Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Augustine felt a mix of longing and nostalgia all at the same time, but she didn’t dare confess her emotions out loud.
“Why did you ask me to pretend I couldn’t see you?” she asked instead.
Alderian shook his head and gently took the Silver Thread.
“This thread that connects us is a symbol of our sacred union. It sounds great, but in reality, we couldn’t be further from each other.
We are and will always be together, and yet we are not.
Because for an A’aruin, although they can see, hear, and feel their human, the human should never know their A’aruin even exists, ever.
That’s how we’ve lived all these years.”
Augustine rested both hands on the kitchen counter, her eyes closed. “I think it’s a shitty system,” she declared.
Alderian smiled slightly. “As elegant as ever,” he responded ironically, though without losing his smile.
“Do you actually think it’s okay to have us going in circles around each other?” she pressed. “You must surely be bored with seeing me repeatedly for hundreds of years.”
Alderian wasn’t smiling anymore. “Bored wouldn’t exactly be the word I would choose to express how I feel after so many years watching you.”
Augustine blushed, suddenly embarrassed.
“But don’t worry, Augustine. Everything will go back to normal,” he said, his tone seeking to seem reassuring.
“Although sometimes there can be glitches in the system, like now, upon sleeping this will be corrected. Most likely tomorrow you won’t remember any of this and, honestly, that is for the best.”
Augustine closed her eyes. “Yes, it’s probably for the best. There are things it’s better not to know.”
“Exactly. Tomorrow you shouldn’t be able to see me anymore, or remember this conversation, so don’t worry too much,” Alderian agreed. “But until this is solved, please be extra careful and act as if you didn’t see me at all, understand?”
“But why? I still don’t understand why it must be kept secret,” Augustine replied.
“Because this isn’t just any error: it’s a serious anomaly, and the last thing we need right now is for the High Council to find out.”
Augustine seemed to take it seriously for a moment, then suddenly she laughed. Alderian looked at her as if she had lost her mind.
“All this is so absurd,” she said when she finally contained herself. “Do you realize that I can’t do anything about it? Even if you tell me a lightning bolt will fall on me, I can’t stop seeing what I see.”
“I don’t expect you to stop seeing me,” Alderian pointed out. “I only ask that, while the anomaly remains, you pretend, Augustine. Pre-tend.”
She looked at him as if now he were the one who had lost his mind. “I don’t know how you expect me to do that. I’m terrible at acting.”
Alderian observed her for a second and, to Augustine’s surprise, he laughed under his breath, clearly agreeing with her lack of dramatic skills. Augustine felt slightly offended, but she enjoyed seeing how his face relaxed.
“Fine, do what you can,” he conceded. “But don’t talk to me in front of other people.”
“Of course I won’t,” she replied. “What would they think of me if they saw me talking alone?”
“And don’t talk to me in front of other A’aruin.”
She didn’t understand at first, but when she finally caught what he meant, she let out a resigned sigh. “Better if I just stop talking forever.”
The sudden sound of her mother’s office door opening startled them both. Terrified, Augustine ran upstairs without thinking twice, retreating into what had been her childhood bedroom.
“Augustine?” she heard her mother calling from the ground floor.
“I’m busy!” she shouted back, locking the door from the inside. Turning around, she muttered, “What a nightmare… They almost saw us.”
“Although it’s unnecessary for you to hide,” Alderian laughed, appearing amused by her desperate efforts. “It’s enough that you act as always and ignore my presence.”
“You’re right,” Augustine laughed too.
Yet, it was a shame to think she wouldn’t remember him tomorrow. Not just a shame; Augustine actively didn’t want to forget him. She wanted to know more about Alderian.
Shortly after, Augustine rejected her mother’s invitation to stay for lunch, having glimpsed her mother’s A’aruin approaching in the distance. Lacking the confidence to stay neutral in front of another entity, she made up a quick excuse, said goodbye, and set out on her way back home.
Alderian said nothing the whole way, but he followed her closely, watching her movements with quiet curiosity. She wished she could study him back, but just thinking about it made her blush up to her ears.
Upon arriving home, she locked the front door and leaned against the wood with a heavy sigh. She headed to her bedroom, glancing at Alderian from time to time, noting how deeply familiar he seemed with her space.
“I want to change clothes. How do we do it?” she proposed, searching through her wardrobe for her favorite hoodie. “Can you turn around while I get dressed? Or, if you want, wait for me outside…”
Alderian looked at her with incredulous eyes. “Are you serious? I’ve accompanied you in each of your incarnations… and you’re worried about me seeing you now?”
Augustine blushed with fierce embarrassment. “I didn’t know you were there before, but now I see you. How can I change clothes without feeling uncomfortable?”
“Augustine, we A’aruin don’t have those kinds of thoughts you are imagining,” he reproached, his tone almost paternal.
Augustine’s eyebrow shot up, thoroughly skeptical.
“But if you insist, I will stop manifesting in this plane for a while. If you need me, you just have to pull your Silver Thread and I will know you want me to return.”
“Does it really work like that?” she asked, curious, studying the thread with renewed interest.
“I’m very sensitive to our connection; I will surely feel you calling me.”
Augustine stood in front of him and cautiously took the delicate strand.
“Nothing bad will happen, just touch it,” he encouraged.
“Like this?” she asked, pulling the thread near where it connected with Alderian’s chest. However, she did it with far more strength than she had intended.
Caught completely unprepared, he stumbled forward, his face suddenly ending up agonizingly close to Augustine’s. She held her breath, completely stunned; it had never been her intention to seem so bold.
“Like that…” he whispered after a few seconds of mute surprise, before pulling away slowly.
Before she could say another word, Alderian disappeared, leaving her completely alone in the quiet of her room.