Chapter Sixteen #3
“For lack of a better term, have you considered the human element?”
It was as if he’d read my mind once more. “Humans…”
“No,” he amended, “that was a bad way to phrase it. I just mean…there are emotions wrapped up in this process on every side. If you want to consider how things could go wrong, maybe you shouldn’t be looking at large-scale outcomes and should start thinking about the individual pawns in the game.”
I rolled the duvet between my thumb and forefinger, watching the fabric bunch and roll. “They aren’t pawns.”
He covered my fidgeting with a large hand, catching my fingers in his own. “I know you aren’t comfortable with thinking of things in those terms. But every game is made up of individual players. And—”
“I’m not Fauna,” I said coldly.
He caught my chin. He looked at me seriously.
“She should have told you why rebels across the realms are rooting for you. But I assume she knew it would have freaked you out. So, what did she do? She kept you safe. She helped you navigate your new life without the veil. She was your friend, your bodyguard, your confidant. She held her agenda in her left hand and you in her right.”
I looked away, staring at the leaves that had begun to turn from green to yellow as they rustled, a few stray ones matching the oranges and reds that reminded me so much of Fauna. Finally, I said, “Why is everyone so eager to make me forgive her?”
He dragged his fingers along the bare skin of my arm, sending chills through me. “I suspect because we see that you’re hurting, and the cause is identifiable. I’d also guess anyone advocating for Fauna is trying to offer a non-mortal lens of events.”
“Why do they care?” I did my best to sneer but knew it was unconvincing.
“Maybe because life has always been hard for you, and it’s about to get a lot harder. You don’t need more enemies.”
I yanked my arm away. “I hate that you’re taking her side.”
He chuckled lightly. “Do you want me to kill her? I’ll do it. I can have it done before you brush your teeth and make your coffee.”
“Yes.”
His eyes twinkled.
“Maybe not,” I hedged.
The rising sun washed us in new light. Soon, I’d have to face the day. The ticking clock wouldn’t let me stay with him forever.
“How should we do it?” he said, voice dancing with amusement. “Head on a silver platter? Burned at the stake? Eaten by wolves?”
“She can command the wolves,” I said.
“Right, right,” he amended. “I’d suspected she was a forest deity before I met her.
She passes herself off as a skogsr?, which isn’t quite a false equivalent.
Nymphs are minor forest deities in their own right.
But downplaying her role in the Nordic pantheon served her.
Who would have thought your best friend would be the chaos goddess of the end times? ”
“Nia and Kirby are my best friends,” I deflected.
“To be cherished by Angrboda…that’s an incredible feat. She loves you, you know.”
I threw off my sheets, feet hitting the floor. “Oh my god. What happened to the good old days when I’d get dicked down instead of lectured? Now you’re all wise and shit.”
He laced his fingers behind his head, grinning as he looked up at me from the bed. “Ah, yes. Things were much easier when I was in a box. I’m free, baby. But if you want to get dicked down…”
“No.” I humphed, marching to my dresser. I fished through my panties as I said, “Now I’m mad at you. Go to your meetings. I’ll ask Silas if I need anything. He’s the one who’s here for me.”
His silver eyes darkened in an instant.
I’d struck with my sharpest dagger. A thrill shot through me, forcing me to clamp down on my lip as he got behind me in a second, wrapping a hand around the back of my neck. He yanked me away from the dresser to look up at him.
A second wave of surprise tingled every nerve ending as I soaked in the heat radiating off of him. I spoke before I could think. “You’re jealous.”
He huffed a breath of air through his nose that could have been a laugh. “Jealous? That I’ve poured thousands of years of love into a mortal who’s found her way into the arms of my nemesis?”
“You brought your nemesis to my door in the first place,” I challenged.
His lip twitched as he appeared to fight the need for it to curl.
“Should I be jealous that a Heavenly Host has fallen for her? Or that in this life, they can bond over a similarly abusive religious King, that he’s saved her a few times in this life, but she can’t remember how many times I’ve been there for her in the others?
That he’s from the only pantheon who would—”
“Who would what?” I pushed, mouth opened in amused shock. I couldn’t help it. The challenge bubbled out on a giggle. “Who would dare to try to steal your girl?”
He stepped until I was forced back into the dresser, hips pressing into mine. He cupped my face with both hands. His hands dropped from my face to my hips, lifting me in a swift motion until I slid back against the knickknacks and lipstick tubes adorning my dresser.
“He’s doing his best,” he said. His hand slid up over my ribs, beyond my shoulders, grazing my neck before holding the back of my head. “But your body is not all you are. And I’m not out here to win the battle to lose the war,” he said.
I leaned forward, my forehead pressed into his. “The war is between—”
“The war is made up of individuals,” he growled quietly, our lips inches apart.
“I love the shit out of you,” I said. “I would die for you. If you told me never to touch another person again, you know it’s done. But selflessness is a virtue…”
His eyes softened. Love touched the corner of his upturned smirk as he said, “And I’m six of the deadly sins.”
My lips twitched. “Are you leaving out sloth?”
“I’m leaving out sloth,” he confirmed in a murmur, pressing into me.
His lips met mine, tongue encircling mine.
My legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him close as his hands tangled in my hair.
