Chapter 34 Gone to California
Gone to California
Hokū: star
On the plane ride back to California a few days after the roughwater swim, Minnow leaned her forehead against the cool window
and stared down at feathery white cloud fields opening to patches of ocean far below. Her mother’s card burned a hole in her
thigh. Cliff had given it to her this morning, suggesting she read it alone.
The goodbye had been rough. How could she even thank the Kaupiko brothers? In all honesty, it felt as though they had given
Minnow her life back. In such a short time, the Kaupikos had become family to her. And for a girl with hardly any family,
that was a big deal. Some said it was a Hawai?i thing, and that Hawaiians, if they like you, will welcome you into their homes
with more aloha than you’d know what to do with. Maybe that was true, but Minnow knew it had more to do with the ocean. The same salt water
ran through all three of their veins. Nalu’s too. She loved that kid—man—whatever. And then there was Luke. Leaving him had
felt unnatural in a way that caused an actual physical ache beneath her ribs.
“Water or passion-orange juice?” the flight attendant asked.
“Passion-orange, thank you.”
Minnow downed the juice, wiped her hands and pulled the card out from the envelope. On the front was a quote from S?ren Kierkegaard.
Life can only be understood backwards;
but it must be lived forwards.
When she opened the card, a photo fell out into her lap. Square, black-and-white, faded. Right away Minnow recognized it was
a baby picture of herself, wide eyes looking into the camera with uncanny awareness. Layla had always said Minnow was an old
soul, and that picture made her think that, yes, maybe she was.
Dear Cliff,
It feels like another lifetime ago that I was in Hawai‘i, even though only a few months have passed. I know I said I wouldn’t
be writing anymore, but I couldn’t help myself. My daughter is here and she’s perfect! She came out kicking, literally, and
moving her arms like she was trying to swim, which she probably was. They tell me babies do that. As far as newborns go, she
has been remarkably easy. She is quiet and watchful and she loves to lie in her crib and listen to the birds sing, especially
the crows. All mothers think their babies are special, but I swear, mine really is. How did I get so lucky?
When I take her for walks on the beach, her eyes track the waves and she reaches out, grabbing for the water.
There is such wonder there, it seems unusual.
And maybe I’m crazy (actually, I know I am), but I think she remembers our swims out front of your house.
She wants to get back in the water—I can see it in her eyes.
I have to be honest, it both thrills me and terrifies me.
I have never understood the ocean, never trusted it or loved it the way you do and the way Bruce does. I envy that.
So I’ll get to the point. Would you give her a Hawaiian middle name? Please! I might have to fight Bruce on this, because
he wants her middle name to be Sofia, after his grandmother, but it would mean so much to me. A child can have more than one
middle name, can’t they?
All my love.
XO,
Layla and Minnow
Minnow read the letter again and again, as though she might be able to absorb her mother by osmosis. The love Layla had felt
for her oozed off the page. Humbling. All-encompassing. Immense and bright as an exploding star.
But what of a Hawaiian middle name? All her life, Minnow only had one middle name: Sofia. So what had happened? Did he ever
send one? Surely he would have said something about it. Or maybe not. Cliff operated by a different set of rules. Unpredictable
and unknowable.
A while later, when she slid the card back in the envelope, it caught on something. A small piece of folded paper. She pulled
it out. On it were the words:
Ka‘ahupahau. Shark goddess. Guardian to the entrance of Pearl Harbor. I believe she will live up to this name.
Beneath that he had written:
What I never sent your mother but should have. You live up to it.
Aloha, CK
At that moment the plane shuddered, rocking and bucking and creaking through a patch of turbulence, as though the universe was trying to get her attention.
As soon as they made it through, Minnow made a promise to return to Hawai‘i as soon as she could, to that rough and ragged stretch of coastline that would never let her go.
And now, looking backward, she understood why.