20. Nina
CHAPTER 20
NINA
N ina made it all the way to her car before bursting into tears. Seeing Rashad again had hurt more than she’d expected. Beneath her anger and hurt, she still cared about him, which made everything so much worse. Seeing the curve of his lips and the hard lines of his shoulders and jaw had brought the night they’d spent together rushing back — the way he’d run his thumb across her cheekbone, the way he’d breathed her name as though it was a magic spell, the way his dark eyes had watched her as though she was the only person in the world who mattered. His honeyed voice had brought back memories, too, of the way he’d played and swum and cooked with her and the twins. Worst of all was the look of shock and hurt in his eyes when he’d first seen her baby bump, as though she was the one who’d betrayed him .
Nina wiped her tears away with a napkin she found in the glove compartment, feeling overwrought and more tired than ever. Some of her sadness might be attributable to pregnancy hormones, but most of it was because a traitorous part of her still wanted to be with Rashad. That part had hoped that he might take her hands at the event and beg forgiveness — but even if he did, it wouldn’t be enough. Nina couldn’t trust him again.
Taking a deep breath, Nina crumpled the tearstained napkin in her hands, tossed it into the garbage bag she kept in the car for her preschoolers’ snack wrappers and broken toys, and turned the key in the ignition. As she drove home along her familiar route, thoughts of Rashad refused to leave her. He had looked sorry when he’d realized that his assistant hadn’t passed on Nina’s message. Sorry wasn’t enough, but it was something.
When Nina got home, she took a quick shower and climbed into bed. Before falling asleep, she turned the ring mode on her phone back on. Surely, Rashad would call in the morning to talk about the baby and his role, if nothing else.
Yet Nina woke the next day to no call from Rashad. She kept her phone with her all day as she made pancakes with chocolate chips and whipped-cream smiles for the twins and played a memory game with them, but it still didn’t ring. By the time evening came, Nina was increasingly certain that she wasn’t going to hear from Rashad at all. Clearly, any sorrow he’d felt when he’d seen Nina pregnant and realized his mistake was fleeting.
Sunday passed without any word from Rashad, then Monday. After putting the kids to bed on Monday evening, Nina found herself sitting on her couch with a mug of chamomile tea, staring at the phone as though she could force him to call by sheer willpower. It was hard to understand how he could see her pregnancy and still have no interest in contacting her, but the answer was clear: Rashad was done with Nina.
It felt like Nina’s heart was breaking all over again. She’d harbored a secret hope that if Rashad ever found out about the baby, he’d regret his actions and try to make things right. She’d been wrong. It was obvious now that whatever goodness she’d seen in Rashad was overshadowed by his ruthlessness and indifference. The harm his parents had caused by treating him as lesser than his brother was impossible to undo.
On Tuesday morning, Nina was just leaving a meeting with a few of her investors when her phone rang. She said her goodbyes, then swiped to answer and lifted the phone to her ear.
“Nina Kendrick speaking.”
“Nina.” Rashad’s warm, deep voice came over the phone’s small speaker as clearly as if he were standing beside her, and Nina had to steady herself against the wall. He’d actually called. Nina wasn’t sure if she was angry, relieved, or just tired.
“I didn’t expect to hear from you,” she said, her tone as neutral as she could make it. It felt important that Rashad didn’t know how hurt she was.
“I apologize for that.” There was a short pause. “Nina, I’d like to talk to you.”
“I’m sorry, Rashad.” Nina rubbed her eyes with the flat of her hand. “But I don’t really want to talk to you.”
“I assure you, I’m reaching out because we need to discuss matters of business.” Rashad’s tone was more formal than usual. “Even with everything that’s happened between us, we’re still in the same field, and we would both benefit from setting out some ground rules for our future communication.”
Nina sighed. Talking about business with Rashad was no more appealing than talking about personal matters, but he had a point. If she understood what he was planning, she’d be better prepared to counter him.
“All right. When and where?”
“The yacht. Ten o’clock tomorrow.”
Nina almost laughed. “I’m not agreeing to another yacht trip with you.”
“We won’t even leave the harbor.” There was a hint of something in Rashad’s voice, something that sounded a great deal like a plea. “It’s just a private place where we can meet and talk.”
“Fine. I’ll see you then.” Nina hung up. Tapping her phone against her palm, she sighed. A meeting with Rashad, even if it was truly just a business meeting, wasn’t going to be easy — especially when the meeting was taking place on his yacht, where everything had happened between them. Nina would have to do all she could to show Rashad that she was in control of her company and that she was unfazed by what had passed between them. It would be difficult, but she had to do it.
