Chapter 15 Emery #2
“He’s, um…” I dropped my gaze and focused on the water in front of me. “He’s just my bodyguard,” I finally managed out as I turned away from Noah to focus my attention back on Abigail.
“He looks like he’s a Navy SEAL or…an assassin.” She’d returned her attention back to Noah. “I wonder if those tattoos mean something. Like a body count.” I wanted to look to see what he was doing now, but I refused to let myself indulge. “Is he single?” she asked.
Her words caused my cheeks to warm once again. Was Noah single? I’d always assumed so. After all, he never left my apartment unless I did. If he had a girlfriend, he never tried to see her.
“Maybe?” I shrugged. “I don’t know. We don’t talk much.”
“You don’t talk to him?” Abigail leaned in, her voice rising with disbelief.
I could hear Noah and Bash talking, and the last thing I wanted was for Noah to overhear Abigail. “Shhh.” I brought my finger to my lips. “He doesn’t talk much, and neither do I.” I widened my eyes, hoping she would keep her voice down.
“You should ask him,” she said, her gaze moving as, I could only assume from the splash of water behind me, Noah got into the pool.
I stared at her. “I can’t do that,” I said, shaking my head.
Abigail frowned. “Why not? You need a husband. If he’s single…” She waved her hand like that was all she needed to say. “I mean, you could do worse.”
I couldn’t believe what she implying. “You think I should marry Noah?” I hissed as I grabbed Abigail’s arm and quickly moved her away from where Noah was.
I didn’t stop until we got to the opposite end of the pool.
The last thing I needed in my life was for him to overhear Abigail. I’d die from embarrassment.
“I mean, would it be so bad?”
We were standing in the shallow end now. My arms were folded across my chest as my brain tried to process her words. This was ridiculous.
“That can never happen,” I finally managed out.
“Why not?” Abigail frowned.
I quickly glanced over at Noah before I turned my attention back to Abigail. “He was Carson’s friend.”
“And?” Abigail didn’t look convinced.
“And…he’s my bodyguard.”
“And?”
I frowned. “And he’s being paid to follow me around.”
Abigail gasped before she paused. “I’m still not seeing the issue.”
I didn’t know how to explain it to her. And it was frustrating that she wasn’t leaving it alone.
The last thing I wanted to do was marry Noah just to keep the board from booting me out.
I wanted love. I wanted a marriage. I wanted to heal from losing Carson and move forward with the rest of my life.
Faking something with Noah didn’t seem fair to me or him.
“I want a real marriage. One that lasts,” I finally managed, my voice barely a whisper. Noah didn’t want to marry me. I was a job to him, that was it. Sure, he was handsome and ridiculously muscular, but we weren’t destined to be together.
He deserved to find someone who loved him just liked I deserved the same.
“Oh,” Abigail said, and suddenly her arms were around me and pulling me into a hug. “I understand.” She pulled back and met my gaze. I could see her apology in her eyes. “You deserve to find your prince.”
Tears clung to my eyes once more. I knew what she was trying to say, but I couldn’t help but feel like I’d already found my Prince Charming, but he was gone now. I’d had my fairy tale. It was selfish to want another.
“Thanks,” I finally said. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Abigail.
I hated crying in front of people, especially when it came to Carson.
I knew people meant well when they pulled me into a hug and told me that I deserved all the happiness in the world.
That Carson was needed in heaven more than he was needed here.
They always had nice sentiments, but they did little to fill the gaping hole left in my heart from losing him.
It was best to keep my breakdowns to the privacy of my own room. Where I could say “this sucks” and no one would tell me why it didn’t.
Thankfully, Abigail didn’t push me further. She gave me one last squeeze and then turned her attention to the boys at the other end of the pool, who were in a very heated squirt-gun battle.
Abigail charged headfirst into the fire, using Bash as a shield as she tried to get Timothy, who was clinging to Noah’s back for protection. Timothy was squealing and, for the first time since I could remember, I saw Noah smile. I heard him laugh. It was deep and rumbly.
