The Sidekick

Chapter Twelve

Tera

I wake up feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck. The crying jag I had last night was the worst yet. My face in the mirror is puffy and red still, even though I stopped crying hours ago. Looks like this is going to be a tough day.

I have to talk myself into going back to work. I wouldn”t hesitate to quit if it wasn’t for Trevor and Max. I might anyway, just so I won’t have a repeat of last night’s episode of sobbing insanity.

I dress and pull my laptop out of its hiding spot. I won’t deal with the ancient computer any more than I have to. I slide a few thumb drives into the backpack with the laptop just in case the old monstrosity at work dies on me. I make sure to put the bar key on my keyring, grab my purse, and head out.

The car ride over just makes the numbness stealing over me worse. The storm clouds are promising snow today, and it matches everything about me right now. When I pull into the parking lot, I notice several other vehicles and sigh. I know I’m running about five minutes past eight late, but I can’t seem to muster up the will to care. Hopefully, they’ve all been given their jobs for the day and will be too busy to notice me coming in.

When I get out and trudge to the doors, I hear several car doors open and shut as people mutter to themselves. The door is locked, and all of the downstairs lights are off. I unlock it, holding the door open for whoever is behind me.

Sal, Diana, Pat, and Emily prance past me, talking happily as if their lives are perfect. Andi and her entourage are back again, which surprises me a little.

“Tera,” Andi pauses, and the rest follow suit behind her, watching our interaction closely. “Are you ok? You look like you haven’t been sleeping.”

“I’m fine,” I try to inject a little feeling into the words so I don’t sound like a zombie.

“If there’s anything we can do to help, please tell us,” Andi insists, reaching to grip my bicep firmly.

“Sure,” I agree and nod. Anything to end this conversation before I break down again.

She hesitates with a concerned frown and sighs as she moves past me. I look at the ground as the rest file past. Some of them say hi to me, and I nod in response like a broken doll. Once they’re all inside, I close and lock the door again.

“Everything looks so different,” Sal says with wonder, running her hand along the spotless bar. She abruptly turns to face me with a frown. “How do you have a key, Tera? I’ve worked here longer than you have, and I don’t have one.”

I don’t have a response to that. Trevor gave one to me for emergencies. Maybe because I never went upstairs to seduce him.

“You can’t even tell that anything happened,” Emily says with a smile.

“Yeah, we worked all day yesterday,” Pat gives them a glare as she, not so subtly, points out that they weren’t here.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure if I could come back,” Sal protests. “You weren’t here when everything went down, so you can’t understand.”

“Tera was here yesterday,” Diana points out smugly. I really wish she hadn’t brought attention to me like that.

“Of course she was,” Emily scoffs, ignoring that I’m standing here listening to every word.

“I can’t help it if this didn’t hit her as hard as it did me,” Sal scowls in my direction, forcing her pretty face into a disgusting portrayal of anger.

“She practically drools all over Trevor,” Emily adds. “Of course, she was here sucking up to him.”

“Shut up,” Pat glances guiltily at me and back to Sal and Emily as if she’s just realized I’m here. I’m grateful for the numbness right now. Otherwise, their words would actually hurt me.

“Tera was practically his right-hand man yesterday,” Diana grins over at me with pride, like I accomplished some remarkable feat.

“Oh? Since he isn’t here, why don’t you tell us what else needs to be done, Tera?” Sal asks snidely.

“Do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore,” I shrug and go to Trevor’s office.

I close the door quietly behind me and look at the couch. I wish Max was here to cheer me up. Seeing the empty space when I turn on the lights weighs heavily on my shoulders.

I set the laptop up and turn on the old computer. Good thing I closed the door otherwise I’d have an audience asking me what I was stealing.

A loud voice breaks up my thoughts, making me jump in fright. I can’t tell what’s said, but I think it’s Trevor. Andi’s harpy shriek follows, and Sal’s voice argues loudly before Trevor barks for quiet.

The door opens, and Max slips inside, closing it quickly behind him.

He looks closely at my face as he leans on the door as if he’s blocking it. His smile seems a little forced as he says, “You’re missing all the action.”

I stare at him blankly; glad he’s here and hopefully won’t say anything mean to me today.

“Andi was screaming at Sal out there. It woke us up. You didn’t hear it?” He asks with a slight laugh.

“Oh.” I frown and look at the desk as if it has all the answers to the questions I don’t have the strength to voice.

“Oh,” he parrots softly and approaches me. “Have you slept?”

“Yeah,” I shrug, but I can’t even remember how long I slept for, only that I did. Why does everybody keep asking me that? Do I look that bad?

