Chapter 14 #3
Chloe nearly stumbled back in dismay as she spun around to find Nathaniel eyeing her with slightly lifted eyebrows.
His eyes searched hers before she lowered her own, trying to quiet her still pounding heart.
He’d come into the chicken yard so silently!
“Yes,” she managed, her hand tightly clutching the bullet.
He frowned. “You’re pale as a sheet. What’s happened?”
At first she thought of lying, telling him that he just startled her, that’s all, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t believe it.
She’d been jumpy for days without even realizing why.
Hoping she wouldn’t regret it—she extended her hand and exposed the cartridge in her palm. He glanced down at it, then at her.
“What are you doing with that?”
“I found it one of the chicken hutches.”
He plucked the bullet from her palm, examining it a moment before he lifted his eyes back to hers. “This was in one of the chicken hutches?”
She nodded. “Yes. I was gathering the eggs and I found this in one of them.”
He frowned again, turning the bullet end over end with his fingers as he stared at it. “It’s a .44-40 caliber.” He looked up at her. “It can be used in rifles or some handguns.”
She glanced down at his own gun belt, the leather hoops on it filled with brass cartridges.
His belt rode low and at an angle on his hips, the well-worn handle of his revolver jutting from the top of the holster, the bottom loosely tied to his lower thigh with a thin leather strap.
She looked up at him. “How did it get there?”
He blinked. “I have no idea,” he replied.
She was grasping for an excuse, anything that would explain its presence in a chicken hutch. “You don’t think one fell from your belt or pocket when you were out here in the yard or in the chicken pen or—”
“No,” he interrupted.
“I figured as much. It was a foolish thought.” He eyed her so intently she nearly squirmed under that steely gaze.
She knew at that moment that he knew she was keeping a secret, and by his changing expression, he didn’t like it.
She finally managed to shrug as if it didn’t really concern her, although it did.
“Well, it’s odd, isn’t it?” she said lightly, as if her heart wasn’t still pounding and her stomach wasn’t still roiling. “I’d better finish collecting the eggs.”
With that, she turned to her task. She felt Nathaniel’s eyes on her but didn’t turn around, pretending that she didn’t notice.
The longer she stood under that gaze the more nervous she grew.
He didn’t leave. She heaved an inward sigh and, finished collecting eggs, turned around to face him with a lifted eyebrow.
“What is it, Nathaniel?” Was he going to ask about her past again? She felt more than guilty keeping it to herself but … but she just wanted to be here a little longer before she had to go out on her own again, this time with a young daughter who relied on her.
What he said next was unexpected.
“Lillian told me something this morning, about Eliza,” he said softly. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure the child wasn’t around. He turned back to her.
“She went to the orphanage again with Lillian just a little while ago,” Chloe explained. “Because she wanted to play with her friends there.”
He nodded but hesitated, as if making a decision. “ Lillian wouldn’t have said anything if she weren’t concerned.”
Chloe frowned, hugging the basin a little closer. “Concerned? About what?”
He heaved a sigh. “Eliza’s grown a bit … well, I’m not sure how to explain it,” he began. “A little, reserved I guess you’d say.”
Chloe frowned. She had noticed that other than the day they’d gone on the picnic that the child had grown increasingly quiet. “I’ve noticed,” she said. “I’ve tried to ask her about it but she said it’s nothing, she just misses her friends at the orphanage.”
Nathaniel pressed his lips together and looked off into the distance again before turning back to her. “Lilly has a way with children.” He shrugged. “Probably why she enjoys spending time at the orphanage, the way the children respond to her.”
Chloe nodded even though Nathaniel wasn’t looking at her. Then, suddenly he was, those eyes of his searching hers, as if he could tell what she was thinking without even speaking. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, waiting.
“Lilly told me that Eliza’s worried.”
Chloe frowned. “About what?” She glanced at the cabin. They had a roof over their heads, food on the table, and a safe place to sleep. She had a paying job and Eliza had the barn animals and the cat and the kittens to help care for.
Nathaniel shifted uneasily, then cleared his throat and told her the rest.
“Eliza told Lilly that she’s afraid that you might leave her again and never come back—”
A hot flush spread through her body as she gasped, eyes wide. “I wouldn’t! I won’t!”
He lifted a hand. “I believe you, but Eliza doesn’t know that for sure. Remember, she’s been returned to an orphanage twice.”
He lifted a hand as if he were going to place it on her shoulder but then let it drop, shoving it into his pocket instead.
Her heart thudded again, as it seemed to do so often of late.
She looked off into the distance past Nathaniel, wondering what she had done to make her child so fearful that she would be abandoned again.
“I’ve done nothing that would make her feel that way, Nathaniel, honest! I’ve tried to be a good mother—”
“I know you have,” Nathaniel interrupted. “We’ve all seen you trying.”
Warm tears filled her eyes and she blinked them back. “I’ll never abandon her again, never! I promise! I’ll do anything I can to protect her, to make her feel safe and loved and cherished …”
Her voice broke and the tears flowed and she wanted to cover her face but she was holding the eggs and clutching the basin tightly.
He took the basin from her and set it on the ground.
A mere second later his arms were around her, holding her close.
He patted her back, almost awkwardly, and that made her only cry harder.
“It’s going to be all right,” he murmured, his head bent toward hers. “Chloe, it’s all going to be all right.”
She couldn’t speak. Her heart hurt and she clung to him. His shirt smelled of horse and hay and manly sweat, but he was warm and solid and his arms wrapped around her made her feel safe and secure.
He just stood there, letting her cry, not saying a word until she managed to gain control over her emotions.
With a sniffle, she looked up at him, leaned back a bit, and he let her go.
She swiped her hands over her cheeks as she looked up at his face, his eyes as always watching, but she was unable to gauge his thoughts.