Chapter Thirty-Two
Tera
When I wake up, I feel hungover. I have an appointment with Dr. Robinson this morning, but first, I need coffee.
I’m stumbling into the kitchen when Shade says good morning from the couch. I wave my hand halfheartedly, focused only on caffeine.
After the first blissful cup is done brewing, I take my time enjoying the nectar of the gods.
“You look like shit today,” he comments, and I turn to glare at him. I almost drop my cup when I realize he isn’t alone.
Felix and Blaze are in the living room, watching me molest a coffee cup. My entire body suddenly tenses as if I’m about to be attacked, even though they’re sitting there looking back and forth between us like we’re a morning sitcom.
My mouth seals shut as I shift in discomfort. I’m wearing a tank top and shorts, my weight loss readily apparent. I feel like I’m walking around naked, and the neighbors are getting an eye full and taking pictures. I shift my arms to block my chest with my coffee cup in a weird huddle maneuver.
Shade leans forward from his position between them on the couch, propping his elbows on his knees. “Why do you look like shit?”
“Would it kill you to be nice?” Felix asks and covers his face with one hand as he cringes.
“If it did, he would rise from the grave twice as jerky,” I comment without thinking.
Blaze laughs and nods his agreement.
“Stop stalling,” he says, ignoring the banter. Shade points at me and then at the empty chair catty-corner from him. I automatically obey, taking a seat with my coffee cup shield as I glare at him. “Start talking.”
I wince and look down at my coffee, feeling like I got called into the principal’s office. “Can’t they go away for a few minutes while you lecture me? This doesn’t feel like a safe zone.”
“Dr. Robinson homework task number 17,” he replies.
“You looked at my therapy notebook?” Why I’m surprised at his lack of personal boundaries, I don’t know. Of course, he read my notes from therapy. “You’re on an endless quest to destroy me, I’m convinced. You’re really my arch-nemesis. Admit it.”
“Number 17 hasn’t been checked off,” he ignores my outrage to continue. “Extend out of your comfort zone with a group.”
“I was thinking about going to an AA meeting or something, not this!” I gesture at his boyfriends.
“You hardly drink,” Shade snaps back.
“They wouldn’t know that! You’re not required to speak!” I defend.
His glare intensifies. “The point is for you to speak to other people.”
“That’s your interpretation of it,” I sniff haughtily and sip my drink. “Plus, it says a safe group. This doesn’t feel like a safe group.”
They have the audacity to look offended, but Shade is relentless.
“Then you’ll get bonus points for venting in front of a bunch of assholes. Why do you look like shit?”
My lower lip trembles as I get close to breaking. The other guys look around the room as if they’re giving me privacy to decide, which is nice but not the point here.
“Tera,” Shade says in a warning voice with a raised brow. Darn him!
I spill everything. From Max calling for help to the nacho cheese, my panic attack and confrontation with the waitresses, then I stumble through the screaming at Satan thing. I start crying at some point, which makes it even worse. Felix is nodding along with my words with a frown of concentration. Blaze looks confused. Shade watches me with his emotionless mask in place.
When I’m finally done speaking, they give me a minute to collect myself before hitting me with questions.
“Why did you go there knowing it was a bad environment?” Felix asks thoughtfully.
“Max needed help,” I look at him like he’s dumb as his brother nods at him with aspeaking glance I don’t get.
“Are all women vultures preying on each other’s weaknesses?” Blaze asks with a curl of his lips.
My eyes narrow on him, “You’re one to talk.”
He has the decency to blush.
“We were suspicious of you,” Felix says grudgingly. “We took our assumptions too far and alienated you. Our intentions were to protect Andi from possible threats.”
“I can understand your point of view,” I frown as I mull over my own emotions on the subject. Now that I have some distance from the situation and we’re talking like rational people, it’s a lot easier and less painful. “I was mad because I’m the one that convinced Andi to let you guys stay. It took me a full week of arguments for her to agree. I even blocked her email access to her dad with a dummy account and pretended I was her when he sent her questions about you. And none of you could spare five seconds to speak to me.”
They look at me in surprise. I’m actually proud of myself for getting one over on them.
“I wanted Andi safe, and I made the call. Deal with it,” I blush and go to take a drink to find the cup empty.
“Why am I addicted to you?” I mutter and get up for more coffee.
“What else did you do?” Blaze asks suspiciously.
Shade wipes a hand over his face to cover his smile. “You asked for it.”
“I set up an account for her on the dating site Alec was on and figured out how to rig it until they paired up. I let the air out of Damien’s tires so that Andi would be forced to give him a ride home. I checked out a bunch of books in Andi’s name and hid them so Brian would have to meet up with her in person instead of watching her from a distance to collect the late fees. He was pining so hard. It was rough to watch. She had two boyfriends already, and you could just tell he was giving up.”
When I turn back, they’re gaping at me.
“What?” I ask defensively. “More people watching her equaled less alone time. Dating covered the whole who watches her at night thing. No one ever let her go out alone, and when she snuck out, it was with one of her boyfriends. All the angles were covered.”
“You set all of this up while we were tracking who was threatening her?” Blaze looks surprised at the news.
