13. IVY
thirteen
ivy
“I ’ll be right there.” I end the call, toss my phone onto the bed, and jerk my suitcase out of the closet, my eyes brimming with tears.
“What’s going on, dear?” Aunt Carol rushes into the room, concern etched into her features.
“It’s… Daddy,” I sputter, rushing to pack my bags with trembling hands. As I drop several garments in front of the closet, I try to sort through all the worst-case scenarios plaguing me.
“Hold on, Ivy.” She gently guides me to drop the clothes, then steers me to sit on the edge of the bed. “Take a deep breath.”
I do as she says, but it feels like I’m outside of my body as I inhale and exhale to the beat of the rhythm she sets.
“Now, what did your mother say on the phone?” Aunt Carol asks, her tone even and surprisingly calming.
“Daddy had a heart attack.” Saying it out loud brings with it a whole new round of tears—ones I’m not strong enough to hold back. I sob into my aunt’s arms and stammer, “Mama said… it happened right before he left the hospital after his shift, so he got immediate care. But she doesn’t have any more information at the moment. I need to get to Atlanta right away.”
She lifts me away from her and unsticks my hair from my tear-streaked cheeks. “You’re too distraught to get behind the wheel. Why don’t I drive you?”
“Oh, Aunt Carol, I couldn’t ask you to do that.” I shake my head, but my voice is weak as more sobs escape.
“You didn’t ask. I offered, and it’s no problem at all.” She stands like the matter is handled, and her voice is still steady when she says, “While you finish collecting your things, I’ll pack a bag of my own, okay?”
I think I nod, but it still feels like I’m disconnected from myself. I float around the room in a daze, gathering the rest of my things. I wouldn’t be surprised to find I’ve packed some of Aunt Carol’s things too.
But there’s no time to stop and analyze everything.
I need to get to my father.
* * *
O nce I get a room number from reception, I rush toward the elevator and down the hall as quickly as possible. I’ve been here to visit my father for lunch plenty of times in the past, but being here under these circumstances changes everything. It’s like a dark cloud follows me the entire way to his room, my heart in my throat.
I find Mom and Spencer exiting a room, and the closer I get, the clearer I see their matching frowns. “What did the doctors say? How is he?”
Their spirits lift just a touch when they spot me, and it gives me hope. That’s a good sign, right? If they had bad news, they’d look at me with pity, not joy.
“The doctors said he’ll be fine. There was no damage to his heart or any other organ,” Mama explains. “They’re going to keep him here for a few days, but they expect a full recovery.”
The spools of tension in my muscles unravel, and I’m finally able to take a real breath. I fall into Spencer’s open arms, and he gives me a comforting squeeze.
“Can I see him?” I ask.
Mama checks the door again, through the window of which I can see the end of a bed. “He’s just fallen asleep, and the nurse asked us to let him rest.”
I nod, completely drained from the day. It’s after nine o’clock in the evening, and I could use a boost. “Anyone want coffee?”
“At this hour?” My mother’s eyes bug out of her head as she clutches her purse to one side.
“It’s a hospital cafeteria, Mama. It’s not like they’re brewing third wave single origin espresso.” I smile, but it’s cut off when her red, unamused eyes land on me. “Sorry,” I mumble and brush past her.
I’ve just stepped onto the elevator when my little brother catches up to me, his wavy hair bouncing on top of his head. Our parents have put up several framed pictures of themselves from when they were our age, and Spencer is a spitting image of our father. The resemblance is uncanny, and my chest squeezes as I think about Daddy aging.
Could he have another heart attack soon? What if it’s worse and damages his heart or other organs? What if it happens again, and he’s not already at work in the hospital?
In life, there are always so many possibilities, and it’s easy to worry about the worst ones before they even happen.
“He’s going to be okay,” Spencer says as if reading my mind.
“I hope so.” I step off the elevator, and he walks closely behind me as I lead the way to the cafeteria.
The rancid scents of disinfectants, body odors, and chemicals I don’t know the names of are weaker through the lobby, and as we near the cafeteria, the smells are masked by the scents of coffee and an amalgam of comfort foods.