“What’s this?” He points at the laptop very close to my face, making sure I can see him with my head down.

“My computer,” I look up and stare at the login screen. I can’t force my hands up to fill in my password, though.

The chair swivels around until I’m facing Max, crouched in front of me. He places his hands on either knee and stares at me with concern. “Talk to me. You’re scaring me a little.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, promptly sobbing again.

It isn’t until we fall onto the couch that I realize he picked me up and carried me there. His arms are wrapped around me tightly, pulling me more firmly into his lap as my knees land on either side of his legs. I press my face into his neck, hoping it will act like a stopper for my emotions. He doesn’t say anything as I cry, just holds me like he can keep me from falling into pieces by the strength of his arms.

By the time I stop, I’m exhausted again. I melt into him like wax and just breathe in his comforting presence. I don’t know how he transformed from grump to savior, but I appreciate it so much.

His hand rubs up and down my back, and he shakes his head in a stilted motion. I hear someone rummaging around behind me but can’t find the strength to open my eyes. A blanket falls across my shoulders, and a hand runs over my tangled hair.

“Your job is to sleep and eat something, babygirl. Can you do that for us?” Trevor asks softly.

I nod and snuggle deeper into Max’s embrace. “Can Max stay, please? Just until I fall asleep.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Max says grimly and shifts until he’s lying on his back with me draped over him.

“Of course,” Trevor agrees.

The lights go out, and the door closes softly, but I hardly notice.

***

I shift in discomfort. My body is pressed into my mattress, and something is crushing me into it. I wiggle again, trying to get my face out of my pillow to take a deeper breath.

“Stop squirming,” a voice grumbles sleepily into the top of my head, and I freeze, trying to place it.

“I didn’t say turn into a block of wood,” I hear a soft chuckle.

“Max?” I whisper in confusion.

“Who else would it be?” He sounds disgruntled as he asks, maybe even jealous, and I get confused as my body relaxes back into his.

“Nobody? Where am I?”

He shifts behind me, and I’m suddenly very aware of his erection nestled firmly against my butt.

“The office. Do you not remember coming here?”

“Oh, yeah,” I remember the drive and everyone coming inside. I kind of spaced after people started getting rude. It’s hard to focus on that when I’m willing myself not to rub against him.

“You needed a nap, and I’m your sleeping buddy.” I can hear the smug tone through his grin.

“Is that like a body pillow,” I tease and giggle quietly. “Those don’t tell me to stop moving around.”

“Now that I know you’re actually awake this time, move all you want.”

That sly tone is so tempting. What would he do if I actually did push my hips back a little?

“Don’t pretend to be asleep now,” his lips brush against the shell of my ear, and a shudder works down my spine as he speaks. I feel teeth gently close over my lobe and suck in a breath as I try to hold still.

“I can’t do this,” I protest weakly as he bites down a little harder.

“Why not?” His voice gets rougher, and his hips press firmly against me before retreating again.

“You and Trevor,” just saying his name sobers me a little out of my horny daze.

“What about us?” Trevor says from behind me, and I freeze up again. Max doesn’t stop sliding himself against me as he waits for me to speak.

“You’re together,” I squeak out and try to press myself into the back of the couch to get away. I wish this was a wardrobe to Narnia so I can escape this awkward situation with a shred of dignity. If Max would just stop for a second, he might realize his dang boyfriend is right behind us!

“Yeah, we are,” Max agrees, proving that he is fully aware of Trevor’s location and doesn’t care because he’s an idiot.

“Max, stop,” Trevor says in that dark voice, but Max ignores him.

“It’s not like Trev is going to protest, bebé,” he says clearly.

Max sucks in a sharp breath as his head is jerked away from mine, followed by a heavy groan as his hand grips my hip firmly, pressing me further into the couch as his hips shift forward again. I can feel his pulse throbbing through his erection despite whatever is happening back there.

“What did I just say,” Trevor’s voice sounds like he’s hovering over us.

“To stop,” Max grits out, and I frown in concern.

“Please don’t hurt him,” I curl my shoulders with a wince. “He’s stopping.”

“I’m not stopping,” Max laughs and thrusts against me again.

“This is what I deal with daily, babygirl,” Trevor says with a strange tone that I don’t recognize. It’s as if he’s irritated and happy at the same time.

“I’m sorry?” It comes out as a question because he doesn’t sound angry about any of this, which confuses me.

“Would you feel more comfortable with him if I left?” Trevor asks me, and he’s back to his usual kind tone just that quickly.

