Chapter 28
‘Don’t. You will get everyone killed,’ Torgrin’s voice murmured in my ear.
I don’t know where he had come from, but he was directly behind me. King Hared dropped his hand from my waist and narrowed his eyes. Had he heard Torgrin? I held my breath, trapped between the two men.
‘Who are you?’ the king demanded sharply.
Torgrin stepped back and bowed. ‘I’m Captain Torgrin, Your Majesty. I escorted Lady Bethel here. My men and I will accompany her until Lord Warwick arrives.’
‘Is that right?’ King Hared’s eyes narrowed as he weighed Torgrin’s words.
Torgrin’s tone was no more self-assured than usual, but the king – who was once a general – would hear the command in it as I did.
I should say something to get the king’s attention away from Torgrin before we ruined everything, but I couldn’t find my tongue.
All of my focus was on holding back the Darkness wanting to destroy Merrick where he sat.
‘Caris, come here!’ came Bethel’s annoyed voice. ‘Come sit, you clumsy oaf,’ she added. For once, I was thankful for Bethel’s unpleasant manner. She might have just averted a catastrophe.
The king moved his attention from Torgrin and held out a hand to me. I stared at it, not sure what I was supposed to do. Unintentionally, I had garnered the king’s attention, and everyone was now watching to see what I would do about it.
‘Thank you, Your Majesty,’ I murmured shakily, placing my hand in his and letting him lead me to my chair. I kept my gaze down, terrified I would lose control and do something I would regret.
I sat next to Bethel and kept my eyes on the plate before me as I tried to control the emotions engulfing me.
Four seats away was the man who had thrown a sword into my mother’s back as she tried to flee.
Those icy blue eyes had haunted my dreams as a child.
It wasn’t until I picked up a sword and imagined killing him that the nightmares finally stopped.
I was finally close enough to end him and I could do nothing about it.
His robes and position next to King Hared told me he was an essential member of the Order of Men.
The weight of the oath I had sworn to Lord Warwick kept me in my chair.
I couldn’t risk Bethel’s safety or Cillian’s chance to rescue Queen Yaris.
The king believed me to be Lord Warwick’s ward and Bethel’s lady-in-waiting.
Reaching into my boot and using my father’s dagger to slit a man’s throat at the king’s table would risk far more than my own life.
Bethel babbled away to Goodwin, who appeared indifferent to his betrothed. I forced myself to raise a fork to my mouth, chew and swallow. I could not say what I ate; the food was ash in my mouth.
Torgrin had taken a seat at a table close by. He watched us while ignoring the noblewoman seated next to him, who was vying for his attention. Torgrin picked up his fork and gave me a tight smile. His eyes warned me to stay in control.
A herald announced that it was time for the dancing to begin. Like an orchestrated group, everyone rose to move into the ballroom.
My head snapped to where he was, and I saw his black robes disappear through the exit. I battled with the Darkness urging me to go after him.
The king caught my eye and rose to offer his arm. I had no choice but to take it. I felt Bethel’s eyes boring into the back of my head as she and Goodwin followed the king and me into the ballroom.
Before I realised what was happening, King Hared drew me into the centre of the room just as the minstrels began to play a fast dance melody.
‘I’m a terrible dancer!’ I panicked.
‘Really? I doubt that,’ the king murmured, pulling me to him.
The other dancers began a complicated reel, but he held me and swayed. I looked up at the king. It was a foreign feeling, and I didn’t like him towering over me.
‘Tell me about yourself, Lady Caris.’
‘There’s not much more to tell beyond what Lady Bethel has already said. I’m not very interesting,’ I said, feeling that the less I said, the better.
‘You are being intentionally mysterious.’ One corner of his lips lifted as if he liked the idea that I was being coy.
I shook my head and tried to smile shyly as I imagined an innocent lady would.
‘You remind me of someone,’ he said with a furrowed brow.
‘Who?’ I asked, feigning interest.
‘I don’t know. Did your parents come to court often?’
‘Rarely. They weren’t very social people.’ I needed to get his attention off me before I said something that would catch me in a lie.
‘Where is Queen Yaris tonight?’ Maybe he would reveal something that could help the rescue efforts.
‘Have you not heard?’ he asked.
I shook my head innocently.
‘The corruption of the soul that has befallen so many women has afflicted our queen.’ He spoke as if it were an illness. ‘She was one of the first souls corrupted, but I could not bring myself to do more than restrict her Curse so she could not harm herself or others.’
How gracious of him. I tried not to roll my eyes. So this was the lie he and the Order had fabricated. Had Queen Yaris gotten in the way of their plans to wipe out the Cursed?
King Hared seemed to enjoy talking, so I prodded for more with wide eyes. ‘Queen Yaris is Cursed?’
‘Yes. The Order has told me my soul and my kingdom are at risk every day I allow her to live.’ He made it sound like he had no choice, but I couldn’t shake the thought he was only trying to appear innocent so he’d be free to do exactly as he pleased.
I nodded sadly, hoping he would keep talking. His eyes dropped to my mouth, and disgust turned my stomach.
‘Do you know what a soul is?’ he asked.
I widened my eyes as if I wanted nothing more than to have my king enlighten me. Where was this conversation going?
