3
SERAFIN A
W ho knew visiting my best friend’s grave would actually give me the closure I needed?
Not me.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, like I can finally focus on my next steps; revenge. We spent an hour or so at Enzo’s grave. Levi and I mostly talked about the moments we all shared as kids. Levi told me about all the times he and Enzo would get in trouble over stupid shit, and Enzo would always take the rap. That hit me the deepest, because I realized that he was always like that; always the protector.
It felt so good to speak openly about Enzo, so good that for the first time last night, I actually slept. It was a stirred sleep, but it was enough for me to walk into my office the next day with a clear head and an even clearer mindset. I’m still not one hundred percent certain on having Giovanni around, but I can rest easy that Levi has back up if anything were to happen. If only my father felt the same way.
“That was idiotic, Sera,” he barks down the phone.
“What would you have me do?” I snap. “I had protection!” I don’t mention the bitterness I feel about him sending extra protection for me. That decision is up to me and me alone .
“You think a funeral would have stopped The Verdis?” he scoffs. “They attacked you at your own inauguration, at your grandfather’s home!”
I sigh, realizing how right he is. It was na?ve of me to think that I’d be safe there, The Verdis aren’t above anything. “Sorry, Pa,” I reply defeatedly. “I’ll make sure I’m more careful.”
“ Tesora, te amo tanto. I can’t lose you.”
I feel his words hit something deep in my chest. Since the attack, we’ve barely spoken. It’s only because Levi updated him on everything and let slip about our visit. I can’t be mad at him, though. Levi is looking out for me in every aspect of the word.
After saying goodbye, I head into the conference room. Giovanni stands against the wall, his stoic form standing out like a statue that doesn’t belong.
“The Ferrante brothers are in,” Luca states, staring me down as I take a seat at the conference table. His blue gaze is darker than I remember, and his blonde hair has grown out too. I haven’t seen him since months before the attack, but I’m certain he hasn’t seen a razor in a few days.
“And the Rocco family?” Levi asks.
Luca doesn’t answer, and I take his silence as the reply we were expecting. I knew it would be difficult to band the families back together after what happened. It’s hard enough having the backing from those closest to you, let alone those you’ve barely shared the same circles with. Being ruled by a female is practically an abomination, but it isn’t unheard of, which is why I’m not surprised to hear the Rocco family won’t become our allies.
The Rocco family are the most notorious for selling off their women to the most powerful families; anything to get leverage. It was a shot in the dark that they might be willing to align with us, but I take note of the fact that they won’t be siding with the Verdi family either. It seems they want to remain neutral in all of this. It’s probably so they have pickings of the next male to subject their women, too.
Pigs.
I could use my position. The thought has already crossed my mind, but that would be declaring war. Right now, a war isn’t what I need. I’m not willing to put other families at risk unless they put themselves there. It’s something my father taught me, something I’ve come to understand the importance of over the last few weeks.
I look towards Levi, gesturing for him to continue. I’ve left him in charge of this, so he’s the one asking the questions. I’ve put great faith in him to lead this, and so far, he has done a great job. I don’t know what he said to get Luca here, but I am grateful.
“Is there anyone else willing to join with us?” he asks.
Luca glances at me. I can almost see the cogs turning in his head. He blames me for what happened to his father. Hell, I blame myself, too. I’m sure a lot of other families do as well, because if I hadn’t accepted the position, if I had fought my father and rejected the notion, I’d still have my best friend, and members of the other families would still be alive. But I can’t keep living in the ‘what-if’s’. Enzo is gone, Don Fontana has gone. It’s up to me to fix this, to assert my position and remind the families who they are fucking with.
I should really clear the air with Fontana, too, because this room is filled with so much tension you would need a chainsaw to get through it.
“Leave us,” I say softly.
Luca goes to stand.
“No,” I cut in, turning my attention to Giovanni and Levi. “I want to talk to Fontana, alone.”
“I don’t?—”
My glare cuts Levi off. He knows he shouldn’t be questioning me, not unless I ask for his support or advice. This is my decision, and I am willing to accept the consequences.
With a huff, Levi stands. “We’ll be right outside.”
The warning doesn’t go unnoticed. He’s not just letting me know he’s prepared to step in if anything happens, he’s prepared to take down Luca if he comes near me.
After the door clicks shut, I release a breath. I’m not afraid of Luca, but I sure as shit am wracked with guilt, and that does something to a person. It makes me uneasy, uncertain, and obscenely na?ve.
“You really want to be alone in a room with me?” he asks, raising a skeptical brow.
“I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself,” I retort.
I know this is Luca’s way of keeping his distance from me. He thinks that I’ll bring more death and destruction, and he’d be right. But I’ll also bring hellfire and redemption. I’m the one thing standing in his way. I’m the only person who can really stop him from going after the Verdis. Without me, he can’t avenge his father’s death.
Without him, I have no allies.
Pushing away from the table, I make my way to where he’s sitting and perch on the table.
Luca’s jaw clenches, his blue eyes boring into me. I take the time to observe him, noticing the bags under his eyes, the pale skin tone. Sleepless nights and binge drinking will do that to you. He’s suffering, just as much as I am, only I haven’t taken to drowning my thoughts in alcohol. At least, not yet.
When Luca doesn’t say anything, I decide to take the reins.
“I’m sorry for what happened to your father.” Sincerity drowns my voice, my words cracking under the weight of my honesty. I rest my hand upon his. “I wish I could have protected him, but?—”
“I don’t blame you,” he cuts me off, snatching his hand away. Though his gesture of disgust shocks me, his words temporarily offer me some reprieve.
