Chapter 31
Seven AM
Elowen
The coffee maker comes to life, gurgling and hissing on the counter. I stand in front of it with both hands wrapped around an empty mug, watching the dark liquid drip into the pot.
I wish like hell it would brew faster. I’m in desperate need of caffeine.
I shift my weight from one foot to the other and bite down on a smile like an idiot.
I can't remember the last time I woke up feeling like this.
Not only the physical part, though that is considerable. Every muscle below my waist is making its presence known. My thighs are so sore that walking down the stairs this morning felt like a challenge. And the deep, satisfied ache between my legs didn’t help either…not that I’m complaining.
But it’s what I feel beneath it. The warm, loose feeling of someone who slept deeply and without fear, sandwiched between two big alphas that didn't let go of me all night.
The machine gives one last hiss then goes quiet, and I immediately reach for the pot.
"Good morning!"
I spin around so fast, I nearly take the coffee pot with me.
Perrin is at the bottom of the stairs, his honey-blond curls flattened on one side and his eyes bright despite the early hour.
He's wearing a faded grey shirt and a pair of navy sweatpants.
He looks so genuinely delighted to find me standing in his kitchen that something in my chest does a small, involuntary somersault.
"Morning." I smile, pressing a hand to my sternum. "You scared me half to death."
"Sorry," he grimaces slightly as he crosses to the cabinet and pulls down a mug. "You're up early."
"I'm an early bird," I say as I pour myself a steaming cup.
Perrin glances sideways at me, one brow lifting, like he can’t believe anyone would choose to wake up so early.
"Well," he says, taking the pot of coffee from me.
"I'm not into early mornings. I usually never get up before ten.
" He pauses, narrowing his eyes at my face.
"Although mornings might be worth reconsidering if it means I get to spend more time with you.” His ears go pink the second the words leave his mouth, then he quickly looks away.
His bashful reaction is so sweet and sexy, that I can’t help but smile.
He really is a very handsome man.
I watch as Perrin prepares his coffee, adding cream and sugar.
His navy sweatpants sit low on his hips, and the morning light coming through the window catches the broad line of his shoulders. His arms really are very muscular for a beta. The solid curve of his biceps flex slightly as he sets the spoon down.
He's built differently from Adam.
While Adam is very fit, he’s lean with defined muscle.
Perrin is softer through the middle in a way that somehow makes him look more substantial, with thick arms and legs, and impressively broad shoulders.
"I usually sit in the dining room in the morning," Perrin says, nodding toward the back of the kitchen. "It’s quiet and there's better light. You're welcome to join me if you want."
"I'd like that," I say, holding my cup of coffee with both hands.
The second we step into the hallway off the back of the kitchen, I realize I didn't really take any of this in during Adam's tour the other day. I was too busy trying to hold myself together to pay attention.
I slow as we pass an at-home-gym on the left, catching a glimpse of rubber flooring, weight racks, and a heavy bag hanging from a ceiling mount. The study is on the right. It has light wood bookshelves and a wide desk with a lamp still on from the night before.
Then the hallway opens up and I stop.
The dining room is spacious and flooded with the early morning light.
Four massive windows run along the back wall from almost floor to ceiling.
There’s a glass-paneled door to the right, opening directly onto the deck, and beyond it the lawn is so green it looks unreal.
Pretty maple trees flank the corners of the yard, and little flower boxes line a pathway that leads to a gate.
"Adam does the landscaping," Perrin says, watching my face. "Every Saturday morning without fail."
"It's beautiful," I say, and I mean it completely. Although, I'm pretty sure this is a sunroom and not a dining room, but it doesn't really matter.
We sit side by side at the table, looking out at the lovely yard with our mugs in hand. I wrap both hands around my coffee and take a slow sip. Warmth spreads down my throat and into my chest, and I close my eyes for a second, savoring it.
Everything in this room feels gentle. The light, the quiet, the unhurried way Perrin lifts his mug. Even the yard beyond the windows looks like something out of a dream. Still, green, and completely serene.
"So," Perrin sets down his mug, and I notice his ears are still pink. "How are you settling in?"
"Better than expected," I say honestly. "Your pack is very." I pause, searching for the right word. "Overwhelming. But in a good way."
