Chapter 12
12
He hated to admit it, but he was knackered. Despite what Sarah believed, Drew often woke up in the night when Eva had a bad one. It was true, he tended not to get up like she did, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t also affected by the loss of sleep. However, last night, he decided that not getting up would be a massive faux pas.
When he got into Eva’s room, her nappy was soaked through. Getting it off was easy enough; trying to get a dry one on afterwards, however, was a whole different matter. With her screaming and wriggling, Drew was sure she was going to wake George up. Taking Eva into their bedroom was no good either as she would wake Sarah up instead, at which point she would no doubt feel the need to intervene and point out all the things he was doing wrong. So, at a quarter to three, he was shut in the bathroom with his three-year-old, trying to get a clean nappy on to her without cracking her head against the tiles or the bathtub. When she was finally dressed, he brought her into bed with them the way Sarah always did. For the remainder of the night, Eva insisted on sleeping with her head shoved right up in Drew’s armpit. He could have sworn he had barely closed his eyes when the alarm went off. Not wanting to seem like the rough night had put him out, he had forced himself out of bed before Sarah could, and raced downstairs to make George’s snacks. Despite his tiredness, he actually felt good about helping out. That was until he got on the train, sat down, and went to check his phone.
‘Bugger.’ He tried all the pockets in his laptop bag, including the ones he didn’t think he’d ever actually unzipped. The train was already pulling out of the station. He could, he thought, get off at the next stop, wait, and come back again, but that would put him over an hour behind. Better that he just managed a day without it. He would call Sarah from work when he got in. On the plus side, it meant no silly memes to distract him from his writing.
Calling Sarah from work proved more difficult than anticipated though, given that he had no idea what her phone number was. Damn mobiles. The convenience of the whole world at your fingertips. Until it’s not, and you’re left on your own.
‘Barry,’ he said, calling out into the office area to where Barry was chewing on the inky end of a ballpoint pen. ‘Can you come here a second?’
A moment later, Barry was standing in front of him, his whole face translucent with fear.
‘I know what this is about,’ Barry said, his eyes unable to meet Drew’s as he moved to close the door. ‘It’s about the email, isn’t it? I didn’t mean to send to all staff . I just get a bit confused sometimes. You know that. You know it wasn’t deliberate.’
‘Email? What email?’ Drew asked. Then, with an inward sigh, he rubbed his temples. Whatever Barry was about to throw at him, he was definitely too tired to handle it before at least another two coffees. ‘I haven’t seen any emails yet. I was just about to log on.’
‘I might have accidentally sent a photo of Aziraphale to the whole staff mailing list.’
‘Aziraphale?’
‘My cat.’
Sure enough, when Drew clicked on his email, there was the photo: a ginger and white moggy with its nose pressed up against the screen, its rough tongue in perfect focus.
‘Do you think I’ll get fired for this?’ Barry wrung his hands as he shifted his feet. ‘I just wanted to send it to Alice, you see. And I typed AL, and then it automatically changed it to all staff , and I’d hit send before I realised.’
Drew stared at the photo of Barry’s cat. Several thoughts crossed his mind, including how he had never so directly seen up a cat’s nostrils before, and how he could work in an office where a grown man was unable to tell the difference between emailing his wife and emailing the entire company, including the board of directors, and how another refused to use email at all.
‘Maybe I should just get her to change her name?’ Barry continued. ‘I could suggest that, couldn’t I, if they go to fire me? Tell them I’ll change my wife’s name, so I don’t make the same mistake again. I think Casper would agree to that. He’s a reasonable man. I’ll tell him we’ll get her name changed.’
‘You don’t need to do that,’ Drew said. ‘I’m sure it will be fine.’
‘But if he calls me in?—’
‘Then I will vouch that it was a genuine mistake.’
Barry closed his eyes in relief. ‘Thank you,’ he said and moved to go.
He was part of the way out the door when Drew remembered the reason he had asked him into the room in the first place. ‘I don’t suppose you have Sarah’s phone number, do you?’
