45
GIOVANNI
A soft hand strokes my face, coaxing me out of my sleep. I lean into the warmth, knowing exactly who the owner of that gentle touch is. Her just-showered scent of apricots and cream pulls me from the darkness, her steady warm breaths skating over my chest drawing me closer to her.
I shift my body as carefully as possible to let her slip into my side. It has been a week since the shooting, so I’m still managing the pain and discomfort with sleep and painkillers. Sera’s nightly visits also seem to be helping speed my recovery, though I think it’s more to do with my mood than anything else. She seems to brighten up the dull edges of my life, painting the sepia tones in technicolor. I don’t think she realizes how potent her presence is, like a ray of goddamn sunshine on a miserable day.
“Sorry,” Sera whispers, but I can hear the smile in her voice. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I’m not complaining,” I mumble as Sera rests her head on my chest. “Do the guys know you’re here?” I don’t know why that’s the first thing I think of, but after everything, the last thing I want is for one of them to come storming in here.
“Luca caught me sneaking out.” She snuggles deeper into my embrace, her hand resting across my chest where my heart races beneath the warmth of her palm.
The evening visits have become a sort of ritual ever since I woke up a week ago. She sneaks into the pool house, slipping under the sheets beside me like we’ve been doing this for years. It all feels so easy, so natural. So much so that the hard lines I’ve created to separate my feelings from my job are slowly blurring.
I’m sure the guys have something to say on the matter, but I have no doubt Sera has already rebuffed them. That doesn’t mean they have to like it, though.
“You’re going to get me in trouble, Principessa .” I voice my thoughts, no longer worried about the boundaries we should have.
“Totally worth it,” she whispers.
I smile at her defiance. She’s definitely a force to be reckoned with.
“For you, maybe,” I grumble. I still have to think about the other two guys in her life that are willing to go to war for this woman.
“No one will get past me, I promise.”
I hold onto the thought of her endearing promises; the ones that she abides by. Promises are the foundation of Donna Bianchi, making her the strong leader that she is. She doesn’t need to use brute force because her word carries more weight.
We lapse into a soft silence. Just like all the times before, it’s comfortable. It has always been like this between us. I chalk it up to the amount of times we’ve been in each other’s company and she’s had to settle for my silence. It’s a cycle we run through every night until she surrenders to her exhaustion. I don’t mind so much. Here, in the depths of this room, I get to see a new side of Sera that I don’t think she has shared with the others yet. It spreads a profound warmth through me that I don’t want to lose.
“Do you ever wish your life was different?” she whispers into the darkness.
The question reaches deeper than our usual conversations, but it seems like something is bothering her, so I’ll bite. “I’ve never really thought about it,” I mumble into her hair. “Do you?”
She takes a deep breath, her chest pressing against my side while her fingers stroke idle circles over my pec. “Would it make me a bad person if I said no?”
My jaw feathers with all the unspoken words I wish I could say. There’s an entire dictionary dedicated to describing everything about Serafina, but a bad person? She couldn’t even come close to that. “You don’t have a bad bone in your body, Principessa . You’re strong, stubborn, defiant. But a bad person? No.”
Sera squeezes herself against me. I can already tell that my words mean something to her and when she lets out a little sigh, she melts a little further into me.
“I missed you today,” she hums, breaking through my torrent of adoring thoughts.
My heart seems to beat faster and heavier at those words. I’d like to put it down to the fact that I’m always by her side, but the sincerity in her voice tells me it’s more than that. I’ve missed her too. These nightly visits are what I look forward to the most. Since I haven’t been given the all clear yet, I feel like a loose end, just wasting the day away.
“Bad day?” My arm instinctually wraps tighter around her. I’m not a stranger to the feelings that have developed between us over the last few months. Even the last week has intensified how I’m feeling, and I want nothing more than to be able to take away whatever bothers Sera so she can focus on more important things.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” she replies with conviction, and I have no doubt that’s true. She can handle anything that comes her way; I’ve seen firsthand how strong and powerful she is.
“Anything you want to talk about?”
Sera shakes her head, her hair tickling my neck. “No, I just wanted to see you.”
“I didn’t realize my presence meant so much to you,” I smirk into the darkness. Though she obviously can’t see my expression, she still slaps me playfully, lifting up to brush her nose with mine. It’s intoxicatingly intimate. Another push in the direction where boundaries start to cross over into uncharted territory.
