Chapter 23 Ava
AVA
“I’m so excited for you, but I’m also sad at the same time,” my sister Dawn said as she helped me pack the last of my boxes into the back of the moving truck.
“Why you sad? You act like I’m moving to another state. I’m literally moving across the street and six houses down.” I heaved placing the heavy box that I was carrying into the back of the truck.
“I know, I just got used to you staying with me is all,” Dawn whined. She was standing there waiting for Kevin and his cousin to finish loading the rest of my furniture from his basement into the back of the moving truck.
“What was that saying Momma used to always say? Every woman needs their own kitchen, I believe. You and I both know that we require our own space.”
“I agree, every woman does need their own kitchen, but we’re sisters. That saying doesn’t apply to us,” Dawn countered.
“I disagree. I did have fun staying with you for three whole long months, and I appreciate you for being supportive as I went through all that shit with my soon to be ex and Shane. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about having my own.”
“I get it, and no thanks needed, sis. I’d do it all again if it ever comes down to it. Speaking of those two devils, what’s the word on them? Have you heard from either one of those fools?” Dawn asked, rolling her eyes at the mention of Justin and Shane.
“Unfortunately, I’ve heard from both of them. Shane hasn’t been doing too well health wise, and Justin finally revealed his test results to me.”
“Oh, you been holdin’ out on the tea, honey!” Dawn screeched, causing me to bust out laughing.
“Not exactly. I’ve just been more focused on closing on my townhouse and moving. Ain’t nobody worried about them two idiots to be honest.”
“I get that. So, what’s the tea, boo?”
“Like I said, Shane hasn’t been doing too well—”
“Hell, the way I see it is that’s his issue! Ain’t no telling how long he’s been walking around HIV positive, spreading that shit to all those dudes he was fucking around with,” Dawn interrupted.
“That’s so true. I hate to even think or imagine the magnitude of his recklessness.
I hope he kept it real with all of his sex partners so that they all can get tested and tell all of their other sex partners to do the same.
Can you imagine?” I asked, shaking my head as Dawn gave me a look of disgust. “You know he only messes around with men on the DL, let him tell it.”
“Straight facts, with his sick ass! I don’t want to imagine that shit. So, what did Justin’s disrespectful, nasty ass have to say?” Dawn probed for more information.
“He ended up getting tested while he was in the hospital recovering from his hip surgery. His results came back positive for the virus. He has been calling me damn near daily crying me a river about his indiscretions. He and Tate are no longer talking from what he told me. Tate’s test came back negative, but at the same time, he’s pissed about the whole situation, especially having to get tested in the first place.
And I get it, I totally understand exactly how he feels. ”
“My goodness! It’s a HIV pandemic with them fools. You let your doctor know about his results, right?”
“I did and since my results were negative, we discussed how to move forward with future tests that I will have to get.”
“Thank God for that! It would have been really jacked up if you had tested positive.”
“Tell me about it. I probably would’ve gone on a killing spree had that happened.
According to my doctor though, I’m not completely out of the woods just yet.
Even though my results were negative, my doctor said that I should get tested at least four times a year or every three months.
That’s just to be cautious because I most definitely don’t want to be walking with that shit and not know like Shane was. ”
“No bullshit!” Dawn agreed.
“So, I get why Tate is upset even though he tested negative as well. Hell, HIV is something you don’t really think about until it hits you or someone close to you.
This was a little too close to home for me and it has definitely been an eye opener if nothing else.
I keep thinking that although my first set of results were negative, what if I’m that small percentage of people who end up testing positive later on down the line. ”
“Why on earth would that happen if your results came back negative?”
“Welp, it can be too early to detect… who knows?” I explained.
“I think you gon’ be just fine. Just try to think positive and don’t put that into the universe.
All that hanging out Justin was doing just may end up being a blessing for you ‘cause had he been up under you, or you up under him who knows what could have happened. You may not have been so lucky being that the two of you stayed fucking on each other.”
