Chapter Twenty-Two Samira
TWENTY-TWO SAMIRA
I spent the day walking aimlessly through Frostguard. Keir followed several feet behind but mercifully didn’t attempt to speak to me, even as he wore a pinched expression on his face, almost like he was in pain. I didn’t comment on it, and he didn’t explain.
I mostly stuck to the border of the village and watched the Kaldfolk go about their lives.
Women hung the wash on clotheslines, men swept wayward leaves out of their homes with brooms, children roughhoused.
Smoke drifted up from chimneys, and despite the ever-present cold of this place, there was a warmth to the scene.
It all seemed very… normal. Pleasant, even.
I passed a brewery, where I spotted Bain. He dipped a finger into a vat of the milky white kefir and brought it to his lips. His chiseled face tightened with a hard cringe, and then a cough racked his lean form.
The brewer beside him, an elderly woman with snow-white hair and hands as large as plates, cackled and clapped him hard on the back.
I became hyperaware of Keir at my back. My mind could not help but think of the other night. The kefir he’d brought me. That small bit of kindness.
Neither of us had acknowledged that moment. Granted, there had been far more pressing matters to deal with, but now all the questions that had crowded my mind rose up again.
When I turned around and met Keir’s glittering gold gaze, they tangled up on my tongue before I could voice any of them. His brows lifted in a question.
I blurted the first thing that came to mind: “I took a bath.”
He blinked. “Congratulations?”
The tips of my ears burned. “No, I… I know you said it wouldn’t help. With the smell. My smell. But… I tried…” My words trailed over a cliff and died, and I almost wished the Kaldfolk would go ahead and kill me.
Keir studied me in that piercing way of his. It took great effort not to let my eyes dart away. “Did you think that would hide your scent this morning?”
The burn in my ears spread to my cheeks. “I wasn’t trying to hide.”
“No?” Keir tilted his head in a poor imitation of innocent curiosity. “Then why didn’t I see you?”
“You didn’t look hard enough.”
He took a step closer, making me crane my head back to maintain eye contact.
“Believe me, I did,” he said. Every inch of me became alert, some primal instinct warning me I was caught in the sights of a predator.
My heart pounded in my ears. “What were you hoping to see, hm? Hedin being roasted up for a nice meal? Or maybe something more important you could use against us when you bring your Khada Guard back here?”
“No! No, I… I didn’t want to upset anyone. It was obviously a private event. I hadn’t even meant to be there. I saw Milena running into the woods and I followed her—”
“Milena,” he repeated.
“Yes.” When he just stared, I awkwardly added, “The girl from Netherridge?”
“You remember her name.”
I frowned. “It’s not a particularly difficult one.”
Keir’s nostrils flared. Scenting me. What he was looking for, I didn’t know. But I watched him draw a deep inhale and hold it, just like the night in my cabin. The longer he held it, the hotter my face felt. When he finally let it out, it caressed my cheeks.
“You know what I smell?” he asked quietly. The dangerous whisper of a leopard moving through grass. “Beneath the sadness and fear and attempted friendliness. Beneath…” He inhaled again. “Beneath everything else.”
“What?”
He leaned in so that his warmth tickled my skin and his sunny eyes branded themselves on the backs of my lids. “You smell like you’re hiding something, Majesty.”
My stomach plummeted. My blood, molten just seconds ago, turned to ice in my veins.
He hummed in approval when he scented the shift. “Tell me what it is now,” he murmured, “and I will show you mercy.”
Horror blared through every inch of me. I’d failed my queen. I didn’t know if it was one thing in particular or if I’d never stood a chance. What I did know was that a confession would not grant me mercy. The beast in front of me would take great joy in delivering my punishment.
“Come on, Majesty,” he coaxed, soft, seductive. “Secrets are so heavy, aren’t they?”
They were. I hated lying. But my queen needed this from me. The gods needed this from me, and I had let them all down—
Majesty. Keir had called me Majesty. Whatever he suspected, whatever he smelled, he didn’t know who I really was. Which meant I hadn’t failed. Not yet. Relief made my head feel light.
“I’m sorry I was there this morning,” I said in my most measured tone. “It was not my place. I did not mean to upset you. Please forgive me.”
Instead of smoothing out, the line between Keir’s brows deepened further.
He studied me, like if he just looked long enough, he could drag my secrets out of me.
I held my ground, hands fisted at my sides and face carefully neutral, the way my queen looked when she had to deal with a particularly difficult advisor.
