Chapter Forty-Eight Samira
FORTY-EIGHT SAMIRA
Your cabin’s been marked,” Rade said. “The Shifters can’t protect you there. Come with me.” Without giving me a chance to ask what he meant by “marked,” he waved me after him, leading me straight to his room in the longhouse, where Sillia and Cano stood guard.
Sillia didn’t meet my eyes, Cano offered me an apologetic smile, but all I could see was Keir’s grin. It flashed on the backs of my lids with every blink.
He knew.
He must’ve tasted it in my blood. Or rather, not tasted it.
He knew I was a fraud. He’d probably already told Velka as she’d led him away.
They could be seconds from bursting into Rade’s room and telling him the truth.
I was no demigod, no magical creature, no one of any importance. I had duped them all.
Rade guided me to sit on his sofa and then settled heavily beside me.
His gaze was instantly on my neck. It was barely a scratch and didn’t even warrant a bandage.
“Keir’s insolence has grown beyond what I imagined,” he fumed.
“I am so sorry, Amunet. I should have seen it.” He reached out and ran his finger under the wound.
His voice was a horrified whisper when he said, “He could’ve killed you. ”
“But he didn’t,” I replied softly. “He barely hurt me at all.”
But Rade was right, he could have. Keir could’ve taken my head clean off, but he’d only left a graze that would heal in a day or two. I was lucky. For now.
“Rade,” I ventured, “what did you mean when you said my cabin was marked?”
He drew his hand away with a sigh. “The night of the Lunar Feast, Keir was more—out of control than usual. And he claimed your cabin. As a bear.” At my blank stare, he added, “As a bear claims its territory…”
I blinked. “You mean… you mean Keir peed on my cabin?”
Rade cringed but nodded. “The other Shifters recognize his scent and struggle to go past it. Even Kaldfolk who aren’t Shifters can feel his claim.
I can only handle it because my scent was already in your cabin, but even I can’t remain there very long.
That’s why he was sent away the morning after.
Shifters are not allowed to mark anyone without permission. ”
I’d stayed in that cabin, surrounded by Keir’s scent without even knowing it. It was hard to name the emotion that coiled in my gut at that thought.
“When this is over tomorrow,” Rade said, “I…” He swallowed, but his face remained stern. “I will banish Keir to the Shroud.”
I started. “What?”
“Before you even arrived here, he’d done nothing but spit on my orders. It’s endangering all of us. He kidnapped the Gods-Chosen, for gods’ sake! If he were anyone else, he’d have already been dealt with. Brother or no, I will deal with him now.” Rade’s eyes glinted with rage.
Keir had tried to kill me. I should be happy he would be sent away.
But the Shroud? That dark place that turned one’s mind against itself, that brimmed with Shaya’s malevolence?
That twisted a person into a soulless ghul?
That seemed like a punishment too great—especially when Keir was right.
Every question, every doubt, every suspicion he had about me was right.
He was trying to keep his king and his people safe, he had done what he was meant to do as Rade’s First, and he was going to be left to go mad, to be twisted and warped into one of those ghuls, because of it.
My stomach clenched.
Rade took my chin with his forefinger and thumb and tilted it up, looking deeply into my eyes. “I’m sorry for all of it, Amunet,” he said thickly. “Your abduction, forcing you into this union—and that stupid dinner.”
I tried to smile around the nauseous guilt swirling through me. “It’s all right.”
His face was so close, I could feel his breath against my lips, fanning over my cheeks.
Those kind eyes of his dipped down to my lips, and my throat went dry.
That night in the White Horns rose up sharply in my mind.
The low-spiraling heat when his runes had touched mine, the brush of his fingers in my hair.
The conflicting emotions that followed.
Rade looked at me now like he’d looked at me then, those brown eyes dark with want. I could not decide if I felt that same want. If it was desire that made me want to lean in or curiosity. Or guilt.
Maybe he felt me freeze, because he cleared his throat and pulled away, cheeks faintly pink. “You can sleep here tonight. My room is not marked, which means the other Shifters will be able to reach you should anything happen. You can have the bed. I’ll take the sofa.”
It was definitely guilt that curdled inside me then.
We’d slept side by side for the last few days on the mountain, yet it felt different here.
