37. Juliet
JULIET
S tuart’s constant spiel of gratefulness and ladylike behavior after Morpheus takes off is enough to drive a girl insane. Once I get to the door to my bedroom, I’ve had enough.
“Stop!” I snap, turning on the man that’s been following me like a goddamn chihuahua with a bad attitude for the last several minutes.
“Just shut up! I don’t give a fuck what you think of me, Stuart.
You are not the one in charge. You are just here to watch me.
Not police me. Leave me the fuck alone and I won’t make your life hell. ”
“Miss Donovan, how dare?—”
There’s no point in listening to him anymore.
My nerves are shot, my insides liquified into nothing but hate and rage and hurt.
I dive into the bedroom I’m staying in and slam the door shut, pressing my forehead to the solid wood and breathing in deep at the sound of Stuart’s continued stuttering behind.
Seconds pass, but then finally, I hear him retreat.
Only then do I release a sigh of relief.
“ Take off your fucking clothes .” Jerking, I whirl to face the direction of the sudden and surprising voice. My jaw drops when I spot Lex as he finishes swinging his leg over the ledge of the window and steps into the bedroom.
“What are you doing here?” My heart pounds against my rib cage, the sight of him driving up the temperature in the room several degrees. It hurts to fucking look at him after everything I said.
It’s only been days—a blink in a lifetime—and yet it feels like eons since I’ve last seen him. I take in as much of his features as I can, already knowing that if he’s discovered, it may truly be the last time.
“Take. Off. Your. Fucking. Clothes.” Each word from his mouth is accompanied by a step towards me. Lex moves like a wraith in the night, every step a concentration in control. His words, though, are barely restrained.
Heat burns at the back of my eyes and I shove down the urge to throw myself at him, to cry and hold on to him for dear life. Instead, I straighten my spine and face him like it hasn’t killed me to be away from him and the others for the last few days.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I say. “You can’t be here.”
Lex draws nearer and it becomes clear that he hasn’t shaved since we last faced each other.
The beard growth is a shadow along his jaw.
His cheekbones stand out sharply above the bronze of his skin, his eyes appearing almost sunken in.
If I were a betting woman, I’d put money on the fact that he likely hasn’t slept since I left either.
He comes right up to me and my spine presses into the thick, hard wood of the door as Lex’s arm comes down above my head, pinning my body between him and the door. Dipping down until the cold fury in his eyes is unmistakable, he rumbles out another breath.
“ I don’t give a fuck. ”
Chest rising and falling, I breathe him in. Spice and musk and… home. He smells like fucking home to me now. More pain slices through my insides, wrapping my organs in barbed wire and tightening. I shove both hands against his chest and push. He doesn’t move.
“Lex, you—” My words cut off sharply as his other hand snaps to my throat and closes around it. My cunt clenches and I blink as the urge to whimper nearly overwhelms me.
Silence stretches between us as a mask falls away from Lex’s expression.
Anger. Hurt. Agony so deep and rich that flows from his eyes and into my soul, he stares back at me.
The hand against my throat trembles, fingers contracting almost on impulse and then loosening only to tighten all over again.
As if he can’t decide what he wants to do—kill me or kiss me.
How did we get here? I wonder. How did I go from hating the Scorpion Kings to willingly walking into hell to save them?
“You don’t get to leave.” Lex’s chest pumps up and down with each breath he takes. I’m quiet as I watch the struggle in his face. To kill. To kiss. To destroy. To worship. Which is worse for him? To love me as much as he hates me? “You don’t get to give me everything and then walk away.”
“Lex—”
He clamps down as I try to speak. “You. Are. Mine .” Each monosyllabic word is accompanied by the sensation of his fingers pressing harder and harder along either side of my neck.
Black dots dance in front of me, making it nearly impossible to see him clearly. I grip his wrist, digging my nails in as I focus on him.
I’m sorry. I open my mouth to say the words, but they don’t come out.
Not only can I not let them come out, but I can hardly breathe with his fingers squeezing my throat.
Lex’s eyes are wild. Animalistic. There is a desperate edge to his actions, to the way he squeezes me tight.
His pupils dilate as he stares into my eyes, expanding as shadow overtakes smoke.
“You’re supposed to be mine.” His voice dips lower, almost rasping in a broken whisper. “Because I’m yours… I’ve always been yours.”