This is where our father eats many of his meals during the day in between surgeries. It’s hard to believe he’s the patient now.
“It’s just so sudden.” Biting my shaky lip, I accept the small cup of black coffee from Spencer. As he pours his own, I continue verbally sorting through my messy thoughts. “I mean, I know we can never prepare for heart attacks, but it feels… surreal.”
“The drive must’ve been terrifying for you and Aunt Carol. It was hard enough for Mom and me to drive across the city, so I can’t imagine having to stew for three and a half hours.”
I take a small, comforting sip of coffee, which reminds me of the last several mornings I spent on Aunt Carol’s back porch with her. The peaceful songs the birds sang. The steady, calming breeze across my cheeks.
I so enjoyed my time out there, as I did the rest of Sapphire Creek.
It’s hard to believe I was in a completely different town earlier today, with a fun night planned.
Oh, God.
Cole .
I check the time on my phone and realize I’m standing him up as we speak.
“Shit,” I mutter.
“What is it? Do you want to sit?” Spencer dips his head to meet my eye level.
“I just remembered something, but it’s fine. I’ll handle it.” I pat his arm in reassurance. “I’m so glad you’re here. I haven’t seen you all summer.”
A wistful smile tugs on his lips. “I didn’t expect to be gone that long, but one trip led to another. I couldn’t help it.”
“It sounds wonderful, Spencer, and I’m happy for you.”
“It was epic, but if I would’ve known you’d be going to Sapphire Creek, I would’ve figured out a way to tag along.” We fall into step again as we make our way back up to the third floor. “How was it? Has it changed much?”
I contemplate his question. It hits me square in the chest in a way, knocking the breath out of me. The truth is, the question is simple, but the answer is quite complicated.
After a beat, I say, “I think it’s pretty much the same, but… I’ve changed.”
He chuckles. “What’s his name?”
“Excuse me?” I blink. Do I have Cole’s fingerprints on my cheeks or something? How does Spencer know it’s a guy?
“I know you, sis. Our circumstances aren’t ideal at the moment, but you look good. You have this kind of glow that can only be explained by having a guy in your life—a one-of-a-kind type of guy.”
Instinctively, I touch my fingertips to my flushed cheeks, and I can’t help my smile. “Cole. His name is Cole.”
“Okay,” he draws out, waving his free hand. “Tell me about him.”
As we exit the elevator, I fight the urge to twirl through the hallway, although this is definitely not the time or place to gush over such trivial things as romance. Daddy needs our full attention, but there’s loads of relief in knowing he’s going to be fine.
Besides, I darted out of Sapphire Creek without a word. There may not be a guy to rush back to, but then again, this is Cole. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll understand.
We spot our mother, and I talk out of the side of my mouth when I say, “I’ll tell you more later.”
He follows my gaze and nods. He clearly picks up on my reluctance.
Aunt Carol has joined our mother in the hall now that the car is parked. She graciously dropped me off at the door, and I was too out of my mind to insist differently.
“Ivy, darling, Carol tells me you were having a wonderful visit before I called this afternoon.”
“I was.” I sigh dreamily, as if I’ve just returned from a luxurious trip to Italy. I might as well have. I imagine this blissful feeling to be similar.
“You’re looking a little sunburned, though.” My mother smooths my hair back. “And honey, you’re breaking out on your cheek here. You did stick to your sugar- and gluten-free diet, right?”
“Um…” I avert my gaze, and a trickle of embarrassment inches up my spine.
“Damn right, she didn’t,” Aunt Carol swoops in. “Mrs. Goodwin’s been stocking our cupboard with enough croissants to last a lifetime.”
Next to me, Spencer groans and rubs his muscled abs. “Those croissants are the best. I’ve traveled the world, and this could be nostalgia talking, but never have I had a better croissant than the ones from Bready or Knot.”
“That’s what vacations are for, I suppose, but we’ll get you back on track now that you’re home.” Mama winks.
Just two weeks ago, a comment like this from her would’ve sent me spiraling down a river of smoothies and the latest juice cleanses. I definitely wouldn’t be finishing this conversation, for I’d be on the phone with my dermatologist to discuss the breakout my mother pointed out.
