Chapter 13
Constantine
“Fuck, I want to do naughty things to you.”
Have you ever been hungry for another human?
Like starving for them? I don’t mean the eating kind.
That’s gross. I mean, this visceral need to have them in all ways—sexually, intimately, and intellectually.
Heck, I’d take Enzo’s thumb if that’s all he ever gave me.
His words set something off deep inside my soul.
I know right then that I would give him the world if he asked me.
I don’t kill unless someone is desperate for me to do it, but I would kill anyone for him. Anyone.
No one has ever wanted me like Enzo. No one has ever talked to me the way he does.
But when he says words like that in his deep, raspy voice, I lose my ability to speak.
I can’t find the words. My mind goes blank.
All I see are images of him doing all sorts of perverse things to me.
He can have my full body and soul. I want to tell him that, but all that comes out after he pulls his thumb from my mouth is a lame, “Yes.”
He brushes his face against mine, breathing warm air into my ear. My body shivers, and I break out in a blanket of goosebumps. “I don’t think you’re ready for what I want to do to you, Little Bird.”
Why does that nickname fill me with so much pleasure? “I am. I want it all.”
Enzo pulls away, but he’s still close to me. He cups my jaw by my throat to make me look at him before he leans forward again and presses his lips to mine. If I die right here and now, it will be with a smile on my face and a full heart.
His lips are so soft and all-consuming. Some weird noise escapes me when he presses his other hand to my cheek.
He’s so gentle and tender. My senses are completely heightened as I notice every little thing from the dried sweat on his skin, to the saltiness on his lips, to the heat of his body that’s so close to mine.
I hear my heart in my ears and our heavy breathing.
My eyes are open, so I don’t miss a thing.
But when he forcefully shoves his tongue into my mouth, they slam close.
Yes, this is the very definition of being hungry for someone, like I’ve never been fed before, and I finally have a bite to eat. It makes my emotions swirl violently in my head, making everything hard to process.
I want to cry. I want to laugh. I want to dance. I want to scream happily up to heaven.
When Enzo pulls away, I gasp and chase his lips. My eyes open, and they’re watery. He looks at me with a furrowed brow and a frown. “Fuck… Maybe we shouldn’t do—”
I don’t let him get those last words out.
If he says we have to stop, I’ll die. No way I’m stopping this, so I lunge at him.
It’s completely unlike me, but I don’t care anymore.
Enzo is it for me. His eyes explode as he falls back on the couch, and I straddle his hard, thick thighs.
“We’re not stopping. We’re never stopping. ”
He quirks a brow, but instead of getting mad or shoving me off, he smiles crookedly. I like it when he does that, like he’s sharing an inside joke with me.
“Is that a fact?”
“Yep.” I finger the pretty cross resting in the notch between his clavicles. “Do you believe?”
“No. Not anymore.”
“Then why do you wear this?”
“It was my last gift from Enrique. I wear it for him.”
I nod thoughtfully, wishing I’d gotten such pretty gifts for Christmas instead of rotting mutilations and gore.
“Do you believe?” he asks me. “It seems you do.”
“Yes.”
“Why, after all you’ve been through?”
“Because he helped me escape my abuse. Because he brought me to you.”
“That was all you.”
I glance at his dark eyes, watching me with curiosity, not disdain, discomfort, or awkwardness like so many other people who get to know me. “No, he set me on a path. He put you in my path for a reason.”
He says nothing. I like that he doesn’t argue with me, even if he’s a non-believer.
I let go of his cross, allowing my hands to travel along his torso and chest. His skin is incredibly smooth, but his body is as hard as a rock.
There’s no give in his muscles when you press down on them with your fingers.
“I want you to do those naughty things to me.”
Enzo suddenly sits up, taking me with him, and suddenly I’m the one on my back. This is much better. I like his controlling me because it shows how much he wants me, too. He’s heavy as he straddles my thighs, but I don’t care. It’s a comforting weight.
“What naughty things? Be specific, Con. I want to hear the words spilling from your mouth.”
“I-I want to be kissed, sucked, licked, bent over, railed, spread, pounded, rimmed, controlled, bred, nipples bitten, fingered, toys used on me, gagged with your cock, cum on my face, pissed on… Uhm, what else?”
Enzo throws back his head and laughs before glancing back down at me.
He’s not making fun of me, not like Steve used to do in his cruelty.
Enzo’s eyes are kind and affectionate, and his fingers gently brush away the bangs from my face.
“Sorry, I just find it funny since I have yet to hear you say one bad word.” He leans down and grazes my throat with his nose, then hovers his face near mine.
“It seems you’ve got it all figured out. ”
I quickly nod with a burning face. “I watch a lot of porn.” Seriously, my heart is full. He didn’t once make fun of me for my choices. “C-can we do those things?”
“If that’s what you want, Little Bird. Damn… you’re going to make a fun little bottom.”
He pins my hands down on the couch, leans forward, and kisses me again. It’s harder and more forceful, making it kind of hard to breathe, like he’s sucking the oxygen right out of my lungs, but I don’t care.
God, I can’t believe he’s really kissing me. It’s better than I ever imagined. The first time I got kissed, it was awkward and too fast. But this right now is pure magic.
Enzo pulls away way too soon and climbs off me. Before the disappointment takes over, he reaches his hand out to me. I take it, and he effortlessly hefts me up to stand. He doesn’t let go of it as he drags me to the back of his house and into his bedroom.
His room is so much nicer than mine. Then again, he cares about his house. I didn’t get a good look at it last time, being in the dark and trying to…
The memory stops me in my tracks. God, to think I nearly killed him. If I’d been successful, I wouldn’t be having this moment with him. The thought slams straight into my gut, leaving me breathless, and I feel the ever-familiar rise of anxiety.
