Chapter 35 Ava #2
“Oh, stop that!” Kevin softly demanded. “You are not a mess. You’re just a woman that fell in love with a selfish, gay man.
You shouldn’t question anything about yourself ‘cause from where I’m sitting, you’re damn near perfect to me.
Any real man, emphasis on REAL, would be blessed to have a woman like you. ”
“That was really sweet of you to say.” I smiled at him, and he winked his eye in response. “You can’t truthfully say that I’m not lacking if you and I have never been intimate.”
“So, that is what this is about? You’re afraid to go there with me because you think I’m not going to enjoy it?”
“I mean, kinda,” I agreed. “I don’t want to get fully invested in you then have you turn around and hurt me.”
“It’s not fair for you to judge me based off of what the last nigga did to you.
I get you need time to move on from it all, but I’m nothing like that dude.
Nothing at all like his ass! For one, you don’t have to be afraid to be intimate with me because it’s not about you satisfying me, it’s about me making sure you’re satisfied.
As long as I know that I can make you cream and keep you happy, that’s enough for me.
As far as you investing yourself in a relationship with me, risking getting hurt, I can say the same.
That’s a chance everyone takes when they get into a relationship, but I’m not here to hurt you, Ava, and I don’t think you’re here to hurt me, right? ”
“True. I get what you’re saying. It’s only fair. It’s just something that I now have embedded in the back of my mind.”
“What do you need from me other than patience, honesty, and time to help you not feel that way toward me?”
I felt put on the spot, but at the same time, I was glad that we were having this conversation.
I didn’t want him to feel like I was leading him on to let him down because I wasn’t ready to go to the next level with him just yet.
Lord only knew I wanted to go there. I just couldn’t shake how I was feeling about it.
“I don’t know. I’ve just been taking things one day at a time.”
“You sure there is nothing else I can do to help make you feel more comfortable?”
“How do you feel about getting tested for HIV?”
“Okay, so you want me to go get tested?”
“Would you have a problem with that?” I asked.
I hoped he didn’t because if he did, I knew for sure we would never be able to have sex.
“I just can’t take another risk like that with my body ever again.
I’ve been tested obviously, so if you get tested, I feel like we both would have a clean slate. That way no surprises will pop up.”
Sitting his wine glass on the table then placing his hand on my knee, his face softened.
“If you want me to go get tested, I’ll go get tested first thing in the morning.
Ain’t no shame in my game. I have nothing to hide.
I get why you’re being so cautious. Hell, I don’t blame you because if the shoe were on the other foot, I would be that way, too.
Me getting tested really isn’t that big of a deal.
Is there anything else you want me to do? ”
“No, there’s nothing else. But tomorrow’s Saturday, so where would you go to get tested at?”
“My doctor’s office, silly. I’d go now if they were open,” he joked. “Hold up.” He pulled his phone out then looked up something.
“Your doctor’s office is open on Saturdays?” I asked because that was unusual.
“Yeah, just until noon for walk-ins,” he replied. “Where’s the nearest Walgreens? I’ll go and buy one of those home testing kits right now.”
“You don’t have to go and do that right now, silly.” I giggled. “There’s really no rush, plus it’s late.”
“To me there is,” Kevin responded. “Not because I want to have sex right now. I’ll wait if that is what you want to do.
But I’ll go and take the home test now, so you’ll know that I’m serious about you.
The sooner you know my status, the more comfortable you’ll be.
I promise you won’t have to worry about me cheating.
I’ve done my share of dating multiple women in my younger years, all of that shit is out of my system now.
Hence the fact that I have been single for quite some time. ”
“So, you were a playa-playa, huh?”
“I can’t lie, I was. I went through a phase where I stayed horny and being with just one woman wasn’t enough for me. I’m man enough to admit that. I’ve been out of that phase for quite some time now. I’ve been there and done that, it isn’t thrilling to me anymore.”
“That’s good to know.” I chuckled. I appreciated how candid and open he was being with me.
