Chapter 2
TWO
It felt like the world itself had dropped away. Like Nadi was in free fall. But all too quickly, the world came rushing up to meet her and she was slammed unforgivingly into it.
“How dare you!” She slapped his hand away from her before using both palms to shove him back a step. Going for the gun, she aimed it at him and pulled the trigger.
It clicked. Harmlessly.
She pulled it three more times.
Nothing.
“Fuck—” It wasn’t loaded. It hadn’t been loaded the whole time.
The laugh that left Raziel was pure evil. He didn’t need the gun anymore, did he? Maybe he never needed it at all. “You’ve come so far, Nadi. You killed Hank. You risked everything. You killed your own uncle for this. Would you really throw it all away now?”
With a snarl, she threw the gun to the side of the room. It clattered against the wall.
“That is not an answer, little fae. To either of my questions.” He grinned in triumph. He’d laid a trap. Baited it. And she’d stepped right in. “Yes or no. Have you ever felt something real between us? Answer me truthfully.”
Adrenaline rushed through her. The sort of panic that hit when she was suddenly caught red-handed sneaking through someone’s house, preparing to murder them or their family member.
She could walk out the door. She could just leave. She could. She should. But that was admitting something, wasn’t it? That was admitting that she couldn’t give him an answer.
The trap he’d laid was brilliant. Simple. Flawless. And superbly, wonderfully cruel.
She couldn’t answer “no.”
It would be a lie, wouldn’t it? And it hadn’t occurred to her until right then and there. The little bit of rot, of mold, that had been growing in the corner of her soul since who knew when.
To her absolute horror… some of it had felt real.
But like fuck she was going to tell him “yes.”
Like fuck she was going to give that smugly smiling piece of bloodsucking shit exactly what he wanted to hear.
So instead, she growled, and launched herself at him, intending to claw his face off with her fingernails if she had to. “You fucking bastard!”
Raziel laughed, seemingly delighted by her answer.
“What’s wrong? Hm? Why can’t you give me an answer?
Isn’t it a simple question? You despise me and you want me dead more than anything in the world, don’t you?
” He grabbed her by the wrists, yanking her off balance, nearly sending her crashing to the ground.
He outclassed her as a fighter on a good day, and she was too angry, too upset to focus on strategy.
He’d won the fight before she’d even started.
She knew it.
And he knew it.
But that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try to take a chunk out of him. “Shut the fuck up!” She stomped on his foot as hard as she could, using her heeled shoes to her advantage.
He snarled in pain, throwing her forward and away from him. Her back hit the altar hard enough that it knocked the wind out of her for a moment.
Before she could turn, his hand was at the back of her neck.
He slammed her down over the table, pinning her to the surface. “Now, little murderer, we come to the very important part of all this.” His voice was a deep growl as he pressed his body against hers. “Remember what I said… if you can’t answer, I will make you answer…”
She could feel every inch of him as he ground his hips into hers, a promise and a threat. It took everything in her not to moan in anticipation.
By the moons, she wanted him to make good on that threat. She wanted to feel him take. To feel his power.
But it was wrong. He’d killed her family. She’d vowed revenge on him. Snarling, she pushed up as hard as she could, struggling, but it was useless. He was too strong. “Get off me!”
“If I let you up, it will be because you’re planning on walking out that door and never coming back. Is that what you want? For me to let you go?”
She froze.
Leaving meant losing the close proximity to her kill. All the hard work she’d done and everything she’d sacrificed to get there.
Leaving also meant losing… Raziel.
And that cinched something around her heart in a way that made her so extremely disgusted at herself that she wanted to rip out her soul and burn it.
“Believe me, I understand how difficult this must be for you.” He slowly began to run his hand along her thigh, pulling up her dress to her waist before gliding his hand over the globe of her ass, then pressing his hips into her again with a low groan.
“You hate me. You want me dead. And here you are… wanting me. And if that were all it was, that would be fine. But it isn’t just that, is it?
There’s something more buried deep inside. ”
“Shut up—” She felt like she couldn’t breathe. He was touching her. Her. Not Monica. Her. Nadi. A fae. This wasn’t a lie. This wasn’t a game. This wasn’t all for show.
This. This was real. She’d never felt more exposed in her life.
“When was the last time you had sex as yourself?” He squeezed her ass hard, digging his fingers into the skin.