“It does,” she says firmly, her hand stroking my face. “You do. ”
A part of me aches at the thought of her being so close, yet still untouchable. One inch closer and there would be nowhere for me to go.
Her breath skates over my face, the fresh scent of mint making me all too aware of my own. But she doesn’t seem to mind. She leans in further, a hiccup of air hanging between us. “It scares me, you know?”
“What does?” I frown, my own insecurities making my voice gravelly.
“Being afraid to lose you, when you’re not even mine to lose.” Her fingertips dance along my jawline as her admission sinks in. We’re toeing the fine line of employer and employee, and though her father gave me strict instructions to keep his daughter safe, I can’t find it in me to care that this isn’t what he was referring to.
Pushing my fingers through her hair, I let her settle her weight on me. “I’m not going anywhere, Principessa .”
The thread of tension that has been building ever since we met seems to snap. It’s slow at first, the way she kisses me; barely a brush across my lips yet I feel it all the way down to my toes. The room seems to fall away from the subtlest of kisses. I feel every fiber of my being responding to her proximity, to her touch. One brush isn’t enough, though, even if it feels like she’s testing the waters.
I’m done with stepping so close to the edge of our boundaries, done with treading water in the hopes someone might pull me back to safety. I want to drown in Bianchi, just like Marchese, just like Fontana.
I grab the back of her neck, closing what little distance is between us. The space between us explodes as our lips slide against one another’s. Every inch of me reacts to her. My heart keeps missing beats, my fingers tangle in her hair, desperate for more, but I can’t bring her close enough.
A soft mewl escapes her as our tongues tangle. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten lost in a kiss quite like this before. All I can seem to focus on is this kiss, the way her lips move with mine, the way her skin feels beneath my touch. She’s the effortless beauty you crave so badly that when you finally get it, there’s nothing to compare it to.
Sera is the first to pull away. I’m not sure if it’s regret or shame that makes her do it. Her breath stutters as I stroke my thumb over her cheek. She doesn’t retreat, which I guess is a good sign, but there’s still the lingering sensation of doubt that I can’t shake.
“I never thanked you,” she whispers softly.
“For what?”
She reaches between us, her fingertips tracing the bandage over my stomach. “For this. For saving me. I hate that you took a bullet?—“
“I was just doing my job.”
Her hand pauses, no longer allowing her gentle ministrations to soothe me. For a beat, we’re frozen in the dark, only the soft moonlight casting shadows behind her. I can’t see her face, I can’t make out the expression on it. But when she starts to move away, I know I fucked up.
“Right,” she says, clearing her throat as she sits up. “Of course, your job.”
Realization starts to sink in as I think about what I said. I don’t know why it came out like that because I never meant it in that way. Even though it is my job, I would never have done anything different. I would have taken that bullet a million times over for Bianchi, regardless of my position here.
“Sera…”
She moves off of me, sliding out from the covers to stand. She’s so fast that I barely have time to register what’s happening.
When I do, I try to move. I try to get out of the bed; anything to stop her leaving me. “I didn’t mean it like that, Sera.”
The piercing silence is even more painful than the gunshot wound.
“Where are you going?”
Her feet pad towards the door. Without even turning around, she throws an order over her shoulder that is devoid of all emotion. “Get some rest, Gio.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate your pain?”
I level the doctor with a glare. If he’s referring to my physical pain, it’s near non-existent. If he’s referring to the fact I haven’t seen or heard Serafina for a week, that shit is agonizing. I didn’t think her absence would hurt so much, but with the way things escalated and then abruptly ended, it stings more than when the doc pulled that bullet out of me.
“Zero,” I answer through gritted teeth.
He raises a brow in question, but he doesn’t look like he’s going to fight me on this. It’s the last thing I need right now, too. All I want is to get a goddamn shower and feel normal. I’ve got a new dressing on the wound. And after checking the stitches, it’s good news that I’m healing well. Though I could have told him that myself last week.
I’m itching to get back to work, back to doing my job and, more importantly, being by Sera’s side. I know she’s in good hands with her crew, but nothing beats an extra pair of hands.
“I’d still like you to take it easy, Giovanni. I don’t want you tearing any stitches. No strenuous exercise or?—“
“Sure,” I snap, pushing up from my bed.
