18. Juliet
JULIET
M y body is buzzing, my mind fuzzy from the weed, and I finally feel like I can breathe.
Meeting with Ma-Ri had left a bruise on my heart that I hadn’t expected it to. I’m full of unwanted emotions—anger, betrayal, pain. Yet, I can’t blame her for the choices she made because I don’t know that I would have made different ones.
Why would she choose to protect me over herself, her business, and the dozen or so women she employs?
It wouldn’t be fair.
But life isn’t fair…
I shake my head and try to drive away that lingering thought as I enter Nolan’s bedroom.
My body feels leaden, but my mind is awake—a jumble of thoughts and questions that I can’t seem to stop.
I stop inside the room as a warm body comes in behind me and presses against my back from shoulder to ass.
Nolan’s scent is fresh and clean—had he showered after practice? I didn’t think he showered in public places, but maybe… if the rest of the team had left before him and the guys…
My thoughts drift away again as he cups my hips and his head dips. The smell of my own weed enters my lungs as he strokes his mouth up the column of my throat.
“I won’t ask you any more questions tonight, Princess,” he whispers. “In return, I want you to do something for me.”
“Tit for tat?” I guess, my lips twitching in amusement. Maybe sex will clear out my head and make me stop. Fucking. Thinking. For two seconds. “Are you finally calling that in?”
His chuckle is a low rumble that vibrates against my spine. My nipples pebble into hard little points against my bra and shirt. “You and I both know that nothing will ever be even between us.”
Before I can respond, he flips me around and backs me farther into the darkened room. He doesn’t hit the light switch and for a moment, a bolt of fear strikes through me. Then he tilts my head up and nudges my head to the side and I release a breath.
“Is that… a night-light?” I peer at the illuminating glow from the corner of the room, half hidden by the desk he has stuffed there, but visible nonetheless.
“I don’t want you panicking halfway through me shoving my dick down your throat,” he says.
My hand slaps his chest. “Asshole.”
He backs me up several more steps until the edge of his mattress hits the back of my legs.
I don’t sink down, but instead lift my face up to see his.
It’s outlined in shadows so that the only hints I have are the jut of his chin and nose, the line of his jaw.
His eyes glitter, the color destroyed by the lack of light but the heat no less potent.
“Do you want this tonight, Jules?” he asks. “Do you need me to give you some relief?”
“You’re the one who seems to want relief.” My comment is met with the brush of his groin against my lower belly. Oh yeah, he’s hard. His cock is straining against the front of his pants and pressing against me with insistent demand. I wish he could see the arch of my brow as I look up at him.
Nolan’s hand cups my jaw and then smooths down to my neck. As he closes his fingers around my throat and drags my face closer, I release a breathy gasp.
“No bullshit,” he growls. “Answer me. Are you in or out?”
“For sex?” I hesitate a moment, but only because I worry this might be getting way too deep. The previous sexual encounters I’ve had with these men were all spur-of-the-moment. This… isn’t. Not really. He’s asking and I’m saying… “Yes,” I finally tell him. “I’m in.”
Fuck it all.
Nolan’s mouth slams down on mine in the next instant and his lips push mine apart as his tongue invades. He kisses me like I’m air and he’s a man drifting through space with no other way to breathe. I moan into him, my own hands coming up and gripping him tight around the waistband of his pants.
When the kiss drags on longer and longer, his head turning and tipping and I’m gasping for breath, I let my hands trail up farther.
Over his chest and shoulders and then around his neck.
I press myself fully against him, letting him feel the hard beads of my nipples against his pecs.
My thighs clench and release as wetness seeps from my pussy.
My logical brain is screaming at me that this is such a bad idea and yet, I can’t find it in myself to give a shit. I need this. I need the release and maybe, so does he.
Yanking my head away, I drag in lungfuls of air.
Black and white spots dance before me. I’m trembling so hard it takes me several moments to realize Nolan is already on the move.
His hands are on my shirt, pulling it up and off and tossing it into the waiting darkness.
Then he’s doing the same to himself and I feel hot, hard, male flesh against me.
My bra disappears with ease. Then, both of our pants and underwear are gone as well and we’re standing naked in Nolan’s room, our breaths commingling in the cool air. Goosebumps rise along my arms.
