Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
The remaining days until Christmas passed in a blur.
It snowed lightly every day, adding layer upon layer.
There was no ice, however, and it snowed slowly enough that the plows were able to keep the streets clear.
It promised to be one of the prettiest Christmases I had ever seen.
Jed was beside himself with excitement. He wanted to know why we hadn’t moved here sooner.
I told him to wait till summer and ask that again.
Rose had always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve.
I wasn’t sure whether that was a tradition left over from her childhood, or if it was her own concoction to get out of the Christmas celebrations with the rest of the family.
Jed and I told her we would celebrate Christmas Eve with her and then spend Christmas Day with the Durkes.
Donnie came with us a day or so before and formally invited her to come over Christmas Day.
As always, she was sweet and charming with him, somehow able to find the balance between being genuinely friendly and not flirting.
I don’t think I will ever understand how she has so much contempt for the Durkes but has always liked Donnie.
Then again, I’d never found anyone who didn’t like Donnie.
Even though she was nice to him, she told him that she would rather go to church than come over for Christmas Day with the rest of the family.
Christmas Eve was surprisingly enjoyable.
Rose was on her best behavior. She almost seemed happy.
Jed and I cooked pork chops and stuffing.
It was her favorite meal. I thought I was dreaming when she gave me a compliment by telling me what a good job I did on the chops.
I kept waiting for the axe to fall, but it never did.
Rose was thrilled with her DVD player and the movies we had gotten her.
She said she had always wanted one of those but had never been able to afford it.
It took all my power not to remind her of the thousands and thousands of dollars she had spent on alcohol over the years.
If she hadn’t been so pleasant, I probably would have.
The night gave me hope that things really could get better, and we would finally find a way to get along and be a real family, a hope that hadn’t crossed my mind in well over a decade.
Even though we told Rose that we wouldn’t be out to see her Christmas Day, I felt somewhat guilty as we got up and got ready to go to the Durkes’, especially after our pleasant evening the night before.
We helped Maudra load the food she’d made into the back of her car and then headed over to Rose’s before joining Maudra at Sue and Chuck’s.
I was certain she wouldn’t be awake yet, since it was a couple of hours before noon, but I thought we could at least wake her up and wish her a good Christmas. As we got closer to her house, we saw an old pickup truck, without its bed, in her driveway.
“Uh-oh.” Jed’s voice was wary. “This isn’t going to be good.” He looked over at me. “Maybe we should come back this evening.”
“What? Why?” I looked at the truck closer as we pulled up beside it. “Rose never has company. We need to make sure she’s okay.”
“I don’t think she’s in any trouble, Brooke.”
I gave him an impatient glance and hopped out of the car.
Not only was the door unlocked, as normal, but it was open several inches.
My nerves went into overdrive. Who would break in on Christmas?
And why would they break into Mom’s house?
She had nothing anyone could possibly steal, except a DVD player, but who would know about that?
I pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped in as Jed followed a few paces behind me.
I felt my tense muscles slacken as I looked at the room.
The Christmas tree lights were on and twinkling but didn’t look cheery any longer.
There were three or four wine bottles on the floor and several empty beer cans.
There was a stained white T-shirt and a pair of jeans crumpled on the floor beside Rose’s recliner.
Jed pulled on my arm. “Come on, babe. Let’s leave. We can come by later tonight.”
“What are you talking about? This is crazy. We need to make sure that….” Then I heard what Jed must have heard, what Jed must have realized the entire time.
Sounds that brought me back to childhood more than any other sound, other than yelling and cursing, anyway.
Without thinking, I pulled loose from Jed’s tugging and took the few steps to Rose’s bedroom and flung open the door.
They didn’t hear the door open or maybe didn’t care. I saw the hairy back and even hairier ass raised up on the bed. “What the hell are you doing?” I hated the sound in my voice.
The hairy ass quit moving, and an ugly bald head twisted around to look at me.
Like the rest of him, his face was fat and covered with hair.
Unlike the rest of his body, though, the hair on his face was splotchy, like it couldn’t quite figure out how to grow.
His voice was thick and gravelly. “Fucking. What’s it look like, dumbass? Who the fuck are you?”
