30
SERAFINA
B y the time evening comes, Marco has planned their trip out to every last detail. It’s not complex since they’re just doing some recon, but it’s vital that we cover all bases. I can’t say I’m happy to stay behind. The last thing I want to do is stand on the sidelines.
If anyone gets hurt, it’s on me. I already have so many deaths on my shoulders and I don’t need the body count to go up. But at the same time, I understand how important it is for me to remain at home and be safe. With Giovanni here, I know I will be—I just hope the rest of the crew are, too.
I look out at the crew that has come together in such a short amount of time. It’s amazing what can blossom from a common enemy.
Luca and Marco are deep in conversation while Levi watches me from the window of his car. We still haven’t spoken about the other day. I’ve tried to, but between Luca’s grunts and Levi’s silence, it’s difficult to have any kind of real conversation.
Luca is also still annoyed that I’m going through with this plan to get Zeke’s daughter back. I know it could be dangerous and I know that if the Verdis find out about what we’re doing, it could spell more trouble for not just me and my crew, but the Vultures, too. It’s a big risk, but a necessary one. I need the Vultures off my back and on my side. I need to cut off all possibilities of the Verdis gaining an advantage in this war.
“We’re all set,” Matteo says from his position beside me, making me jump slightly. I’ve been lost in my own little world for a few minutes, wondering if either Luca or Levi are ready for a long overdue conversation.
“Good,” I smile, turning my attention to Matteo. “I don’t need to remind you all to be safe.”
“No you don’t, Bianchi,” he says, turning to wink at me. “But I’ll make sure to have your guys back in one piece.”
“That goes for you too.”
He clutches a hand to his heart, his playful side coming out. It’s one of the things I like about this twin; his ability to make light of a situation, no matter how bad things seem at the time. “I didn’t know you cared.”
I nudge him with my shoulder playfully. Despite me being his leader, I enjoy being able to joke around. I’m still young enough to relish these moments while making sure business runs as usual.
“But seriously,” he says, a grave tone lacing his words. “I will bring them back to you. They’re just being hard-headed right now and can’t see that what you want isn’t a bad thing.”
I cast my head down as I think back to the day in this very courtyard when Luca and Levi had their guns pointed at one another while Levi accused me of wanting to get the whole crew on a roster. It hurt to hear Levi voice what he really thinks of me, and the lack of respect pissed me off too. But I was at fault. I’ve had more time to think about how I sprung the news on him, and I know I need to make this right. I just can’t seem to get through to him.
“Donna Bianchi,” Matteo calls my focus back. “Not many women would voice what they want, especially someone in your position. But that’s not something to be ashamed of. Be proud that you owned that shit, because…and I don’t want to overstep but… it’s hot as fuck.”
I can’t help but crack a smile. I know what he’s trying to say— Matteo seems to understand more than anyone what I want and why I want it. Then again, I can’t say I’m surprised. He seems like the type to explore his sexuality a lot more openly than his twin.
“Don’t take no for an answer, Bianchi,” Matteo adds as he jumps down the last step we’ve been standing on. “You hold the power. Make them your bitches.”
Rolling my eyes, I watch Matteo back away, sauntering off to Levi’s car. He reaches the passenger side before turning and throwing another wink at me, then slips inside the vehicle.
All at once, the engines roar to life before one by one they leave the courtyard. Luca and Marco have each taken a vehicle with some of Greco’s men, while Levi and Matteo drive ahead of the convoy together. The plan is to make it to the Valley before sundown, giving them just enough light to get to the compound—but not so much that they’ll be seen. Raf has set up his computers in the den, ensuring we have constant communication as well as sight of the compound, so we won’t be completely in the dark with this mission.
I wait until the gate closes at the bottom of the drive before I head inside. Giovanni is already in the kitchen, brewing coffee silently. He turns as soon as I enter, passing me a mug before perching against the kitchen island.
“Thanks,” I say, joining him.