“I’ll let Donna Bianchi know that?—“
“No,” I cut him off, turning on my heel. I look down at the man. He’s short in stature, ancient in age, but the look in his eyes tells me he has enough experience with this side of life. “I’ll tell her myself.”
With a firm nod, he starts packing up his equipment. Once he’s left, I sit and ruminate over what I’m going to do next. It’s two in the afternoon, and judging by how quiet it is, I’d say the time for laying low is over.
I run through the motions of showering—careful to avoid the dressing—while thinking about where I might find Sera. The first thing on my mind when the doc came to see me was Sera, and now it’s all I can focus on. Sure, the doc giving me the all clear is a positive, but the fact I get to see Sera is much more appealing.
She can’t avoid me now, either. The ball has been in her court for the last week, and she hasn’t returned the volley. It’s my turn to steal it for myself.
Once I’m suited up, I snag the keys from the key box in the hallway of Sera’s place. I have no idea where I’m going to find her, but if she isn’t here, there are very few places she’d be. I’ll start with the most obvious one: her club.
The ride down to the city isn’t very long. My building excitement blended with my apprehension makes the journey fly by, and in no time at all, I’m pulling into the underground parking lot of Haze.
The dim glow of lights brightens as I enter. It’s a stilted welcome for anyone arriving, a sense of foreboding sitting in the air. This is where Luca killed one of The Vultures in cold blood, the place where Sera decided enough was enough. The pool of blood is long gone, but the sense of empowerment still lingers.
I head towards the elevators, punching the button for the top floor when I’m inside. It’s a steadyride up to the top, and I can already hear Sera’s voice from the corridor.
Steadying my breath, I march towards her office. I have so much on my mind, so much I need to say to her. The way we left things has only cemented the fact that I need to be around her. She’s the breath of life I need, the spark to light my candle so that I can see through the darkness. The haunting thoughts of my daughter have clung onto me like insidious claws, and it’s time to shake them away.
I push through the door, locking eyes on Sera, who has her phone pinned to her ear. She takes one look at me before she hangs up, stepping around her desk immediately.
In less than three strides, I eat up the distance between us. It’s now or never. I have to tell her how I feel. I have to tell her the truth.
“Gio—“
I slam my lips onto hers, not giving her the chance to say whatever it is she wanted to say. It’s feral, hungry, and just like our first kiss, it stokes the fire in the pit of my stomach. The one that has been burning embers ever since I lost my wife. She’s the first woman to make me feel like this in so long that it feels too right to ignore it any longer. I don’t care if she thinks our kiss last week was a mistake, because right now, I’m forcing every single emotion into devouring her mouth.
Our tongues tangle. Her hand glides through my hair as I back her up against the wall. I grip her waist, pressing my chest flush with hers until our breaths fill the space.
Sera tilts her head back, opening the kiss up so I can deepen it. A soft moan escapes her, the sound going straight to my dick. My entire body reacts to hers like we’ve been doing this our whole lives, and when she finally pulls away, the anxiety over this moment dissolves.
“What was that for?” she breathes out.
“You’re not just a job for me, Principessa .” I cup her cheek, stroking my thumb over it. The scar above her left eye catches my attention, reminding me of how precious life really fucking is. “I want you to know that.”
She nods, her bottom lips finding its way beneath her teeth.
“I don’t know when things changed for me, but ever since I walked into this damn room months ago, you’ve been more than a paycheck.”
“You mean that?” she asks, her voice breaking with uncertainty.
“I do.”
She takes a deep, choppy inhale, her chest fluttering under the weight of my words.
“I don’t just want to protect you, Principessa . I think…” I pause, deciding on what the best words are for this situation. I know exactly what I want. I think I’ve wanted it for so long that it isn’t even a question in my mind. The real question is whether Serafina will want me the way I want her.
“Do you want more?” She tilts her head, hope blossoming in those dark brown eyes of hers.
“Is that okay?” It’s my turn for uncertainty to settle over me like a blanket.
“Yes,” she smiles, pushing up on her toes to kiss me once more. Her hands wrap around my neck as she rubs her nose along mine. “But I’ll need to speak to Luca and Levi first.”
I suppose that’s fair enough. I can’t ask for much more than that. I just need to prepare myself for what comes next.