40. Chapter Thirty-Eight #2
The memory assaulted my mind—my body responding to him, the dampness I’d only ever read about in temple texts, never felt. Not until him. Not until that damnable kiss that had plagued my every thought for the past two weeks.
Shame and desire tangled so tight I couldn’t pull them apart.
Such fine twins, Caelith—no Eisarnach—had said. Godsdamn him for showing me that vision. For making me face my desire for Tairngire, for igniting a spark I’d been trying my very best to snuff out.
“I can fix it for you,” he whispered, edged with heat. “Make it better. Show you what your scandalous temple scrolls could never teach.”
I let out a disgruntled sound. “Fix it? You’re ridiculous. You think every problem can be solved with your arrogance.”
“Not arrogance. Truth.” His thumb traced my cheek, sliding toward my bottom lip. “Your body betrays you. I feel it every time it does, and I’m not strong enough to resist it any longer.”
My mouth went dry at his vulnerability. I met his gaze and cleared my throat. “May I suggest you stop desiring what you can’t have?”
His laugh was dark. “Ahh, but that’s half the fun. I like watching that fire fight the chains your wardens bound you with. And I very much enjoy tempting you to break them.”
I shoved at this chest, not hard enough to move him, just enough to make a point.
“And you,” he continued, his voice dropping so low it made my thighs ache. “Fight yourself harder than you fight me.”
“Perhaps I should fight you.”
He let out a rough chuckle. “You’re welcome to try again. I enjoyed every second of it last time.”
I narrowed my eyes, the words burning on my tongue. How could he help me with anything without taking something from me? I recalled that night by the river, his taunting voice ringing in my ear: It’s a dangerous entanglement.
I swallowed the thought down. He simply continued to chuckle as if he could hear it. And I was starting to think he could hear them…but I was too afraid to ask, I wasn't sure I wanted to know the truth.
“These things,” he said, voice soft, “aren’t answered with word s, Little Seer. They’re better…shown.”
Heat pooled low in my stomach. My voice cracked. “That’s convenient. Another mysterious god answer.”
“Or perhaps,” he murmured, “an invitation.”
Oh…goddess help me.
His lips moved from my ear to my mouth, brushing like a whisper, so gentle I could almost pretend it hadn’t happened. My heart thundered, the air gone from my lungs.
He pushed his tongue past my teeth, opening my mouth and commanding a kiss. His hand slid down my side, slow and purposeful, until I let out a strangled sound I couldn’t hold back.
The vibration of a low groan against my lips sent a shockwave to my core. “You’re trembling,” he murmured. “What are you thinking about, Aurenya?”
My name again. I still wasn't used to the lazy way he said…the way it rolled off his tongue. I was trembling. “I'm thinking about the fact that you’re an awful god.”
“Am I?” he whispered. His teeth grazed my lower lip. “You’d still let me unravel you all the same.”
His mouth slanted hard over mine before I could respond. No hesitation this time. His hand threaded into my hair at the back of my skull, pulling me closer. Another low sound escaped me. My heart stuttered, pulse quickening.
The kiss intensified with hunger, dragging me against him. I clutched his shoulder without thought, my body was already yielding.
For a breathless second, all I tasted was him—heat, pine, raw power. It was all consuming, completely overwhelming, just like the first time his lips had crashed into mine.
I met him there, answering like I’d been waiting lifetimes instead of weeks.
He pulled back just enough to whisper. “Tell me. Will you let me take the edge away?"
My pride screamed no. My body answered yes. I forced the latter out anyway, quiet but certain.
He hummed, satisfied. “Good girl. I knew you would.”
When he claimed my mouth this time there was nothing gentle about it. He stole every ounce of defiance left in me.
He didn’t rush. His lips lingered, ghosting over mine, retreating only to watch me unravel under his calm. With devastating patience, his hand slid from my hair, down my jaw. His thumb brushed my cheek as if testing how fragile I’d let myself be.
“Lie on your back,” he murmured, low and coaxing. His palm guided me until I sank into the sheets. His weight followed close enough that the heat pouring off him burned through my skin.
My nerves chose that moment to make an untimely appearance.
My breathing became labored, and he froze above me.
He cupped my jaw with his strong hand. “Tell me about your reservations.
