7. Alex
Chapter seven
Alex
K eeping my hands in my pockets instead of grabbing Fiona like I want to, is harder than I thought it would be. I take her in. She doesn’t look well. Her clothes are baggy and hanging off her, telling me she’s lost weight. Her skin looks paler than the last time I saw her, and there are deep dark circles under her eyes. It’s obvious that something is going on with her, and I need to know what. But whatever it is, I want her to tell me in her own time. I don’t want to push her too hard.
I stay right where I stand in the corner of the kitchen, but I need to make my presence known to Fiona. When I clear my throat, her eyes connect with mine instantly, and I slightly jerk as if I’ve been struck by lightning. I watch Hazel as she walks over to Fiona, placing her hand on her shoulder. They look at each other and seem to have some type of silent conversation. When she nods, Fiona swings her gaze over to me. “Can we talk? I have something I need to tell you.”
A knot forms in my throat and nod. What does she want to talk about? She says nothing else. She just turns and leaves, heading to the living room. I follow her, and sit down on the couch. So many thoughts run through my head as Fiona paces back and forth, hypnotizing me. What could she want to tell me?
Shit, I forgot how beautiful she is. Her dark hair is up in a messy bun instead of down. Even in baggy clothes that are hanging off of her, she’s the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever seen. Maybe she’s been feeling this void in her chest like I have. I don’t know how many times I’ve thought about contacting her. But the fear of commitment and her judgment has kept me from going after what I want. Just like everything else, there’s always something that holds me back.
“Alex, I’m just going to come out and say this.” She pauses and wrings her hands together. Whatever this is must be big. She stays silent for a few moments, but I can see the wheels in her head turning.
“I was at the hospital today because I fainted, and they told me…” She trails off as she stares into the space behind me. My thoughts run rampant. Why would she have fainted? What tests did they run? And how does this all have to do with me? Softly encouraging her to continue I ask, “Are you okay?”
At first, she says nothing. She just stares out the window. “I’m pregnant.”
I stand and ask the first thought that springs to my mind, “Are you sure, Fiona? I clearly remember you saying you were on birth control.”
Placing her hands on her hips, she glares at me. “Yes, asshole, weren’t you listening? I just came back from the doctors. I assume they know what they’re talking about.”
The moment that she confirms it, I can hear a ringing sound in my ears as my vision starts to blur. My body sways when my entire world tilts.
“Alex,” my brother calls my name in a sharp tone, and I can hear someone in the background sobbing.
Opening my eyes, I stare at the ceiling of my brother’s house. How did that happen? Wasn’t I just standing?
“What happened?” Dexter’s voice demands from whoever else he is in the room.
“I’m not sure. I told him I was pregnant, and then he passed out,” a voice that sounds like Fiona’s sobs out.
The moment before I fainted rushes back to me. Shit, that’s right, I’m going to be a dad. “I’m fine,” I croak out as I push myself off the ground.
As soon as I sit up, Fiona rushes to my side, giving me a good look at her tear-stained face. My hand instantly cups her cheek, wiping the tears away. “Why are you crying, love?”
“I’m scared.” But I’m not sure if she means she is scared to have the baby or if she’s scared because I passed out. Either is certainly valid.
I’m scared as fuck to become a dad, which is possibly why I fainted. My dad was barely around; my older brother was more of a dad to me. As I look into her eyes, I can see she needs me to reassure her, to let her know she’s not in this alone.
“I’m scared, too, love. But we’ll figure this out.” Needing to feel her against me, I grab the back of her neck and pull her into me, then crash my lips to hers. Her body melts into mine. I’ve been wanting to do this since she walked into the house. Who am I kidding? I’ve wanted to know what it felt like to feel her lips against mine again since she left me that night.
Fiona pulls back from me, breathing hard, looking deep into my eyes, and suddenly, I can see my future, or our future together. Fiona by my side, a family with two kids living in the same neighborhood as my brothers. I’m unable to move a muscle or say anything; it felt as if I am in a trance, and she is the witch who put me under her spell. Her next words are like a bucket of ice.
“Alex, I think we should be just friends, and that’s it. I don’t want to confuse things more than they already are. Don’t you think?”
No, I don’t fucking agree with that. Every bone in my body revolts against that idea. But it’s obvious that coming on too strong is not the way to go.
I want her in my bed.
I want her by my side.
I want her to be my wife.
Doing the only thing any man in my position would do, I come up with a plan to prove to her she belongs with me. I nod my head. “Okay, Fiona, I can do that. But we should probably talk about how we’re going to do this.”
She lets out a huge breath of relief, causing me to furrow my brows. She notices my confusion. “I wasn’t sure how you were going to take this? My parents didn’t react well.”
“How did they react?”
“They kicked me out of their house.”
Jumping to my feet, I yell, “They what? How could they kick out a pregnant woman?”
She stands up and shakes her head. “It’s okay. Hazel said I could stay with her and Dexter. Which is perfect since I’ll be so close to you.”
“No.” The mother of my child will not be staying with my brother and his wife. She might not realize it yet, but she’s moving in with me. I’m still shocked her parents would kick her out when she found out she was pregnant, but maybe this will help move my plan along.
“What do you mean, no? You don’t have a say, Alex.”
“You’ll stay with me.” I ignore her comment.
She shakes her head, trembling. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Grabbing her shoulders, I put myself at eye level so she can see how serious I am. “It’s the perfect idea. We have to figure out how to parent together. Why not start now? Besides, I want to be there for you every step of the way.”
“Alex, it will make things even more complicated.”
“Fiona, things are already complicated. You don’t even have to share a room with me. I have extras.” I give her a wink, trying to get her to smile and ease the tension within her. When I see her lips twitch, I know I’ve won the battle.
“Fine. I’ll stay with you.” Her shoulders straighten a bit when her tone drops. “But I’m staying in my own room. Do you hear me, Alex?”
Grinning at her, I nod my head. “Yes, I hear you, love. Now, why don’t we go get you settled for the night?”
“I don’t have any of my stuff yet.”
“No worries. I’m sure you can borrow a few things from Hazel until we can get your stuff.”
Suddenly Hazel pipes up, “Yes, I have a few things you can use for now. Give me two seconds.” She then disappears down the hallway.
While we wait for Hazel to return, Fiona extends her hand out, and grabs mine. “Thanks Alex. I mean it. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, and this is the best outcome I’ve could’ve hoped for.”
“I’ve got you, love. You and our baby will always have me.”
“I hope you’re right.”
What she will come to find out is that no matter what happens between us, my child will always be my priority. I know what it feels like to grow up without a dad and I won’t repeat the cycle.