Chapter 13 The Weight of a Promise #2
She swallowed, conflicted, but there was no conflict in Calla’s features. She was the captain now, and she’d made a decision, and Riley knew there would be no talking her out of it. Riley still parted her lips to argue, but Calla cut her off with a look.
“Don’t fight me on this, Riley,” she said.
Her voice went soft with her name in a way that made Riley’s stomach flutter, but there was someone else who made her stomach flutter too, and she wasn’t here–
“Sable would never forgive me if I let anything happen to you.”
Riley startled. “If it mattered what Sable wanted, we wouldn’t be chasing her in the first place.”
“I happen to agree with her on this one thing. Please,” Calla said, even softer, and for the first time, the look in her eyes was unguarded. Scared. “I can’t handle losing both of you. Don’t ask me that. I can’t do it.”
And whatever arguments Riley had, they died in her throat at the pleading in Calla’s eyes, at the softness of her voice.
“Okay,” she breathed out, unable to tear her gaze away from Calla’s.
“Okay.” She swallowed thickly. “But you didn’t lose her,” she said, allowing the words to settle in the space between them. “We’re going to find her.”
The smile that followed was so sad it made Riley want to clutch at her own chest. “I know.”
When Riley sat up this time, she was steady on her feet, and she shot Calla a tired smile. “Goodnight, captain. Thank you–”
Calla caught her wrist, frowning. “Where are you going?”
Riley blinked. “To get some sleep–”
“In the crow’s nest? Absolutely not.” Calla’s hold tightened on her wrist as she examined Riley from head to toe. It made her breath come short. She nodded towards her bed. “You can sleep here.”
Riley blinked again. Her lips parted. She glanced at Calla’s bed, and then at Calla. “Here?” she asked, her throat suddenly dry.
Calla arched an eyebrow. “Are you going to sleep with the rest of the crew?”
A scowl immediately settled on Riley’s face, and Calla’s lips twitched in amusement. It made Riley scowl harder. “No, but–”
“If you were going to sleep anywhere else, you would’ve done it by now.” A beat of silence as Calla considered her, finally letting go of her wrist. “I don’t imagine the crow’s nest is very comfortable for you.”
Heat flared in her stomach, spreading all the way to her fingertips. She’d been sour about that just the other day, while glaring at Rowe, hadn’t she? And here was Calla now, offering up her own bed. Riley shifted on her feet, wrapping her arms around herself. “No, but…”
Calla tilted her head. “But?”
She stared at her, waiting, and damn her, but Riley wished the captain would interrupt her now, because she didn’t know what to say. Her reply came soft and unbidden, “But it’s your bed, Calla.”
A smile played on Calla’s lips. “It’s a bed.
You will take it until we make it to the witch.
” Heat flushed again, but Calla didn’t give her the chance to argue.
“Who, by the way, is not that far. It’s just for a few days.
I don’t suppose you’d rather bunk with Thorian.
” The smile on Calla’s lips grew deeper.
Teasing. “Would you?” she asked, tilting her head.
Riley scowled again. “That’s the alternative? Really?”
Calla pressed her lips together, looking like she was trying not to laugh. “Go to sleep, Riley, before you faint again.”
And this teasing was doing things to her, except Calla stepped away then, and Riley frowned. “Where are you going?”
“The chart room. I’ll have a word with Merrow about changing course.” She tilted her head at Riley. “I won’t be long. Shout if you need me.”
As Riley watched her slip out of the room, she realized she couldn’t lie to herself anymore.
She craved Calla’s closeness. Her forgiveness.
She’d been so pissed off when Calla chased off that flirty gunner and then didn’t even deign her with a word.
Maybe she didn’t deserve either, but Riley wanted them.
Calla and Sable both, and the whole of the crew back together.
She wanted a place to belong. She wanted all of it more than she’d ever wanted gold.
Maybe she hadn’t done anything to deserve all this, but since when had she concerned herself with that?
She could be selfish, and reach out, and work hard on keeping the things she wanted.
As long as she had breath in her lungs, she’d fight to hold on to this. To make herself worthy of Calla’s care, and Sable’s, and the rest of the crew’s.
This was the promise she made in the silence of the night as she lay in Calla’s bed.
Sleep overtook her before she even realized she’d closed her eyes, and it was light and troubled as it always was.
Until she heard the soft click of Calla’s door, and her shuffling quietly about the room.
The sleep that overtook her after was deeper, without dreams.
She was safe.
***
Riley woke up with a start. She took a moment to orient herself in the unfamiliar surroundings.
Then she sat up suddenly. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as her bare feet met the cool floor, and her skin prickled with awareness.
Calla. Riley’s gaze met hers from across the room, and she was sitting at her desk, frowning.
Why was she frowning?
And where had she slept?
Riley would’ve woken up if Calla had joined her during the night, even through the exhaustion. Then she blinked, realizing why she’d woken up so suddenly, and why Calla was frowning.
The ship’s bell was ringing.
“Come,” Calla said, rising from her desk. “They spotted another ship on the horizon.”
Riley blinked, looking towards the porthole. It was first light, and she saw nothing but the sea outside. “You can tell just by the bell?” Riley asked as she hunted for her boots. Her nose wrinkled. They were still wet.
“Of course. I’m the captain,” Calla said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
She was worried, and Riley stopped caring about her wet boots. This could be a problem.
Fear seized her throat as she remembered the Stingers. Surely this wasn’t them again.