Chapter 13 #3
A heavy sigh. For a minute, she didn’t think he was going to answer.
But when Ivan finally spoke, his voice was distant, as if recalling events from another lifetime.
“About a hundred ’n’ fifty years ago, Raziel was different then—less, well.
You see him. The Serpent reputation was still new.
Volencia had him doing her dirty work, but he hadn’t become what he is now.
” Ivan navigated a sharp turn, the car’s headlights cutting through the darkness.
“Then, he met Braen. They were both broken in their own way.”
Nadi tried to imagine a less broken Raziel.
“Braen was the oldest Rosov, but he was always the black sheep,” Ivan continued. “Too unpredictable. He had… tastes that his family found unseemly.” A pause. “Though nothing like what he was doing with those fae in the basement of his club. That came later.”
“And Raziel?” Nadi prompted, wanting to understand the man whose blood was staining her hands.
“Raziel was Volencia’s dog, but he hadn’t fully accepted that role yet. He still fought against it, still believed he could have some kind of life outside her control.” Ivan’s laugh was bitter. “Turns out he was wrong.”
Beneath Nadi’s hands, Raziel stirred slightly, his face contorting in pain even in unconsciousness. She smoothed back his hair, the gesture automatic.
“Their uh… thing… was pretty intense.” Ivan’s hesitation in his words made her smile. He was treating her like she’d never had a boyfriend before Raziel. “It was—uh… volatile. But real. He seemed happy. Started talking about breaking away from Volencia, about building his own thing.”
“And Volencia couldn’t allow that,” Nadi guessed, the pieces falling into place.
“Nope. She destroyed them, the way she destroys everything.” Ivan sighed.
Nadi looked down at Raziel, trying to imagine what it must have been like. To have the one person you trusted, the one escape you thought you’d found, turned against you by your own mother.
“What did Braen do?” she asked, though she suspected she knew the answer.
“Betrayed him. Set him up. Ensured that a deal went wrong and had left him for dead in a back alley in the lower city.” Ivan’s voice was flat. “I found him there, nearly dead. Multiple stab wounds, a silver blade left in his chest.”
“But he survived.”
“Barely. Raziel went after Braen, said Braen had done it on purpose. Braen denied it all, and said that Raziel was the paranoid, delusional one. Raziel walked away. He was never the same after.” Ivan’s grip on the steering wheel tightened again.
“Volencia told him it proved he could never trust anyone. That only she understood him.” His laugh was hollow. “Raz believed her.”
The car fell silent, save for the hum of the engine and Raziel’s ragged breathing. Nadi tried to process everything she’d learned. It didn’t excuse what Raziel had become—the monster who’d slaughtered her family—but it helped her at least understand how he’d gotten there.
The layers of manipulation, the systematic breaking of his spirit, the isolation from anyone who might offer an alternative path.
“So tonight, in the garden,” she said slowly, “when Braen revealed that he knew Volencia had lied?”
“Dunno. How would you feel if your whole world was a lie?” Ivan finished for her. “Because he and Braen never…”
She thought back to the moment just before Braen had shot Raziel, the look of raw vulnerability that had crossed the Serpent’s face.
She’d never seen him so unguarded, so… human.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Ivan said, his eyes finding hers in the mirror again. “You’re wondering if the ‘real’ Raziel—the one beneath the Serpent—is someone worth saving.” He shook his head. “It’s not that simple. There isn’t one.”
“I know that.” More than I can tell you, Ivan. More than the bodyguard could possibly understand, she truly, honestly, to her soul, knew there was no pulling the two apart. The thought had not ever crossed her mind.
There was no real Raziel hiding underneath the monster.
There was no monster to save him from. They were one and the same.
She had watched her entire family die at his hands. Her entire life had been spent plotting her revenge, learning to kill—honing her skills as an assassin. And what little she had, had been sacrificed to infiltrate his life for the sole purpose of destroying him and everything he held dear.
She had murdered her uncle Luciento in the name of the “greater good.”
And yet, here she was, cradling his head in her lap, desperately trying to keep him alive.
If there was a monster in the car…
She was starting to believe it might not be Raziel.
“I’m not looking to redeem him, Ivan. I can promise you that.” She turned her gaze out the window. No, if he died, it would be because she decided he should. No one else. The words slipped out without her realizing it. “He’ll die when I say he dies.”
Ivan’s eyes widened slightly in the mirror, and he barked out a surprised laugh. “Yeah. I think I get why he likes you.”
Nadi didn’t answer, not wanting to examine that statement too closely.
She was afraid of what she might find if she did.