Perrin smiles into his coffee. "That's a diplomatic way to put it."
"I'm trying to be polite."
"You don't have to be polite with me," he says, glancing up. "I'm the least intimidating person in this house by a significant margin, and I've made my peace with it."
"That's not true," I say.
He gives me a flat look. "Elowen. I live with two alphas who could bench press a car and my brother who has enough energy to power a small city and absolutely no idea what to do with it. And then there’s me.
” He gestures vaguely at himself. “I'm the human equivalent of a warm blanket. You can say anything to me."
I burst out laughing at his ridiculous statement. "Perrin." I set down my coffee. "You are not the human equivalent of a warm blanket."
“Yeah?” He smiles as he takes in the look on my face.
"Yeah." I turn in my chair to face him properly.
"You were so amazing at my apartment. I mean, you immediately shielded me and Adam, then stared down at Anton like he was nothing.
" I pause, remembering the way he positioned himself between me and the door without anyone asking him to.
"That's not a warm blanket. That's someone genuinely brave. "
Perrin goes very still.
His smile doesn't disappear exactly, but it changes, becoming something more uncertain. He looks down at the table, then at his mug, then at the window, and the flush that had started to fade from his ears comes back with reinforcements.
"That's, um." He clears his throat. "Thank you."
"I mean it," I say softly.
I reach over and lay my hand over his. He goes completely still at the contact, looking down at my hand on top of his like he's not sure what to do with it, and I feel something turn over quietly in my chest.
"You're wonderful, Perrin," I say. "I hope you know that."
He lifts his eyes to mine then, and the look on his face stops me completely. It's so open and unguarded, and he's looking at me like he can’t quite believe I’m real.
The warmth of the moment lasts about three seconds before the guilt crashes in.
I look at this beautiful, kind, genuinely wonderful beta sitting beside me in the morning light, and I think about the storage tent.
About his hands flying up like he was being held at gunpoint.
About the way he tried to help me, and I repaid him by forcefully kissing him, then shoving my hand down his pants.
"I'm sorry," I blurt out before I can stop myself.
Perrin's brows pull together. "For what?"
"For what happened at the Morder." I swallow hard. "For forcing myself on you."
Perrin’s eyes go wide and soft all at once, like my words genuinely caught him off guard. Then the sweetest smile spreads across his face. The kind that starts slow and takes over everything, reaching his eyes last.
"Elowen," he says with a soft chuckle. “You didn’t—”
"I did and I'm sorry." I force myself to look at him. "You were just trying to help me and I—"
"It was the best thing that has ever happened to me," he says simply, and I stare at him.
He stares back, completely serious, and then the corner of his mouth starts to pull up, and I realize he means every word of it.
"Perrin," I squeeze his hand. “You can’t honestly think that. I mean, you were trying to help me and I assaulted you.”
"I mean it," he says without an ounce of humor on his face.
"I didn't even know your name, and I shoved my tongue in your mouth.”
"Also true."
"I basically climbed you like a tree."
"You did," he agrees, and that charming smile grows. "And it was incredible." He says the last word like he’s savoring it, and a laugh escapes me before I can catch it, making Perrin laugh too.
I look at Perrin, loving his sweet smile and pink ears, and he obviously likes me—I hope—but that doesn’t excuse what I did.
The fact is, betas aren't like alphas or omegas. They move at a much slower pace.
Perrin is not a casual person.
I can tell. It's in the way he gets all bashful when he flirts, and the fact that he hasn’t even touched me even though he has every right to.
This is a man who moves slowly and carefully through the world, who thinks before he acts, who probably agonizes over things long after everyone else has moved on.
And I practically dragged him into a tent and went feral on him without asking for permission.
My smile fades from my face. "I'm sorry," I say again, quieter this time. "What I did wasn’t right. My heat is no excuse, and I'm sorry for it."
Perrin goes very still.
He looks at me for a long moment, his gaze moving over my face with a quiet intensity that makes my face flush. Then he takes a breath and quickly asks, "Can I kiss you?"
The question sits in the quiet room between us, simple and direct, and so completely unexpected that it takes me a full three seconds to process it.
"Yes," I say as quickly as I can. “Yes, please.”
My heart is hammering against my ribs as I watch Perrin's mouth curve into that slow, sweet smile.