Chapter 53
J A N E
I ’m so lost when I crack open crusty eyelids.
I first note the dryness of the bed I lie in, compared to the rains. Did I… did I dream everything? I clearly cannot be dead, for my body aches far too much. It’s as if I got trampled on by a hundred horse hooves.
My neck is stiff as I barely move my head, staring out a window for a very long time, mindlessly watching a puffy cloud. Peaceful, golden rays beam through, my eyes moving to watch the floating particles in the air. My mind is absolutely blank, as if I know this is the dream, and I don’t want to awaken.
Inhaling deeply, I whimper and lift my hand as if to touch my chest, but even that hurts. Breathing is also surprisingly painful, like each breath is dragging broken glass inside of my chest.
My lungs .
The ship.
My heart rate increases as I swiftly examine the small room I’m in—all of my concerns disappear when I spot Soren in the corner. He has a blackened eye, a new, deep cut on his lower lip and jaw, and bandages cross over his body underneath his loose tunic. His dark, grimy hair is pulled back.
His legs are spread as he sleeps, a hand on either armrest while his head leans against the wall behind him.
I’m too afraid to move—what if that breaks this dream? I nearly start to cry at the idea that I’m actually dead; does that mean he’s dead, too?
His eyes suddenly shoot open, revealing the crystal clarity as he blinks and lowers his gaze to me, not moving anything else. He blinks multiple more times before recognition comes to his eyes, one of them bloodshot, and he leans forward while trying to cover a painful grimace. “ Jane ,” he says with that gravelly voice I love.
I can’t help myself.
I crumble.
Tears flow, which morph into crying from pain as my chest burns . Soren comes forward, pulling me into his thick, strong arms. I start clinging to him out of pure joy, laughing and crying more.
Sometimes, I shudder and groan from how much it all aches and burns.
He holds me so tenderly I could melt, like I’m being embraced by love incarnate. “Careful. Your lung took a lot of damage. Some might be permanent. The sirens healed what they could, and there’s no other healer on board.”
“I’m so sorry about Anya,” is the first thing I say. I pull back, prodding at my neck. “Her necklace.”
“It’s safe. It was around your neck, and one of the sirens took it off. I found it in a bag they gave me.” He pulls me back in and gently kisses my head. “You’re safe, Jane?—”
“You came for me.”
This man is now lodged so deeply within my heart, I don’t ever want to know a world where he doesn’t exist. There’s something that burns between us that’s brighter than anything I can explain, this love and gratitude so vast I nearly want to burst.
“Of course, I did,” he answers.
For a while, we just sit there like this, leaning my full weight against him as I learn the rhythm of his beating heart. The faint thudding means I’m utterly safe. It’s the sound of home .
“The others? What happened to everyone? My dad?” I ask when I realize they must have been there, too. “The other Cinders…”
“Only two Cinders died, but everyone else is live. Blackwell’s soul was ripped apart; your father captured Jesper and I ensured the sirens took him. Tempest is alive, although her ship is now with the ocean. The hull broke at the bottom when colliding with Darkwater.”
I pull back to look up at his face, at the bruising on his temple. I reach up to heal it even if it hurts like a bitch to raise my arm, noticing there’s a large, scabbed wound below his ear.
Soren’s hand engulfs my wrist and to bring it back down, almost in a scolding manner. “Your body needs to heal. If there’s anything to tend to, it will be yourself.”
I smile, fucking missing this man. “Back to the orders?”
“I have no problem asserting that your health is above the rest.”
“There really isn’t another healer?”
“No. She was taken under, and when the sirens got to her, she was already gone.”
“I feel okay,” I say, trying to hide a groan. “As in, I’m alive. I’ll make it to wherever we’re going, and I can be healed there. Others might need my help.”
He pulls back and touches my chest with calloused hands that I’m so glad to feel against my skin again. “The sirens said their magic requires you to sit still.” He looks me in the eye, the pale blue encased within dark lashes. “I’ll tie you down in here if I have to. I already have the rope ready. I knew you might fight me.”
My laugh turns into a coughing groan. “Are you in here to ensure that happens?”
He gives a faint, crooked grin, the stubble around his mouth deepening where his skin indents. “Yes.” He looks over my face, the room so quiet I can hear the smallest sound of every breath he takes. It’s a mundane detail that brings me more relief than can I interpret. “Did you really think of me when in that stairwell?” he asks.
The moment crashes back into my mind like the waves Misery forced me to suffer through. “I thought of the nights when we’d lie together, when nothing else mattered,” I answer through a voice that involuntarily grows shakier, tears blurring my vision; it’s as if I fully realize I nearly died. “It was nice not to feel alone. And you brought me so much comfort.”
Something deep and sentimental overtakes a face that’s primarily unbending, his eyes perhaps wetter than usual before he pulls my forehead to his lips. I breathe him in, the traces of his unique scent covering up the rawness of my trauma.
“Sleep, my love,” he says against my skin. “You need sleep.”