Chapter 18
101 YEARS AGO
AMELIA LIKED HIDING behind flowers, but this time, they could not protect her. Once the godmothers healed her ankle, they expected her to accompany Ezran the next morning in the greenhouse, a glass-walled enclosure situated at the end of the castle’s courtyard. The room was filled with the sharp smell of living plants and fresh soil. Trailing vines ran down the enclosure, and drooping trees hung over granite benches. She liked that some flowers were big enough to cover her face, and even the bushes were tall enough to hide her figure. With Ezran by her side, however, she had to focus on making conversation with Gyldan’s newest guest. Which meant she, unfortunately, needed to stay visible.
He had stayed overnight in the castle’s guest chambers. It was the least the royal family could offer as thanks for rescuing Amelia last night. Her godmothers already adored him, and King Victor approved of him. Hearing Ezran’s easy laughter and steady voice, it made sense. He had a casual way of moving around the world, yet a sturdy presence that commanded others to listen.
It helped, too, that he was handsome. The flecks of light in his eyes were magnetic, and the simple white shirt he borrowed was unbuttoned at his throat, highlighting his strong physique. It wasn’t just the adrenaline rush of last night that could convince someone he was beautiful. He truly was. The break of morning light proved it.
“Your godmothers told me true love will break your curse,” he said. “Is that true?”
Ezran watched her carefully, the sunlight gleaming so bright in his eyes it made his irises turn silver, his hair a sleek shade of white. The way he gazed at her brought warmth to Amelia’s cheeks, but it was more from self-consciousness than anything deeper.
She was sure many girls would fall for him. She didn’t know why she couldn’t feel the same way.
“I don’t put much faith in that sort of thing,” she admitted.
“That’s a shame,” he said. “I believe it does exist.”
A jewel-embedded fountain quietly spouted water at the end of the path. The sky reflected in the water’s slow ripples, but as Ezran approached, the liquid glimmered with the pale moon of his face instead. He dipped his hand in the fountain and plucked a blossom petal that had drifted from a tree.
“When I was a child, I almost drowned in the ocean. I should’ve died, but someone saved me,” he said. “If miracles like that can happen, who’s to say you can’t find true love with a stranger?”
He pressed the petal to Amelia’s cheek. The cold struck her skin and made her shiver. A bead of water dripped from the petal, sliding down her face like a teardrop. Ezran’s voice turned soft.
“A second chance at life isn’t granted to everyone. Since then, I’ve told myself to focus on the most important thing to me. It’s not Gyldan, nor is it Zilar. Kingdoms will always rise and fall, and I have no care for petty wars and politics. Money and titles do not matter to me. The only thing I want is to build a simple life with someone I love.”
A breeze whispered through the open window. She watched the petal drift from his hand and examined his slender fingers, the veins that ran down his arms. Lilith had warned her not to trust his intentions. Logically, Amelia knew Ezran had every diplomatic reason to marry into the royal family of Gyldan. The kingdom of Zilar had once been unoccupied territory until armed forces took control, resulting in native people either fleeing the land or fighting back to keep it. For centuries, Gyldan had provided military aid to Zilar, supporting the occupation in exchange for silver. If they strengthened their ties through a marriage alliance, Zilar could block their enemies from seeking asylum in Gyldan and claim even more land.
Yet Ezran’s face held none of its usual masks when he told her of his priorities. His eyes met Amelia’s easily, his voice softened to a lower tone.
This was the most genuine he’d been with her.
A titter of noises came from the double doors. Behind tempered glass, three faces appeared, their wide eyes roaming through the plants to locate Amelia and Ezran. He chuckled at their ogling behind the glass. “It seems your godmothers think we’re a good match.”
“What gave that away? When Clover kept nudging us to walk alone together? Or when Dahlia repeated the whole tale about my curse being broken by true love’s kiss while locking eyes on you the entire time?”
Ezran let out an easy laugh, but it was polite, cordial. He knew she was embarrassed by her godmothers’ overbearing behavior. She hoped he also knew that she was not as desperate as they were.
“Is that what you want, Amelia? A man to sweep you off your feet and save you?”