I reply with silence, responding with a grateful nod because I can tell how hard it is for him to say that. I’ve only known the guy a few years, mainly at gatherings between the families, but it’s enough to pick up on his tells.
“I do resent you, though.”
His words catch me off guard. “Resent me?” I frown.
Luca leans back in his chair, folding his thick arms across his chest. His eyes flicker for a moment, his gaze wandering over my face, my neck. “You were the last person to see him alive.”
“I’m not sure?—”
“If you hadn’t taken up the position, he’d still be alive. I don’t know what he was thinking, but he should have known a female leader was going to cause drama. Yet he still chose to protect you.” He stands up to tower over me, knuckles resting on the wooden surface either side of my hips. “Which is what we all promised, right?”
I shudder at the reminder, at the deep tone of his voice that rumbles through me. Looking up, I finally see the sadness in his eyes. He’s not trying to hurt me with his words, he’s trying to make me understand. He’s being honest, even if it’s difficult to hear. My chest tightens, the tears threatening to escape as I think of his father’s cold, dead eyes, staring back at me. They’re the same eyes looking at me now, cementing his position in this vendetta.
“And I will never take that for granted,” I assure quietly. “I didn’t ask for this position?—”
“Yet, you took it.”
“Don’t you think I regret that?” I finally snap, closing a fraction of the distance between our faces. “Don’t you think I know that all of this is because of me!?” I let out an exasperated sigh.
“Regret doesn’t fix what happened, Donna.”
I flinch at my title leaving his lips, because even though he’s remaining respectful, he’s not afraid to express how he feels.
Silence lapses between us. I feel the tension like quicksand. I’m slowly sinking and one wrong move could result in me being nothing but one with the grains swallowing me. “Tell me what I can do to fix this.”
Luca leans forward. He’s so close I can feel his hot breath across my lips. His blue eyes are dark and unwavering and I can’t seem to tear myself away from them.
“Revenge,” he smirks.
There it is. The reason he is here. The reason he is trying to push his hate towards me aside.
“ That , I can do.” I smile back, feeling a sliver of that earlier tension dissipate. “But if me leading you is going to be an issue, I want to know now.”
“You being a woman has nothing to do with it,” Luca’s bored tone pierces the tension as he straightens up. “Some of the best leaders in the world were women. I know what you’re capable of, and I want to avenge their deaths as much as you do.”
“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.” Placing my hand in front of me, I wait for him to shake it.
He looks down at the olive branch, but instead of taking it, he steps away.
“I am an ally, Serafina,” he says assuringly. “But that doesn’t mean we’re friends.”
The last words don’t sting as much as I thought they would. Still, I don’t turn to watch him leave, his words are enough. I wait until the door clicks shut before I slump into the seat Luca vacated, burying my head in my arms. The weight of the situation is getting heavier, and I haven’t even started planning how I’m going to make the Verdis pay.
We could have used the Rocco family’s help, but I should have known their position when it came to me. Not everyone is on board with me leading, but I don’t need everyone. I just need a few allies. Luckily, there are still a few more families to reach out to. At least we have the arms dealers on our side, which means we have the means to attack if and when we need to.
Now that Luca is definitely on our side, I should really start thinking about my plan of attack. Levi was right about one thing yesterday. I did need that closure. I needed to say goodbye to Enzo before moving onwards. Living in the past won’t help me. Except it’s so damn hard to move on. I see nothing but darkness ahead, death and deterioration of this organization. I can’t let that happen.
I just can’t.
The heavy clunk of boots entering the room grabs my attention. I half expect Levi to wrap his arms around me and tell me some stupid joke about Luca’s hairstyle or something. Instead, I am met with silence.
Silence.
Lifting my head, I meet Giovanni’s gaze. He stands stoically by my side, looking down at me with a softness rounding his eyes.
“I’m fine,” I sniff, swiping at my wet cheeks. I have no doubt that I look a mess, but it doesn’t seem to faze my bodyguard. “I’ll be fine,” I reassure, standing up from the table.
Giovanni grabs my arm before I can get away. It’s not hard enough to bruise, but his grip is firm enough to keep me in place. His green eyes are narrowed on me, like he’s silently asking me a question.
For a moment, we just stare at one another. While I’m trying to work out what his silence means, he’s solely focused on my eyes. There’s a weird tension drawing me to him, and it plays at my heartbeat.
His lips twitch, but he still doesn’t say a thing. I can’t tell if I enjoy the silence, or his presence. Whatever it is, I feel a calm wash over me. And when his eyes soften, I feel it; that understanding flowing between us. It’s like he gets me, he comprehends the pain I’m feeling, the guilt I’m harboring.
I want to ask why, but from what I know of the man, I’ll never receive the answer.
No matter what anyone says, I still blame myself for what happened that day. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t say anything. Maybe that’s why I enjoy his silence. His looks seem to say more than words ever could.
I smile weakly, a silent thank you portrayed in my eyes.
“Hey, Ser?—”
Giovanni snatches his hand away like I’ve stung him. It’s an attempt to conceal whatever was passing between us, but I’m pretty sure Levi already noticed.
“Everything okay?” he asks behind me.
I look up to meet Giovanni’s gaze. There’s no telling what’s going on in that man’s head, I don’t know him well enough to decipher every single one of his looks, so I turn to Levi and smile. “We’re good.”
“Good.” He slumps down in one of the chairs, running a hand through his dark hair. “Because it’s time to get the chessboard out.”