He nods before we both let the silence blanket us. This is one of the few times I enjoy his quiet persona, never asking questions or prying too far. When it comes to recent events, I’m glad to be surrounded by Giovanni’s silence and not Luca and Levi’s disgruntled scoffs.
We sip our coffee in silence, never lulling into any kind of awkwardness. It’s nice to be able to think while in the company of someone else, never having to answer questions. Today of all days, I’m just not ready for them. I’m still trying to figure out what to do about Levi and Luca.
I can’t choose between them; it’s just not an option. My feelings for Luca grew tenfold in the space of such a short time that I don’t even know when it happened. Levi has always been there and it wasn’t until that moment we shared in my office weeks ago that I realized I liked him more than just my second-in-command. Everything is so confusing right now that being alone with my thoughts is a welcomed reprieve I’m thankful for.
Warmth covers my hand, snapping me out of my daze. I glance down to see Giovanni’s hand resting atop mine, an unusual but familiar gesture he has made a few times before. When I look up, the depths of his green eyes are brimmed with curiosity. Giovanni’s gaze softens, his touch on my hand contradicting. Sometimes I wish he would just say something, anything to break up the silence and reassure me. Whatever the reason is for his vow of silence, I respect it. I also respect the willpower he holds because it can’t be easy holding back on wanting to speak out.
“I’m okay,” I reassure. “I’m just thinking things over.”
He tilts his head, a sigh flaring his nostrils.
From the way he looks at me, I’m hazarding a guess he wants me to talk.
“I worry about them, you know?” I admit. “I worry about all of you. I know danger comes with this position, but if anything happened to any of you…” I heave a sigh, a hiccup of air hanging in my chest. “I don’t think I could live with myself.”
Giovanni gives my hand a squeeze, and that reassuring comfort he manages to ease me into effortlessly swallows me up. It’s so easy to be around him. I wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s the silence, but more that his actions feel so much more genuine than words ever could.
I gaze up at him, a hopeless expectation lingering between us. For a moment, I wonder just how much I would care if something happened to Giovanni. I don’t know anything about him, but he’s certainly proved how reliable he is. His loyalty goes without question, and despite the vow of silence, I feel like I know him better this way.
It’s the little things that I notice the most about my bodyguard. The subtle way his nostrils flare when he’s angry; I swear Giovanni almost had an aneurysm from Levi and Luca’s showdown in the courtyard. The green in his eyes seems brighter when he’ s trying not to smile—and yes, there have been one or two occasions where I’ve seen a gentle smile grace those lips.
I find myself staring for too long, relishing the soft touch of his hand on mine. There are so many things I wish I could know about my bodyguard. If it weren’t for the silence, I’m not sure I would be so intrigued. Then again, Giovanni captivated me from the moment he stepped into my office.
“They’re going to be fine.”
Giovanni snatches his hand away, a chill eating up the place where his palm once was.
Slowly, I turn to see Raf standing in the doorway. He clears his throat, suddenly aware of the tension in the room. His eyes dart between us until I glare at him, silently imploring him to say whatever he came to say.
“I won’t let anything happen to them. I promise.”
I cast a glance over my shoulder at Giovanni, but he’s already pushing up off his stool and moving towards the sink.
With a huff, I look back at Raf. “Maybe you should get back to it then, instead of standing here trying to convince me.”
He waves a phone in the air, the moving image of the convoy heading towards the valley on the screen. “Figured you could use some company.”
“Gio was doing fine without you,” I snap. I know I’m being hard on the guy, but I can’t seem to stop it or find it in me to care. The asshole pretty much watched me endure Luciano and his tyrannical love for months and did nothing. Even when he caught me trying to leave one night to meet Enzo, he didn’t try to help me. Instead, he called Luciano and I was snatched away before I could do anything.
Memories like those stick with people like me. Abuse, negligence, ignorance. None of that diminishes, no matter how many years have passed. No matter how much growing up we’ve all done, I will always remember those helpless moments. They might have shaped me into the woman I am today, but that’s through no influence from Raf.