Rose’s voice came from beneath him. “Goddamn it, Clayton, get off me. That’s my no-good queer son.”
He rolled off her, and she managed to cover herself up with her good hand.
“Mom, what are you doing?” I had quit yelling, my voice quiet and shocked. I hadn’t quite thought about the fact that I was still standing in the bedroom with my naked mother.
Clayton managed to push himself off the bed with a groan. He didn’t bother to cover up as he walked toward me. He was even fatter standing up, his huge furry belly hanging so low it almost allowed him some modesty.
He directed his question at Rose but kept coming toward me. “You got a goddamn queer kid. You never told me that.”
“’Cause it’s none of your goddamn business. Get back in bed and shut the fuck up.”
Clayton ignored her and kept walking toward me. “Who are you to walk in here and start yellin’ and interrupt a good fuck?” He wasn’t more than an arm’s length away, and I could feel his anger radiating off of him. “Haven’t got the chance to beat the shit out of a faggot in a long time.”
I heard Jed enter the room; he must have been waiting outside the door.
I couldn’t see him, but I heard his voice.
“Then you’re gonna have to beat the shit out of two of them.
” It was no more than a growl. “Back off.” I had only heard it a few times before, but I knew what he looked like when he was angry enough to sound like that.
Only an insane person would try to take him on.
That might not play to our advantage with Clayton.
“Clayton!” Mom’s voice was shrill enough to hurt. He stopped his approach and looked back at her. She sounded nearly crazed. “Get the fuck back here and shut your worthless mouth.”
“You dumb slut.” His voice was quiet, and he turned back to the bed.
Rose turned her attention to me. “And you.” She was seething. “Get out of here. This is none of your fucking business. You have no right to be here. Aren’t you supposed to be with your precious, rich Durkes?” She spat out their name.
“I wanted to tell you Merry Christmas and see if you need anything.”
She dripped sarcasm. “Well, aren’t you the sweetest little thing? I’m so humbled that you find me worthy to come see on Christmas.” She turned away from me, back to Clayton. “Get out, Brooklyn.”
I took a step toward the bed. “You’ve been drinking again. It’s all over the fucking floor out there. What are you trying to do, trying to have another stroke?”
Clayton’s voice sounded like a little kid talking back to his teacher. “Shows what you know, faggot. Last night was nothin’, not near as much as normal, and she ain’t had a stroke yet, faggot.” He seemed to enjoy the word; his eyes lit up each time he said it.
“Shut the fuck up, Clayton! Goddamn it, use your fucking brain!”
He looked at her, half in confusion, half in anger. “What’s the fucking matter? This is good. Now I don’t have to get out of here before dawn every goddamn morning.”
“Shut the fuck up!” She smacked his face. It was odd to see such a huge man cower to this shrunken, little woman. He must have had more of a brain than I thought.
I stood there, staring. Embarrassingly, it took me several seconds for what I had heard to make sense.
When it did, I took a few backward steps.
The pieces fell into place, and I felt stupid for not seeing it before.
I should have. She’d been my mother long enough.
I should have seen the signs that were right in front of my face.
Even a stroke wouldn’t change her. Clayton had been coming by every night.
Maybe not even just Clayton. Maybe she had several lined up.
She’d been sleeping later and later because her hangovers were getting worse.
The hate in my voice surprised even me. “I can’t believe you.” I realized as I said it that it was a lie. “I’m doing all I can to help you and get you better, and you’re doing this. You’re going to kill yourself.”
A look of what must have been shame crossed her face, then her eyes hardened and narrowed. “Sorry it didn’t work in time for Christmas. What a gift that would have been, huh?”
I turned and walked out of the room, Jed following.
Rose screamed from her bedroom. “You ain’t done nothing for me, anyway. Anybody can clean a house. All you are is a damned maid!”
As I slammed the door, my voice matched hers perfectly. “Fuck you!”
I drove the short distance to the graveyard and got out and sat with Jed by Grandma and Grandpa Morrison’s gravestone. We didn’t speak. We didn’t touch.
After a while, I looked at him nervously. “Sorry.”
He was quiet. “You don’t need to be sorry.”
“I don’t like you hearing me like that. I hate that I can sound like that.”
He didn’t respond; he just put his hand over mine.