Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Ophelia
I’d been halfway to Malakai to make my next apology. We may have torn each other apart, but we had a deeper understanding when it came to secrets and lies, he and I. Now that I wasn’t at the brunt of his, I saw that.
I’d wanted to tell him that.
Instead, lingering stares were burning into me, waiting to see whose hand I took.
A cowardly part of me considered turning to Cypherion, asking him to play the part so I wouldn’t send a mistaken signal to the swarm of warriors lining the ballroom. But Cyph was oblivious to my current debate, his eyes on Vale. I would not be selfish enough to steal that chance from him.
I forced my smile not to falter. One more second. That was all I had to make my choice; image or heart, which should I choose?
I closed my eyes, inhaling the hot summer air rich with wine and flowers.
Why did it have to be one or the other? Choosing between the symbol of hope or what I desired. Malakai and I had been a promise our entire lives, a vision for the future of Mystiques, but I could still be one without him—I was still one.
I caught Malakai’s gaze from the corner. He lifted his glass to me and a gentle nudge hit my Bind. That, combined with his smile—a genuine one for once—banished my uncertainty.
Dipping my chin, I focused my attention on the Bind and tried to send the words I’d planned to say to him. Thank you for everything you’ve sacrificed. For fighting for us all and teaching me what love was. I understand. And I’m sorry.
I’d never know if he felt it, but he nodded, and the leash around my heart snapped.
“May I have this dance?” a voice asked from behind me, coaxing my nerves off the edge. Tolek stood waiting, hair combed back, bowing slightly, a hand extended.
Relief unspooled within me, champagne bubbles fizzling away in my stomach.
He was here. Despite my secrets and omissions, he still held his hand out to me.
For a moment, I was taken back to my birthday. Before any visits from Damien, before the Undertaking and the fallout of Kakias and Lucidius’s truth, when I was merely facing a cursed death in a matter of days, and Tol had extended his hand.
But this offer meant more, as it meant more when I slid my fingers between his and said, “Of course you may.”
As he led me onto the floor, I caught my father’s eye across the room.
He gave me a soft smile, pride pouring from him as he watched his daughter choose her own happiness.
He lifted a hand, waved goodbye, and disappeared out the door to make his way to the temple.
For an unknown reason, tears lined my eyes.
But before I could indulge them, the music picked up, and we were turning about the room. Tol’s chocolate irises burned with those amber specks, and my heart fluttered like an Angel’s wings. His lips quirked up at one corner, as if he heard it.
“This is long overdue,” I commented.
“What’s that?” He slid his hand around my waist, pressing it gently into the small of my back.
“The dance. From my birthday.”
He guided us effortlessly around the floor, without taking his eyes off me. “I would have danced with you all night.”
“I know.” I bit my lip, and his eyes flicked down to it.
As if on instinct, he pulled me closer until there was no space between us, the champagne fabric of my gown doing nothing to stifle his heat.
The arches of beading throughout channeled it, and though the gown made me feel like a vision born of Angellight, I wasn’t sure if I was grateful or furious with Jezebel for choosing such a thin material that every inch of his body scorched mine.
His gaze dropped for the briefest second. When it lifted, his eyes burned with need, tracing over the thin straps and low neckline.
“You’re beautiful,” Tol exhaled.
“You’re not half bad yourself, Vincienzo.” Unlike many, he’d gone without a jacket, wearing a white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Leave it to Tolek to add his own take to even the most reverent of holidays.
I wouldn’t have him any other way.
“I know,” he replied with a wink. But then, his face fell slightly. “I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier.”
“You had every right to be angry with me.” I tilted my head up. “I’d placed a value on honesty and then didn’t show it.” He deserved better.
“Correct,” he agreed. “I have a right to be upset.” I was glad he didn’t try to placate me.
“But I shouldn’t have walked away without an explanation.
Why did you hide this prophecy from me, though?
” Me. Not us. He understood why I didn’t share all my secrets with the entire council, with all of our friends.
But the pain rounding the edges of his question—it was personal.
Tol’s heart ached because I kept the threat from him.