‘Sarah?’
‘My wife.’
‘Oh?’ A confused expression crossed Barry’s face. ‘No, I don’t think so.’ He took out his phone and checked. Even if it was there, Drew wasn’t entirely sure he’d know how to find it. ‘Why do you need it?’
‘I’ve left my phone at home,’ Drew replied. ‘I was hoping I could get hold of her to let her know, but I have no idea what her number is.’
‘How about ringing the house phone?’
The sensible suggestion took Drew aback. Unfortunately, it didn’t help.
‘We unplugged it,’ Drew said. ‘All we ever got were cold calls. Don’t worry. I’ll just send her a message online. Only, she doesn’t always see those. It’s not a problem. I’m sure she’ll be just fine anyway.’
‘No wonder he’s been so horny lately.’ Sarah shoved her nose into the wine glass and inhaled. ‘Should I be worried? I feel like I should be worried about this.’
‘You do not need to be worried about this.’
Sarah felt bad interrupting Nelly in the middle of the day, but she needed someone to talk to. At home, she had been going around in circles. She picked up the glass of wine again and sniffed. It wasn’t as good as drinking the stuff. But it was better than nothing.
‘It’s normal,’ Nelly assured her. ‘You guys have been married a long time.’
‘Still, Naughty Nanny books? I mean, maybe if I’d stumbled across a series of dirty magazines or a subscription to a porn link, I would understand. But I don’t know when Drew last made an effort to read a book before this. And what does he do, hold his phone in one hand and, you know… beat his bishop with the other?’ Sarah grimaced.
‘To be fair, that’s what I do,’ Nelly replied.
‘But you’re a woman.’
‘What’s that got to do with it?’
‘I don’t know, but that’s the unspoken rule, isn’t it? Books for the women. And films for the men.’
Nelly raised an eyebrow. ‘Really, you’re telling me you’ve never watched a porno?’
Sarah sniffed at the wine. ‘That’s not the point, is it?’
‘That’s exactly the point. Personally, I like the idea of a man using his imagination and reading books for once. It’s got to be a little more romantic than someone sitting there whacking one off in front of a screen.’
A pause formed between the two of them. Sarah ran her finger around the edge of her glass before placing it back on the table. She sighed.
‘I know it’s stupid. I do. I just feel funny about it. He’s never needed anything like that before.’
‘That you know of. Besides, you’ve never been in a position like this before. Two kids, another on the way. I’m guessing your mum hasn’t been down to help out at all recently?’
Sarah scoffed. ‘Does she ever?’
‘So you and Drew don’t exactly have much time for each other?’
‘More like no time at all.’
Nelly sat forward in her chair.
‘Well, that’s your problem. You need to make time. Believe me, speaking from someone who’s been down that route.’
Sarah stared at the wine in the glass. Every range of emotion had flashed through her at some point in the last couple of hours, not in the least disappointment in herself as much as anything else. ‘You really think it’s that simple? Just put in a bit of effort?’
Picking up her glass of wine, Nelly chewed on her lip.
‘You said your mother-in-law’s got George and Eva today, right?’
‘She’s gonna bring them back for dinner.’ Sarah glanced at her watch. ‘Which means I should probably get to the shops so that I can get some food in.’
Nelly’s eyes glinted.
‘Why not see if they can keep them a bit longer? Bring them back before bedtime instead. I’m sure they’d agree.’
It took Sarah a minute to decipher Nelly’s thoughts.
‘That’s ridiculous. I can’t just jump on him as soon as he gets home.’
‘Really? Then when else are you going to do this?’
Sarah thought about it. Nelly was right about the lack of attention thing. She had never believed in all that wifely duty nonsense, but still, a fumble between the sheets now and again wouldn’t go amiss. And even if they didn’t get under the sheets, it might be nice to have dinner just the pair of them together for once.
‘I could always ask,’ Sarah said, after mulling the idea over.
A slanted grin coiled on Nelly’s lips.
‘Great, then I think it’s time you took a bit of inspiration from some of those books.’