“What?” I can’t help but shift back, and Max makes a choked sound and thrusts harder, his grip tightening enough to leave bruises behind. For some reason, it thrills me to know I have that kind of an effect on him with such a slight movement.

“Better yet,” the dark tone returns. “Press up against him until he cums in his pants. Then he can walk out there to get himself another pair with everyone watching.”

Max pauses and demands, “Don’t you dare.”

A war happens inside of me, starting and stopping in a flash. I want to please Trevor. I always have, and I love the thought that I could make Max cum just by moving a little. They both seem ok with it for now, so why not?

I start rubbing back against him, and Max protests, “Tera, no.”

“You should have listened when he said to stop,” I lean back into him as I turn my head.

Trevor has his hand fisted in Max’s hair, holding him still, and a knee pressed into the cushions behind his butt to keep him in place.

“Do you really think he can cum like this?”

Trevor’s eyes meet mine, and the malicious grin that slides over his lips makes my thighs press together to try to stop the wetness leaking from me at the sight. “Go ahead, babygirl. Let’s see.”

I chew my lower lip as I think about it. If I take this step, nothing will ever be the same between the three of us, and that scares me a little. I don’t want to lose what little I’ve got in one horny insane rush.

“Please,” Max moans behind me, but I’m unsure if he’s asking to be let go or to cum.

“Go on,” Trevor whispers, that smile widening. “Be a good girl and make him cum.”

The words seal my fate.

I turn easily now that Max has his hand braced above me on the back of the couch. When I press my breasts into his chest, he makes that same choked sound that excites me, and I lean forward to kiss his throat. I don’t let myself think as my hand squeezes between us to rub my palm along his erection.

“Shit,” he chokes out and starts thrusting again.

I lick along his neck, nipping him lightly while he curses.

“Is it everything you hoped for?” Trevor whispers in his ear.

“Better,” he groans, and I shift my hand into his pants. I spread the precum I find there around the head before I wrap my hand around his girth. He bucks into my loose grip and grunts in frustration. “Tighter.”

“No,” I bite harder on his neck, forcing Trevor’s head back a little. He laughs breathlessly as I keep biting at Max’s throat.

“A good girl for me alone then.” Trevor sounds delighted as he says it.

“Fuck me,” Max sounds dismayed in contrast.

“Don’t worry, grumpy. You’ll still cum,” I assure him, and Trevor laughs again.

I tighten my grip and slowly start sliding my hand up and down. When Max begins moving again, Trevor grabs his hip to keep him still.

“Pull your pants down. I want to watch,” he demands, and Max scrambles to comply. He’s wearing athletic pants, so it’s easy for him to shove them below my working fist. Trevor pulls on his hip to give himself a better view, and I look down to watch.

His skin is darker than mine, even here, but flushed with heat. He’s leaking from the head, and I bring my hand up over it to spread farther down. I twist my wrist as I slowly work him, loosening my grip when he begins to thrust.

“Damn it, Tera,” he snaps after the third time.

Trevor’s laugh is strained as he says, “I’m close, babygirl. Let him cum.”

I hadn’t noticed that he had let Max’s hip go so he could unzip his own pants. He works his thick length with rough strokes as he stares at Max’s erection in my hand.

“Lift up your shirt,” he snaps to Max and finally releases his hair to stand up fully.

I help Max pull it up just in time as Trevor groans, painting stripes along Max’s stomach with his cum.

“Fuck,” he sways forward and catches himself on the back of the couch. Max’s hand grips his as they both pant, one satisfied and the other frustrated.

While they’re distracted, I swipe a hand through Trevor’s contribution and begin working Max harder. His head turns until his lips meet mine, not kissing, just panting against me as he begs me to let him cum.

The knowledge that I’m the reason he’s been waiting gives me a rush, and I lick along his lower lip. He immediately presses his open mouth to mine, twining our tongues, and I rub my thighs together for some sort of relief. I’m willing to endure this frustration a million times if I can keep him kissing me like this. As if he wants to sink into my skin and live there.

His hips are jerking up harder and harder as he moans into the kiss. When his pace falters, I tighten down, letting him work himself as he breaks away to gasp a breath.

“Fuck. Yes. Please, please, please,” he chants, making my heart thud painfully in my chest. I wish I had recorded his voice just like this.

“It’s ok. Cum for me,” I whisper, and it’s as if it breaks something in him as he cries out and begins spurting over my fist onto his stomach, grinding as fast as possible with the head peeking in and out of my palm. He doesn’t settle, even when he stops ejaculating, giving heavy rolls like he wants me to ring him dry.

When I remove my hand, he turns and desperately kisses me again. I’m lost in my triumph as he presses kisses against my cheeks and nose before he finds my lips again.