But right now, I feel oddly calm. I’m at peace, even, all things considered.
“I don’t think that’s necessary, Mama,” I say.
“What do you mean?” she asks, angling her body toward me in a stance that has previously intimidated me on numerous occasions.
Spencer tenses next to me and whispers, “I don’t think this is the appropriate place or time. Let’s focus on Dad, okay?”
“It’s fine, Spencer. This will only take a second to clear up,” I assure him. “I like croissants, Mama, and I enjoy eating one a day. Hell, I had two this morning, and I’m not sorry about it, either, whether my full hips or broken-out cheeks are showing it or not.”
“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Carol.”
My aunt scoffs, and my jaw drops.
“And I’m glad I have,” I say.
In my periphery, I notice we’ve caught the attention of a couple of nurses, and although I would’ve let such a thing go earlier this summer, I can’t now. It’s about time I stood up for myself.
“Mama, this is just who I am.” My shoulders slump. “For years, I’ve tried to be the woman you’ve always wanted me to be, but it’s exhausting. And it’s just not me.”
Her lips purse.
And I falter for half a second, but my shot of bravery carries me through.
It’s too late to turn back now, anyway, even if I wanted to, so I add, “It’s bad enough that Lawson didn’t want me as I am, but it’s far worse to think my own mother doesn’t accept the true me. But I don’t need your approval. I am who I am, and I’m happy with it. There are plenty of other people who are happy with me too, and that’s enough.”
My mother raises her shoulders high and takes slow, calculated steps toward me. Next to me, Spencer is as tense as the strings on his guitar. He might be terrified for me, but he’s on my side.
Even though Mama stands frighteningly close, I’m okay. Not only is it because I know I’m doing the right thing, but because my little brother and Aunt Carol support me too.
“I see my idea to ship you off to that backwoods small town was good for you, after all,” my mother says, folding her hands at her waist, and the tight lines around her frown give way to a genuine smile. It might not be a full-on, hearty grin, but I’ll take it.
Our collective exhale comes out in a single wave of relief, which makes us all laugh.
Mama wraps me in a hug and gently kisses my temple. “Darling, I’ve only ever wanted the best for you because I love you. Sure, you being like your aunt Carol will be an adjustment for me, but heavens, it’s not a bad thing at all.” She pulls back to meet my gaze and tucks my hair away from my face. “I will admit that after your divorce, I let my worry for you and your future get the best of me. My efforts to keep you on track got out of hand, and I’m so sorry.”
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” I cling to her arms, my eyes burning with tears, but they’re from joy this time. Joy that I’ve finally had a breakthrough with her. It’s been long overdue, but better late than never. “And I am thankful that you sent me to Sapphire Creek, where I got to meet the most wonderful people, including… Cole.”
She squeezes my hands and gasps. “You met a man?”
“He’s charming and handsome. Smart and funny.”
Aunt Carol nods knowingly in my direction, and I practically swoon out of my body while describing him. I don’t even care that we’ve attracted an even bigger audience now.
“This is very exciting.” Mama claps, then asks, “What does he do, sweetheart?”
“He’s a bartender.”
“A bartender?” Her gulp is comically audible, and her flinch of disapproval vanishes almost as quickly as it appears.
Baby steps .
“He makes a mean gin and tonic,” I say with a proud lift of my chin.
“What is with all the commotion out here?”
The four of us blink at each other, then glance toward my father’s room, where he leans on the doorframe, his hospital gown draped neatly over his body.
“Daddy!” I hiss.
Spencer lurches after him. “You’re not supposed to be up and about.”
“Get back in bed, Robert,” Mama orders.
“Hey, old-timer.” Aunt Carol waves from behind us as we march my father back into his room, careful not to tug on any tubes.
For the next hour, we catch up, and my heart swells with each passing minute.
As long as he keeps his ornery tactics to a minimum, Daddy will be back to his normal self in no time.
I just confronted my mother, and I already feel closer to her.
My brother and my favorite aunt are here, and we’re all laughing together.
And the pieces of my life are falling right into place, thanks to a summer of buttery croissants and wonderful surprises.