2. Hazel
Chapter two
Hazel
M y heart is pounding as I pull into my parent’s driveway.
You can do this, Hazel.
I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. My family loves me. It’s just after the way I left and how I’ve stayed away for so long, it's all so overwhelming now that I’m back.
Rose Valley, a place that has so many great memories but also holds a dark cloud over me. The house I grew up in sits in front of me. It’s a modest two-story house. A tree stands in the front yard, hanging from it is a swing. One that Ashley and I used to swing on after school. The backyard is fenced in with just enough room for us to run around as kids. The house is in a typical middle-class neighborhood on the outskirts of a small town. Nothing special. But it holds a special spot in my heart. I still remember the day we moved in when I was eight years old.
Seeing the park when we first moved in, running toward it, ready to play…that’s when I saw him for the first time. A skinny, messy and dark-haired boy, swinging by himself hunched over as he stared at the ground. He looked sad and defeated. I was drawn to him immediately. From that moment, that boy had my heart and he’s never let it go. No matter how hard I’ve tried to get it back over the years.
The front door to the house opens, drawing my attention and bringing me back to the present. My father is standing on the porch looking over at me, probably wondering why I’m just sitting in my car. It’s time to face the music. Though my family will be an easy reunion. It will be when I inevitably see Dexter that will be the hardest to face.
I take a deep breath and exit the car. “Hey Dad.”
“Hey, honey. How was the drive?” He slowly makes his way toward me.
“It was long and uneventful.” I respond as I grab my purse from the passenger seat of my car.
“That’s good. Uneventful is always nice when you’re driving cross country.” A tight smile pulls at his mouth as he throws an arm around my shoulders.
“Yes. I’m glad to make it in one piece.” I poke him in his stomach as I tease him.
My dad laughs as we make our way up the porch stairs. “Your mother has been waiting for you. She even made you your favorite meal, chocolate chip cookies,” he says with a kiss to my temple.
“Mmm…I can’t wait to dive in.”
My dad opens the front door and guides me into the house, the smell of freshly baked cookies hits me immediately. I'm home.
“Judy, guess who I found outside?” He yells across the house.
“Paddy, I told you not to yell at me. Just come find me and talk to me,” she hollers back.
A smile spreads across my face as warmth fills me. I’ve missed this. My parents always did love bantering with each other. It was something I hated growing up but now have come to miss.
“Are you going to tell me who you found?” She calls from the kitchen.
“Your favorite daughter," I holler back before my dad can.
A squeal comes from the kitchen, and I can’t help but think, oh man here she comes, I’m sure the neighbors can hear us. My mom busts through the doorway of the living room and wraps me in a bear hug. She pulls me so tight it feels as if she is a boa constrictor trying to force the life from me, but this is who my mom is.
I tap her on the shoulder as I stutter out, “Mom…can’t…breathe.”
She pulls away, wiping the tears from her face as she whispers in a longing voice, “I’m sorry, Hazel. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you when we came back to California for Christmas. It's been even longer since you’ve been home.”
Guilt racks through me knowing that ever since that night I’ve kept everyone I love at arm’s length. “Sorry, Mom.”
She lightly smacks my arm. “Nonsense. It doesn’t matter. You’re home now. Come on, come on. I made you some cookies. Let’s go into the kitchen and I’ll give you some.”
“Sounds good, Mom.” A warm feeling fills my chest at the idea of my mom taking time for me to make sure I feel welcome, even though she's sick.
We both head over to the counter where a plate is already filled with my favorite cookies, and I feel a pang in my chest again. The guilt is overwhelming sometimes. I push my feelings down and focus my thoughts back on my mom. The reason I’m back.
“How are you feeling, Mom?” I lean my elbows on the counter as I grab one of the cookies off the plate and take a bite. I moan as a burst of chocolate hits my tongue. The hint of cinnamon reminds me of my favorite season, fall.
“I’m doing good. Just tired from the chemo.”
As she is saying this, I look closer at her. She does look tired. She is thinner than the last time I saw her, as her clothes hang off her. The bags under her eyes are darker than ever, and her cheeks look more sunken in. There's a scarf wrapped around her head; her appearance a harsh reminder of what she's been going through.
I nod as she talks and swallow another bite of cookie I had in my mouth, which goes down roughly despite its moistness. “Well, I’m here to help now. Maybe you can take a nap if you’re feeling tired?”
She waves me off. “Nonsense. You're home. I’m not too tired to help you unpack.”
“Mom, Dad can help me unpack. I’m here to make your life easier. Please let me do that.”
“Maybe you're right and I should rest.” Her eyes light up with her next words as she claps her hands with her idea. “Then we can have a game night.”
“I would love that, Mom.” A wave of nostalgia hits me as I remember having game night every Thursday growing up. I push back the tears as I remember that I haven't been a part of game night in a while.
“Paddy, you need to help Hazel unpack. I’m going to take a nap,” she yells to my dad again who is in the living room, probably watching some type of sports game.
“Okay, Judy. Hazel, come on, let’s get you unpacked.” My dad's voice carries into the kitchen.
I walk over to my mom and give her a kiss on the cheek like any good daughter would do. “Have a good nap.”
As I walk out into the living room to start unpacking my car, my phone dings. My heart drops as I realize it's an unknown number. This is what I’ve been dreading.
Unknown number: I know you're back. I’m watching you. Make sure you continue to stay away from Dexter.