He could probably hear my heart slamming against my rib cage, but I tried to take slow breaths to calm it.
Keir said, “You—”
“Your Majesty!”
Both our heads snapped up at Velka’s call. She approached with a wave.
I took a large step away from Keir, breathing easier, and smiled gratefully, beyond relieved to be saved from this conversation. “Hello, Velka.”
Velka wore a bright smile, cheeks rosy from the chill, and gestured to the brewery. “Did you want to go in? Don’t listen to Keir, you’re allowed to approach. Venna loves to talk all about her craft to anyone who will listen.”
Keir grumbled darkly beside me as he fiddled with something under his cloak. His jaw tightened, muscle feathering in his cheek. That wince of pain again.
Maybe if he hadn’t spent the last five minutes threatening me, I would have felt bad.
Instead, I turned all of my attention to Velka. “Maybe later.”
Velka nodded but fell into step beside me. Though I did my best to keep my shoulders low, my insides tensed. She hadn’t done anything to me, but she’d laughed and applauded Hedin’s snapped neck as much as everyone else. Though, so had Keir, and I’d had no trouble talking to him just now.
Probably because I expected him to act like a monster, while Velka seemed so… nice.
She pointed to a hut with a line of gutted fish hanging from its open front.
“That’s Aurel’s smokehouse. It’s his first month having a go at running the place on his own.
Used to be him and his father, but the man’s a little…
” She gestured vaguely to her head. “Hasn’t been fully there since the Shroud took Pinethorpe.
But he’s doing a fine job. You’ve tasted his dishes firsthand. ”
I’d had fish a few times now. It seemed to be the most readily available meal. And it was almost always smoked. Not as good as the pork my first night, but definitely better than the slop from Khada Palace.
“Was everyone here displaced by the Shroud?” I asked.
“Not everyone.” Velka angled her head toward a cluster of cabins. “We call that Founders Street. Their families have been in Frostguard for generations—they claim since the War of the Ancients, but I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration.”
I vaguely remembered her mentioning she wasn’t from Frostguard, and asked, “You’re not a founder, right?”
“Lived here over ten years, but no. I’m luckier than most, though. My family got out of the Pillars before everything went to shit.”
“Your family is here in Frostguard?”
She nodded. “Blacksmiths by trade. Papa claims to run the smithy”—she lowered her voice conspiratorially—“but everyone knows it’s my big sister, Aisling, who’s really in charge.”
I couldn’t help but grin.
Her gaze shifted over my shoulder. Mischief glinted in her eyes. “Feel like losing the warden?”
“Um…” Considering the less-than-pleasant conversation we’d just had, I didn’t think it smart to taunt him. But when I chanced a peek back, I saw Keir was talking to Sillia, their faces severe. They didn’t even bat an eye in our direction.
In the last few days, all my survival instincts must have truly vanished. First, I’d walked willingly toward the Shroud, and now I nodded to Velka, agreeing to poke an actual bear.
“When I say so,” Velka whispered, hooking her arm through mine, “cut left.”
My heart pounded. We walked a few more feet, steps hurried.
Keir shouted, “Velka!”
“Now!” she ordered, and yanked me to the left.
I heard Keir swear before we turned the corner into a small alley between cabins and ran.
Velka careened around another corner, into what seemed to be a makeshift courtyard where drums thundered, boots stomped, and hands clapped.
Kaldfolk marched in a circle around a flagpole, the Kaldfold bear flag waving from the top. They were chanting—and they were loud.
I slapped my hands over my ears. “What is this?” I yelled over the din.
“Birthday party!” she replied. I spotted a little boy among the crowd, wildflowers tangled in his hair and smiling widely as he was hauled into the circle.
Velka tightened her arm around mine and jerked me through the mayhem.
Before we disappeared around yet another bend, I saw Keir rush into the courtyard, his enhanced Shifter’s senses unable to pinpoint us among the cacophony. He searched blindly. “Velka!”
“Come on,” she urged, and then we were running down a different alley.
We didn’t stop until we reached a tall tower made of stacked logs, with a ladder leaning against its side. Velka climbed without hesitation, and I followed.
She collapsed on her back at the top, laughing, and I paused on my hands and knees beside her, chest heaving as I struggled to catch my breath. But I was laughing, too. “Did you just get us in trouble?”
She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s our favorite game. Or—I guess it’s my favorite game that I force Keir to play.”
I laughed again. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed, but it felt good. Like a small weight had been removed from my chest.