Was it wrong to say I liked it?
I blinked, forcing myself to the present. Damn Abigail and her words. Putting thoughts in my head that would have never gotten there on their own. Noah was my bodyguard. His time with Timothy and me was limited. As soon as I was married, I doubted he was going to stick around.
I needed to push all of those thoughts from my mind and focus on my son.
“Ha ha,” I said as I grabbed a squirt gun from the side of the pool and stuck it into the water so it would fill up. As soon as I lifted it out, I sent a steady stream right at Abigail.
“Take cover, Mommy!” Timothy shouted as Abigail turned her squirt gun in my direction.
“Ah!” I yelled as I quickly slipped under the water.
I floated there for a few seconds, waiting for Abigail to finish her attack before I resurfaced. Once I felt like it was safe, I popped back up only to be met with the sight of Noah’s broad back.
“Hurry, Mommy, get behind Noah.” Timothy’s face appeared in front of me. His gaze was desperate, and it matched the tone of his voice.
“Um, okay,” I said as I treaded water behind Noah.
“You stay with Noah, and I’ll go under the water and swim up behind them and do a sneak attack.” Timothy’s eyes were wide as he relayed the plan to me. Before I could respond, he was under the water and swimming away, leaving me very much alone with Noah.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. Timothy wanted me to stay put, but we were floating in a pool and it was becoming increasingly hard to not touch Noah while also staying behind him. This was awkward, and I could feel that it was awkward for Noah as well.
“He insisted that I come save you.” Noah tipped his head to the side.
“Ah,” I said just as my hand brushed against Noah’s back. I felt his muscles tighten. “Sorry,” I whispered.
He chuckled. “It’s okay. We are in a pool.”
I laughed, praying he didn’t pick up on how anxious I was. “That’s true.”
Suddenly, Timothy burst out of the water right behind Abigail with a war cry. She screamed and flailed as he pelted her with water. I took that moment, while everyone was distracted, to move out from behind Noah so I had more room.
Bash and Abigail performed an Oscar-worthy death scene before they finally surrendered. When they resurrected, they each grabbed ahold of Timothy and smothered him with kisses. He screamed and pushed, trying to get away from them.
Abigail held onto Bash as they made their way over to Noah and me. Timothy took up the rear. I could tell he was purposely keeping his distance from them in case they decided on another sneak attack.
“What should we play next?” Timothy asked as his head bobbed up and down in the water. His expectant attention was on Noah, who looked around at the other adults for some assistance.
“I, uh…” He paused. “The only pool game I know is chicken?”
“I think that’s a great idea!” Abigail exclaimed. She was holding onto Bash with her arms resting on his shoulders. I whipped my gaze over to her just in time to see her wiggle her eyebrows at me.
Great.
I stared at her for a moment before I turned my attention back to Timothy.
I could only hope that she wasn’t suggesting what I thought she was suggesting with that look.
It had been awkward when I accidentally brushed my hand against Noah’s back.
Climbing up onto his shoulders would take things between us to a whole other level.
“I’m sure there’s other games,” I said as I raised my hands up to try and stop this train wreck.
“What’s chicken?” Timothy asked. I could see his little hands moving under the water as he propelled himself in circles.
“You get on Bash’s shoulders and your mom gets on Noah’s shoulders, and you try to knock each other into the water.” Abigail started swimming toward the shallow end.
He cheered as he followed after her. “Come on, Mommy! It’ll be fun.” Anything to do with wrestling had Timothy.
I glanced over at Noah, whose face was deadpan. He glanced back over at me for a second before he turned his attention to Timothy, who was now calling to us as he jumped up and down in the water.
I forced a smile, not wanting to have to explain to everyone why I didn’t want to play an innocent round of chicken. “I’m coming,” I said through gritted teeth.