I touch him, spreading my fingers out across the hard planes of his muscles and moving downward. The ridges of his abdomen ripple as he sucks in a breath. I glance up through my lashes, seeing nothing but the shadow of his head turning down to follow my movements.
Can he see me in the dark? I wonder. He seems like he might be able to, head tilted, eyes locked on where my hands drift lower and lower until I cup him in my palm.
“ Shit .” The curse slips from between his teeth and I smile in response, holding him with more firmness. I grip him, circling the heavy width of him with my hand. It still shocks me a bit that I had this monstrous thing inside of me while Gio licked my clit.
“You and your friends didn’t strike me as bisexual,” I murmur as I stroke him once, from base to tip.
“We’re… not…” He doesn’t stop me, but his words are jagged and uneven. “We just don’t give a fuck what we have to do to get what we want.”
“And what do you want now, big man?” I ask, stroking him some more.
Wetness oozes from the tip of his cock and I pause there for a moment, circling the slit of his head with the pad of my thumb. He cants his hips forward, almost like he’s unable to help himself, like he wants to fuck my hand. I lick my lips.
“I want you to get on your knees and suck me, Princess.” Nolan’s response is everything I wanted it to be.
His hands drift up and cup the back of my neck for a moment before he gathers my hair and clutches it in one fist. “I want to feel what you did for Gio in those woods—I want you to swallow me down.”
“You mean what you forced me to do?” This time, I don’t care if he can see my glare. I’m sure he can feel it.
Nolan clicks his tongue. “Please, Princess.” He snorts. “We both know if you really didn’t want it, you would’ve bitten his dick off. Why do you think I let him go first?”
“You are such an?—”
“Asshole,” he says. “I know. Now, are you going to get on your knees for me or not?”
I release his cock. “Maybe I shouldn’t,” I challenge him. “Maybe I should let you suffer.”
Nolan groans. “I can’t tell if you want me to shove you down and face-fuck you because you’re scared to ask for what you want or if you’re really not into this.”
Am I scared? His words make me question myself.
The idea of getting on my knees for Nolan, of taking his cock between my lips and sucking him until he goes wild and crazy and falls apart under my lips and tongue and touch is appealing.
There’s no denying that. It’s a powerful feeling of a man being dependent on you for his pleasure.
I’ve been taught that it’s wrong for girls to want the same, though, for so long that I almost feel like I have to feel somewhat pressured to do it. I want it, but…
“You’ll stop if I tell you to?” I ask.
Nolan goes still and his hand tightens on my hair.
“Yes.” His answer is one word, one syllable, and it’s as serious as a heart attack.
“This is all play for me, Princess. I like the feel of holding you down, of fucking you as you struggle and come apart under me, but I won’t hurt you—I’ll never hurt you.
” He leans forward and the light hits him just enough for me to see the smile on his features. “Not unless you beg me to.”
My heart gallops in my chest, pounding against my rib cage. A moment of silence passes between us and then, slowly, I lower myself down and he backs up. My knees touch on the floor and Nolan’s hand remains wrapped up in my hair as he lifts and holds it out of the way.
The heat of his skin is right in front of me. I reach up and cup him again, gripping him at the base of his still hard cock. The length of him throbs against my palm. “ Fuck… ” His head falls back on his shoulders. “You’re going to fucking kill me.”
I blow a stream of air over the head of him as I stroke him up and down. Seconds pass as I get back into the same rhythm as earlier. When his head lifts up once again and I can feel the burn of his stare on my face, I lean forward and lick the tip of him. Salt explodes on my tongue and he groans.
Nolan’s voice deepens. “Open your mouth, Juliet,” he commands. “Take my cock between those bratty lips of yours. You’re not going to stop until you’re full of my cum.”
My thighs squirm on the bed and my clit pulses with need. Pressing my legs together, I tighten my hold on his length and lean forward.
“ No .” I freeze at the bark in Nolan’s tone and look up. His nostrils flare as he returns my stare. I can’t tell what he’s thinking and that, more than anything else, sets me on edge.
I never even did this for Bran and I’d been with him for years .
Maybe that’s why he ended up fucking Avery, but whatever the reason—none of it matters now.
I’m on my knees before one of the most powerful men I’ve ever known and he’s gazing down at me like he’s not sure if he wants to save me or destroy me.
“Just your mouth,” he finally says. “I want you to get me off with nothing but your mouth.”