“Let her breathe, Max,” Trevor’s voice comes from above us again, and I pull back slightly to look at him, suddenly shy.

He takes the towel in his hand, wiping Max’s stomach down and then his softening penis, which makes Max groan again and start kissing my cheek.

“He gets really affectionate after,” Trevor gives me a wink before he folds the towel and reaches for my hand, wiping it clean too.

“I don’t mind,” I mutter and shift in discomfort. They may have gotten off, but I’m stewing in a puddle of my own frustration.

A soft knock at the door freezes me in place again, frustration forgotten for a moment. Please don’t come in, please don’t come in!

Completely at ease, Trevor tosses the towel into a trash can and walks to the door, unlocking it to open a crack.

“I got some lunch for everyone,” Andi’s voice is hushed. “If Tera is awake, I think she should eat.”

“Thanks. I’ll make sure she gets something,” Trevor says, promptly closing the door.

Rude. But I’m kind of digging not-so-nice Trevor. A lot.

“Tera,” Max regains my wide-eyed attention as he rolls on top of me, continuing to nuzzle my neck as if we were never interrupted. He hasn’t even pulled up his pants. His hand is hot as it slides from my ribs to the waistband of my jeans, and it reminds me that I’m still a horny mess right now.

Just as his fingers start to slip below the band, his thumb rubbing over the button, Trevor clears his throat pointedly.

Max turns his head to look over where he’s sitting in his chair at the desk, watching.

“She doesn’t get to cum yet.”

Excuse me? Says who?

“Unless you can tell me you ate today,” Trevor leans forward with both eyebrows raised.

I’m so tempted to lie. But it’s freaking Trevor, and he’ll know. He is psychic, after all.

“I can’t remember,” I pout and fall back into the cushions in frustration. This is crap. Why do I want to please this jerk again?

Max grins down at me. “The good girl is getting punished so soon?”

I narrow my eyes at him and stick out my tongue.

He just laughs and jumps off of me with his hands raised. “I’ve gotta listen to Trevor. Isn’t that what you told me?”

His taunt is not appreciated, especially since he still hasn’t pulled up his pants, and I get an eye full of how well-endowed he is. I’m distracted by the smug streak of pride that runs through me. I wrestled with that and survived. We haven’t had sex, but I still conquered that mountain. Cue internal fist pump.

Max laughs, “I love the look on your face right now. Did you get a picture?”

I glance in surprise at Trevor as he sets his phone on the desk, “Sure did.”

“Send it to me. I’m setting it as my background.”

“Shut up,” I blush and stand to straighten my wrinkled clothes with a huff of frustration. Max rights his pants as slowly as possible to give me the best view before it disappears. His smug grin makes me pout.

“Max, get the blanket,” Trevor commands and he folds it quickly as I watch, a little jealous that he’s getting to do it instead of me. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me. Max makes a big show of it, too, gloating in my face.

“The sooner you eat, the sooner you get an orgasm, babygirl,” Trevor leans back and absently rubs his thigh.

My glare transfers to him as I cross my arms. I’m supposed to look like a mighty woman in this pose, but I’m really just trying to hide my eager nipples.

If I had known I wouldn’t get anything out of this unless I ate something, I would have stuffed my face before I came here.

“You doing ok?” Max’s concerned tone as he asks Trevor the question makes me drop my arms and focus on the boss man.

“Yeah,” his hand moves to the desk, making a fist as he tosses the word like a challenge.

There’s a brief silence as Max stares at him intently.

“I’m getting your pain pills,” he states flatly and leaves.

“What’s going on?” I ask and hover over Trevor with my hands splayed like I can spiritually find what’s wrong and fix it. Unfortunately, I am not a main character, so I don’t have special powers like that. I’m convinced they’re out there somewhere in the Universe. They just haven’t found me.

Trevor lets out a breath of frustration, “I have pins in my leg, and the cold gets to me sometimes.”

He sounds more like grumpy Max than himself right now. It causes a surge of panic inside me that I don’t understand. Trevor isn’t supposed to be grumpy. I need to fix this ASAP.

Max dropped the blanket back on the couch, so I quickly snatch it up and drape it over his legs. If the cold is bothering him, then the blanket has to help.

As soon as it falls over him, he glares at me so hard I take a step back, surprised at the vehemence there.

“I’m not a damn invalid,” he snaps and roughly shoves the blanket to the floor.

“I just thought the warmth -”

“I don’t need you to do this shit for me,” he interrupts harshly. “You’re only here for Max.”

“What?” I whisper in confusion.