Noah hesitated, but I didn’t wait to see if he was going to join me. I turned and made my way over to Timothy. His eyes were wide as he grinned at me.
There was no getting away from this now. This was going to happen.
I had hoped that Abigail would pick up on my desperate glances in her direction, but she seemed content to ignore me. She helped Timothy climb up onto Bash’s shoulders and then started giving him pointers on how to get me down.
Noah stood about a foot away from me, his entire body tense. I could feel his unease. It matched my own. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. I was a grown woman about to climb onto this man’s shoulders. I doubted it would look or feel graceful at all.
“Come on, Mommy!” Timothy shouted. “Let’s fight.”
This was happening. This. Was. Happening.
“I, um…” I paused as I took a step closer to Noah. “Should I…?” This was so awkward.
“Let’s go to the deep end so you can climb up,” Noah said before he turned and started walking.
That sounded like a good idea. I followed after him until the water covered my shoulders.
“I’ll dip down, and you can climb up.” Noah’s gaze was on me now. He was standing inches away from me.
Unable to meet his gaze, I kept my focus on the large tattoo that covered his right pec. “Sounds like a plan.”
The seconds that ticked by felt like hours before Noah sucked in his breath and disappeared beneath the surface.
I reached out and grasped onto his shoulders.
I quickly swung my legs over his shoulders and instantly felt his hands grip my calves.
I held on under his chin—making sure that I didn’t choke him—as he straightened and emerged out of the water.
My entire body felt like it was on fire. There were so many points of contact between Noah’s body and mine that my brain was short-circuiting. Part of me instantly wanted to climb down, but the other part of me—the part that was winning—didn’t want to disappoint my son.
It was best to just keep moving so we could play this stupid game. I needed to free my hands, so I wrapped my feet around to Noah’s back to stabilize myself. Once I was ready, Noah shifted his hands to my thighs before he tightened his grip on me.
I was now officially closer to Noah than I’d been to any other man since Carson.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of this, and I knew if I tried to overanalyze it too much, I was going to spiral.
This was for Timothy, and Timothy alone.
Thankfully, the battle helped take my mind off Noah.
I’d never seen Timothy so determined to take me down before.
His little eyebrows were drawn together, his gaze was razor focused, and his jaw was set.
His little hands were like bullets as he pushed and pulled, trying to get me off Noah’s shoulders.
Noah was steady, taking the hits from Bash who was trying to assist Timothy in my downfall.
It was strange, but I felt safe with Noah.
His grip was firm as he held me tight to his body.
I felt like I could be up there for hours.
I laughed as I reached out to tickle Timothy a few times, but that just spurred him on.
Finally, I let Timothy’s blows land and I fell back into the pool, taking Noah with me. When I emerged out of the water, Noah was right next to me, wiping water from his face.
“Sorry about that,” I said softly, leaning into him. “I had to let Timothy win.”
Noah glanced down at me before he pushed his hand through his hair, spraying water droplets all around him. “No worries,” he said.
I gave him a soft smile and a nod before I turned to find my son. Timothy and Bash were celebrating in the shallow end, so I moved to join him. I lifted him out of the water and snuggled him. I’d lose again and again if it meant I could witness the look of pure joy on his face.
We spent the rest of the night playing a few more games of chicken—with Abigail on Bash’s shoulders and Timothy on Noah’s. I chose to sit them out, claiming that I wanted to watch.
Timothy started to yawn, so I called it a night and headed for the showers. Once I was dressed in warm clothes, I headed out of the locker room to see Noah, Bash, and Abigail were waiting for me with a sleepy Timothy between them.
Noah and I rode with Abigail, and Bash drove Timothy. By the time I climbed into bed, Timothy was passed out. I closed my eyes and forced my brain to sleep.
Today had been an eventful day. Between Rex and Noah, I’d definitely put my nervous system to the test. I’d pushed myself out of my comfort zone and survived.
Which meant, tomorrow, I could do more.
Not because I wanted to. I had to.