27
SERAFINA
F inally, I feel like I’m in a place where all the puzzle pieces are starting to align. Luca has let his guard down fully, Levi and I are starting to find a happy medium between business and pleasure. I know I have a long way to go when it comes to both men. I don’t think for one second it’s going to be easy but I’m hoping they understand that I can’t choose between them. I won’t. It’s not conventional in the slightest, I know, but for the first time since Luciano, I’m finally in a place where I am happy to share myself, not just with one man but two.
A sense of contentment puts a spring in my step as I make my way to the kitchen, switching the coffee machine on and pulling out extra mugs. The tell-tale sign of footsteps approaching has me smiling, and when arms wrap around me, that smile widens.
“Somebody’s happy,” Levi hums against my neck.
“Coffee?”
‘Hmm…” his deep tenor rumbles against my back. “I had something else in mind.”
In one swift move, Levi spins me around, slamming his mouth to mine. Even though we only saw each other yesterday, he still surprises me with a kiss that steals my breath and leaves me wanting more .
His tongue slides against mine in a bruising kiss, his body caging me between him and the kitchen counter. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the way Levi kisses. He can go from gentle to demanding in a matter of seconds, and it’s the unknown of which he’s going to choose that leaves me breathless.
A guttural sound passes Levi’s lips, his hunger palpable as his hands roam my body. I can taste his desire, his excitement pressing against me like a promise. I’m so reactive to him that I can’t even suppress the shiver that crawls up my spine.
A throat clears behind us, and I’m the first to jolt away from Levi, feeling heat flush my cheeks.
The room falls silent, and an awkward tension settles over us. Luca is locking gazes with me, while I feel Levi’s confused and wondrous stare darting between us. When Luca finally steps into the room, I let out a steady breath. Some part of me had hoped this wouldn’t be awkward at all, but then again, I’ve been in a daze since Luca and I had sex.
Luca’s blue eyes bore into me, like he’s minutes away from imploding. I don’t know why I feel so guilty—I’ve already made it clear to him what I want—but I guess seeing Levi and I like this isn’t exactly an ego boost, especially after last night. He didn’t stay much longer after our time together. I don’t know if it was because we would probably end up arguing over me getting involved with the Vultures or if it was something else. By the time I started to question it, he had already kissed me goodbye and left.
“Morning,” Levi sings to Luca.
He grunts, storming past us to grab one of the coffees I just made. Luca takes a sip, not even flinching at the scalding temperature of his drink. “Raf is on his way over here.”
“What for?” I ask, brows knitting together.
“To help with this Vulture issue that you insist is necessary.” I don’t miss the sharpness of his words or the sly dig he makes, even after last night. I thought we were past this argument. If we aren’t, it’s about time to get there because I’m getting a little sick of the lack of respect. Sex or not, I’m still their leader .
“Who pissed in your cereal?” Levi teases.
“Ask Bianchi,” Luca snarks as he walks past us. He barely meets my gaze after that, opting to ignore us both entirely before storming out of the kitchen.
Worrying my lip between my teeth, I stare at the space he just vacated, hoping he’s not too pissed off with me. It’s not like he doesn’t already know about Levi and I. And he knows that I’m going to talk to Levi about it, I just haven’t done so yet.
Though, the longer I take to do this, the more it’s going to hurt them both. I just don’t even know where to start. How do I tell the guy who has had a crush on me for years that I slept with someone else, and I don’t regret it? I can already see how this is going to go down, and while I’m hating the thought of hurting Levi, I have to be honest. I have to rip off the proverbial band-aid.
“Why does he have to be so moody all the time?” Levi huffs, returning his gaze to meet mine. “I swear he needs to?—“
“We slept together,” I blurt, the words pouring from my lips before I can stop them.
The room seems to stand still, a frigid silence enveloping us both as Levi stares at me dumbfoundedly. “What did you say?”
Fear sluices through me that he might up and walk away because of this, but I can’t let that emotion hold me back. “Luca and I… we slept together.”
Levi shudders, like my words make him physically want to hurl. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I’ve just thrown a grenade into a rabbit cage and hoped that they wouldn't get hurt.
Levi takes a deep breath, his nostrils starting to flare the longer he registers my words. It’s so goddamn painful to look at him, like his world is slowly crumbling and I’m the reason. But whether I told him gently or not, it’s not something to take lightly. Why was this so much easier with Luca?
“I—“
“Don’t!”
I flinch at his sharp tone, that one word saying more than he verbalizes .
Levi raises a finger in the air, effectively stopping me from talking. It’s rude, but I get it. He needs to process what I just said and decide how he’s going to deal with it. With the way he’s looking at me, though, I don’t think it’s going to be good.
“You fucked Luca?” he eventually clarifies.
