Chapter Nineteen #2
They drove in silence for a while, Delphine chewing on a fingernail. The nails on her other hand were bitten to the quick, Juliette noticed. This lift had been a mistake: maybe she deserved to be called out.
At last the bleak grey facade of the hospital loomed up in the distance. ‘Just drop me anywhere here,’ Delphine said. ‘Parking closer’s a nightmare.’
Yet after they’d pulled into a space and she’d unclipped her safety belt, she made no move to get out of the car but sat there, gazing ahead.
‘Do you want me to come in with you?’ Juliette asked eventually.
‘Absolutely not,’ Delphine replied, rousing herself. ‘I’ll be all right once I’m inside. Thanks for the lift.’
‘Text me once you’re finished and I’ll pick you up,’ Juliette said.
Delphine shrugged. ‘All right, then – if you insist. It usually takes a couple of hours.’ And that response was unexpected.
Juliette watched her walk away, hoisting the bag over her arm.
She wasn’t sure what to think: if Delphine were acting, she was very convincing, but might she just be in a bad mood because Nico hadn’t arrived?
She hadn’t even asked how he was, incidentally.
In any event, Juliette decided to park up for a while and see if there were any unexpected developments.
Half an hour later, she was listening to a podcast and gazing idly out of the window when she spotted a familiar figure emerging from the hospital.
Delphine fumbled in her bag as people parted and flowed around her.
Jamming on her sunglasses, she looked vaguely around before walking down the steps and making her way to a bench beside the bus stop, where she sat and took out her phone.
Juliette’s blood quickened. Before she could lose her nerve, she got out of the car to confront her.
‘So, was there some kind of problem with your treatment?’ she asked, once she’d reached the bench.
Delphine looked up. ‘Oh, you’re still here,’ she said, in a flat voice. ‘Yeah, my blood count’s too low for chemo this time. I was going to call a taxi – thought you’d only just have got home.’
The wind went out of Juliette’s sails. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, sitting on the bench next to Delphine, who shifted imperceptibly away.
‘It’s not the best news.’ Delphine took off her sunglasses to wipe her eyes, and Juliette noticed the beads of sweat on her forehead, the thickness of her foundation and smudged mascara. She looked crushed.
‘Can I buy you a coffee somewhere?’ she asked.
‘No, thanks.’ Delphine jammed her sunglasses back on. ‘To be honest, I just want to get home. Thanks for sticking around.’ And Juliette felt even more of a fraud.
They drove back to the apartment in silence. ‘Let me come inside with you,’ Juliette said, as they drew up outside. ‘I could fix something to eat while you put your feet up. Scrambled eggs, maybe? That was all Lindsay fancied when she was having chemo.’
‘The famous Lindsay.’ Delphine gave a wry smile. ‘OK, I’m feeling a little unsteady. Could you come upstairs with me? I don’t need anything to eat, though.’
‘Sure.’ Juliette offered Delphine her arm as she climbed laboriously out of the car; to her surprise, Delphine took it and held on as they entered the building. She passed Juliette her door keys and leaned against the wall as they waited for the elevator to arrive.
Inside, the apartment was exactly as Juliette would have imagined: all hard edges and shiny surfaces.
It was immaculately tidy, apart from a file spilling papers on the counter top.
Delphine flopped down on the black leather sofa, took off the sunglasses and closed her eyes.
‘Could you make me a peppermint tea?’ she asked Juliette.
‘You should be able to find your way around the kitchen.’
Delphine’s kitchen was infamous: Nico had installed it, which had apparently been a traumatic experience for all concerned, and it was as minimal and soulless as an operating theatre.
Juliette took some time working out how to open the cupboards, which had no obvious handles, and then how to operate the boiling water tap, but she managed in the end.
As she waited for the tea to brew, she snuck a look inside the fridge: a vial of eyedrops, half a bottle of vodka, three limes, the remains of a Chinese takeaway and a cucumber.
She didn’t want to pry any further but the heading on a letter from the file on the counter caught her eye; it was from the appointments department of the hospital they’d just visited.
If Delphine had invented her cancer, she deserved a prize for authenticity.
‘Here you are.’ Juliette put the steaming mug on the coffee table. ‘You’d better let it cool for a while.’
‘Thanks.’ Delphine opened one eye and then shut it again.
‘Would you let me do some shopping for you?’ Juliette asked tentatively.