What have I done?
Then, the doubt creeps in. Was I wrong about the others, too?
My face and pits break out in a sweat, and my body starts shaking violently.
Large, gentle hands grasp my face. Enzo forces me to look up at him, his eyes full of concern. Concern about me. Me. Someone who nearly took his life. It makes me want to cry.
“What just happened?” he asks.
I grasp his wrists, not to pry him off, but to stay connected to him.
“I-I almost killed you.”
“Is it being in my room that’s upsetting you?”
See, he completely gets me. I nod, unable to say anything else since my mouth feels like it’s stuffed with cotton, and I can’t find any spit to swallow.
“But you didn’t kill me. Not even almost. Yes, you chose wrongly, but you couldn’t get past my quick reactions. Right?”
I nod again.
“Is this room a trigger? We can go somewhere else.”
I glance around. It’s neat and clean; the bed is made, covered in a thick, downy comforter in cream with matching curtains.
The walls are charcoal gray, and the furniture is simple and modern.
When I look back into his eyes, still worried about me, I shake my head.
I lick my dry lips and say, “It just… hit me.”
“How do you feel now?” I check my heart and breathing. Yeah, I’m calmer. It’s Enzo’s touch. He’s still holding my face. “Better?”
“Yeah.”
He drops his arms to his sides. “Good. Okay, let me shower. I’ve been sweating my ass off all day. You can hang out here.”
“Wait! Y-you promised naughty things.”
His brows shot to his hairline. “Con, you just had a panic attack. I think maybe you should just chill for a bit.”
“No, I want to chill with you. Can we please do naughty things?”
He stares at me for a long time, not saying a word. I can tell he’s conflicted, which only makes me fall harder for him. He’s showing more care than I ever dreamed of having. I’m not sure I deserve it after what I did to him, but I need it.
Without saying anything, he grabs my hand and tugs me out of his room and into his bathroom, the place where he healed me. Now, it will be a place of pleasure.
Enzo drops my hand to run the shower, then he grabs my face and kisses me again. This time, I kiss him back. I did before, but I was all awkward. Now, I’m starting to get the hang of it. My cock swells in my jeans, and I can’t wait until he touches it. The thought makes it jump.
“I want to taste you,” I say when we come up for air.
“Oh, yeah? Where do you want to taste me?”
“Everywhere. I want to taste the salt and sweat on your skin.” God, it’s so easy to talk to him, even if my face is on fire.
“I have this fantasy of being on my knees in the middle of the fighting ring. You’re all wet after your workout.
The thought of sucking on you, licking off your sweat… it makes me really hard.”
“Well, shit. That’s hot as hell, Little Bird.”
“Y-you don’t think that’s weird?”
“Nah. I like it.”
God, he really gets me. Yep, I’d definitely burn everything down to ash for him.
Tentatively, I lift his heavy arm to expose his armpit.
There’s a thatch of black hair, but it’s not thick.
He watches me when I press my nose there and take a deep breath.
I can’t explain for the life of me why I like his smell or why I want to breathe him in before his shower. It’s just so… masculine.
As my nose grazes his pit, I peek out my tongue for a taste.
Then I grow bolder and swipe my tongue over his skin.
He tastes of deodorant and salt. My eyes look up to see what he thinks.
I can’t tell what’s on his face, but he’s watching my every move.
Since he hasn’t shoved me away, I guess he likes it?
Enzo grabs my hand and places my palm on his cock.
He’s so hard. As hard as the rest of him.
God, and I can feel the heat of him through his sweats.
My entire body is electrified, and I want to make myself come already, but I’d rather take my time and explore.
This is my first time being with a man like this, and I’m not about to waste a precious second.
I finally step back and, without taking my eyes off his, despite how weird it feels sometimes, I slowly drop to my knees. Enzo stands there, continuing to watch my every move, allowing me to do whatever I want.
I dig my fingers into the waistband of his sweats, and when he gives me a slight nod, I tug them down along with his jockstrap. The fabric slowly slides over his cock, exposing dark, velvety skin, darker than the rest of him. Saliva pools in my mouth at the sight.
When he pops free, I’m face-to-face with the prettiest dick I’ve ever seen, not that I’ve seen any, other than what’s on the internet.
I’m nervous, not only because I haven’t done this before, but because I want to please him and I’m afraid I’ll fail.
When Enzo caresses my head with his fingers, I instantly relax. “You can’t do it wrong,” he reassures, as if he can read my mind.
“Okay.”
My hands explore his thighs, made of steel and lightly dusted with black hair.
It’s soft. As I explore his skin, I press my nose in that crook between his thigh and balls and take a deep breath.
He smells feral and sexy, musky with hints of sweat and the remnants of his body wash or cologne.
God, I could inhale him all day like this, to breathe him in for eternity.
And I would if I didn’t want to taste him so badly.
I pull away and look up at him again. He still has a gentle hold of my hair, still watching me, and still looking curious.
My dick is so hard. It’s never been this hard before, not even when I rub one out.
“Will you say nice things to me? Will you talk dirty to me?” I ask him, my face flaming again, because I don’t know if what I’m asking is weird.
Enzo lets go of my hair and places his fingers under my chin after I look away. “Do you need to be praised, Little Bird?”
“Yes.”
He pries my mouth open with his thumb again, but he doesn’t want me sucking it this time. “Open up and take my cock. Let’s see how well that pretty mouth of yours works.”
God, he wants me. He really wants me.