Amelia shook her head. “I’ve never wanted to be saved.”
She sounded braver than she was. A noble statement that seemed to imply she would be the one saving herself. That wasn’t true, either. If she were to be lost in darkness, she wasn’t sure she’d want anyone to bring her back.
“A man to walk through gardens with you, then?” he asked.
Amelia watched the petal from before drift across cobblestone. It had already dried from its time in the fountain. Now the petal was shriveling.
“I’ve never wanted a man, either,” she replied.
In the stretch of silence, her skin prickled under the weight of Ezran’s stare. It was her turn to be studied, but she couldn’t tell what conclusion he made of her yet.
The doors opened to the sound of her godmothers’ laughter. Upon their entrance, he reached for Amelia’s hand and gave a gentle squeeze, one that she misinterpreted for comfort. The illusion dissolved when he pressed his lips to her ear and whispered.
“Better to fall for a man than a queen.”
The shock nearly toppled her over. She stepped back and tried ripping her hand away, but Ezran gripped tight. Under his grasp, she was immobile.
“Your godmothers are watching,” he murmured. “It wouldn’t look good if you ran away.”
“It’s not what you think,” she stammered. “Lilith and I, we are more like friends. I couldn’t possibly—”
“I see the way you look at her. It’s not normal, and it’s not right.”
Her stomach dropped like a heavy stone had plummeted inside, reached all the way down to her feet, and kept her rooted to the ground. The fountain sputtered water, and she wanted to drown in it. Ezran’s lips grimaced in thinly veiled disgust. The expression made her want to disintegrate. She could not handle the judgment. The spiral of questions for why she was like this, wanted the wrong people, the wrong things.
“Please,” she whispered, “don’t tell anyone.”
Ezran took deliberate care in shifting his expression. The softness of it bristled her skin. He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear so gently it made heat spread down her neck in a horrible way.
“You are beautiful, Amelia. It would be a shame to waste your life on someone who wouldn’t want you. Not the way that I do.”
As she gazed at the silver flecks of his irises, she could not detect the love that he spoke about. It was a different kind of passion, frightening and carnal. Like she was a butterfly, and he was a hunter with a fine-point needle, ready to pin her down. She feared that if he stared any longer, he would find darker secrets lurking beneath her heavy heart. Something more twisted and deeply rooted than desiring another person, but the lack of desire to exist as herself.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and whispered, “I won’t.”
He pressed his lips to the back of her hand. Warm breath fluttered on her skin as he whispered, “Good girl.”
She knew from the prickles that ran down her body what was going to happen. She saw it in slow-motion, like moments before a crash, her imminent death. His knee pressing against the grass. His free hand ripping a rose from the nearby bush. His lips parting for the sweetest of words.
“I know we’ve barely met, but I don’t think our meeting was a coincidence. We were meant to find each other. I’d like to stay on this journey with you. Perhaps I could even show you what it means to love someone.”
“Yes, yes!” her godmothers cried, drawing closer to witness the proposal. Their glowing palms clasped together, and the greenhouse transformed with flowers bursting in riotous color. Leaves and vines wrapped into an arch above their heads. Sparks flared from the tips of their fingers, a dizzying cacophony of celebration before Amelia even answered.
She wanted to say no. She should have. But if there was a voice inside her, one that spoke her innermost truths, she buried it long ago. Everything else was louder. Her godmothers shrieking. The trumpets and music blaring. Ezran revealing secrets she would have never said out loud. All the sounds drowned out her own voice, one that was too unsure of itself to begin with.
Amelia took Ezran’s rose and ignored the prick of thorns cutting her fingers. The moment she answered, the room burst in cheers. Ezran swept her in an embrace, spinning her around until her vision was a blur of lights. The word stuck to her tongue like a critter struggling to crawl its way out.
Yes, because this was how fairy tales were supposed to end. Yes, because romance was how people found meaning in their lives. Yes, because maybe, if she did what everyone else did—marriage and children and family—she would finally fill the emptiness inside her, as well.
She held the rose tight, even as the thorns pierced her. When she wiped her hands on her dress, the fabric was stained with blood, and nobody noticed.