Chapter 24 This is Goodbye
Sable
The moment they reached the spot, Sable felt it as pure, simple dread, raising her flesh into goosebumps. She pulled her oar out of the water and laid it across her knees.
“We’re here,” she said.
Kittredge looked around. Nothing but the wide expanse of the sea stretched before them. “Here where?” she asked, frowning.
Sable sighed and worked her mouth, but the words would not come.
She was still trying not to think about her next steps.
Not because of the Heart this time, but because she was scared–afraid she might lose her grip on the sheer determination that had brought them here.
She thought of Calla instead, and Riley, and the rest of the Moonshadow’s crew.
She hoped–No. She wondered if they’d gotten over themselves and accepted Calla for who she was.
She wondered if Riley had stayed on the ship, if she’d managed to get through to Calla. If either of them was missing her.
“Well…” Kittredge trailed off, uncertain. “What now?”
Sable’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest. She supposed it couldn’t be put off anymore. They were here. And she wouldn’t leave Kittredge without a goodbye. Her friend deserved that much.
“Now you’ll–” Sable faltered at the knot in her throat.
She coughed it away roughly. “Now you’ll take your oar and paddle your way away from here.
” She frowned. “Not the same way we came. It’s too dangerous, and you won’t have the Heart around to protect you.
” She pulled out one of the maps from her bag and placed it beside Kittredge.
“I marked the safest path back to the Gullet that I could find.”
She fell silent after that, unsure of what more there was to say. There was no guarantee Kittredge would make it back to the Moonshadow, or the Gullet, alive. Frankly, it was very unlikely that she would. Perhaps she could–
Yes. Yes, you could.
Sable gritted her teeth with a jerk of her head.
She forced herself to remember Riley, floating above the cave floor as she clutched the Heart in her hand, the veins on her hands growing black as night.
The way her body convulsed. Her screams. The bone-deep knowledge that the Heart would make whatever wish Riley had whispered come true, but at the price of her life.
And if Sable faltered now, the Heart would get its hooks in deep.
More than one life would be lost. The Heart was too hungry–too angry–to stop at one. So she couldn’t. Not even for Kit.
“And you?” Kittredge asked in a small voice.
Even now, Kittredge was not thinking of herself, even though she had so much to lose. A partner. A crew who loved her. The life of adventure she’d always dreamed of. But her heart had always been even bigger than her thirst for adventure.
Sable couldn’t bring herself to meet her gaze.
She should’ve done a better job losing her back at the Gullet, but she’d barely put up a fight.
Because she’d been scared. Ever since she’d come up with this plan, she’d been terrified.
Of it not working. Of it working. Kittredge’s cheerful, pestering presence had allowed her to breathe through that fear.
And this act of kindness would cost Kittredge her life.
Sable rubbed a hand against her face. “Damn it, Kit,” she swore under her breath.
“Why did you have to follow me?” she asked, defeated.
“I told you from the start this was a one-way trip, and now it’s here, and I won’t be able to make sure you make it back alive, or that you make it back at all.
I can’t protect anyone if I don’t do this, and once I do this, I won’t be able to protect you. ”
Kittredge looked at her seriously as she said, “You know, Sable, you have a very big head.”
Sable stared in confusion. “What?”
“I don’t need you to protect me.”
“But you’ll–”
Kittredge scoffed. “I might. Or I might not. That’s always the deal on the sea, whether you’re there with your big bad protector energy or not.
” Kittredge drew in a sharp breath, shaking her head.
“But that’s not the point. This was never about me.
” She looked at Sable, and even now, even here, where everything was desolate and hopeless, she was smiling.
“I’m just here because I’m your friend, and I think you’re doing something dumb, and I was really hoping I could talk you out of this before you threw yourself on a sword because you think that’s gonna do anyone any good.
” Another sharp inhale. “So, tell me. Where, exactly, do you think you’re going?
” Kittredge asked as she gestured at the surrounding sea.
Sable locked her jaw tight. Her heart thrashed against her ribcage like a wild animal, and she curled her fingers into tight fists, forcing all of this fear, all of these feelings away.
This was supposed to be easy. If not easy, then straightforward.
Take the Heart, stash it away, make sure no one could ever find it again.
Clean and cut. But fear and guilt and self-doubt swelled in her chest and crowded her throat until Sable was sure she would choke with it.
She forced a breath through, and then another, nails digging into the flesh of her palms.
Kittredge might believe this was foolish, but it was not.
She’d seen what the Heart was capable of, sensed the darkness within.
It craved chaos. It craved destruction. It had tried to twist both Calla and Sable’s minds into something they weren’t.
It would try again with others. But Sable could do something about it.
She knew her plan would work, and it was the only way to make sure the Heart could never try to hurt the people she loved again.
Her own life was a sound price to pay for that.
Kittredge was still waiting for a reply, and eventually, Sable nodded at the water.
Kit blinked. She leaned over the boat’s edge to peer at the sea below. The waters of the Desolate Sea were deep. This spot, if the rumors were true, marked the deepest, darkest depths of the known seas.
Understanding dawned on Kittredge’s face, and slowly, she leaned back. “You’re going to…”
Sable nodded once, sharply.
“Please don’t.” The wobble in her voice made Sable look into Kittredge’s eyes, and she instantly regretted it. They were shiny with tears, and Sable’s chest felt tight, like she didn’t have enough air.
Sable tore her gaze away. She couldn’t stomach the pleading, pained look on her face. “I have to,” she said roughly.
“You don’t!” Kittredge snapped, making Sable flinch back. “You don’t even know if there are other options, because you never stopped to consider any.”
“It’s the only way to keep everyone safe.”
“Damn it, Sable, there’s more to you than this noble protector shit! You don’t actually have to throw your life away for us to know that you would. We know. And we don’t want you to. I don’t. And Calla and Riley sure as shit don’t either.”
Sable’s lips parted, then they closed. She hated the surge of hope in her chest, as if there might really be another option.
She squashed it down with a grit of her teeth.
As much as she might want to believe Kit, wanting was not a luxury she could afford.
Even if there were another way, it would not be safer than this. It would not be good enough.
“I’m sorry, Kit,” she said. “Please don’t die on the way back.”
“Don’t–”
But Sable didn’t wait to hear the rest.
With a bittersweet smile, she grabbed her satchel with the Heart and her rock-filled bag, and she threw herself into the Desolate Sea. The water closed over her head in a rush, heavy and cold, stealing the last sounds of Kittredge's voice as she let herself sink.
And as the cold and darkness and desolate loneliness wrapped all around her, Sable felt something else, too.
The Heart was pissed.