How did we go from sharing one of the hottest moments of my life to this? I’m so tired of being confused in every interaction I have with people. Why does everything have to be so darn hard all the time?

“He’s been wanting you for over a year. I just finally gave in. Don’t let it go to your head,” he explains with a not sexy dark look that makes me take another step back. If only the movement would guard my heart from the stab it just received. I take it back. Rude Trevor is not hot at all.

He finally gave in? He has no interest in me whatsoever. I can feel a hairline fracture start in my heart. An earthquake is happening in there while I’m perfectly still on the outside.

He let this happen so Max would be happy. While I applaud his willingness to go out on a limb to please his boyfriend, I”m hurt that he didn’t explain the situation before things went this far. I kind of thought that he would be into me, too.

Instead, he’s offering me up as a toy to keep his boyfriend happy. What happens when the shine wears off, and I’m not so new anymore? My breath gets short at that thought.

I’m in love with both of them, and this is the only thing I can get in return? To be a warm body when they need it? The other waitresses have no idea what kind of heartache they lucked out of by getting turned down.

Why, though? What makes me not worth a real relationship? I forgot for just a second that I’m a sidekick, not a main character.

That thought strikes a nail into my heart that I don’t know if I”ll ever recover from. The desolate pain of it echoes through me, and I look down, expecting to see blood. Nothing shows on the outside. All of the agony is locked inside my skin.

Trevor shakes his head and gets to his feet with a grimace, “Let”s just get some food.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure,” I nod on autopilot and give him a smile that feels forced. I can’t meet his eyes. I’m too busy trying to get my heart to drop back down from where it’s painfully lodged. My eyes are burning with the need to cry.

He doesn’t wait as he opens the door and limps out so stiffly that I want to cringe at his obvious pain. When he disappears down the hall, I glance around me in confusion. I hear Max demand that Trevor take his pills and stop being a butt, and then they both fade away towards the break room.

I look around in a daze. I feel like I’m looking for my heart. He stomped all over it in here, so it has to be on the floor. When I spot my keys lying on the desk, it snaps me out of it. I pick them up in a rush and grab my purse where I dropped it. The darn non-can of mace tries to roll out, but I catch it before it can make a noise hitting the floor. I’m all about stealth right now.

I need to get out of here. Returning to the bar was a big mistake in a lifetime filled with them. When will I learn to just walk away while I can still stand? I’m suddenly tired of being a sidekick, and I never thought that would happen.

I don’t have to stick around for any of this. I never had to stick around. The only thing left here are memories I’m beginning to think I made up to make myself feel good and pain. A lot of pain.

Given my talent for getting in and out of places without being seen, this will be cake. There’s also the fact that the back entrance is right beside Trevor’s office, and the hinges never squeak. I may have tested it a few times just in case I’m late.

I calmly pull out of the parking lot, forcing myself not to rush and make a scene. Nothing would catch more attention than that. Then I autopilot to my apartment and stand around as if I’m lost. I guess I am at this point. All of my tethers to this town have been cut off one by one.

Would my oldest friend let me move in with her? She lives several states away, so I would have to drive to her. Or has she been lying to me, too, and she’s relieved we’re no longer roommates?

My phone rings, and I have a minor panic attack as I fumble it out of my purse.

? Trevor ? shows in the calling view, and my heart gives a painful throb that spreads acid across my chest. I’m so lame! I should never have gotten my hopes up after I realized he was a main character, darn it.

If I answer, will he tell me to come back? Would I follow his demand without question? I have the sinking sensation that says I would, whether it broke me into even tinier pieces or not. I can’t answer for my own sake, and it feels wrong.

What if he’s sorry?

What if he just regrets Max’s toy running away?

I can’t stand this!

I let it ring to voicemail and put my phone on silent. I can’t stay here if I want to avoid people. I’ve had one person bang on my door and another threaten to break it down. I’m not waiting around for that. I have zero interest in seeing anyone right now, maybe never again.

I pack a duffel bag with clothes and randomly toss in a few snacks. Then I write a hasty note to Mrs. Danvers explaining that I will be gone for a while and she needs to suck it up and ask 3E for help with her laundry. That kid is sweet, and she shouldn’t judge him. I end it with my name and a big heart that makes me cringe. It”s too late to change it now.

I slide the note under her door as I pass and hurry back to my car. It takes about twenty minutes to get to my apartment from the bar, so I should be in the clear, but I trust my gut, and it says move now.

I’m an hour into my aimless drive when I realize I left my precious baby on Trevor’s desk. The next hour is an internal war of going back to rescue her and a fear of dealing with anyone. Fear wins.