Chapter 9
The following morning, numerous worries raced through her mind, so much so that she wasn’t sure what to expect when she went downstairs. She’d made her confession, laying bare her shame and her heart filled with regrets and fear and despair, yet with a tiny thread of hope.
“She’s mine,” she’d said over and over again at the supper table, tears streaking down her cheeks. “She has to be. Eliza’s my child.”
Yes, Eliza was her child, but sadly, tragically, she hadn’t felt any instant recognition of her daughter in the children playing in the yard at the orphanage the day before.
For all she knew, her daughter could’ve been in the house somewhere.
Or long gone. Or another Eliza altogether.
She made her way slowly down the stairs, the house quiet. Where was everyone?
“Dalia?” she called out softly as she moved into the kitchen. No answer. “Lillian?”
She thought it odd that the two of them weren’t there. She supposed Nathaniel was at the sheriff’s office, but where were the women? Moments later she heard voices and realized they came from behind the house.
She moved down the hallway and past a room she hadn’t noticed before, located behind the kitchen.
Through the half-open door she spied a few dusty pieces of furniture; a dresser, a bed frame, and a small armoire.
A couple of crates filled with old books sat on the floor, next to a black steamer trunk. She moved past it.
When she opened the back door she saw Lillian and Dalia scattering chicken feed to the two dozen hens in the chicken coop in a pen off to the right, perhaps twenty yards from the house.
Two roosters watched warily at the edges of the brood as the hens clustered around the women, all clucking at the same time, beaks darting and snatching at scattered seeds. She felt guilty. She had been hired to help out around here and what had she done so far except lie to these kind people?
“Good morning,” she said softly.
Dalia and Lillian both turned and murmured replies, but before she could ask if she could help, she spied a cabin nestled up into the growth of trees maybe forty yards away and opposite the chicken house. She hadn’t noticed it before.
Dalia glanced over her shoulder. “You feeling better this morning, Chloe?”
Chloe’s cheeks warmed with embarrassment and more than a little guilt. Shouldn’t she be the one to ask those questions? “I’m fine,” she replied. “I … I can’t tell you how sorry I am for—”
“None of that now,” Dalia gently interrupted. “You had your reasons, but I hope you know that we’ll do whatever we can to help you.”
Chloe hadn’t expected such a response and dismay rose inside her. She had lied to them and yet they were so kind and thoughtful, didn’t judge her, and didn’t sound like they were going to kick her out, but she wasn’t sure. She spoke hesitantly. “Thank you.” She gestured. “Can I can help?”
“No, we’ve already collected the eggs and are just about finished,” Dalia replied. “Nathaniel will be back in just a few minutes and then he’ll hitch up the buggy and you can go.”
Her heart skipped a beat and her senses felt muddled. What did this mean? They said they’d help her but in the next breath she had to go somewhere with Nathaniel? Where? To jail for fraud or something? She wasn’t sure how she could face Nathaniel. Surely he was disappointed with her as well.
After all, she might have died in that stagecoach and here she’d gone and lied to him in return. Shame coupled with regret coursed through her. After all, she’d never felt so safe as she had when he’d plucked her up onto his horse with him, holding her in his arms as they returned to town.
Stop it! She had no business wishing for something that could never be, and she certainly shouldn’t even be thinking such thoughts about the sheriff.
As she was reminded last night, she was still married and bound by the laws of matrimony.
Everett was out there somewhere, and the law said that no matter what kind of person he was, he was still her husband. If only—
The sound of a hooves rounding the corner of the house captured her attention and she turned as Nathaniel dismounted. He glanced at her and gave a brief nod before turning to his mother. “You sure about this?”
“I’m sure,” Dalia replied.
Sure about what? What was happening? She glanced at Nathaniel and found him looking at her, his gaze boring into hers for several moments, no expression on his face. What was he thinking? She felt her cheeks warm again and shifted uncomfortably.
“You ready to go?”
Her heart sank. She glanced questioningly at Dalia. Had she been mistaken? “Where am I going?” She tried to blink back unbidden tears. They were sending her away.
“To the orphanage,” he said. “I’ve got the buggy at the sheriff’s office hitched.”
“You should take ours,” Dalia said.
“I thought you were going to visit with the Carson’s today.”
