Chapter 32
Adam’s Room
Adam
My freaking pill bottle is empty.
Shit!
I tip it upside down over my palm anyway, give it a shake, and a few chalky flakes fall out. I stare at the dust for a second, then at the bottle.
"Fantastic," I mutter as I toss the empty Verenthicin bottle into the trash, and make a mental note to call Dr. Ellison's office the second they open. It's not the first time I've let the prescription run low, but it's the first time I've let it run out completely.
I take my other two pills, then head down the hall.
Perrin and Raff use the bathroom located between their rooms. It's a perfectly good bathroom, nothing wrong with it, but I've been using Cliff's en suite for so long that the idea of switching feels strange.
I quietly push the master bedroom door open and stop for a second, taking in the room.
Raff fills the enormous bed. He's dead asleep in the middle, face down with one arm thrown wide, and his lips parted slightly against the pillow. His tattooed back rises and falls in a slow, even rhythm.
Cliff’s side of the bed is empty, the sheets flung back. I glance toward the door, then at the floor, listening to the quiet of the house.
He’s probably in the study.
While the shower heats up I strip down, dropping everything in the hamper, and straighten up to face the mirror.
Leaning in, I check my face first, then my chest, arms, and legs. My condition means all kinds of random symptoms can pop up without much warning, but I'm not seeing any discoloration this morning. Which is something at least.
I straighten up and take a proper look at myself.
I've got decent muscle definition, nothing like Cliff or Raff, but I’m still pretty proud.
My arms aren’t as bulky as Perrin’s, but my stomach is flat and my legs are strong.
I've always been the smallest in the pack, shortest by a few inches and slighter through the frame, but I guess that distinction belongs to Elowen now.
Elowen.
I stare at my reflection and think about the omega. She has a lovely figure with full breasts, curvy hips and a very perky ass. And not to mention how beautiful she is.
While I’ve always been more drawn to men, even I can admit that she’s pretty tempting.
I completely understand why Cliff and Raff want her.
She's sweet and soft, and biologically wired to appeal to alphas. And I am a short, boring beta with an autoimmune disease that dictates roughly forty percent of my daily decisions.
I’m not exactly the prize she is.
"Stop it," I snap at the mirror. “You’re being stupid.”
Genuinely, embarrassingly stupid, and I know it.
“Cliff has loved you since you were nineteen years old,” I say outloud, forcing myself to remember.
“And Raff has never once in six years made you feel like anything other than exactly what he wanted. They chose you.” I narrow my eyes at my reflection.
“And they keep choosing you, every single day.”
…and standing here torturing myself, over a woman who is clearly just as lost as the rest of us, is a waste of time. And kind of mean.
“You really annoy me sometimes,” I mumble to my reflection, then I move toward the shower.
The water is hot, and the bathroom is full of steam by the time I step in. I stand under the spray for a long moment with my eyes closed, letting it work through the tension sitting in my shoulders.
I wash my hair first, then work my way down, and I'm almost done, running a soapy hand down my legs, when the bathroom door opens.
I smile, knowing those footsteps.
The shower door slides open and Cliff steps in behind me, already naked, ducking slightly to fit under the spray. His big hands find my shoulders without a single word. I straighten up and let him, tipping my head forward as he works his thumbs into the muscles on either side of my spine.
"Morning," he says, pressing a kiss to the back of my neck.
"I thought you were in the study."
"I was." He reaches past me for the soap, and then his hands find my back, thoroughly working into the muscles.
I close my eyes, deciding this is the best thing that has happened to me all week.
"I need to go to the pharmacy today," I say, before I forget. "Pick up a refill on my meds."
"Which ones?"
"Verenthicin." I pause. "I ran out this morning."
Cliff's hands falter for a second, then continue. "I was planning on heading to Montclare Family Pharmacy this afternoon anyway," he says. "You can come with me if you want."
Something in my chest lifts unexpectedly. It's a run-of-the-mill pharmacy trip across town, which is not exciting by any means, but I’m restless, and the last thing I want is to be stuck inside all day.
"Yeah?" I say. "Road trip?"
"It's twenty minutes across town."
"Still counts," I say. I can hear the smile in his silence. "Is Raff coming?" I ask.
"Everyone else is gone," Cliff's deep voice rumbles against my ear. "We're all alone."