The next day at ten, Nina clicked her way down the pier in a pair of chunky heels. She’d dressed in a suit, complete with slacks, a white blouse, and a jacket, and pulled her hair back into a neat bun. Her professional outfit was her armor against what was to come — and a reminder to keep things professional, no matter what happened.
Rashad was waiting on the balcony, just as he had been when she’d first boarded the yacht with her enthusiastic kids in tow. He waved to her, then disappeared. Nina boarded, more memories flooding back as she climbed the stairs to the meeting room where they’d sat a few times. Rashad met her on the way up and they walked together, in silence, into the meeting room. Rashad pulled out a chair for Nina, which she was tempted to reject entirely, but she sat.
“All right.” She folded her hands and placed them on the table. “What did you want to discuss?”
“First, thank you for coming.” Rashad met her eyes, his own deep brown ones serious. “I want to present a business proposal.”
“All right.” So, it was coming: the offer to buy her company at an undercutting price. Nina schooled her features. She wasn’t going to sell, even if it was the right move, even though being in Rashad’s presence again was overwhelming. He smelled faintly of aftershave, just as she’d remembered, and her gaze was drawn again and again to his hands as he opened a folder and slid a stack of papers across the table to her. She remembered those hands enveloping hers, resting on her waist, sliding into her hair.
“I’ve spent the last few days working nonstop on a deal that I think could help both of us.” Rashad indicated the papers. “My business partners were skeptical, but it doesn’t matter. I was able to pull together a merger — we can work together, as equals. It’s a step beyond what we discussed on the yacht, but I think you’ll see that this will be even more beneficial.”
Nina didn’t even look at the proposal. “There’s no way I’m going to work with you. The last time we discussed a deal like this, you pulled the rug out from under me.” Beyond that, it stung that Rashad was truly only interested in business when she was sitting across the table from him, pregnant with his child.
“I know.” Rashad flipped a few pages. “That’s why this agreement has a guarantee in it — if I ever try to screw you over again, you can activate the guarantee, and the company will pass, in trust, to the twins and our child. You would still be able to earn income from it, but I wouldn’t. I’ve already signed.”
Slowly, Nina raised her eyes to Rashad’s. “I don’t understand.”
“What don’t you understand?” Rashad’s voice had lost the businesslike tone. He now sounded like the man who’d shared heartfelt conversations with her under the starlight — open and a little nervous.
“Why would you do this?” Nina gestured to the agreement. “This helps me, but you’d be worse off than you were before. If you’re offering this merger out of guilt over the baby, I think it’s a mistake. Guilt isn’t enough for us to be able to work together.”
“I do feel guilty,” Rashad said. “I should never have pushed you away after our weekend together, and I should have made sure my assistant knew to put calls from you straight through. But I’m not offering this merger out of guilt.” He hesitated. “I’m offering it out of love.”
Nina could hardly believe what she was hearing. “Love?” She meant to sound scathing, but her voice shook a little.
“Yes. All my life, I’ve been scared to get too close to anyone, because it meant I could be hurt. The world of business was safer, because nothing was ever personal, and everyone was working towards the bottom line — nothing more. Then I met you, and Miles, and Kate. I know it only lasted a few days, but the weekend we spent together changed me, Nina. You changed me. I saw what life could be like if I allowed myself to open my heart, but I was still too much of a coward to take that risk. I’m not now.”
Nina was speechless. After two months of silence, Rashad was saying exactly what she’d never let herself dream of hearing — and she didn’t know what to do.
“What are you saying?” she asked, her voice hushed.
“I want another chance with you.” Rashad reached for Nina’s hands across the table, and she let him take them, still half in a daze. His thumb skated across the back of her hand, sending pleasant shivers down her arm. “I made a terrible mistake when I walked away from you. I never should have done that, and I can only hope that it isn’t too late to make things right. Because I love you, Nina. I love you. I love the twins, too, and I know I’ll love this baby just as much. I can’t imagine my life without you. And the only way I can ask you to trust me again is by sharing everything with you — including our companies.”
“You love me?”
“Of course I do.” Rashad’s mouth quirked into a smile. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Nina. You’re amazing. I don’t know many people who could do what you do — raising kids on your own and running a business can’t be easy, but you handle everything in your stride. You’re smart, resourceful, funny, selfless, playful, gorgeous, and so much more. When I’m with you, I feel like a better man. What’s not to love?”