He crushed me against him, pressing my breasts into his chest. I wished he weren’t wearing clothes, mostly because I knew that once he pulled away, the guilty smudge of my arousal would blot against his black pants.
A hand went to my lower back, forcing me closer as he kissed me.
Three successive thumps pounded on the door. Caliban’s hands tensed against me. Filtered through the door, we heard a deep, male voice call, “Marlow? Coffee’s on.”
Caliban broke his kiss, chuckling into my neck.
I suppressed a nervous giggle. “You gotta hand it to him. He’s ballsy.”
“I’ll hand him nothing,” came his husky response. Caliban pulled away. He smoothed my hair before smiling sadly. He tucked a knuckle beneath my chin. His diamond-bright eyes burned into mine as he cut into me with a stare. “Never again. Not alone. Not like that.”
A lump of panic lodged in my throat.
“His cards are on the table. So are mine. He won’t get another chance to touch you. Not unless I’m there to show him who you belong to.”
Sweat prickled on my forehead. I couldn’t even echo what I thought he was saying.
He did it for me. “If he wants to put his hands on you, and you want to feel him inside you, he’ll have to stare down a real man’s cock when he does it.
Hold me in both hands and do a line of snake venom off it.
Look him in the eye and then suck me clean.
Do what you need to do, Love, but put him in his place. ”
A new shot of electricity that had nothing to do with the powder caused my brain to short-circuit. I crackled somewhere between discomfort and excitement at the ironic thought of a devil’s threesome.
I dared a question. “Or…?”
“I’ll kill him,” he said simply.
My ears rang. My face fell as I understood these were parting words. “You’re leaving me again, aren’t you.”
His hand softened as he cradled my cheek. “Only because you’ve got spiritual muscle while being actively invisible to every realm. And trust me: There’s nowhere I’d rather be than at your side. I hate leaving you with my rival.”
“He’s not your rival,” I said.
His answering smirk didn’t quite reach his eyes. There was something angry and intentional to the set of his jaw.
I tried again. “Off to save the world?”
“Off to destroy it,” he amended. “If I’m not wrong, we’re on similar missions. I’m doing my best to get out ahead of every other god from every pantheon who’s been waiting for this moment.”
I looked at the empty bed to where Fauna had once snuggled me. I didn’t have to say her name.
“Norse mythology had Angrboda arriving at the end of times. Some realms have a true apocalypse. Some have a chaos era. Some overthrow the sun. We need them to work with you, not against you. Just because we have the same goal doesn’t mean we’re on the same side.
Not unless I get to them first. For you.
For us. Or everything we’re doing…everything we’re working toward… ”
It was too sweet, too powerful, too beautiful for me to handle first thing in the morning. He’d had the luxury of thousands of years to perfect this moment. I only had deflection and sarcasm as I bought myself time.
I lifted a shoulder. “Earth was due for an upheaval.”
He stepped away from me. “I wonder if there’s anyone who would agree with you. A Norde, maybe.”
“Hey—” I scarcely had the time to interject.
He brushed a kiss against my cheek, and then he was gone. I was naked and alone atop my dresser.
“Coffee’s getting cold!” Silas called from the kitchen.
“I’ll be right out,” I replied. My heart squeezed uncomfortably as I battled with how I would face him in the morning light.
I couldn’t pretend last night hadn’t happened.
I’d wanted it. And now Caliban’s parting message about the end of the world would be the last thing on my mind before I confronted the fallen angel.
I brushed my teeth and scrubbed my face in the en suite bathroom.
I’d barely shimmied into a pair of bikini-cut buttons when Silas called again.
Maybe I was annoyed. Maybe I was trying to punish him, or Caliban, or myself.
But I wouldn’t be rushed in my own house.
I grabbed an off-the-shoulder sweater from the back of my chair and slipped it over my head as I opened the door.
Bare feet, ass cheeks out, braless, and with a loosely knit sweater covering half of my body, I strutted into the kitchen.
Silas slammed his mouth shut.
“Do you know how I take it?” I stepped up to him, barely an arm’s length away.
He blinked down at me, cogs behind his eyes working as he struggled for words.
“My coffee. Hot, dark, and sweet. I take it with honey. If you’re going to be the coffee bitch, you should at least get my order right.
” I reached around him, snatching the French press from his hand and pouring myself a cup.
I dipped a spoon into the honeypot, then watched it melt from the metal as it sweetened the dark liquid.
He leaned against the counter. Broad, muscled shoulders stretched the thin white T-shirt over his chest, which made it so much easier to see his uneven breathing. His shoulders slumped ever so slightly as he said, “Marlow…about last night…”
My swagger evaporated. I’d hoped to confront this with levity. But he’d undoubtedly smelled the rush of moss and mist and gin the moment Caliban had appeared.
He must have also sensed my deer-in-the-headlights rigidity, because he spoke before I was forced to break the silence. His voice was soft as he said, “I know you’re always going to choose him.”
I met the golden halo of his eyes. Softly, I said, “I want to say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”
The corner of his mouth tugged up in a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t regret it either.”
He wrapped his arms around me and let the moment linger. It was a balm to our open wounds that required no words. At our core, whatever we were…we cared about each other. Its soft, warm, sweet healing was the only thing that paired better with my coffee than honey.