It did anything but make her want him to stop. She pulled in a hiss through her teeth and snarled at him, slamming her hand on the table. “Let me up, you son of a bitch!”
“That is a fair statement. My mother is a massive bitch.” He laughed. “Answer my question, Nadi. When?”
She twisted, trying to claw at him, anything—desperate to simply hurt him. Make him bleed. He’d ripped her heart out of her chest, it was only fair she got to do the same to him.
“Ah-ah.” She heard a click, and there was a press of cold metal to the side of her neck. A knife. “Be still for a moment, Nadi.”
“Don’t you dare!” She froze. But by all the gods, the sensation of the edge of the blade as he dragged it down, ever so carefully over her skin, not cutting her, just teasing her, made her want him more than she could put into words.
Pressing her forehead to the table, she let out a cry of frustration.
“I know. I truly do.” He began cutting her clothes off with the knife, easily slicing through the fabric. “But, trust me—love and hate are not mutually exclusive.”
He left her in just her stockings and her underwear. “Can you answer me yet? Yes or no?”
She was shivering. Not because she was cold.
His hands slowly slid up and down her sides, stroking her body. Touching her. Touching her. Not Monica. Every curve was his to explore. Every inch. And he seemed intent on doing exactly that.
“So beautiful in the moonlight… I suppose that was what you were designed for, siren. Can you sing?”
She could. Quite well, actually. In another life, that was probably supposed to be her calling—luring sailors to their deaths with her song. But like fuck was she going to tell him anything about it.
Leaning down, he kissed her shoulder. She tried to jerk away from his touch, and he only chuckled at the useless gesture. “You have every right to be angry. Stay angry. I want to feel you fight me. I want to feel the moment you surrender.”
“Fuck. You.”
He stroked his hand lower, stepping back from her a bit so he could cup the core of her body.
Her underwear had been ripped to shreds when she had shown him her true form.
It made it easy enough for him to delve a finger inside of her, discovering quickly how much her body was not nearly so conflicted as her mind was on the matter.
She expected him to taunt her. Mock her. Belittle her for how much she wanted him. Instead, he only moaned, and drove his finger deeper inside of her. “That’s it, my beautiful fae… yes, Nadi—”
The words sent a shudder through her unexpectedly. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried not to sob at the warring feelings battling for supremacy inside of her.
When a second finger joined the first, she couldn’t take it anymore, and the choked, mewling sound of need escaped her. Not just for sex. But for him.
“Sshh…” He paused, moving to lie atop her.
For a moment, the whole world was him—the smell of him, the sound of him, the feel of his body on hers as he kissed her cheek.
He wiped away her tears and kissed the corner of her lips, slowly, tenderly.
“Let it go. Feel it all. Everything. Tonight, we break it all down… and see what’s left when we’re done. ”
Feel it all.
Break it all down.
She nodded, weakly, shutting her eyes.
He kissed her cheek again. His words were soft but insistent. Somehow tender but unyielding in the same moment. “Say the word stop and this all ends in an instant. Tell me wait, or no, or I can’t, and I’ll only push you harder. But stop, and you are free. Do you understand?”
With another weak nod, she kept her eyes shut.
“I need to hear you say it, little murderer… I need to hear you say ‘I understand.’ Can you do that for me?” It felt like he was trying to coax her off a ledge. And perhaps, in the strangest of ways, he was.
Let it go. Feel it all. Everything. Tonight, we break it all down.
That was what she needed.
In a nearly broken whisper, she answered, “I understand.”
He smiled against her skin. “Then, let’s begin…”
Perfect little creature. His perfect little creature. Nadi was trembling beneath him—in rage, in fear, in desire. Raziel understood. Tonight would change things forever between them, one way or another. Because he couldn’t stand a single second more of this lie they’d built between them.
No. He needed to know if there was anything in her—anything at all—that felt any kind of compassion for the detestable monster she had sworn to destroy.
Even if he suspected that in his process of extracting what she was hiding and showing it to the light, he would damage it forever. It might die, bleeding out all over the floor.
The story of his life.
But he couldn’t go on, not knowing where they stood. And neither could she.
She probably expected him to simply take her like she was now, bent on the altar and at his mercy. Simply wreak havoc on her until he met his end. But that wasn’t the point.