“Where’s the nearest twenty-four--hour Walgreens?”
“It’s almost ten, you don’t have to go tonight.” I laughed.
Searching in his phone, he found the nearest Walgreens which just so happened to be around the corner. “You ridin’ with me or what?”
“I’m not dressed to go out.”
“You look fine to me with yo sexy self. You can wait in the car if you don’t want to go inside with me.”
“Okay, come on. But you really don’t have to go now.”
“It’s all good. Stop saying that. I told you, I’ma do whatever I need to show you I’m not gon’ do you wrong. If me taking a HIV test will help you feel comfortable’ then that’s what I’ma do.”
I was shocked that he was open to getting tested and anxious about it as well.
I found it funny that he insisted on going tonight.
Since it was a Friday night and neither one of us had to be up for work the next morning, I figured it was okay to be out late.
We left out of the house, got in his truck, then headed for Walgreens.
When we got there, he parked by the front door then ran inside while I waited in the car.
As I waited for him to come out, I saw Shane’s cousin, Pedro leaving out of Walgreens.
I had to do a double take because I hadn’t seen him for quite some time.
When he looked up, I knew he saw me by the look and half smile that he gave.
I had met him as well as most of Shane’s family that lived in the area over the years that he and I were friends.
Being that he saw me, I knew I had to speak.
“Hey, Pedro,” I greeted as I rolled down the car window. “How have you been? Long time no see.”
The look on his face made me feel uncomfortable. “Ah, hey Ava,” he dryly said.
I wondered why he was acting like that towards me. Even though he and I weren’t the best of friends, I didn’t do anything to him for him to treat me like this. The only thing I could think was that Shane must have told him he was sick or that he knew Shane and I were no longer friends.
“Nice seeing you,” I responded.
He walked up to the passenger’s side and what was said next almost knocked the wind out of me. “I’m surprised I didn’t see you earlier.”
“Surprised you didn’t see me? See me where?” I asked, confused.
“Well, being that you and my cousin were such good friends, I kinda figured you’d show up,” Pedro responded as I looked at him, confusion was clearly evident on my face, I was sure. I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, and I guess my expression told him so. “You don’t know, do you?”
“What are you talking about? What don’t I know?” I asked.
“Well, I’m sorry to break this to you, but Shane’s funeral was this morning.”
“Huh? I’m sorry… Shane’s what?” I asked, not sure if I heard him correctly.
Getting out of the truck, I walked up to him, and he gave me a big hug. I wasn’t ready for that. I totally didn’t expect for Pedro to say that. Shane had just texted me a few days ago, and although I knew about him having HIV, I had no clue that he was that sick.
“Shane’s funeral was this morning. Everyone was looking for you. Now I know why you didn’t come… you didn’t know.”
“I had no idea! When did he… what happened?” I asked. I didn’t want to make Pedro uncomfortable questioning him. I was just shocked and really didn’t know what to say.
“We’re not sure what happened, but he was killed a few days ago.”
“Oh my God!” I gasped.
“We don’t know who did it. We think it was someone he may have known.
It happened at his house. There was no sign of forced entry, and according to the family that lives across the street they think he knew the person.
They said they’d seen the guy at his house so many times that they could point him out in a crowd.
They just don’t know who he is to give any more details to the police.
When I went with the family to Shane’s house after it happened, they came over and told us what they witnessed. ”
“Wow! I’m totally speechless, Pedro.”
“We are, too. I still can’t believe it.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what did they say they witnessed? If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand. I’m just in a state of shock, is all.”
“Oh no, you’re fine. I know how close you and my cousin were, so it’s cool.
I get why you’d want to know because that’s how I was feeling about it also,” he admitted.
“They basically told us that they heard a lot of yelling and screaming. The noise sounded like some serious fighting was going on. You know Shane was loud and obnoxious sometimes, so they thought it was a wild party or something going on at first. When they realized that he was being attacked because they said when the dude was beating on Shane, they could hear the hits one by one, so they called the police.”
“My goodness,” I muttered.