Nina’s heart was pounding in her chest. Part of her wanted to throw her arms around Rashad and let herself melt into him, but she held back. Her hand in his was more than enough right now, and she still had questions.
“What about the baby? And Kate and Miles? If you’re going to be in a relationship with me, if you’re going to say you love me, you have to be ready to accept them , too. You have to be ready to be a father to our baby.”
“I’m ready.” Rashad squeezed her hand. “I never thought I would be, but I understand now that no one really feels ready to be a parent — especially people like me, who didn’t have good role models. But if I walk away from you and the twins and our baby now, that would make me just as bad as my parents. Worse, probably. Showing up for you and for them is the only way for me to be the kind of man, partner, and father I want to be.”
Nina nodded and drew her lip between her teeth. Worry flickered across Rashad’s handsome features.
“That is, I want to show up for you and the kids — if there’s a place for me. I understand that I’ve made mistakes, and that my business proposal doesn’t erase those mistakes. Despite that, do you think, perhaps, you’d be willing to give me another chance?”
A tear rolled from Nina’s eye, though she was barely aware of it. She nodded again and finally trusted herself to speak.
“Rashad.” His name felt as sweet and rich as creamy coffee on her tongue. “I’m ready to give you another chance. I… I love you, too. I wanted to deny that, especially given what happened the last day on the yacht, but I do. I love you.”
“Nina.” Her name was an incantation on his lips, drawing her towards him. “Oh, Nina. I love you. And I’m so, so sorry.”
Nina wasn’t sure who moved first, but then they were on their feet, the chairs scraping back as they hurried around the table. Rashad caught Nina in his arms, and she pressed her face against his firm chest, overcome by everything that had passed between them in the last few moments. She could hear his heartbeat against hers and feel the warmth emanating from him.
“Am I so ugly that you can’t even look at me?” There was a teasing undertone in Rashad’s voice now, and Nina laughed despite herself — and despite the tears still glistening in her eyes.
“No, of course not.” She lifted her head and tilted her chin back so that she could meet his intense gaze. “I just… I can hardly believe that this is real. I thought I’d never see you again — or that I’d only see you as a rival.”
“I thought the same.” Rashad’s lips crooked into a smile. “I’m glad we were wrong.”
“Me too.” Nina paused. “You’ll have to apologize to the twins, too. I made plenty of excuses, but they were sad not to see you again after the weekend together.”
Rashad winced. “I’m ready to apologize. The twins deserve better. So do you.”
“No.” Nina lifted onto her tiptoes until her lips were only inches from Rashad’s. She could smell that aftershave scent and see the five o’clock shadow across his chin, though it was barely afternoon. She could see the way his pupils dilated when she was near and the look in his eyes, as though he wanted nothing more than her. “I think you’ll do just fine the second time around.”
“I’ll do my best,” Rashad said, his eyes never leaving Nina’s. “I don’t suppose I could steal a kiss?”
“Hmm.” Nina pretended to consider. “I suppose that could be arranged.”
As if he’d been waiting to hear those words for years and couldn’t wait a second longer, Rashad pulled Nina into a kiss. Their lips met with all the passion they’d had during their first kiss all those months ago, but there was something more now, too. This time, Rashad kissed Nina with the promise of a future and the surety of a love that wouldn’t waver, no matter what happened. He tasted like sweet coffee and hope.
They kissed for a long time, as though they were the only two people in the world. When Rashad finally pulled away, he kept his arms around her.
“So, tell me, what shall we do now?” he asked, his voice low.
“First, we’ll sign our agreement.” Nina nodded to the papers on the table. “Then, I think we should take the day off, don’t you?”
“We can go for a sail,” Rashad suggested. “You can bring Miles and Kate.”
“You can tell me more about how amazing I am.”
“You can tell me all about our baby.”
They smiled at each other, then Nina extricated herself from Rashad’s embrace and picked up the pen. It scratched against the paper as she signed, the smell of ink wafting into the air. With a smile, she turned back to Rashad.
“I need one more thing to seal our agreement.”
“Anything.”
“One more kiss — then we’ll officially be in business.”
“You don’t even have to ask.” Rashad swept her into a dipped kiss.
Later, they would go for a sail, the twins in tow. They’d swim and cook together and play board games and hide-and-seek. But for now, on this warm March day with the future bright and wide ahead of them, they led each other to Rashad’s bedroom, their laughter and teasing turning into something sweeter and more intimate.
Finally, there were no more secrets and no more fears between them.