35. Blake
Chapter 35
Blake
I stared at the adoption papers spread across Xander's kitchen table, each blank line waiting for signatures that would change our lives forever. The morning sun slanted through the windows, casting long shadows across the pages that looked so official, so permanent.
My fingers tapped nervously against the wooden tabletop as I glanced at the clock again. Jasper had not only found Madison, but she was on her way here. She’d refused to sign the papers in Paris, saying that she needed to see us first. And I was terrified of what that could really mean.
"She's only five minutes late," Xander said gently, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder as he set a mug of coffee in front of me. "That's barely even late at all."
I wrapped my hands around the mug, grateful for its warmth. "I know. I just can't shake this feeling that something is wrong."
"She’ll be here, she’ll sign the papers, and then we all move on with the lives we’ve been dreaming of."
"You don't know that though," I whispered, not having the capacity to even think about the last part of that sentence.
"I don't," he agreed, dropping into the chair beside me. "But my father seems pretty confident, and he's the one who found her."
I still couldn't believe Xander had swallowed his pride and reached out to his father for help.
After that dinner at Delaney and Trace's, watching him process his father's confession about the affair, I never expected him to be the one to make that call.
But he had, for us. For Amelia.
"What if she changes her mind when she sees Amelia?" I whispered, voicing the fear that had kept me awake most of the night.
"What if she decides she wants her back?"
Xander's hand found mine, steady and warm. "The papers are already drawn up. Your sister agreed to meet us here to sign them. She's not coming to take Amelia away."
"You don't know Madison."
"No, but I know you. And if she's anything like her sister, she keeps her word."
I snorted. "She left her baby on a doorstep, Xander. I don't think 'keeping her word' is high on her list of priorities."
His thumb traced circles on the back of my hand, a soothing gesture that did nothing to calm the storm in my chest. Amelia was in her bouncy chair, babbling away at a plush giraffe, blissfully unaware of how today might reshape her entire future.
And mine.
The sound of tires on gravel jerked me back to the present. My heart leapt into my throat as I rushed to the window, peering out at the unfamiliar car pulling into the driveway. A rental, sleek and anonymous. So like the last time Madison had driven into my life and turned it upside down.
I watched as the driver's side door opened and Madison stepped out, looking even more put-together than the last time I'd seen her.
"She's here," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
Xander stood, his hand finding the small of my back. "Deep breath," he reminded me.
I inhaled shakily, nodding. I could do this. I had to.
The knock at the door was soft, tentative. I moved to answer it while Xander hung back with Amelia, giving me space for this moment with my sister.
When I opened the door, Madison looked different than she had that day on the farm. Her hair was perfectly styled, her makeup flawless, her designer clothes immaculate. But her eyes were red-rimmed like she hadn't slept, and her smile didn't quite reach them.
"Hey," she said softly.
"Hey." I didn't move from the doorway.
We stared at each other for a long, tense moment before she cleared her throat. "Can I... come in?"
I stepped back wordlessly, allowing her to enter the cottage. She moved past me, her expensive perfume lingering in the air like a memory of a life I'd never wanted.
The moment she spotted Amelia, she froze. Something passed over her face—regret, sorrow, yearning—I couldn't quite name it. Then she composed herself, shoulders straightening as she turned to me.
"You look good," she said, as if we were meeting for brunch instead of signing papers that would legally sever her connection to her child.
I ran a hand through my hair self-consciously. "Thanks."
The awkward silence stretched between us, years of separation and hurt forming an invisible wall. Xander cleared his throat and stepped forward. "I'm Xander Farrington, Blake's fiancé." The lie rolled off his tongue so easily now. "It's nice to meet you, Madison."
She shook his hand, her gaze assessing. "You as well."
We moved further into the cottage in silence. None of us seemed to really know what to do in this situation.
"We have some paperwork to take care of?" Madison gestured to the table, all business now.
"Yes." I struggled to keep my voice steady. "But first, I think we need to talk."
Her shoulders tensed. "I'm not sure what there is to discuss. I thought my letter explained everything."
"Your letter explained nothing!" The words burst out of me, louder than I'd intended. Amelia's head turned toward the sound, her eyes wide and curious. I lowered my voice. "You abandoned your baby on my doorstep and disappeared. You don't think that deserves more than a hastily written note?"
Madison sighed, sinking onto the couch. "What do you want me to say, Blake? That I'm a terrible person? That I made a horrible mistake? I know all of that."
"Why?" I demanded, sitting across from her. "Why leave her with me? Why not our parents? They've always been so supportive of you."
A bitter laugh escaped her. "You really think they would have accepted their perfect daughter having a baby out of wedlock? With a man whose name she doesn't even know?"
"They accepted you doing anything else."
"Because I played by their rules!" She pushed a hand through her hair, messing up its perfect style. "I was the good daughter, the one who did everything right. Until I didn't. And trust me, they wouldn't have been nearly as forgiving as you seem to think. You escaped, and you didn’t look back. You have no idea what it was like in that house after."
Xander had moved to stand behind me, one hand resting on my shoulder. I drew strength from his presence as I faced my sister.
"So you dumped your problems on me instead?"
Her face crumpled. "I didn't think of it that way. I thought... I thought you would understand. You were always so strong, so independent. You stood up to them when the rest of us were too afraid. And when I saw how you'd built this life, with these people who love you..." She trailed off, glancing at Xander. "I knew Amelia would be safe with you. Loved."
"You could have asked," I said quietly. "You could have called, or written, or done literally anything other than leaving your baby on a doorstep."
