Chapter 37 #2
Lifting the lantern higher, I ran to the front of the room. Crumbling rocks were all that remained—no signs of pageantry or ornate decor. Only remnants of the mountains’ past and the thudding of my second pulse.
“What’s wrong?” Tol asked.
“There’s nothing here,” I mumbled, my shoulders dropping.
“What did you expect?” Tolek asked, roaming the stage space in the dark, running his hands over the walls.
“I…don’t know. More than this, though.”
Still, a theater within the mountains was curious.
“What’s this?” he called.
As I got closer, mystlight spilled over a large pile of rocks—
“A statue?”
Seven weathered figures circled around an eighth, that larger one absorbing their attention like a beacon in the night. Some were broken—one appeared to be headless, another with black moss creeping across its body—but no features were discernible in any of them.
They all appeared to be either on the verge of bowing or rising, immortalized in this indiscernible moment in between. Goosebumps prickled across my skin, the second pulse racing faster than the first.
I stretched up to drag my finger along the edge of the closest figure. When flesh met stone, my skin seared. My necklace with it.
“Fucking Angels,” I hissed, shaking my hand. Sapphire whinnied, nudging me.
“What happened?” Tol wrapped my hand in his, looking between the wall and my blistered finger. “It did that?”
Tenderly, he took the lantern from my other hand and inspected the burn. It was already healing, but the throbbing remained.
“It didn’t do anything to me,” he mused.
“I guess it chose me.” I shrugged.
He wasn’t fooled by my attempt to make light of the occurrence. His eyes narrowed at the rock as if he’d jump between me and it, but then he stepped back.
I took the lantern and swept it over the statue and surrounding area one more time, bending to inspect the base and circling it, looking for anything suspicious. Lips pursed, I turned to Tol. He stood with his hands clasped behind his back, watching me.
“What if—”
He tilted his head when I paused. “If?”
Theories swirled in my head, but none of them made sense. And none of them could be explained in full until I saw Damien again and asked what his warning meant.
“Never mind.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what it is.”
“We can stay and figure it out, if you’d like.”
Looking back at the statue, I knew. Staying would provide no answers. Whatever once lived here had long turned to dust.
“Let’s continue,” I conceded.
“Good.” He sighed, relieved. “This place doesn’t feel right.”
There was a piece of me that longed to pick apart this cavern, but instead I grasped Tol’s hand again and chose one of the tunnels on gut instinct.
The farther we marched away, the more my second pulse dulled. I allowed the darkness to swallow the statue and hopefully bury its heated presence in my memory.
Tolek was quiet as we settled in an offshoot of the main tunnel to get some rest. I hadn’t a clue how deep we ventured into the mountains, but Sapphire had chosen our last few turns, and I trusted her instincts.
“What’re you thinking?” I asked.
He seemed to consider his words for a minute. He pointed to the sleeping mat he set out, telling me to take it.
Knowing he wouldn’t give me an answer unless I laid down, I did.
“I meant what I said, Ophelia.” He settled on the dirt, using my cloak as a pillow. “Before I left.”
The lantern flickered behind me, casting shadows on his face.
“Which part?” My heart fluttered against my chest, and I fidgeted under his gaze, hair falling over my shoulder and across my cheek.
As tentative as a frightened animal and with a hesitancy so unlike Tolek Vincienzo, he reached up, catching the strand and tucking it behind my ear.
It was a question, one that lingered as his thumb gently grazed my jaw.
The things we shared at Wayward, our kiss, had been full of racing emotions and fears.
Now, as we lay secluded from the world, we slowed down.
I hardly dared to move, unable to, allowing Tol’s heavy stare to take all it wanted from me.
He must have found whatever he needed because he said, “All of it.”
His hand slid from my face to the cave floor between us. Without a word, I moved to the edge of the sleeping mat, making room.
“I told you to take it,” he said.
“I want you here.”
He smiled at that, and though I didn’t have an explicit answer for him, he understood.
Our faces were close enough now that I could see the amber specks in his eyes even in the lamplight. They were full of questions, but no demand for answers. The decisions, the control, were all mine.
It was different than the challenges while we rode Sapphire and the gentle kiss we exchanged. This was intimate. Real. Two people, breaking down their walls with small gestures and few words, waiting to see what happened. Sometimes, quiet moments spoke louder than words.
I wasn’t ready to make decisions in this dim cave with enemies breathing down our necks. But Tol’s hand lay between us, so I hooked my pinkie through his, returning the relieved smile that lifted his lips.