Oh, Lex… I close my eyes. His damage rains down on me, pressing my body into the wall with the kind of weight that can’t be eased without sacrifice.
My eyes fly open as Lex rips me away from the door, lifting me off my feet by the grip on my throat.
I gasp, but no air slips through. My feet skim the soft cushioned carpet until the backs of my legs smack into the footboard of the bed.
Only then does Lex ease his grip, dropping me onto the mattress.
I cough, choking and gagging, one hand going to my most likely bruised throat as the other holds me up in a sitting position on the mattress. “Lex, I had to. You don’t understand, I?—”
Pain explodes in my scalp as he grabs my hair and yanks hard. I swallow back the urge to scream as my eyes shift to the door and back to the man in front of me. Even if Morpheus isn’t here, there’s a whole house of employees below. All of them dedicated to a man they think is a savior.
If any of them find out that Lex is here in this room with me, that he came for me—as I should have known he would—they’ll tell him.
Morpheus’ threats sink past the physical pain that Lex creates as he tightens his hold on my hair.
No matter how angry he might be, I’ve made my choice—it’s them. It’s always them.
I’d die to protect them.
“I gave you a chance, baby.” Tone low, voice rolling over my ears like an audible drug, addicting me to the headiness of his possession, Lex drags his face up the side of my neck and stops at my earlobe.
“Now, we’ll do things my way.” He bites down, the sharp sting shifting from light to actually painful.
“Lex!” I slap at his chest. “That hurts.”
When he pulls away, something wet drips onto my shoulder and I look down. Shocked, I spy two tiny red dots. Looking back to Lex, I shiver at the sight of his lower lip coated in the same crimson liquid— my blood.
My breasts swell and the urge to lean back and let him take out all of the banked rage burning in the depths of his gaze is almost irresistible.
This isn’t the sweet man that held me in the midst of a panic attack.
This isn’t the boy I befriended in our innocent youth.
This is Lex, the stalker. Lex, the monster. And he’s here to rip me to shreds.
Before I can utter another word or sound of protest, he reaches for the front of my blouse, gripping the soft silk. The fabric pulls tight and the sound of rending material reaches my ears a second before air washes over the front of my body.
I glance down to find that the delicate shirt is now torn clean down the center, revealing the swells of my breasts confined in white lace and the planes of my stomach to open air.
I don’t really care that he’s shredded what is likely a piece of clothing that costs several hundred dollars.
The fact is—anything that comes from Morpheus is something I couldn’t give a shit less about.
Lifting my gaze back to meet his, I arch a brow. “I have more clothes in the wardrobe if you want to rip those apart too,” I offer.
He doesn’t answer, but instead continues to remove the tattered remains of the shirt in quick fashion, yanking the sleeves down my arms and tossing the shredded piece over his shoulder before he reaches for my pants.
Flipping onto my back, I have no time to resist as he strips me all the way to the matching panty set to my bra.
When I’m left in nothing else, he climbs atop me and pins me beneath him.
I soak in the feel of his heavy body on top of mine.
It doesn’t frighten me like it used to. A memory of being shoved into the back of his SUV with Nolan pinning me to the back seat of the vehicle pops into my mind.
I hadn’t realized then what was so upsetting about the pressure.
I hadn’t yet remembered what happened with Morpheus.
That ugly piece of my history was so far repressed into the deepest part of my mind that all I’d been able to do is react.
It’s different now. Lex is in my heart, a piece of my jagged, torn soul. I trust him.
His legs trap both of mine together and his hand returns to my throat, gripping with a strength that he’s never used on me like this before.
“Lex, please…” His hand clamps down and he grits his teeth as he hovers over me.
“ You left .”
The sheer agony in those words cuts deep, sliding a wickedly scorching hot blade right between my ribs and directly into my heart. I clamp my lips shut, unwilling to let the truth spill out.
He shakes his head. “You can’t leave,” he says. “You’re mine . You promised .” Through his words, I see what he hasn’t said. It’s written across his face as if the truth is embedded in his skin only for me to read.
I am nothing without you. If you won’t have me, what else is there for me to live for? I would die for you. I would kill for you. I would burn the world down for you and I would never let the flame touch you.
Why did you leave me?