Chapter 9 #4
“Maybe you should take today off. I mean, you’re dealing with a lot. Then to have to put on a brave face and deal with these crazy ass kids all day might be a bit much for you right now.”
“No, I can’t take today off. I have a full schedule today. I can’t let these babies down because of my stupid ass husband. It’s not their fault I married a sorry sack of shit for a husband.”
“I get that, and it’s very admirable how devoted you are to your job. But sweetie, if you ain’t good, how you gon’ be there for these kids?”
“I just need a few minutes to get myself together and I’ll be fine,” I replied as I applied more foundation to my face, doing my best to get myself together. “I feel bad for even telling you this. I’m sorry to be putting you all in my business.”
“Why you feel bad when I came to you and asked what was up? I’ve known you for some years now. I could tell something was wrong. You shouldn’t feel bad at all.”
“I bet I look like an idiot right now. Ugh! How could I be so darn stupid!”
“Hey, stop all of that,” Kevin comforted me then continued. “You don’t look stupid at all. You’re upset and I don’t blame you. You have every right to be pissed.”
“Ha, thanks for being on my side.”
“What did your husband have to say when you confronted him?”
“Ha, that’s just the thing. I haven’t talked to him yet, at least not about the condom.
Ugh! Here I go looking dumb as shit with what I’m about to say, but he didn’t even come home last night.
When he got in at three this morning, I confronted him for staying out all night and we got into it bad.
He basically got defensive and made me feel like I was out of line for questioning him.
I didn’t know about the condom until after he left.
I tried calling him but of course, he didn’t answer so I texted him.
He never replied cause he knows he fucked up!
” I ranted as I checked my phone for what seemed like the hundredth time to see if Justin responded to my message or tried calling me back.
“Wow! Can I make a suggestion?”
“Sure.”
“I don’t even know dude, but we both can agree that he knows you know he has been up to no good.
Us men don’t like to be questioned or confronted, whether we’re right or wrong.
That’s why you got the defensive attitude.
He basically attempted to flip the shit and make you feel bad when he knows he’s wrong. ”
“That’s exactly what happened. I’m so upset!”
“As you should be. But now that you know what’s really going on, you need to figure out how to move forward with him.
You’re a beautiful woman. I have damn near complimented you every day since we started working together.
Once you told me that you were married, I put all the compliments that I used to give you on ice out of respect for your marriage.
But on some real shit, you too smart and beautiful to deal with a man that don’t respect you.
You can do way better than that. Up your standards. ”
“I hear what you’re saying and thank you for the compliment, but I’m still married. It’s not like he and I are just dating. I feel stuck as shit! Like I can’t just walk away and end things with the snap of my fingers like that.”
“Why can’t you? Being married isn’t a death wish, sweetie.”
“I didn’t get married to get a divorce in less than a year though.”
“Shit, who does? But if you’re not being respected, being married doesn’t mean you have to sit back and take shit either,” Kevin said.
“So, what should I do then? ‘Cause confronting him and trying to get the truth out of him will be a waste of my time.”
“Shit, didn’t you say he stayed out all night? Give his ass a taste of his own medicine.”
“So, you’re suggesting that I hook up with someone, have sex, and stay out all night because that’s what he did to me?”
“I didn’t say all of that. But if that’s what you want to do, who am I to judge you? You can stay out all night and it not be because you hookin’ up with a man. You gotta be creative. You gotta switch shit up and flip that energy back on his ass. Hell, do you and act unfazed.”
“You can’t be serious. My HUSBAND done cheated on me, and you think I should sit back and act like I’m not fazed? That’s ridiculous! Hell, I can’t promise that you will even see me after today ‘cause I want to go home and grab the biggest knife in my kitchen and—”
“Whoa, whoa!” Kevin interrupted. “That’s the last thing you need to do.
Please don’t go and do something that you’ll regret later.
If that man can’t respect you and realize how special you are, he ain’t worth your freedom.
Look, I grew up watching my dad cheat and do my mom wrong as hell when she was the sweetest woman I’ve ever known.
She catered to my dad’s every want and need and he still went out in the streets and did him.
Whenever she’d confront him, things would go bad and fast. But then one day, she switched it up and didn’t give him the reaction that he was expecting, and my dad didn’t know how to handle that.
Eventually, my mom left him. When I got older and bigger in size, I asked my old man why he used to treat my mom the way he did. Do you what he told me?”
