32. Juliet #2
“Juliet?” Lex turns his head from side to side as if he’s trying to rid his own mind of the likely intended thoughts of betrayal I’ve given him. “What…”
The headlights speed up, coming closer. Then they slow down. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is happening too fast. Yet, I need to speed things along. I need to know that when I get into that fucking car, they won’t follow me. They can’t.
I close my eyes. I have to make it hurt.
My nails dig into my elbows as I contemplate the words circling in my head. What is the absolute worst fucking thing I could say to them? What would keep them from asking questions?
Gio starts talking, his voice echoing in my ears as he spits words out as fast as he can.
I can’t understand half of them because as soon as he starts talking, so, too, does Lex.
They both collide in a loud, jumbled mixture of anger and confusion.
Gio slipping into Spanish and then Italian and back to English.
My breathing comes faster. That car is slowing to a stop in front of the house, crawling closer and closer. Nolan is staring at me like he can see past the bullshit, like he knows what I’m trying to do.
This isn’t how I wanted shit to go down. I don’t want to do this at all. Despite the cold air, sweat makes my clothes cling to my skin.
“ Stop! ” I scream. Both Lex and Gio go quiet.
I look at them—truly look at them. Gio’s confusion, Lex’s hurt, Nolan’s… fucking neutrality.
“The three of you are nothing but street rats masquerading as men.” Hollow.
I am so fucking hollow. “You’re not getting out of Silverwood.
You’re not leaving Darrio Vargas’ fucking gang.
You’re just like everyone else in the gutter.
You were born here and you’ll die here, but I fucking wasn’t.
I don’t need to accept this. I can get out. ”
There’s a ringing in my ears. Nolan doesn’t even bat an eyelash at my words, but Lex… oh, Lex looks sick. He looks like he might vomit.
“Baby, you don’t… you don’t really mean that.” He takes a step towards me and I drop my arms from my chest, shoving him back.
“I do!” My throat is raw. “I want out, damn it!”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
It’s not a lie. I do want out. I want out of this fucking town, out of my life, out of Morpheus’ fucking clutches. I was almost there.
“You’re going to ruin everything if I let you.”
Lex stumbles away from me and finally seems to notice the car behind him. “Are you fucking leaving?” he asks.
I step past him, lifting my chin. Lex snatches a hand out and grips my upper arm hard enough to hurt. I’m going to have bruises most likely. I don’t look at him when I answer.
“Yes, I’m leaving.”
“What the fuck?” Gio shoves both of his hands into his hair and stares where Lex and I stand then to the car.
I can’t see who’s sitting in the front because of the blacked-out windows of the sedan, but I don’t have to.
Even if it’s not Morpheus, they’re here because of him.
“What the actual fuck?” Gio can’t seem to formulate any other words.
“Nolan?” Lex whips towards his friend. “Say something! She can’t just fucking go like this—we have no clue who the fuck is in that?—”
“We can’t stop her.” Lex shuts up at Nolan’s response.
It’s the hardest thing in the world to reach up and peel Lex’s fingers off my arm, one by one. My bicep aches. “That’s right,” I say. “You can’t.”
“No.” Lex shakes his head. “No, no, no. This isn’t happening. You said you’d stay—I told you everything. We said we’d take care of you. We’re getting out. Together .”
“ I’m getting out,” I correct him.
“No, that can’t be it,” Gio snaps, dropping his arms. “You’re fucking with us.”
I sidestep him when he comes towards me. “I’m not fucking with anybody anymore,” I snap. “I’m not playing your games. I thought I could handle shit on my own, but I realized I’m fucking tired of playing the poor fallen princess. I don’t want to be fucking poor, Gio.”
“You don’t give a shit about all that?—”
“What?” I whirl on him and lift a brow in challenge.
My hands find my hips and I manage to muster the most condescending stare I can.
“I don’t give a shit about money? Ha!” The laugh I release is an echo of the pain cracking my chest wide open.
“I care about not starving and sleeping on a bed that I don’t have to fucking share.
What did you think this was going to turn into?
” I ask. “Did you think I was going to be happy being passed between the three of you? Do you have any idea of what people say about me? I’m fucking the Scorpion Kings.
I’m the whore of Silverwood. The joke. The outcast.”
Vile, disgusting words seep out from between my lips. I don’t care, I want to scream. I don’t care about any of it. I just want them to be safe.
Instead, I say, “There’s no university in the world that will take me if they think I fucked my way through high school. They have morality stipulations, you know. It’s better this way. I realized what an idiot I was being before it was too late. You should be thanking me.”
“ Thanking you ?” Gio bursts out, his jaw dropping.
“ Yes ,” I hiss the word at him. “You should thank me because I’m not going to go to the police about all the shit you did. The men you’ve killed or the bodies you’ve buried. As long as you stay the hell away from me, I will keep my mouth shut and no one will ever know.”
“You’ll know,” Nolan’s response is quiet, but I hear it as if it were right next to my ear. I take a breath and slowly pivot towards him.
“Yeah, and that’s where it can end.”
He tips his head to the side, his expression that same empty canvas. “You killed too,” he reminds me. “Twice. What’s to stop us from going to the authorities?”
I laugh, a bitter noise. “Who would believe that the princess of Silverwood Prep could kill someone?” I ask.
“And even if you did—I’m going back to where I belong.
To the land of power and money. My uncle would make sure to squash the three of you like the bugs that you are.
” I swallow roughly, dropping my hands and turning away from them.
“Do us all a favor,” I snap as I take the first step towards the car. “Forget that you ever fucked me and forget everything else.”
The driver’s side door of the sedan opens and a somewhat familiar man dressed in a loose-fitted suit with his flat brown hair slicked away from his face circles around the vehicle to open the back passenger door for me.
“Juliet!” I ignore Lex’s shout as I step inside and the man shuts the door behind me. “Juliet!” His second shout is muffled by the barrier between us.
For a moment, I turn my head and glimpse him storming towards the vehicle, but Gio dives in front of him, blocking his path.
Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. I silently plead for Morpheus’ assistant to get in the car and drive away. Before my resolve crumbles. Before they see my face. Before they can stop me.
Stuart gets into the driver’s seat and shuts the door behind him. “Juliet!” Lex’s yell grows louder. I close my eyes as the car pulls away from the curb, execrating down the street. I count backwards from ten, trying to stop the flood of tears, but by the time I reach one, it’s too late.
My face is a mess. My nose is clogged with snot and I’m shattering into a million pieces.