I open one eye. "Totally alone?"
"Mm. They went to the shop."
I turn my head slightly. "All of them? Raff too?"
"Yup. I dragged him out of bed myself." Cliff's hands work lower, sliding down to my hips. His thumbs press into the muscle there with a firm pressure that makes my toes curl. "While I completely trust Perrin and Odette, I feel better having Raff there with Elowen.”
"That’s smart," I say, and I mean it.
After what happened in her apartment, I’m not exactly confident she should be without protection either.
"I saw Perrin and Elowen kissing this morning," I say.
Cliff's hands pause for half a second, then continue. "Yeah?"
"In the sunroom." I look down at the water running over my feet.
"It was kind of sweet actually." I pause, trying to find the right words.
"Perrin has always liked girls. He just never really let himself go there, you know?
With everything else going on." I shrug, then look over my shoulder at Cliff.
"It makes me happy that he has that now.”
Cliff is quiet for a moment, his hands settling on my hips.
"Are you warming up to her?" he asks, and his voice is careful in the way it gets when he actually wants to know the answer.
I consider lying. It would be easy to give a noncommittal grunt then change the subject, but I don’t want to be a sulking beta anymore. It’s tired and pretty pathetic.
"I don't fully know," I say honestly, which is more than I've admitted out loud yet. "I like how happy she's making you." I pause. "And Raff."
Cliff's fingers curl around my hips, turning me around to face him. He looks down at me with those dark eyes and water running down his gorgeous face.
"You make me pretty fucking happy too," he says. "In case that needed saying."
"It didn't," I say, but I smile anyway.
"But I'm still gonna say it.”
I look up at my mate for a moment, at the water catching in his lashes and the absolute certainty in his expression. I really do love this man. And Raff. And Perrin, but not the same way, obviously.
"I know," I say.
Cliff studies me for a second, then he says, "I'll be honest. I know you aren’t declaring your love for her or anything like that, but I expected this to take you longer."
"What, accepting her?"
"Betas need time," he says simply. "You especially."
I give him a flat look. "I moved in with you and Raff after knowing you for less than two months."
"That's different."
"Is it?"
He opens his mouth, closes it, then concedes the point with a slight dip of his chin. "Fair enough."
"I'm not one to dwell," I say. "Once I've made a decision, I stick to it." I reach up and push a rivulet of water off his forehead because it's bothering me. "I only needed a minute to get my head around it. That's all."
Cliff catches my wrist as I lower my hand, holding it loosely, his thumb moving across my pulse point. His eyes drop to my mouth in a way that does immediate, wonderful things to my nervous system.
"Just a minute?" he says, his voice dropping by half a register.
"Don't push it," I say, but I'm already leaning in slightly and we both know it.
He smiles. Actually smiles, wide and real, which is rare enough on Cliff's face that it always stops me for a second.
"I heard you last night," I say, before he can kiss me and make me forget what I was going to say.
He raises one brow. "Heard me?”
"Yes.” I hold his gaze. "Through the wall. I heard you and Raff. With her."
Something shifts in his expression, becoming careful. "And how did that make you feel?"
I think about lying again. About shrugging it off or making a joke or doing any of the seventeen things I usually do when I don't want to process something difficult.
Then I think about what I said to myself in the mirror less than ten minutes ago about being stupid.
"Jealous," I say. "And also pretty horny, if I'm being completely honest."
Cliff stares at me for exactly two seconds.
Then he laughs, low and warm, then he pulls me in by the back of the neck, pressing his lips to my forehead.
"God, I love you," he says against my skin.
"I know," I say into his chest. "Now, are you going to do something about the horny part or not?"
Cliff pulls back to look at my face, and I watch the smile on his face fade slowly, replaced by something that makes my stomach drop in the best possible way. His eyes darken and his jaw sets, and he looks at me like he could eat me alive.
"Turn around," he growls softly.
"Yes, alpha," I say, failing completely to suppress a grin as I spin.
Cliff’s hands find my hips again, and he walks me forward until my palms hit the cool tile of the shower wall, and I spread them flat against it and drop my head forward as he moves behind me.
The full length of my alpha presses against my back, warm and solid and very big.
"You know," he says against the back of my neck, his lips barely touching my skin, "being jealous isn't a bad thing."
"I'm aware," I say, waiting for him to take me.