“How so? Justin and I were still very sexually active, even though he was always kicking it somewhere else. Not until I found the condom in his pocket did sex between us slow down.”
“Right! So, he must have contracted the virus during that time which would be your blessing. That also means there is a higher chance you won’t test positive down the line. Well, let’s hope that’s the case. I think that you’ll be straight. I’m just glad that you left when you did.”
“That’s true, but it’s different when you’re going through it than to be on the sidelines, D.
You don’t have to live with this hanging over your head, I do.
It’s something that I constantly think about.
It sucks because the whole time Justin was being selfish only thinking about himself.
He put not just his life at risk but mine and Tate’s too.
That’s something that you can’t get over just like that, you know?
That was some very scary shit to go through, especially being that Justin and I are married. I trusted him.”
“In this day and age, that’s some shit that should be hanging over any sexually active person’s head.
Any time you lay it low and spread it wide for a man you subject yourself to STD’s and HIV.
What blows my mind is that Shane was out in these streets getting it on with a bunch of randoms without protecting himself. Like, who the fuck does that shit!”
“That’s so true. I never thought about it like that until now.
What Shane had going on I never thought that it would affect me in any way.
As for Justin, I just suspected that it was another woman he was cheating on me with.
I never suspected that Justin was on the DL, and I never thought that I needed to worry about being exposed to a terminal illness.
I used to get sick to my stomach just thinking about him being intimate with some female.
I was afraid that he would catch feelings for her and leave me.
That’s what I was most concerned about, but boy was I off.
To say that I have learned a lesson from all of this would be an understatement. ”
“The Lord is on your side obviously. Watch, you’ll always have a negative result, sis. That is just too damn much going on for me!” Dawn sighed then continued. “See, that’s the reason why I’m single now. I ain’t got time for the bullshit! Murder would be the case that they’d give me, no lie.”
“Don’t start.”
“I’m very serious. The first sign that shit is off with a dude I’m out.
I ain’t got the time at all. I sure hope you learned a valuable lesson from all of this though, because sometimes you can be a little too forgiving when you need to follow your heart more.
A woman’s intuition is ALWAYS right, my love. ”
“You are right about that! I remember Mom always used to say that. I’m not as hardcore with it like you are, but I definitely learned a lesson for sure.”
“Good, ‘cause chile you had me out in these streets fighting and carrying on. That was just too much!” Dawn complained then started laughing.
“Oh, wow! Says the one that stays ready to throw down all the time. That was all you!” I rebutted chuckling.
“I wouldn’t have had to act up if it wasn’t for your crazy ass ex and friend.”
“Not all men are down low liars like Justin or backstabbing assess like Shane.”
“Shit, that’s a lie. Not all men are on the down low… but they all are liars!” Dawn corrected.
“That’s not fair to say.”
“It may not be fair, but it’s damn sure true!”
“See, that’s why you’re not open to dating. You walk into every situation like the other is always lying. You gotta chill a little bit and let people show you who they really are before you judge them off the cuff like that.”
“You think so, huh? We both see how that worked out for you, right?” Dawn countered and all I could do was roll my eyes.
“I’m not trying to be mean, but you’ll see.
All men will lie off the cuff about anything from the smallest shit to the most important stuff.
I don’t get it, but that’s just how it is. ”
“That’s definitely true with Justin. All the signs were there even before he and I got married. But I had on a pair of rose-colored glasses and didn’t see them.”
“More like a pair of blinders on,” Dawn corrected causing me to roll my eyes again, but we ended up laughing because it was true and funny at the same time.
“I will say that I am still open to love since I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. That’s something I can’t help. But,” I emphasized then continued, “I’ll no longer ignore the signs when things are off. I know to some degree you gotta be lonely or yearn to be in love, D.”
“Nah, that’s your story, not mine. I’m cool with being single.”
“If you say so. I saw how you and Troy been looking at each other. It’s clear y’all like what y’all see. Do you want me to talk to Kevin and have him hook you up with his cousin? You never know, y’all might really hit it off.”