I can feel your unease through the bond, and I need you to know that I will stop this immediately if you ask me to. "
I exhaled a deep breath, a sense of relief at his sudden seriousness. I knew he meant every word, but I didn't want him to stop. I just needed to know something first…
“I—I want to know why.”
He tilted his head. “Why what, Little Seer?”
“Why me? Why now? You said that you don’t bed mortals…that it’s a dangerous entanglement. But you continuously try to seduce me. I want to know why.”
“Because you are the strongest mortal I’ve ever met.” He answered without hesitation, my heart pounded so loudly I’m sure he could hear it, with or without the bond.
I’d never heard him speak this way. With soft reverence, no bite or teasing tone. He looked down at me with a rare vulnerability shining in his gaze.
“You are purity incarnate, and do not mistake me, I don't mean that in the literal sense of the word, although you are untouched. I have lived for centuries, and never have I known a soul so deeply…never have I seen a fire burn more perfectly than the one in your heart. And those things have nothing to do with the bond that tethers our souls.”
He grazed my cheek with the back of his knuckles and shook his head.
“You don’t even realize your potential, who you are.
Tonight you managed to bring a room full of divine blood to heel.
You want to know why I disappear so often?
Ever since I saw the forest come to your aid in Caer Anam, my ability to maintain control around you has been… difficult. That is why I leave you.”
He brought his forehead to mine “You see, I have a fierce desire to protect you, bring you pleasure and set you ablaze.
The Old Gods be damned. You have driven me mad, beyond the point of reason.
So, please…" his voice was raw, threaded with an emotion I couldn't put a name to.
"Allow me to take care of you. Just this once.”
The words awoke something dormant inside of me.
A shiver went down my spine as his green eyes glowed faint in the dark.
He looked at me as if I were something sacred, like every word he spoke had a deeper meaning I couldn’t truly understand.
Maybe I never would, and that was the danger of all of this.
He pulled back just enough so that his eyes could search mine. “Do you trust me?”
In that moment, I forgot all our previous conversations, all the times he left for weeks. All I could think of was the way he felt above me, his heartbeat in sync with mine and the honesty shown in his forest-fire eyes.
Various words tangled in my throat. I was unable to speak them, but I arched the barest fraction toward him. After a speech like that? He could do whatever he wanted.
I wanted his touch more than I wanted my next breath. This god would burn me to ashes and I suddenly couldn’t care less. Against my better judgement, I trusted him with everything I had. Tomorrow, he would no doubt return to his incorrigible ways, but tonight—I would take everything he offered.
Just this once.
I didn’t even have to say anything, I sent my answer through the bond. He picked up on it instantly and smiled knowingly—he’d pulled truth from me without needing my voice.
“You’ve been burning since I first saw you at that rite. And I’ve thought about what would happen…if you finally let yourself feel without your Sight to guide you.”
His hand mapped my ribs, unhurried, like he was committing me to memory. When his palm pressed at my waist, a whimper slipped before I could stop it. His eyes locked to mine.
He lowered his head, lips brushing my jaw, teasing with kisses that never landed. His voice curled into my ear like smoke.
“You’ve never touched yourself like this, have you?”
The question was a low taunt. My body went rigid, breath catching in humiliation. I could feel blood race to my cheeks.
He drew back just enough to catch it. His mouth curved into a devilish smirk, all the vulnerability from moments ago gone in a flash, replaced by his unbridled confidence. His thumb stroked across my burning cheek, eyes gleaming with wicked amusement.
“Oh,” he murmured, low and dangerous, almost a laugh. “You haven’t. No wonder you burn so easily.”
I wanted to slap the smirk off his face, but my body betrayed me, arching under his hand. His chuckle rumbled deep, curling through me like fire.
“So very needy.” His hand trailed from my jaw all the way down my stomach, dragging out the torment. My breath stuttered, anticipation clawing.
He paused. “Patience, Little Seer,” he said, tone sinful as it was soft. “Mortals say it’s a virtue, no?”
I was going to kill him before he could bring me the pleasure he guaranteed. For real this time.
But then he pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and I forgot what I’d been thinking. A frustrated sound tore from me, breathless. “Spoken like a god who enjoys taunting mortals.”
He hummed. “She’s catching on.”
Before I could retort another kiss landed, lower. His teeth scraped against my pulse point, making me shiver.
By the time his mouth reached my collarbone every doubt I had dissolved. I gave into the sensation of him. He kissed the hollow there, lingering. My pulse hammered against his lips.