“I know it wasn’t just the warning. That wouldn’t be enough to stop you from doing what you wanted without an explanation. ”
“I wanted to tell you, Tol. So many times. But I was afraid of what it meant for you. Speaking it made it feel real. And then, once I thought maybe it would be okay—” I thought of those thrashing nightmares he fought off in the cave.
“You already had enough to worry about. I didn’t want to make it worse. ”
“I’ll worry a lot less if I know what’s going on.” He lifted our clasped hands to brush a strand of hair out of my face. “You can share anything with me. I’m not going anywhere.” As if to prove it, he squeezed me to him. “By your side, infinitely, remember?”
I had known that for a while—since the day he jumped in front of Victious’s ax for me, and truthfully much longer than that. But the reminder that I wasn’t alone settled in my chest, prying some of my headstrong habits from me.
I let them go, promising to myself—to Tol—to do better. To be worthy of his honest heart.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m still not used to someone carrying burdens with me.” For years, I had shouldered my frustrations alone, refusing to acknowledge those who longed to help.
Tol spun me as the music whirled, and when I settled back in his arms, he promised, “Your curses aren’t burdens. We’ll conquer the Angels together, Alabath.”
Together.
I wanted together with Tol. That truth slammed into me, enough to stop my feet from moving, but he continued to carry us across the floor.
“I told you I don’t lie to you. I only ask that you do the same.” The weight of that request gathered in the sliver of space between us. I moved closer, swallowing it.
“No lies,” I swore to him. “And no omissions.”
“No lies, and no omissions,” he repeated, and it sealed like a promise. Like the thousands we’d exchanged in our short lives. The certainty that we would trust each other, be honest with each other no matter what, soldered a few of my broken pieces back together.
Tol’s body was firm against mine, and the thoughts it dragged to the surface were enough to cause my cheeks to heat.
He was giving me a questioning stare, one brow raised.
His thumb dragged absent-minded circles around the base of my spine.
Desire unlike anything I’d felt before burned through me, and I forgot what we were talking about.
Every thought, every inch of awareness focused on those slow motions and where else I wanted to feel them.
The music faded, but neither of us pulled away.
I was distantly aware of Missyneth announcing that the council was ready for my promenade from the palace to the Sacra Temple. That everyone was to congregate in the streets to line the path. That I was needed.
“I should—”
“Wait,” Tol interrupted. He looked at the crowd now filtering around us and the curious stares we were drawing. “Come with me first.”
Grabbing Angelborn and Starfire awkwardly in one hand while Tolek clutched the other, I followed him unquestioningly.
He spun me into an empty bathing chamber, closing the door and shutting out the train of voices parading through the palace. Leaning against the dark wood, he lowered his chin and took a breath, his thumb brushing over my knuckles as he thought, collecting himself before me.
Slowly, I set my weapons down on the counter and sidled toward him, not stopping until I stood against him, our hands locked.
His forehead lowered to mine, and we remained like that, eyes closed, breathing each other in.
For a moment, the threats on my shoulders fell away, the world fell away.
It was only me and my tether to reality, holding me here to stop me from floating off into the clouded fear of what waited.
To stop me from disappearing from myself and him.
With each exhale, the questions faded, my senses becoming overwhelmed with Tolek instead.
The sound of his heart pounding, and the way it sent mine fluttering.
The gentle drag of his fingertips down my arm, and the goosebumps left in their wake.
The soft strands of his hair when I lifted my hand to the back of his neck, my fingers aching to dig in deeper.
I swallowed the feeling that we stood on the edge of something monumental.
Tol sighed when my nails grazed his skin, his breath ghosting over my lips. “Spirits, Alabath. The things you do to me.” His hands snapped to my waist, tugging my hips flush against his so I felt every hard inch of what I did to him. Heat pooled low within me.
But it was more than the physical desire between us. That had been there for some time now, though I’d tried to say it was nothing.
With Tolek, there was so much more—a deeper connection built through years of steadfast friendship, endless support, and understanding. Always understanding when I was rash or fiery or teary-eyed, but without a fear of prodding me when I needed it.
That was what scared me.
Because there was so much more between us than the current moment. And if we took that step, that one final step, it would forever shatter what we had. I had seen enough ruins in recent years. I wasn’t sure if my heart could face any more.