“Good night, Vincienzo.”
“Good night, Alabath.”
It seemed like I’d barely shut my eyes when my hand was tugged to the side, caught by something.
A deep shout dragged me from sleep.
Beside me, Tol thrashed, my hand still in his grip. “Stop, stop! They don’t—”
His eyes clenched tighter, sweat beading across his brow.
“Tol!” I shook his shoulder.
“Please,” he begged. “I’m—I promise—”
“Tol, wake up!” I pleaded, and his eyes popped open.
He shot upright, breath as wild as his eyes, searching the cavern.
When they landed on me, his shoulders relaxed slightly. He pulled me toward him, lips pressing to the top of my head, breathing me in.
“It’s okay.” I squeezed him tighter. He cradled me against his chest, his spicy citrus scent enveloping me, my ear filled with his racing heart. “I’m here. It’s okay.”
We stayed like that, his arms banded around me, one of my hands wrapped around his neck, until his breathing returned to normal.
“What was that?” I whispered finally, pushing back to look up into his eyes. The brown hues were dull, no dancing amber flecks winking at me. “Nightmares?”
He swallowed, voice shaking. “Since the Undertaking.”
The shame coating his words made me sick, but I remembered his pain when receiving the Bond. How the needle was excruciating against his skin.
The truth clicked into place.
Where my Undertaking had been cleansing, his had challenged him in a different way entirely. Fear flashed behind his eyes—the pain of whatever the ritual had put him through echoing in his mind and body as he relived it.
I haven’t slept well since we’ve been here, he’d said to me in the kitchens the morning after Renaiss.
Because of the Undertaking and whatever trauma the damn Spirits put on his soul.
I couldn’t understand it; how they found misguided tragedies to torture his innocent mind within a sacred test meant to prove your worth.
When he’d admitted his sleeping troubles to me, I hadn’t assumed he meant this.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, prodding him to slice open that wound and pour out some of the toxins between us so I could help him siphon them off.
“My experience wasn’t as…positive as yours.” His voice faltered over the end of his sentence.
“I’m sorry it was like that for you.” I held my palm to his cheek, turning his gaze to me. Spirits, why would they beat him down like this? “It’s so much less than you deserve. But if there comes a time when you want to share it, I’m here.”
“I think that’s against the rules.” He attempted to joke, but it was dull.
“I don’t much like following the rules,” I whispered, dragging my thumb across his cheekbone.
A small smile quirked his lips. He scooted us back toward the wall, and—arms holding me firmly—we fell into a contemplative silence.
There was something I was more certain of now than ever—even if I didn’t have Damien’s warning in my head, I couldn’t tell Tolek about the Angelcurse. He was already fighting so many silent battles, I wouldn’t add mine to his conscience.
Once I knew what it meant, formulated a plan, and confirmed that Damien’s threat was nothing but overbearing privacy, I’d tell him everything. Pour every secret between us so we weren’t tainted by them.
But right now, sheltered in this cave in the safety of each other’s arms, I wouldn’t take away what little peace he was able to find.
He deserved all the happiness the Spirits could offer, and I promised myself I’d ensure it. I’d never again hear that jagged scream from his throat, as awful as the ones I’d heard—
“Is that what the Mindshapers did to you?” I asked.
He stilled, then hummed. “Hm?”
I pushed up to look into his eyes, dissect that stare I knew better than most.
“That’s how I found you. I heard you scream, and it sounded like…” The terror echoed his nightmares. “When I found you, though, you weren’t being harmed.” Not recently, at least.
“I wasn’t being tortured physically.” His eyes closed, forehead dropped against mine. “They used their…tricks. Made me relive some of my most horrifying memories and things I fear might happen.”
The fucking Mindshapers.
My stomach churned with his confession. I’d forgotten how the minor clan’s power could manipulate magic within the mind. It was usually reserved for instilling peace, but they could drag up his terror, feed it to him. If one of those warriors was corrupt, their power became inhumane.
I was glad I’d killed them; if given the chance, I’d do it again.
Tol’s hand shook against mine, calling me down from my carnal revenge and back to who needed me.
“It’s all right.” I ran a hand down his arm. “You’re here. You survived.”
He nodded, the tremors slowly stopping. “Thanks for saving me.”
I didn’t tell him he was wrong. While I may have been the one to ride to his rescue, Tolek had been saving me from myself for years.