More intimate. But with only a few hours—minutes—before they discovered I had stolen a month from them, the least I could do was not steal his bed, too.
Propriety, timidity, none of that mattered now anyway.
“You don’t have to sleep on the sofa,” I said. “If you don’t want to.”
His eyes cut to mine.
I tucked my hair behind my ear. “The last part of the Merging is tomorrow. There’s no sense in you being exhausted from a night spent tossing and turning.”
Rade’s gaze darted to the bed. “You’re sure?”
I nodded, and limbs shaky, I padded over to the bed and slipped under the covers.
Appearing a little dazed himself, Rade blew out the lanterns, easing the room into darkness, before he rounded the bed and settled against the pillows.
The bed was large—larger than the one in my cabin—but with him lying beside me, it felt very, very small.
“Good night, Amunet,” he whispered.
“Good night, Rade.”
The silence crackled with tension. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for, but my muscles were tensed, braced.
Eventually, Rade rolled over, giving me his back, and my heart rate slowed enough for me to sink into the mattress.
In a way, it was a relief that Keir finally knew, that the trick was over. I let my eyes drift shut as I savored the softness of the mattress, the pillow, the blankets. If this comforting place was the last thing I would experience before the end, I was grateful for it.
Soft morning light filtered in from under the door. No one had come for me.
Maybe—maybe they still didn’t know. Maybe Keir hadn’t told them yet. Which meant…
The final ceremony. I’d complete the Merging today, on Amunet’s birthday, and my normal human blood would leak out of my body until I was nothing but an empty husk.
I’d done it. Whatever happened, I’d bought Amunet all the time I could offer.
I hoped it wouldn’t hurt. I hoped they’d give me something to render me unconscious before slitting my wrists. Then I could simply close my eyes in Frostguard and not wake up.
Unless Rade spoke to Keir first. Maybe that was what Keir was waiting for, a chance to speak to the king. If Rade checked on his First before the ceremony, if Keir told him what he’d uncovered last night, there would be no peaceful easing into death. It would be violent and—
Rade’s arm tightened around my waist, pulling me flush against him, and my thoughts scattered. His breaths tickled the back of my neck, his nose buried in my hair, and I stiffened.
I glanced over my shoulder, but Rade’s eyes were closed. He was still asleep.
I should wake him up.
But as long as we remained here, in this bed, the terror that awaited me outside didn’t exist. Rade sighed in his sleep and snuggled closer, and incrementally, I relaxed.
It was nice, being held. Warm and comforting.
Slaves in Khada Palace did not touch, let alone hug.
So when Rade curled himself around me, a small smile lifted my lips.
But then his leg slipped between mine, and his hand drifted higher over my stomach until it rested just beneath my breast. My heart kicked into motion as I tensed once more.
“Rade,” I whispered.
He mumbled incoherently and shifted again, nuzzling further into my hair, his beard softly scratching the sensitive skin there, and an inadvertent shiver worked through me. His hand on my ribs moved higher, cupped my breast, and I blurted, “Rade.”
He stilled behind me, and the world ground to a halt. My breathing was too loud in the silent room, my heart like a drum.
After an eternity of putting together the pieces of what had been happening, he pulled his arm away, eased his body back a few inches. I cringed into the quiet. Swallowing hard, I turned onto my back.
Rade stared at me across the pillow, light brown eyes hazy with sleep—and something else. He scanned my face, which I was sure was the same shade as his runes. His thick beard framed his jaw, his full lips, and his long black hair spilled over his shoulders.
He didn’t say anything, and neither did I; he didn’t move, and I could hardly breathe. Then his eyes dropped to my lips like they had last night, and my breath caught.
I almost pulled away, reasoning that tonight was Amunet’s Igniting, so there was no more need for a ruse. But I hesitated.
This was Rade. Beautiful, kind Rade. My friend.
In a few moments, he wouldn’t be my friend any longer, but right now, he wanted to kiss me.
The only kiss I’d ever have before my purpose was served and I was executed.
I might not have felt intense desire toward him, but I didn’t think kissing Rade would be any great sacrifice.
In fact, it would probably be as nice as his cuddle, as the rune-touching.
A pleasant memory to cherish while my life slipped away.
Slowly, giving me plenty of time to pull back, he leaned across the pillow. I tipped my face toward his and our lips touched.