"I know." She looked down at her hands. "I was ashamed. Terrified. I'd spent my whole life being exactly who our parents wanted me to be, and when I finally broke free in Paris, I went a little crazy. The drinking, the parties, the men... it felt like I was making up for lost time. And then I got pregnant, and suddenly everything was crashing down around me."
"So you ran."
She nodded, tears filling her eyes. "I couldn't be a mother, Blake. Not then. Maybe not ever. I looked at her and all I could think was that I would ruin her life the way our parents tried to ruin ours. I couldn't do that to her."
I wanted to stay angry. I wanted to hold onto the righteous indignation that had been fueling me for weeks. But looking at my sister—really looking at her—I saw past the polished exterior to the scared girl underneath. The one who'd grown up in the same house of quiet cruelty that I had, who'd just chosen a different way to survive it.
"Why did you want to do this in person?" I asked, softer this time.
She wiped at her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup. "Because I owe you that much, at least. And because... I needed to see her one more time. To make sure she was okay."
Her gaze drifted to Amelia, who was watching her with curious eyes. Something passed between them, a flicker of recognition that made my chest tighten. Did babies remember their birth mothers? Could Amelia somehow sense who Madison was?
"She's more than okay," Xander said, his voice gentle but firm. "She's thriving. Blake is an incredible mother."
Madison's eyes met mine, and I saw the gratitude there, mingled with deep regret. "I never doubted she would be."
I went to Xander’s side, reaching for Amelia and he passed her into my arms. As I cradled her against my chest the way I'd been doing since the moment Madison had left her in my care, I grasped onto reality and took a moment to calm down. The weight of her, the smell of her baby shampoo, the soft warmth of her little body—it had all become as familiar to me as breathing.
"Would you like to hold her?" I asked, surprising myself with the offer. "Before we sign the papers?"
Madison's lips parted in shock. "Are you sure?"
I wasn't. Every instinct screamed at me to keep Amelia close, to protect what was mine. But Madison wasn't a villain in this story, just a broken person trying to find her way, the same as the rest of us.
"Just for a minute," I said, moving toward her.
She stood there, arms outstretched, trembling slightly, and I passed her the child I knew we both loved.
"She's gotten so big," Madison whispered, staring down at her daughter with wonder and heartbreak in equal measure. "Her eyes are just like yours were. Do you remember how Mom used to say we had the same eyes?"
I did. It was one of the few genuine compliments our mother had ever given me.
Amelia stared at Madison, quiet and contemplative in that weird, wise-baby way she sometimes had. Then her tiny hand reached up, batting at Madison's necklace, a silver pendant that caught the light. Madison laughed, a watery sound, as Amelia grabbed the shiny object.
"She likes sparkly things," I said, feeling a strange need to share this detail. "Delaney's earrings are her favorite toys."
"Smart girl," Madison murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Amelia's forehead. "She knows quality when she sees it."
The moment stretched between us, fragile and precious. Then Amelia began to fuss, squirming in Madison's hold, reaching back toward me. Madison's face fell for just a second before she carefully handed her back.
"She knows who her mom is," she said quietly.
I couldn't argue with that, not when Amelia settled immediately laying her head on my shoulder, her small hand fisting in my shirt like she had a thousand times before.
"The papers are on the table," I said, nodding toward the kitchen. "Our lawyer drew them up. It's a closed adoption, just like you wanted. Once you sign, everything will be finalized within a few weeks."
Madison nodded, her shoulders straightening as she visibly composed herself. "I'll still be her aunt, though, right? Since you're her adoptive mother?"
I hadn't thought of it that way. "I guess so, yeah."
"Good." She smiled, a real one this time. "Maybe someday, when she's older, when I've... figured some things out, I could come visit? Not as her mother,” she added quickly. “Just as her aunt?"
The request caught me off guard. I'd assumed Madison would want a clean break, to move on with her life in Paris without looking back. But maybe she was trying to change, to be better in her own way.
"We'll see," I said, not ready to commit either way. "One step at a time."
She nodded, accepting the non-answer for what it was. "Let's do this, then."
We moved to the table where Xander had laid out the papers. Our lawyer had gone over everything with us beforehand, explaining each section in detail. The adoption would be straightforward since Madison was willingly relinquishing her rights, and I was a biological relative.
Madison picked up the pen, her hand hovering over the signature line. "You'll tell her about me someday, right? Not the bad parts, just... that I existed. That I loved her in my own way, even if I couldn't be what she needed."
I swallowed hard. "I will. I promise."
She nodded once, then signed her name in a flowing script across each marked line. When she was done, she set the pen down with a quiet finality.
"I'm sorry," she said, not looking at me. "For everything. Not just this, but for all of it. For not being there when you needed me. For making you stand up to them alone."
"It's okay," I said, and was surprised to find I meant it. "We all do what we have to do to survive."
She looked up at me then, tears swimming in her eyes. "You always were the strongest of us."
I wasn't so sure about that. Strength came in many forms, and sometimes it took more courage to admit your weaknesses than to pretend you had none.
After she left, with promises to call when she was next in the country, I sank onto the couch, Amelia still in my arms. The enormity of what had just happened washed over me in waves. She was mine now. Not just in my heart, but on paper. Legally. Forever.
Xander sat beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "You okay?"
I leaned into him, drawing strength from his solid presence. "I think so. It's just... a lot."
"She's really gone this time," he said, understanding what I couldn't put into words. "She's not coming back for Amelia."
I nodded, relief and grief tangling inside me. I hadn't realized how much I'd been holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Madison to change her mind and try to take Amelia back. But it was over now. The papers were signed. Amelia was ours. Forever. But what did that mean for me and Xander?