“I am, but—”
“We’ll take the old buggy,” he said, then turned once more to Chloe with a lifted eyebrow.
“To the orphanage?” She could imagine she sounded quite foolish, repeating everything they said, but she didn’t understand. Dalia explained.
“You said you believed your daughter is there at the orphanage?”
Chloe swallowed, unable to find her voice for a moment while Dalia gazed at her with a small smile. “I pray she is,” she finally managed.
“Then it’s time for you to find out, don’t you think?”
Well of course she did. She nodded but was still confused. “But what if it’s her? She won’t know me. I can’t … I can’t provide for her, not just yet.” Her voice grew softer. “I’ve got no place to take her, no way to shelter her—”
Lillian followed her mother out of the chicken yard and gestured toward the cabin. “You and Eliza can stay there.”
Again Chloe blinked, glanced at the cabin, then back to the three of them. Nathaniel wasn’t looking at her right now, but seemed to be looking off into the distance, eyes narrowed and his thoughts somewhere else.
“My husband built that cabin when we first arrived in Texas,” Dalia explained.
“We came from Virginia after the war. We lived there for a while until the house was built.” She paused and offered a small smile.
“We can clean it up a bit. It’s small, but Nathaniel already took a look at it.
The roof is solid and the walls are still strong.
You and your daughter can stay there if you wish, or if you’d prefer, you can return to Nebraska. ”
That last comment prompted Chloe’s back to stiffen.
No! She couldn’t go back to Nebraska, where nothing but bad memories were stored.
At least for now, she would have a roof over her head, thanks to the generosity of Dalia Cross, but if she left, she would have nothing, just like when she’d first run away from Everett and Silas.
Just the thought of them prompted her gut to twist with fear. She glanced away and found Nathaniel watching her again with no expression on his face.
“Are you ready?” he asked again.
Was she? Was she ready to learn for sure whether her Eliza was the same Eliza at the orphanage?
Had she finally found her daughter? How could she prove it?
Perhaps some paperwork and documents had followed her daughter from the orphanage in Nebraska, but she had none with her.
She also knew the questions would be asked.
After all, she had given up her daughter once.
Bethany certainly wouldn’t give her the child without making sure that not only was she the girl’s mother, but that she had no plans to place her in another orphanage.
What was to say they trusted her not to do it again?
Looking at Nathaniel, she couldn’t help but think he was thinking the same questions.
“Yes, I’m ready.” This is what she wanted.
She wanted her daughter back. She knew it wouldn’t be easy.
They didn’t know each other. Eliza would have questions that would be extremely difficult for her to answer, but one thing she knew for sure: she loved her daughter and had since the moment she learned she was carrying her.
She’d done what she thought was best for her daughter, for her life and her safety and well-being. Could a mother be blamed for that?
Heaven knows she’d blamed herself over the years. Lord, give me strength. Give me the courage I’m going to need in order to prove that I’m ready, that I’ll face what the future brings and not run from it like I did before.
“Come along then,” Nathaniel said. “I don’t want to be gone too long.”
Chloe nodded and glanced once more at Dalia and Lillian, both smiling with encouragement and nods.
She’d never imagined to find such kindness, especially after they learned what she had done.
With a sigh and a grateful nod of her own, she turned to follow Nathaniel and his horse back around the side the house into the front yard.
He led his horse back through town and she followed, feeling more than a few curious glances toward her.
“Good morning, Sheriff,” a woman stepping from the mercantile said, lifting her hand in greeting, a curious expression on her face as she glanced at Chloe.
“Morning, Maddie,” Nathaniel said, pausing briefly. “This is our new houseguest, Chloe Whitfield.” He glanced at Chloe. “This is Mattie Talbot. She and her husband Spencer own the mercantile.”
“How do you do, Miss Whitfield,” the woman greeted her.
“Good morning, Missus Spencer,” she replied.
“Will you be staying in town for a while?”
“Yes … I think so,” Chloe murmured before glancing up at Nathaniel as he touched a finger to his hat, bid the woman goodbye and continued on.
Her heart beat like a drum inside her chest at the stilted exchange but she gave a quick smile and nod to the woman as she turned to follow Nathaniel.
Did the people in town know about her? Did they know what she’d done?