“Let me guess, he told you to stay in a child’s place and mind your business?”
“Not quite.” Kevin laughed the continued, “He told me that he took for granted the fact that he thought my mom would always be there and never leave him.”
“Well, I guess she showed him.”
“Boy, did she do that. To this day, and they have been divorced over twenty years, he still tries to get my mom to let him take her out.”
“Oh, wow!” I chuckled for the first time today. “I don’t know if I can be that strong.”
“Of course you can. I don’t know your husband, but I’m a man, and I know that if I fucked up royally like he did, and my wife, if I had one, but I don’t but I’m just saying,” he clarified then continued causing me to giggle.
“If I knew my wife had caught my ass and didn’t react and snap out on me, I wouldn’t know how to handle that.
Put that nigga on ice. If you feel like you can’t do that in his presence, go home and get an overnight bag, grab you some clothes for the next couple of days, and leave for a few days. ”
“Hmmmm, I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about telling my sister or best friend about this just yet. And if I leave, I’d have to go to one of their houses.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I’m not ready to hear the, I told you so’s they gon’ say.”
“How you know they gone say that?” Kevin asked.
“Because this isn’t the first time that I’ve suspected that Justin stepped out on me. I just never caught him. He’d always say he was at his boy’s house, and every time I’d check, that was exactly where he was. Then like a dumbass, I went and married him. Ugh! I feel like such a fool.”
“For starters, you gotta stop putting yourself down. You’re not a dumbass nor are you a fool. You’re just in love with a man that doesn’t know your worth, love. You know us fellas always stick up for one another. You sure his friend wasn’t covering for him?”
“I’m positive because I used to drive by his friend’s house and Justin’s car would always be parked in his driveway.
A few times, I even sat parked a few houses away from his friend’s house, just to see if Justin just parked his car there and had some wanch pick him up from his friend’s house. But that wasn’t the case.”
“So, how often and for how long would he be over there?”
“Literally all damn day, and in some cases all night.”
“You sure he ain’t fuckin’ on his friend?”
“What?” I asked, whipping my head to the side. “That’s the last thing I’m concerned about. Justin and Tate are manly men. They both think they’re players and every woman wants them, if anything.”
“I just had to ask ‘cause you never know. But, if you want, I’ll pay for you to stay a few nights at the Hilton by the mall. That way you can take some time to clear your mind and decide how to proceed with things. You’d be killing two birds with one stone ‘cause I promise you, dude will be home every night that you are gone feeling the way he made you feel when he didn’t come home. Trust, I know ‘cause I’m a man.”
“So, you’re familiar with doing women wrong and have gotten some payback, huh?”
“I mean, in my younger years, I was a motherfuckin’ playa. I’m much more mature now, and thankfully, got all of that out of my system. I ain’t that dude no more. So, what you say? I can call and reserve the room for you now if you want.”
“Oh, no, I wouldn’t dare ask that of you. I’ll figure this out.”
“How about you think about it, and I’ll check in on you throughout the day to see how you’re holding up.”
“Thanks, Kevin. I truly appreciate you for taking the time to talk to me. And I’ll think about what you said. I feel much better than I did when I first got here if nothing else. You made some very good points and gave me a lot to think about. Thanks so much for that.”
“No thanks needed, friend. Try to hang in there, love. Everything will be okay and work out. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but once you calm down and think this shit through, you’ll figure things out. I’m sure of it.”
“Thanks for the encouragement, really. I truly appreciate it. I actually feel much better.”
“Good! Mission accomplished then.” Kevin laughed.
After giving me a hug, Kevin left so that I could get ready for my first meeting of the day.
We had spent the whole first period talking, and he truly helped me feel better.
I couldn’t help but to think he was right, I mean, he was a man, so if anybody knew how men thought it would be him.
Checking my schedule as I waited for Gwen, the student I was scheduled to see, to make it to my office, I noticed that my last two slots for the day were now open.
Going into the system and checking the attendance records, I saw that by a stroke of luck the last two students I was scheduled to see didn’t come to school today.
Pulling up my email, I sent one to my boss asking if I could leave after my last appointment for the day for personal reasons.
Just as I hit send on my message, there was a soft knock on my office door letting me know that it was time for me to shake off my feelings and get my day started.
The faster I’d get started, the quicker the day would go.