fifty
We were called to city hall for a press conference early that morning. All we were told was that there was an announcement that would be broadcast around the world.
I remember huddling with Xavier in the corner. We both wore our uniforms and had guns strapped over our shoulders, blades tucked into our belts. It was risky having that many people gather in one place, hadn’t been done in years. So they wanted the soldiers there, just in case.
And if we were attacked and the soldiers died, then what would they do?
I scoffed at the thought, and couldn’t help the feeling that crawled up my spine. The hairs on my skin raising one by one until I turned to look at him. He was beautiful. Golden hair sat in curls on his forehead. He looked like any typical lawyer, and if I had only glanced at him for a moment, I might’ve thought that he was.
A feeling overcame me, a sense of dread that piled in my stomach. There was something about him that told me I should scream, that I should tell everybody in the room to run.
Then he disappeared into the crowd, only to re-emerge right before me.
Xavier walked away, as if he had somewhere else to be. I felt an overwhelming need to grab my weapon, to drive it into the man’s chest and hope that we could all make it out alive.
He was an angel and I knew it. From the moment I met him, I knew what he was.
But before I could attack, before I could scream, I lost myself.
My thoughts were no longer my own, my mind stained with possession.
I remember it so clearly now.
He told me to trust, so I did.
He told me to feel safe, so I did.
He told me to love, so I did.
The entire fabric of my reality crumbles before me, the lies weaving my mind together unravelling until there is nothing but the truth.
One by one, the memories of our life together begin to burn away into ash. The smiles, the happiness, the trust – it’s an image that’s replaced by dark shadows and claws. The moment we met was not love at first sight. When he spoke to me, I thought that it was odd; that he was odd. Then the dark voice told me to trust. Told me to lust. And I did.
I was held prisoner in my mind for two years. I remember it now, the tiny voice in the back of my mind that screamed in agony as I lost myself in him. That screamed at me to wake up from his hold when he would take me to bed.
For two years I have been beside this man while he took hold of my mind.
Heat rushes up my body, tingling my skin as fury takes over. The invisible rope that tightened around my torso disappears, his hold on me along with it.
This can’t be real. This can’t be real. This can’t be real.
I hit the side of my head with the palm of my hand over and over as the words repeat and the memories flood back. Every single one of them.
Every time he would kiss me and my hand would itch for a blade that my mind told me didn’t exist. Every time I would tell him I loved him while my brain screamed at me to show him my hatred.
Then it dawns on me. The thought that pushes me over the edge, that destroys the very fabric of my being.
Nathaniel must have known. This whole time, Nathaniel must have known.
I become hollow in that moment. I hear my name said in desperation somewhere far away, through the flooding of my memories putting themselves back together.
My scream is visceral. A screeching sound that echoes through the warehouse. Light floods the space around us, and I close my eyes as I drop to my knees. I raise my hands to the sides of my head and squeeze, a desperate attempt to stop the loudness of my mind. It’s too much. It’s all too much.
“I can’t.”
The words come out between breathless sobs as Nathaniel’s hand leaves his imprint on my shoulder, but I shake him off.
I try to force my eyes to open as the last of the memories drift through my mind. The world around me spins into a blur of light-flooded colours.
Two indistinct figures stand in front of me. One holds a sword to the other’s throat. Worry is etched on both their faces.
One of the figures is familiar; white wings dusted with silver grow from his back. The other is a stranger to me. His blue wings have white laced through each feather.
My sobs slow, my breathing steadies, and the heartbreak that threatens to destroy me is replaced by anger.
“I don’t understand,”
is all I manage to say. Though it’s not entirely true – I see things clearer than I have in years. The only question I really have is why?
Jeremy tucks his wings behind his back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why don’t you tell her, archangel?”
Nathaniel tears his gaze away from Jeremy for the first time, but leaves the sword pressed against his neck. “Amara, do you remember what I said about trusting me?”
My reply is venomous. “This is not the time to call in the trust card.”
Nathaniel takes a sharp breath, shaking his head slightly. “I told you the story of Raphael and Athena, how they were together as lovers. That they had a daughter.”
“The girl the fates chose for you,” I finish.
“They knew Lilith had spies in Aetheria. They knew they were going to die. When their daughter was all but two, they brought her to Earth. They took her memories and gave her to an adoption agency. She grew up as a human, amongst humans.”
He pauses as if waiting for my reaction, but all I do is stare. If I dare to move, I’ll break into a hundred pieces.
“That girl is prophesied not just to be my Aeterna, but to be the most powerful angel of our time. She is the one who will end the war and save us all.”
It’s as if he expects me to rejoice, to be thankful that the woman he is destined for is supposedly going to save the world. As if the war is even on my mind in this moment.
“What does this have to do with anything?”
Nathaniel mutters a curse and runs his fingers through his hair, leaving it standing up at weird angles. “Amara, your parents died when you were two. Do you have any pictures of them? Any memories of what they looked like?”
I shake my head, my free hand massaging my temple again.
“Did you ever wonder why you were so drawn to the angels when they arrived? Why you weren’t surprised by our existence? Why do you think my touch burns your skin?”
“Stop.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, but I stumble and sway on my feet. My mind spins yet again, sharp pain spiking through my temples.
“When we found you two years ago, Jeremiah was sent to protect you. He was supposed to be close enough to make sure that you were safe.”
Nathaniel’s words come out as meaningless noise, and I shake my head to get rid of the migraine.
“About a week ago, we had suspicions that Jeremiah had turned, that Cain had got to him.”
Not Jeremy, Jeremiah. “When I found you in the train station, I knew it was time to tell you. I just… didn’t know how to get you to trust me.”
My eyes snap open, my hand dropping from my head and my lips curling into a snarl. “And you thought this was it? Letting him take control of my mind for years and then lying to me about it for the past week?”
The archangel reaches for me, but I evade his touch. I turn to walk away from them – but my cheek meets something hard.
I take several steps back and look up. Striking silver eyes stare down at me, framed by hair to match. Two large wings stretch out behind him, each feather a sharp blade of metal. Knives in the forms of wings.
Cain’s lips curve up into a sinister smile as we come face to face.