‘It is the essence we are born with. Each soul is pure and light unless we choose the darkness. Women are weaker souls, so they succumb to the darkness more easily than men. As men, our souls are also at risk if we let the darkness grow strong in those around us.’
I bristled inwardly at the notion women were weaker. But was he talking about the same Darkness from which I drew my power?
‘What happens to the soul if it isn’t light anymore?’
‘Then that soul isn’t reborn.’
‘Reborn?’ I asked, genuinely confused this time.
‘Only souls filled with light will be reborn over and over, living forever in the light.’
I remembered the women hanging from the gallows at the entrance of his city, their loved ones crying at their swinging feet. What happened to them was true darkness.
King Hared watched my face closely as I tried to hide my anger.
‘Why is there more darkness in people’s souls now?’
‘You are clever.’ He brushed a strand of hair away from my face, and I had to resist the urge to turn his hand to ash.
‘Because the darkest of them all is coming. The Order of Men has been watching for signs. After years of drought in the south, the days are getting shorter, and the nights are getting longer. When she comes, there will be no light, no day. She will come and take my throne, and it will be the end of Pedion.’
He had either truly been indoctrinated or was insane.
Thankfully, he misread my expression. ‘Don’t be afraid, Lady Caris. I will never let the Cursed One take what is mine.’
The music ended, and the couples who had danced in the reel were dispersing.
‘If you would like to learn more, Lady Caris, I would happily escort you to Brother Merrick’s morning sermons.’
I would rather stab a darning needle in my ear.
‘You are too kind, Your Majesty, but as you know, I’m here as Bethel’s lady-in-waiting, and I must remain at her side.’
The king finally released me and, with a curtsy that Ania would be pleased with, I left to weave through the drunken nobles to find Torgrin.
He was watching Bethel closely as she received offers to dance. Soon she was twirling around the dance floor when the music began again.
‘King Hared sure likes to preach on behalf of the Order,’ I muttered so only he could hear me. Torgrin clenched his jaw and remained silent, while we stood side by side.
Torgrin’s silence rankled. I had kept myself in check – at least outwardly – when he had warned me. Did he not understand what it took for me to do nothing at the sight of Merrick? Why was he angry with me?
It was late when we got back to the Warwick family rooms. I strode past Bethel and Torgrin to my bedchamber. I was removing my boots when Torgrin came crashing through my door. He came right up to me and pulled me to my feet.
‘What in damnation were you thinking, Caris?’ he gritted out, holding my upper arms in a death grip. I ignored the pain of his fingers digging into me. ‘You’re supposed to keep a low profile and watch Bethel. Instead, you’re dancing with the king!’ He lightly shook me as he spoke.
‘Did you know he was here?’ The words were bitter on my tongue.
‘Caris …’ He let go of my arms and ran his hands through his hair.
‘Did you?’ I shouted.
‘No!’ he yelled back. ‘Of course not,’ he said, lowering his voice and fighting to regain control.
‘I sat there and did nothing! I just let him live!’ I pushed my palms into the sides of my head and squeezed tight. Torgrin pulled my punishing hands away from my temples.
‘You can’t attack him, Caris. You will put all of us in jeopardy if you kill King Hared’s right hand.’
‘Stop telling me what I can and can’t do!’ I shook off his hands.
‘Would you risk the lives of the whole Warwick family? And what about you? You think they would let you walk free if you just up and killed Merrick?’
I looked at him, feeling guilty. I would never risk the lives of any member of the Warwick family – even Bethel.
‘I don’t know if I can control it.’ I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the Darkness pressing me to search out Merrick even now.
‘Yes, you can, Caris. You did it tonight and I’m grateful for it.
You have been searching for Merrick, and here he is, and it kills me that I’m asking you to let that piece of shit breathe for another second.
’ His hands came up to cup my face. ‘I promise I will help you end him when the time is right.’
I had less control than he gave me credit for. I might need more than his promise. ‘You are asking too much of me,’ I growled.
He dropped his hands from my face. ‘Don’t you think I want the man dead too? The things he did to me and Atlas when I was too young to stop him still haunt me.’
His raw admission was a cold bucket of water to my anger, and the Darkness retreated. ‘Torgrin?’ I reached for him, but he stepped back, his fists tightly clenched at his sides.
‘We need to stick to the plan and leave here alive. You need to stay away from Merrick.’
It would take every ounce of self-control I possessed to stop me from finding the man and burying my father’s knife in him. But for Torgrin, I would wait.
He ran his fingers through his hair, causing the inky strands to stick out in every direction. ‘You have garnered King Hared’s interest and it must stop. We can’t have him discovering what you are capable of.’
His words stung because I hadn’t deliberately sought out King Hared’s attention.
Torgrin walked to the door. ‘Bethel did as I asked, and the king is allowing her to see Queen Yaris tomorrow. I want you to be there,’ he said, the order in his tone clear.
I turned my back on him. He exhaled harshly before opening the door and leaving. His boots echoed down the corridor before I heard the main door open and close.
I woke in the middle of the night from a fretful sleep to see that Torgrin had come to my bed.
Despite how unsettled things were between us, I didn’t resist when he pulled me into his arms. Like a soothing balm, his presence allowed me to fall into a more restful sleep.
When I woke in the morning, he was gone.