“Well, duh,” I roll my eyes to be petty. “Once you guys arrived, it freed me up to get creative. I didn’t have to go sleuthing in dangerous situations because you guys are trained for stuff like that. But Andi was a job to you, and once the villain was caught, you were going to go home. She needed more round-the-clock support after something that traumatizing, so I made it happen. Now she’s all happy and less harpy shrieky.”
“Tell me why you think you’re stupid again?” Shade asks with a smirk.
“I always thought of it as a banshee scream,” Blaze frowns at me like I spit in his drink, which I would never do.
I think about that as I retake my seat.
“You’re right,” I finally agree, and he grins in surprised triumph. “Do you think there should be a scale, though? Like an enraged battle cry to a scary, soul-crushing submission sliding scale?”
My phone rings, and I get back up to find it. “Discuss while I’m gone.”
When I see Andi’s name, I answer it. “I was just talking about you.”
“To who?” She sounds bewildered.
“Blaze and Felix are here for my unwilling group therapy session,” I confess as I make my way back, phone tucked to my ear.
“Oooh, I want in! Speakerphone me!”
I put it on speaker and set it on the coffee table as I sit.
“So, were you guys talking about how awesome I am?” Her voice shouts from the phone, and I wince, racing Shade to turn the volume down.
“Blaze was just telling us that you have the voice of an angel,” I settle back to watch the panic begin on his face.
“Tera was just telling us about outing Max and Trevor’s bisexual relationship to all the bar employees,” Blaze fires back without hesitation, and my face falls as guilt slams me. Shade thumps him in the chest with his fist hard enough that Blaze wheezes, looking betrayed.
“How did she do that?” Andi asks, uncharacteristically dropping the opening to talk about herself. “It’s not like they’re hiding it.”
“Excuse me?” Felix asks in confusion.
“They’re bi. Who cares? Honestly, half those hos have gone after them already, so it should be common knowledge.”
“I didn’t know,” I say defensively.
“Sweetie, you’re not a ho,” Andi says slowly, and I roll my eyes. “You wouldn’t fling your boobs at someone and hope they grab them. Anyways, what did they say?”
I’m stuck for an answer because my brain has automatically shifted into ‘Is that where I went wrong?’ mode. Luckily, Shade answers for me.
“Tera, no boob flinging. Andi, she didn’t stick around to find out.”
“I said the D word,” I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment.
“Oh, Sweetie,” Andi sighs, and I can picture her grimace.
I dredge up a sigh myself. I need to call and apologize to Max.
“But I still don’t get it,” Andi continues, and I slap a hand on my forehead. “Don’t you facepalm me, Tera Ashlyn Evans. I meant, why would they care if people knew they were in an open relationship? They just don’t seem like the kind of guys to get all bent out of shape about it.”
“Maybe they’re private people who want to stay private?” I suggest through my palm. I’m not sure if that translated well.
“Then you just outed them again to us,” Andi points out, and I drop my hand to stare at Shade in horror.
“Be helpful or get the fuck off the phone, Andi,” Shade snaps and hovers his finger over the end call button.
“Hey! Watch your mouth, number two!” Her voice begins to rise in volume, and I glance at Blaze. He’s right. It is the beginning of a banshee scream. He gives me a smug grin as I nod with wide eyes.
“I’m sorry I doubted you,” I whisper sincerely.
“I single-handedly started group therapy for her. What have you done?” He snarks back. This competition to be my number one best friend has gotten a little out of control.
I cover my face with my hands again and choose to block out the rest of their argument.
“All you can do is apologize and move on,” Felix shrugs, leaving me devastated.
I thought I had given that serious thought before. Now that the final act is here, I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.
“Speaking of moving on,” Andi yells out to regain my attention. “I signed you up with an app, and I’m texting you the login info.”
My phone chimes, and I pick it up to look up the app. It’s a dating site.
“Andi,” I say in exasperation.
“There are so many men out there that won’t treat you like crap. Do you remember saying that to me? And then I found Alec on a stupid app you downloaded for me? I’m paying it forward.”
I bite my lower lip and slowly look up to meet Shade’s eyes as we both stifle our laughter. Blaze clears his throat and Felix coughs.
“Thanks,” my voice wobbles as I try not to laugh.
I don’t recognize the name of this dating app, so I look it up. What I find makes my cheeks turn tomato red.
“You signed me up for this? W-w-why would you do that?” My eyes are practically bulging out of my head at the submissive dating site. Find your Dom now? Oh my gosh. I’m not ready.
“I just did it today,” Andi says with pride. “I know you think you aren’t ready, but I think you need to see the bigger picture and stop fixating. Lots of guys want a little sub sitting at their feet. It’s no big deal.”
Shade snatches the phone out of my hand, and I’m in too much shock to protest. I know there are sites out there I could log into and find someone. Of course, I do. But I didn’t expect to be blindsided like this with an already made-up account.
“Touché, karma,” I mutter and shake my head in disbelief.
“How safe is this one?” Shade asks calmly as the twins read over his shoulder.
“Well, I’m not a computer guru like you two, but it has a 4.5 rating out of 5, and it has the option of a serious relationship or hook-up,” she sounds so pleased with herself while I want to sink into the floor with embarrassment.
Noticing the flush of shame taking over my body, Shade smirks and says, “Congrats on being number two, Andi. You just outed Tera.”Then he hangs up.