‘Ugh, no,’ Delphine replied, her eyes still closed. ‘I know your type. Once I let you into one corner of my life, you’ll take over. You’ll be calling me every day and signing me up for yoga classes, sending me little treats and asking how I am in a voice you keep for the sick and needy.’
Juliette smiled. ‘I can promise you, I won’t do any of those things. I just wanted to make your life easier.’
Delphine reached for the tea and cupped her hands around the mug. ‘And why would you choose to do that?’
‘Because I know what it’s like to feel completely alone, in the middle of a situation that seems overwhelming.’
‘Oh, you do, do you?’ Delphine regarded her sceptically.
‘It’s not exactly the same, of course,’ Juliette said, ‘but when I discovered my husband had been having an affair for years and realised I didn’t want to be with him anymore, it felt as though I was drowning.
I couldn’t bear to go back to America, yet I had no idea whether I could make a life for myself here either.
It was Arnaud and Thérèse who rescued me, though they probably thought nothing of it at the time. ’
Brief chats and then an invitation to supper: such small gestures that had meant so much. She remembered a saying she’d once heard: ‘Only in our weakness are we kind.’ That might be true, but when you were strong again, you would always remember how kindness felt.
‘And Arnaud introduced you to Nico, who you stole from me,’ Delphine said, sipping her tea. ‘So that didn’t work out too badly for you, did it?’
‘Come on, that’s not fair,’ Juliette protested. ‘You and Nico had broken up well before we got together.’
Delphine put down the mug and sat back, closing her eyes again. ‘Our relationship was too passionate to last,’ she said dreamily. ‘We consumed each other. I suppose he wants someone to look after him now he’s getting older.’
Dear Lord, she could be irritating. Juliette reminded herself how miserable Nico had seemed in the dying days of his affair with Delphine, how vicious had been the arguments she’d overheard.
‘Look, think of this as me discharging my debt to Thérèse and Arnaud,’ she said. ‘And then when you’re back on your feet, you can pay it forward by helping someone else.’
Delphine groaned. ‘Trapped in a hellish circle of do-gooding.’
‘I’ve said my piece.’ Juliette reached for her purse. ‘But you need to rest and look after yourself to be well enough for chemo next time. And I should warn you, I’ll be away in Provence for most of next month and Nico won’t be around much either, so you might have to make other arrangements.’
‘An ao?tienne,’ Delphine muttered. ‘I might have guessed.’ She stood. ‘All right, then. If you put it like that, there are a few things you could pick up for me. I’ll make a list and give you my credit card.’
When Juliette returned to the apartment a couple of hours later, Nico was up and dressed, looking wan but drinking a glass of water. She went in for a hug and laid her head on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.
‘Dare I ask how it went?’ he said eventually, drawing back to look at her.
She laughed. ‘Oh, it was OK in the end. I’m afraid she wasn’t well enough for chemo but I did some shopping for her and ordered a few things online that she might find useful.
’ Delphine’s list had been extremely precise, necessitating trips to specific shops some distance apart.
‘She’s going to let Thérèse and me take her to appointments sometimes too,’ Juliette added, ‘so that it isn’t always down to you. ’
Nico smoothed a strand of hair away from her face. ‘You’re an incredible woman. I owe you.’
‘Actually, there is something you could do for me in return,’ she said.
‘Anything – just name it.’
‘Give Marc a call.’ She’d been thinking the matter over while driving home. ‘Don’t let him go back to Miami with so much unsettled business between you. At the very least, you should find out whether he’s OK – he ate the paté, too, remember.’
Nico groaned. ‘Really? You’ve seen what he’s like.’
‘He’s the only brother you have,’ Juliette said. ‘Your father won’t live for ever and then it’ll be just the two of you. Why don’t you at least have it out with him? Ask him why he has to needle everyone and tell him how he makes you feel.’
‘And you think he’s going to open up?’ Nico shook his head. ‘It’s so long since Marc had an honest conversation, he’s forgotten how.’
‘It’s worth a try,’ Juliette said. ‘Anything would be better than what you have now: so much anger bubbling away under the veneer of small talk.’
Nico didn’t speak for a while. ‘All right,’ he said eventually, ‘I will. But only because I love you. And don’t hold out hope for any great reconciliation, OK?’
‘Deal.’ Juliette hugged him again, hiding her face so he couldn’t see her smile.