“Sera,” he sighs, perching on the stool that Giovanni just vacated .
I turn my head, but my silent bodyguard is nowhere to be seen. Great.
“I meant what I said. I won’t let anything happen to them. You have my word.”
Glaring at Raf, I meet his stubborn gaze. I sip my coffee, using the time to evaluate and consider my next words. “I’m sure you can understand why your word means very little to me. The only reason you are here is because of Luca. If it were my choice…” I lean forward, making sure he understands the wrath I conceal beneath the surface. “I’d have thrown you to the Vultures already.”
“And I’d respect you for that.”
His response throws me off. I’m surprised by Raf’s discernment. I expect him to toss some nonchalant comment my way or shrug me off. Instead, empathy shines in his eyes.
“I can’t ever forgive myself for what I did to you, Bianchi. I don’t expect you to do something I can’t. But I can prove my loyalty to you.”
“Like you did with the Verdis?” I snipe.
“ Cazzo !” He slams his fist on the kitchen island. “I was young, Sera! I didn’t know any fucking better! You of all people know the power that family has over people. I was sucked in, goddamnit!”
Shock freezes me in place. His outburst and admission surprises me even more than before.
“But I’m not that person anymore. What they’re doing is fucked up, and I want to make sure they pay.”
I narrow my eyes. I don’t have a clue about what he wants them to pay for, but I’m certain it’s not because of the attempt on my life or killing my best friend. I’m aware that his sister died in a shootout, but I have no idea who was behind it or how she came to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe this has Luciano’s name all over it, or maybe it’s the family?
I don’t expect him to tell me anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure the opening for me to ask questions is closed now. So we just sit in silence, staring at one another, neither of us knowing what to say.
I finish my coffee while still in the awkward company of Raf. It isn’t until I make my way to the sink to wash my mug that he finally speaks.
“I know what’s going on with you and the guys.”
I spin around, hands gripping the kitchen counter behind me. Of course Raf would have found out about Luca and Levi. Information like that gets passed around so quickly I’m surprised he hasn’t said anything before now. Then again, we’ve not really been in the company of one another for this long before.
“It’s none of your business,” I reply, swiftly turning around to clear the sink.
“No, you’re right. But I just want to say that what you want isn’t as outrageous as you think.”
“And what do you know about it?”
“Nothing,” he answers honestly. “But clearly the guys aren’t on the same page as you.”
Turning back around, I lock eyes with Raf. I don’t like the fact we’re talking about my private life so openly. He has no right to give me any opinion on the matter. Whatever is going on between me, Luca, and Levi is just that. It doesn’t involve anyone else.
As if sensing my hostility, he holds his palms in the air. “All I’m saying is, I know Luca. And if Luca and Levi are anything alike, they’re probably coming from a place of insecurity.”
Up until now, I assumed it had something to do with Levi not wanting to share. I thought his anger was because I betrayed him and what has been going on between us. It didn’t occur to me that my confident second-in-command would feel insecure.
“What exactly does he have to be insecure about?” I find myself asking. Though I still don’t like having this conversation with someone who fucked me over years ago, I find that Raf is probably the next best person to discuss this with. He knows Luca, and he’s a guy. He must have some insight for me that I can use.
“Well,” Raf chuckles. “No guy wants to share a girl with someone else. I mean, threesomes are hot, but they’re temporary. You’re talking about having a relationship with both of them, right?”
“I guess,” I answer, though I’m still wary of that term. The last time I fell into a relationship, it ended badly. Do I really want to go through that again?
Raf nods, sliding off the stool to rest a hand on my shoulder. “All I’m saying is, those guys have been raised to be the best. They’re the protector, the enforcer. They’re their own competition, they don’t need to be each other’s.”
“That’s not what this is.”
“I know,” he smiles. “But maybe it’s time you showed your loyalty to them?”