9. Alex
Chapter nine
Alex
T he drive to the doctor’s office is silent; we’re both in our own heads. Trying to figure out where we go from here. We arrive ten minutes before the appointment, and my heart is pounding hard against my chest. All I ask for is that Fiona can’t hear it. I keep my face as neutral as possible; I don’t want Fiona to know how nervous Iam. Holding my hand, she leads me into the waiting room. We continue to sit in silence as we wait for the doctor.
Since the moment she told me she was pregnant with my child, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. I was just the guy who had fun, not boyfriend material. Never wanting to be chained to one person. Seeing how my dad disappeared and became a whole different person when my mom died, I never wanted to feel that.
The night I spent with Fiona was the first time I ever even had the feeling of wanting to be with someone more than once. The pull I felt to her was strong, but I was still not sure I wanted to pursue it. When she left me, the feeling of disappointment hit me hard. But I still needed to come to terms with dating her and what that might mean.
Now I’m going to be a father. She’s going to be the mother of my child. My gaze goes straight to her stomach. It’s still hard to fathom that she’s growing a child in there. Not just any child either mine. My hands sweat with the knowledge of how much responsibility rests on my shoulders now. I pull at the collar of my shirt, and the world around me fades away. I’m only able to focus on the fact that I’m going to be a dad, and there is a high probability that I’m going to fuck this up. Suddenly, it feels as if the walls of this waiting room are closing in on me. What the hell am I doing? Can I really do this?
“Alex?” A soft voice draws me out of my panic. When I look up toward the voice, my eyes connect with Fiona’s cocoa brown ones, and everything seems to slip back into place. The panic I seemed to have been drowning in, recedes. She is my lifeline. I suspected I wouldn’t be able to let her go when she waltzed back into my life, but now I know. Making everything right with Fiona is going to be the only way I’ll make it through. Her eyes soften as I stare at her. “Are you okay?”
My hand reaches out for her, and she comes willingly. “I am now.” Her eyebrows draw in and I can tell she has many questions she wants to ask me, but I’m not quite ready to explain to her what is going on. Thankfully, I don’t have to when a nurse calls out, “Fiona?”
Fiona answers the nurse as she stands up, pulling me along with her, hopefully forgetting my freakout incident. “Here.”
We follow the nurse into an even smaller room, where she turns to Fiona. “Mom, you’ll need to strip from the waist down and then climb up on the table there. Here’s a sheet to cover yourself for modesty. Dad, you can sit in the chair next to the table. The doctor will be in shortly.”
She then leaves us standing there dumfounded as we stare at the door, hoping that this might all be a big joke. Fiona shakes out of it faster than me. She turns to me. “Do you mind?”
“Do I mind, what?”
“I have to get naked,” she whisper yells as she narrows her eyes at me.
A smirk crosses my mouth when I realize she’s being shy. After everything we’ve been through the last day or so, this is what she is worried about? “Love, I’ve had my mouth on every inch of your body. I think I can watch you take your pants off.”
She scoffs. “That was different. Alex, please.”
“See, you’re already off to a good start, begging me like the good girl you are.”
Shooting daggers at me, she smacks my chest with the folded paper sheet the nurse gave her. “Stop being cute. And turn around until I tell you, you can turn back around.”
Knowing that the doctor will be in soon, and also not wanting to make things worse for her, I nod and turn around to face the wall. When I hear a commotion behind me, I try to concentrate on the wall in front me of me and not the fact that I would love to see all of her again. After what feels like forever, I’ve never been more thankful when I hear, “Okay, you can turn around.”
When I do, Fiona is sitting on the table wringing her hands together. She’s nervous. Knowing how that feels, I move toward her and place my hand on her thigh, trying to reassure her. “It’s okay, Fiona. I’m nervous, too.”
“You are?”
“Yeah, I’ve been silently freaking out since you told me. But right now, we just need to focus on the baby. We can figure out everything else after this. Okay?”
She nods her head when a knock sounds on the door. It opens and an older gentleman walks into the room with a clipboard and a doctor’s coat on. “Hi, Fiona. I’m Dr. Matthews.
“What can I do for you today?”
“I just found out I am pregnant, and the doctor at the hospital referred me to you.”
“Okay. Do you know how far along you are?”
“No, I didn’t think to ask. But I’ve been sick for about a week now.”
“Let me ask you this: how late is your period?”
Fiona thinks about it for a minute. “It’s about a month late.”
“I’m going to guess you’re about six weeks pregnant, then. But let’s look and listen to the heartbeat and see what we can find out.”
Neither of us responds to the doctor. We just nod as he pulls out this weird-looking dildo wand that he puts a condom on. Staring at it, I can’t help but wonder what the hell that used is for.
Fiona must be thinking the same thing because she blurts out looking nervous, “What is that for?”
“Since you’re not very far along, we need to do an internal ultrasound to see the baby.”
“Is it going to hurt?” she whispers.
“No, it won’t hurt. It’ll be a little uncomfortable, but you’ll forget all about that once we see your baby. Now lean back.”
Fiona complies and lies back on the table. She places her feet into the stirrups to reveal herself to the doctor. A wave of jealousy hits me right in the chest. Why the hell does he get to see her, but she won’t even let me? I’m the fucking father. Taking deep breaths, I try to push back the thoughts of hitting the doctor in the face.
A whooshing noise interrupts my thoughts, and I look up at the screen. When the doctor announces, “See that?” he points to a blinking spot on the screen. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat.”
Fiona looks over at me with glossy eyes that are filled with unshed tears. “Alex, that’s our baby.”
Wrapping my arms around her shoulders, I pull her into my side, kissing the top of her head.
“Yeah, that’s our baby.”
After a few seconds, Dr. Matthews hands us a picture of the tiny baby we saw on the screen. Then finishes telling us what we should expect next, and that the baby is growing well. “Dr. Matthews, I’ve been having a hard time keeping anything down. That’s actually why I ended up in the hospital, because I was so dehydrated from vomiting so much.”
Pulling out his clipboard, he writes something on a pad and tears the piece of paper off. “Here is a prescription for Zofran. Only use it as necessary. Ginger candies will help a lot, too.”
Nodding, I take the paper from the doctor. “Thank you, Dr. Matthews. We’ll get this on our way home.”
“Call the office if you have questions. "Looking straight at Fiona, he gently places his hand on hers, and my jaw tightens. “Try not to stress. I’ll see you in a month.”
Thankfully, he leaves quickly after that, so I don’t have to sock the doctor in his face for seeing my love’s, perfect pussy. I take a deep breath to calm my anger. I’ll need it to figure out how to keep myself calm during these appointments.
Stepping out of the room, I wait in the hallway for Fiona and stare at the picture the doctor gave us of the baby. Right then I vow I’ll do anything for this bean and her mom. Even if that means not punching doctors in the face.