I thought no one knew.
“I didn’t ask for details. I knew that he didn’t make you feel safe. I knew he didn’t look after you how you should have been looked after. And I knew all of that because I could see it in your eyes that night. The pain you were in. The hurt that you felt.” He shakes his head, taking a deep breath.
My heart kicks behind my ribs, the force pulsing through my entire body.
“I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him drop his head. Anger, that was running wild only moments ago, is now replaced with regret. His truth, coupled with coming to get me, is clearly making him edgy.
When he looks up out of the window, it’s like he’s looking for a way out. He’s suddenly tense and visibly uncertain.
I don’t press him for answers. Instead, I suppress the barrage of questions I have and wait for him to lower his hands.
When he does, he shoots me a heartbreaking glance.
His eyes are red, his face is wrinkled tight.
I don’t count the minutes we sit together in silence before he starts the engine, changing the subject entirely.
“Is your seatbelt on?”
I don’t give two shits about my seatbelt. I want to know why he didn’t tell me about Rory all those years ago. I grind my teeth before saying, “It’s five minutes down the road.”
“Put your belt on,” he instructs without giving me a look. His tone is firm and unwavering. Jesus, he’s really giving me all of his emotions tonight.
Rather than argue, I do as I’m told before he starts pulling away. I want to ask why he looks so irritated with himself for coming to my rescue, but the careful way he drives me home is comforting and so telling. He’s scared. For whatever reason, in this moment, Paddy O’Keefe is scared.