I close my eyes, the brashness of his question cutting me deep. Sure, that’s pretty much what happened, but the meaning behind what transpired between Luca and I runs a lot deeper than just a fuck. There was a connection. There has been one for a few weeks, and no matter how much we deny it or ignore it, the fact remains.
Finally, I respond with a nod.
“When?”
My pulse quickens. All the memories of last night hit me like a freight train. The moment Luca and I shared was fast and dirty, but it was also exactly what I needed; what we both needed. And he seemed to understand me on another level, one where he asked me to trust him, and I did.
“Last night,” I answer nervously. I watch the anger flare in Levi’s features.
He clenches his fists. His jaw hardens and twitches. Levi, the fun-loving, easy-going guy, has been replaced with someone who looks like he’s seconds from losing control and throwing his fists into something. I can only imagine the damage he could cause, but I don’t want that. I don’t want it to be like this.
I step forward, hoping that by closing the distance between us I can regain his focus. “Levi?—“
He steps away from me until his back hits the kitchen island, his head shaking.
“Let me explain.”
“What exactly is there to explain?” he growls. “You wanted Luca so you fucked him.”
I wince again. There’s no way I can ignore how deep his insinuation cuts. “Don’t say it like that!”
“Like what? It’s what happened, isn’t it?” He pushes away from the island, side-stepping around me in the process as he runs a hand through his dark hair. “Fuck’s sake, Sera. I thought… “ He starts pacing, and I’m lost, watching him figure out how he feels about what I’ve told him.
I know exactly what he thought. That we were an item, something exclusive. We’ve never discussed it, but I feel like a total asshole for the way this is playing out.
“I can’t believe you fucked him!”
My frown deepens. “It’s more than that,” I snap.
Levi stops pacing to pin me with a glare. “You want to be with him?”
Cazzo. How do I answer that without coming across like a total slut? I’ll tell you how—You don’t. The band-aid has to come off, all the way.
“I do, but?—“
“Fine!” Levi turns on his heel, marching away from me.
“Levi, wait!”
“For what?” he screams, spinning around to cut me with one final glare. “You’ve made it clear who you want to be with!”
“You didn’t let me finish!”
“Okay…” He paces towards me. We’re almost toe to toe, our gazes locking in place. “Finish!” he barks.
“I… I want you , too.”
There’s another sickening silence that yanks at my heart so hard that I feel like it has sunk to the pit of my stomach. Levi is a mixture of confused and angry now, a deadly combination that I’m certain I won’t be able to pull him from so soon.
“The fuck?”
Footsteps approach, and I hold my breath. Giovanni appears in the doorway, but upon seeing Levi and I, he heads back out. When the coast is clear, I look back at Levi to see doubt framing his dark eyes.
“I like you both.”
He barks out an incredulous laugh, one that I feel right down to my core. “Seriously? You want to fuck us both?”
“Stop saying it like that!” I snarl. My patience is starting to wear thin with Levi’s accusatory tone .
“Well that’s the truth isn’t it? You can’t decide, so you want to test us both out?”
“Are you being serious right now? Is that what you think of me?”
Levi steps closer to me. I can feel the heat of his breath skate over my face, but it’s not a proximity I welcome. The nice Levi has gone; the one who would do anything for me. Now, I’m looking at a broken Levi. A guy who doesn’t seem to understand what I want or how I feel. I know it’s not all about me, but I just don’t know how I’m meant to handle this situation and clearly, I’m doing it all wrong.
“I honestly don’t know what I think of you anymore.”
I freeze. “Remember who you’re talking to, Marchese. I am still your leader.”
In an instant, Levi’s expression changes from hurt and betrayed to a new level of disgust. I don’t like how this is playing out, but I have no control over Levi and his emotions. The only thing I can control is the business side of things and as of now, I’m not sure whether Levi is still with me on that.
“You’re not the leader I thought you were.”
Footsteps resound as Levi finishes his sentence. The room lapses into a tense silence that I’m struggling to escape from. His words sting and my vision starts to swim with threatening tears.
When I finally look up, it’s Giovanni I lock gazes with. But not even his soft green eyes can steady me.
As if on cue, Levi gives me one last look of disappointment that pinches at my chest before walking away from me, leaving a trail of restrained anger in his wake. I’m left with the awkwardness of Giovanni’s inquisitive stare and a fuck-load of answers I never gave Levi.
I should have been softer with him. I should have broken this news to him in a different way. No matter how much I try to figure this out, though, I have no clue what I’m doing. I’ve never been in this situation before and there’s not exactly a book on threesomes for dummies.
Spinning around, I swipe a stray tear from my cheek. Levi’s words hurt me more than I thought they would, and I was expecting some different words entirely. But this; the disappointment and dismissal, cuts a lot deeper than just calling me a whore would.
The slam of the front door signals Levi’s departure. I gulp in several breaths of air to try and calm down, but it’s too damn difficult.
And then I hear the commotion.